I'm so freaking done.

I just spent 4 hours looking for my card as i need is for my driving lesson,rung my instructor to cancel then literally turned up less than a minute later.Im a freaking mess,I just want to cry and curl up and not drive.Im an incredibly nervous driver anyways and I'm panicking just because of this.Anyone know ways to calm down?I've still got 2 hours till I go and I just know I'm going to be headless chicken without this as well.I really can't deal with myself when I'm lthis,I don't know what to do.

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And im sorry to rant this out Here,If I don't I'm just going to be a wreck.Im so sick of being this freaking stupid,

I have quite a few coping mechanisms for anxiety. When I get home in an hour or so I'll write em down :) is there a particular part that brings the anxiety?

Thank you so much.
I dont really know.I just can't cope with driving,I'm not sure on how or why.It just,I don't know.It just messes me around,I knew I was going to be a little anxious anyways and planned to stay chill this morning.Just didn't work out the way i planned at all. <.>
I just wish I hadn't bothered.Wish I wasn't so freaking pessimistic about everything.I don't know when do you start looking for help?It's just getting worse,I'm having more breakdowns way more frequently,I'm just tired and majority of the time can't find the drive to do anything.Im so incredibly thankful to be on here,Talking to you guys is what keeps me sane alot of the time.

So my driving anxiety is similar but different to yours. 1, I have a very significant fear of falling asleep at the wheel because my sleep disorder basically makes it that if I'm not constantly going and doing, I will fall asleep. 2, I absolutely hate conflict and people drive like idiots. I don't know if you're religious but I'll tell you I always pray going into an intersection, trafficked area, etc., and He has never not made a way for me. It's usually a simple prayer, i.e. "God, make a way" or "Give me peace and understanding and common sense." He always does, He is pretty cool like that :) Another is to focus on certain things, such as "what is the color of the car in front of me, license plate, etc." Doesn't really apply for driving school but I also like blasting music and A.C., but that's to keep me awake. I am a very cold person in general so the more miserable I am the more likely to stay awake, but music could help. Like focusing on that in the background. Then, just driving with confidence. Trust that your instructor knows what he/she is doing and if they're not telling you you're doing anything wrong, you're doing it right :) Breathing exercises help too.

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On a completely different note, how was training for today? Anybody have good w4/8s?

Also, for mental health in general, there are several enneagram accounts on instagram that help keep me together, lots of great resources out there. I can forward some to anybody who would like :)

Thank you so much hun,He's going to be here any minute now and I can feel myself trembling Lol.Ill be fine tho,You're totally right.

I wish I had the ability to be religious,Because i always think it must just be such an incredible thing to always have that 'safety net' as such,something constant to always believe in.But I'm a more see it to believe it sort of person unfortunately :(

I get worried I wont be able to see properly,and that I'm going to upset people.I dont want to crash and be in a conflict with someone.I dont want to cause any problems.I dont like things being out of my control in a way,and there is so much stuff when driving to worry about it frazzles my brain.I have to have the A.C. on really high in the tractors because i get rediculously nauseous.Sometimes I sit there trembling its so cold but the moment I turn it off I get a splitting head ache.Probably more of a mental thing I think.

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Nah,Nothing too interesting over here.You get anything good on your never ending list of accounts LMAO?

Ach Flip. Sending hugs <333

(I'm terrible at writing feelings, Rush to the rescue xD)

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My EEE WB repeated her 4/6 week 8, plus my Z P1/2 Ccr EWW girl was also 4/6. Otherwise everything flopped lol. I am losing faith in my knabbies like hell :)

ooh sweet tangler <3

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I don't know, everything was a blur lmao. The highlights [that I can remember, I just tracked 200+ between all my accounts] are these two boys. The SD dude was surprising since his lines wouldn't really indicate nice training and he's only an E.

I'm just over here taking mental notes of Therapist Rish's inspiring words since I have a panic disorder in real life. Like in most days I'll be very happy and fine but on other most days I'll just have a panic attack out of no where once or twice a day which both mentally & emotionally drains me to where I feel dizzy to the point where I need to lay or sit down somewhere 😅

The amount of times I've PMed Rish like "I'm exhausted please pray it's a mess and I don't even can I stop being - help?" is almost entertaining.