(Wolves can't cry but I'm going off on a tangent, bear with me)

Scarred Thorn

Alpha Male

Scar was trembling with exhaustion, in pain, patched up, but the worst of all was the mental agony that gnawed at his mind. The thought that he should never go back. The thought of Vindaria waiting, staying in the den, preparing for his return, a return that might never happen. The thought that if he did return.. what would he be met with? Revoltion? Disgust? Terror? Hatred? He looked like a monster, and if Scar had learned one thing it was that many wolves only paid attention to the outside. With that thought, of course, his inside wasn't much better. he was half-blind, had a permanent limp, and was covered in more scars than a wolf twice his age. His name even sounded horrible to him now. He was just one... big... wound. One big scar. And many wolves saw him as that. As Scar stared at his reflection emotions swamped him, and he was at the point of breaking. he couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't take the pain, the quietness, the lonliness. he was too weak. Too weak. As he collapsed on the ground, salty tears leaked down his marred, blood-riddled face, mixing with the red blood and turning crimson as they fell into the river, washed away, downstream, never to be seen again. Tears he should've let out and shed long, long ago. One thought. one thought was what made him stay, what made him stand back up, dry his tears, stuff back down his pain. One thought is what made him polace one foot in front of the other and start on his way back. If he left... others would suffer. Vindaria would wait for the lost soul that never returned, and if he knew her, she would blame herself. Scar couldn't let that happen. He kept his gaze glued to the ground as he walked back, his steps stumbling, every part of his body hurting, although his mind hurt the most. Going into the camp, into the place he called home but never really felt it, seeing Vindaria rushing around inside the med den... he knew. he knew he made the right decision. Scar went back to the med den, back inside, and laid back down, not able to stand any longer, too worn and ragged to do anything else.

Scarred Thorn

Alpha Male

Scar was completely drained, out of energy, and in pain. He never wanted to let anyone see how he looked, but he couldn't keep his eye closed forever... not that opening it would make any difference. As Vindaria spoke he lifted his head just slightly, still not meeting her gaze. "I won't need poppyseed to rest and not feel anything." He answered quietly, and his words were very true. It was taking the last of his willpower to stay awake. The edges of his vision were turning black, there was ringing in his ears, and he was dizzy. He was going to drop out soon... he just hope he'd wake up. Scar turned his head slightly as he heard a voice, quickly recognizing it as Iris's, but he was glad the female didn't come in. He didn't want anyone else in here. He wanted never to be seen again, but that wasn't going to happen. "I know you're wondering.. or worrying... whatever you want to say. I'm blind in that eye. And it doesn't look good." Scar spoke, at almost a whisper, after Iris had left to either get cobwebs or just... leave. He couldn't even bring himself to open his eye. He couldn't bring himself to move anymore. "I'll... wake up.. soon. Don't worry." He mumbled, knowing he;d better warn her before he completely passed out. Lowering his head, the blackness crept in, slowly at first, then rushed in, the whole world going inky black.

It was daytime the next day before Scar woke up. First, shallow ringing in his ears started, then pain throbbed through his body in waves, which really was the thing that pushed him to open his eyes. Quickly shock and terror set in as he realized he couldn't see at all out of his left eye, but then he remembered what had happened. He winced in pain as he lifted his head. Everything ached. And hurt. And just was painful in general.

Scarred Thorn

Alpha Male

Scar tried not to blink, the pain in his eye throbbing, but surpringly... everything else felt better. And he was awake, which was a plus. He was also thinking clearly, and he wasn't dizzy... so maybe he could stand. One try sent a groan racking his body. Nope, that hurt. Scar glanced his his wounds with his one working eye, seeing everything had been patched up well, and pretty much piles of bloodied moss lay in a corner. +Darn Vindaria probably stayed up all night... I hope she's resting now+ He thought with a pang of guilt. Why did he have to cause so much trouble? Maybe he should've just left. Scar shook his head, even though it hurt- he would NOT allow himself to think like that. Tucking his tail in closer, he looked around, getting a bearing of exactly where he was and remembering the past events. He let out a quiet sigh, focusing hard on the ground in front of him and trying in vein to see... even though he knew he would never be able to. Scar suddenly remembered what his eye looked like. He was thankful no one was there to see it. However, it wouldn't stay that way for long, because he wasn't going to hide it. Scar lowered his head a little, not really knowing what to think. Should he be angry at himself for jumping into the turmoil and causing Vinda all this work? Or should he be mad at himself for not being more careful? Or should he just accept the fact that he was never going to see again and would have a permanent limp? He sighed again, his chest aching.

Scarred Thorn

Alpha Male

Scar let out another slow breath, slowly regaining his concentration and fully waking up. His ears lifted slightly as he heard a shuffle outside, but nothing else after that. He wanted to look at his reflection again, see if it had gotten better, but he also didn't want to see it again.. and he knew it hadn't. The image was seared into his mind. The milky white eye with a darker blue pupil, and the wound on one side of the eye, then the other. The weird thing.. the wound didn't run right through, so at least it wasn't completely and totally horrible to look at. It was still horrible though. Scar took in a sharp breath as he heard a voice, flinching, his ears flying up. "Vindaria? I'm awake, you don't have to stand outside." He said, recognizing the tenative-yet-somehow-bold-and-stubborn voice. Tendrils of cold fear started twirling around his heart again. How would she react? Knowing her, probably just a change in her eyes... nothing else. However, Scar was going to watch. He wanted to actually know what she felt, not what she wanted him to see.

Scarred Thorn

Alpha Male

Scar did not sit up, mostly because for once he did think about how much it would hurt, but also because Vinda spent all that time patching him up and he didn't want to undo all that. He kept his head lifted however, carefully studying her expression as she walked in. Of course, her gaze was immediately drawn to his eye, but it was weird what emotions filtered through next. Relief? RELIEF!? Why relief? And grief. And guilt. +STOP IT WITH THE GUILT+ he thought grumpily. No pity. That was good. Scar stopped paying as much attention when her gaze turned to his whole face again. Of course, as he expected, she didn't SEEM to really care... but that might be a fake. however, she was doing a good job at it, and honestly, she seemed fine. "Silly question indeed." Scar snorted, the mere movement sending a bolt of pain through him. "Probably the wound on my flank. Please don't tell me you stayed up a long time to patch my wounds up... half blind I can still see you are injured, and that you didn't treat it. i don't want you wasting a huge amount of herbs and more time on me." He stated, managing to look even more defiant than normal. "This is an order. You will treat your own wound before you REPLACE my bandages. I will be just dandy sitting here for 5 more minutes. Although it doesn't smell infected, it would still be smart to clean it up." He instructed.