(they just seemed to fit xD I snicker every time I type their names lol)

Lieutenant Dwyer

"No it's not, they're not going to remember the epic tale of Sir Brown Bitey and Mister Big Batterer. Who's going to write songs about the fish and us?" Glory said, then frowned slightly. "Yes, I named the fish." She grumbled while Leo grabbed his beer, then followed him out the door. "Nope, not nearly as much fun, though for the record I wouldn't have hit you with a chair," She said, chuckling. "That implies they had any strategy to begin with." She looked over her shoulder at the chaos they caused, and saw an epic warzone; groaning bar patrons scattered about, broken tables, chairs, a few broken bottles, and right in the middle, Sir Brown Bitey and Mister Big Batterer sat like trophies amidst the destruction. She turned back to Leo and said, "I'm not even going to argue that; I did suggest a fishy bar fight. Don't worry, since you agreed to this, you're off the hook; that's all three promises done."

I can't even- somehow it was even funnier this time around

12 minutes wasted on wheezing and searching for breath xD))

-

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo stared at her, not able to even understand the words she just said. He tried so hard to process it, and it just didn't go through. However, when she explained those words... he burst out in a fit of laughter, almost doubling over. "Sir.... s- b- br- Sir Brown b- Sir Brown Bitey and Mis- Mister Big Batterer? THATS what you named the fish!?" He wheezed, sitting down for a second and cradling his head in his hands. He was never getting over this one. "You are now in charge of naming everything I will ever own-" He was still snorting with laughter in between the words. "I'll drink to those names-" He raised his bottle with a grin. "And for that, I will literally suffer through music classes just so I can write the best song ever." After finally getting his breath back, checking to make sure his lungs were still intact, and apologizing to his ribs, he pushed himself back up. "Well thanks, I'm glad YOU wouldn't hit me with a chair." He grumbled, working his jaw back and forth with a wince. "Crude weapon. And I am REALLY glad that guy was drunk, otherwise I might be blind and have a broken jaw." He huffed, then snorted. His gaze trailed back as hers did, slowly working its way over the epic chaos of everything insane and chaotic. "Wow. And to think, you got away unscathed and just half of my face looks like a zombie. Victory!" He rolled his eyes, taking half a second to duck back in the door and grab a paper towel before starting the walk back out of town, wiping the blood off his face. "Off the hook? Already? Well, this feels amazing. I want it to end. As soon as we have a spare second, I challenge you to 1) An ultimate roast battle, and 2) A battle with no killing. Cause I don't want to die. Ahh, the familiar weight of promises I can totally keep. Much better." He joked with a wide grin, but honestly, he didn't care whether it happened in 20 years or in 3 seconds- it was something to look forward to.

xD

Lieutenant Dwyer

Glory couldn't help but laugh with him, she'd been calling them that in her head for a while, but to hear it out loud was waayyy funnier. "Yes! It fits them, doesn't it?" She choked out, almost wheezing. "Oh good, you'll end up with a sword called 'The Poultry Punisher'," She said, laughing at her own dumb ideas.

"Oh good, because Sir Brown Bitey and Mister Big Batterer need to be remembered for generations!" She said as he stood. "Hmm, no, we can't have that. Otherwise, you'd be a lot easier to fight, and we wouldn't be able to start any more fish fights. Actually, I don't think either of us will ever be allowed back in there," She joked, though it was true, unless the owner wanted to hold regular fish fights.

"I'm telling you, it's the power of the fish. You shouldn't have let Mister Big Batterer go, you'd be fine if you still had him," She teased, then watched him as he disappeared back inside, hoping nobody would get too upset, considering he did contribute to the damage a fair bit.

"I accept both challenges and look forward to a shot at redemption," She said with a grin, following him down the roads. It was about time she actually paid attention to where they went, but for once Glory didn't think it was totally necessary.

