Anya listened to him talk with slightly furrowed brows. She thought it'd be better to get this out the way before doing anything else... and she wanted him to have someone to talk to about it. Once she left, there might not be anyone else he could let it out to, and that thought worried her. She tilted her head at him slightly before frowing. Was being numb better than hurting? She wouldn't know. But she was happy to take on whatever he was feeling as long as it helped. "You're numb?" She asked quietly, her head slightly cocked. "What does feel like?" She wanted to know. She wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling, as long as she could help him in the slightest. There was no way she was going to leave him without letting him vent just a little... so why not do it now?

He shrugged and frowned. "It feels like nothing. There's fog over my head and I can't get out of it. I've just been sitting around doing absolutely nothing thinking about dying." He scowled slightly and shook his head. "Is going numb even really possible or did my brain just reach it's limit and shut down?" He didn't know the answer to that question. And he didn't know if it would ever get better. If he died, it wouldn't get better. Unless it was fixed when he died. "I wonder if your conscious after death. Wherever you go," he murmured. "Is it better than here? I mean, I'd be going to whatever place is for the bad people. But it can't be worse than this, can it?"

Anya raised a brow at him, kicking a small stone as she walked, trying to ignore the first bit about him thinking about nothing but death. "I don't know what happens when you die. I don't think you go anywhere though... maybe it just goes black..." the girl was a little curious as to why his mind would even wonder that far, but tried not to question it. "I suppose it'd be boring... if you even have a consciousness at that point," she she shrugged slightly. Her mind had swirled back to what he had previously said, about dying. It had caused her worry pursed her lips slightly before pausing and quietly grabbing a hold of his wrist to stop him walking and locked eyes with him. "Thats it, though? You've just been thinking about it, right? Nothing else?" She asked firmly, almost as though he wasn't asking a question. She didn't look away, not once, and her soft tone had switched to becoming more serious.

Sage glanced down at her holding his wrist and then looked up and locked eyes with her. He was silent for a moment before huffing out a breath. "Does it matter?" He scowled slightly, jaw clenching and unclenching. "whether I die tonight or farther along in the like five years I'll ever manage down here, it doesn't matter." He was being a bit blunt, but it was the truth. It didn't matter to him. All that would happen was him either dying soon and being at peace rather than starving here for another five years. When he looked at it, it wasn't very much of a choice. "I'm like a candle Anya. I'm burnt out," he whispered, breaking eye contact and staring at the ground.

Anya stared at him for a moment, not quite sure what to say. She didn't know what she expected when she asked, but certainly him unloading the fact that he'd rather die than live on. She knew that life in the slums was bad, and that it would be harder without Lizzie driving him on, but she had never expected him to actually want to die. "So what? You were going to fight through tonight and then go get yourself killed?" She almost sounded angry. She wasn't not really, more concerned. He might not have long left the way it was, but she had expected him to want to make the most of the little time he had left. There was nothing she could do, and that was the bit that angered her. It was the last bit though, that broke her a little. About being all burnt out. He had been fighting for his life for so long, and now it seemed like he was done with it. Her voice wavered a little as she spoke. "You can't really mean that," she murmured softly, her harsh tone dimming down a littlr.

Sage scowled and lifted his head to stare her in the eyes again. "I don't have a life left here," he snapped. "I'm dead in every way but physical." It's really how he felt. He had kept going for Liz, but she was gone now. All he had left was his dad, and he wanted nothing to do with him. And while he wanted to die, letting his dad get to him was not part of his plan. His dad could go do as he pleased, but sage wasn't going to let his dad kill him. He was the only one who would not get to hurt him. He briefly wondered how they had gone from joking around to arguing so quickly.

Anya felt her heart drop a little when he snapped at her and quietly dropped hold of his wrist as her only response. She dropped her eyes to the ground again. She knew she had started this... but she didn't know how to make it stop. She wanted him to open up to her and he had, but now she didn't know what to do. Her way of thinking was selfish. If he died, she wouldn't get to see him again, even though she had convinced herself she wouldn't see him after this anyway. He wouldn't be there to be her escape... and by now, she couldn't wrap her head around the idea of him not being there. But he was so miserable... and he had been when they first met too. She wondered if it had ever stopped weighing on him. "I'm sorry," she breathed, not knowing what else to say.

Sage sighed and ran his head through his hair slowly. "It's not your fault," he murmured. "Sorry I yelled. I didn't mean to I just..." He trailed off, not really sure what to say. He knew she had wanted to know what was wrong, how he felt. But she couldn't have really guessed this. No way she could have. "Just enjoy the rest of the night, alright? Don't think about it too much or it'll drive you mad. Nothing's decided yet. Death's kind of a cowards move, but I'm so tired, Anya." He was tired, though not in a i-want-to-sleep type of tired. He was tired of living like this, if you could really call it living. It was more of a slow death. He was tired of fighting for his life every second he was here.

The girl gave a soft nod, closing her eyes for a moment. How the hell was she meant to not think about it? He had just said he didn't want to live anymore. There was no way she could have guessed he would say that. And there wasn't a chance she would be able to relax again. She glanced up at him for a moment and swallowed a small lump in her throat. "I know... I should have kept quiet, but I can't just not think about it," she murmured before starting again in the direction they were heading. He was right. This was going to eat her up. But she brought it on herself by asking. She didn't want to see him go... and she hoped when the time came he would decide against it, but until then, she couldn't do anything. She glanced back at him as she walked, quietly biting her lip. "Have you ever been... I don't know, happy." That was a question. Or, she wanted it to be. And she wasn't just talking about when he was with her but in his whole life. She let out a small sigh, trying not to look back at him again. She could try and give him a good night, one to remember as she had said, but now it might be a little harder.

Sage started walking next to her again and pondered her question silently for a bit. "I don't know." He looked up at the stars and shook his head. "I've been less stressed or worried here and there, but I could never afford to completely relax and let myself get off guard. It's all been tough skin and hard nails with me. I never really learned the things a lot of kids you'd see get to do. It's the opposite. I saw things that messed me up, now and as a kid, and I've done things that have messed me up too." He shrugged and looked back down to see where he was going. "I told you I'm terrified of my feelings before, but it's really what comes out of them. I mean, you've seen what happens to people when I get mad. And it seems like I'm a walking death trap to anyone I even remotely like, let alone love." He was pretty much just babbling at this point, wishing he could answer her question better, but he couldn't. How was he supposed to answer if he didn't really know what happiness was supposed to feel like? "I've been not hurting for moments here and there. I guess that counts as happiness for me."