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"What...do you mean?" She asked, arms crossed nervously
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"It's just...there's something like, not clicking? Because it's either i'm not saying something or you're not saying something." I explained, meeting her gaze for a moment before pulling it away, dragging a hand down my face. "Sorry I don't even know why I started this conversation," I muttered
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"No, babe, what do you mean? Do you not...love me anymore?"
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"Hell no! That is not what i'm saying, at all. I love you----goddamnit I fucking love you like a madman, Emily. That is one thing I will never not do, love." My voice was just about to shred raw, filled with a lot more than I wanted to say.
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She stared, wide-eyed. "Okay...Dinner's on the table. Your favorite" She said quietly
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"Thank you but, I have some work I need to catch up to." I murmured, not leaving room for opinions as I stood, walking to my study before slipping the door shut behind me, sighing as I sat in my desk chair, elbows on my knees as I dragged my hands down my face, wondering if i'd just ruined it all.
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She didn't nod or respond, just put his plate in the fridge in case he wanted it later. She sat down and ate before doing dishes and going to take a shower
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"What the flying fuck is going on.." I muttered, leaning back as I threw a baseball in the air before catching it over and over, something I did when I was bored in the room. I fucked it up, it was over, that's it. I'm absolutely, utterly, fried. Dead, over, nothing left. Why hadn't I kept my damn mouth shut, things would still be perfectly fine, right?
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Emily went to knock on Caden's study and say goodnight but thought against it halfway there. She turned around and headed to bed
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Eventually sleep overtook me, and I drifted off with my arms crossed atop my desk, my head plopped on top.
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