General Anubis

AKA: Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo rubbed a hand over the normal looking side of his face, repressing more laughter. "Yes. Yes it doe-" He stopped at her next words, his eyes almost bulging out of his head as he attempted for about a millisecond not to laugh, then he was wheezing in pain and amusement again. "The poultry punisher? What happened in that brain of yours?" He asked with another laugh, then mentally made a note to actually make a song about the fish. "Correct. We can't have that. And I bet the bartender will quit after this, which means we'll be able to cause this all over again!" He replied with a joking tone, grinning. "I would NOT have been fine, I would've died of stink." He rolled his eyes, then smirked. "Your shot at redemption is granted whenever you like, m'lady." He grinned, sauntering back down the long path. They were soon at the lake, then he paused, not really wanting to go down the path that would take them back to the campus. He didn't want to go back. This had been the most fun he had in a while, and it was all going to end as soon as they got back. He'd have to change back into the jeans and flannel shirt, cause he looked like an idiot now, and he would have to act like he had a brain. Both things he didn't like. Plus, Glory would probably leave, and then he'd be bored and lonely. That would suck, too. Heaving a huffy sigh, he glared at the ground, trying to decide what to do.

Lieutenant Dwyer

"Nothing happened, I'm just full of great ideas!" Glory said, trying to be serious long enough to actually focus. "Even if he does quit, they'll have Wanted posters of us now," She joked, grinning at the thought of wanted posters when the only witnesses were drunk. "Well, you should've thought of that before agreeing to my insanity," She lilted with a smirk. "Oh, how kind you, good sir," She said, following him down the path toward the lake. She raised one eyebrow at Leo and asked, "You wanna tell the families of the deceased that Sir Brown Bitey and Mister Big Batterer were tragically killed in a bar fight but were still victorious?" She was glad that he chose to come here instead of straight back to campus, regardless of his reasons. Maybe she would try to find fish that looked like the aforementioned heroes to tell of their valiant efforts, Glory thought with a grin.

(that is the BEST way to break the 4th wall I've seen😂poetic)

Lieutenant Dwyer

"Craptain Jack Spare-ribs? Where'd you come up with that one?" Glory asked with a smirk. "Oh yeah, that'd make one hell of a poster, though I think we need a picture of you getting hit with that chair instead," She lilted, grinning. She was going to ask about his middle name, but he looked like he was mentally kicking himself for mentioning it, so Glory ignored it. She did, however, choose to fill to gap in his knowledge, "My middle name's actually O'Brienn, so now your imaginary wanted posters can be complete." She laughed at his next comment, and said, "I don't know, hopefully to version of you that doesn't regularly get beat with chairs." Glory lowered her head out of respect for Sir Brown Bitey and Mister Big Batterer as Leo pronounced them dead to their fishy families. When he finished, she looked back up at him and asked, "Okay, their families are probably doing some fish-grieving now, but I can't imagine that you're just dying to rush back to campus and announce that you started a bar fight -with my help of course- so what's the plan?"

General Anubis

Craptain Jack Spare-Ribs

+++

Leo shook his head slowly. "No idea. Pulled it from the crevices of my mind." He answered, then grinned, then scowled, all in a couple seconds. "No! That sounds like the most undignified poster ever! What would it say then, 'the hulk and his partner in clown work gets smacked in the face by a chair while stinking up a saloon'?" He huffed, rolling his eyes. He was thoroughly surprised when she DIDNT ask about his middle name- again, he underestimated her. He expected to be made fun of to no abounds. Only God knew what kind of a middle name 'Zephyr' was. At her words, his face froze, then twitched, like he was having a miniature seizure. "I- you can make fun of me for my middle name, so I'm allowed to say this. O'Brienn sounds a LOT like 'Oh- right I am'" He finally broke down in snorting laughs. "Even your name portrays what you think of yourself." He teased with a wide grin, then rolled his eyes again. "Ahh shush." Leo huffed, falling silent for a couple seconds in respect before moving on. "You're right, I'm not really in a hurry to rush back. And not JUST with your help- you were the brains behind the plan." He joked, then paused. "Did you just ask me what we should do? I have no clue!"

Lieutenant Dwyer

Glory snorted, then replied, "Exactly! Since when were you dignified, wearing blue with yellow flowers? And why am I the 'partner in clown?' You were the accomplice!" She made a face at his next comment, asking, "Wait, did you expect me to make fun of your middle name? Y'know, something you have zero control over, since I'm 80% sure you didn't choose it...? Though I must agree, I am usually right." She grinned, and retorted, "No, I don't really shush, thanks," Followed by, "I did, though I'm not entirely sure why, given your luck when it comes to thinking."