As Aubron and I danced to and fro, we sporadically exchanged a few words here and there. I had let the curiosity get the better of me, so the majority of my questions had revolved around Goras; he, Goras himself, did not have to be aware of this.. nor did I want him to be. I didn`t want him to see my true feelings so soon, even if he basically had already. There was always a difference between seeing one`s emotions and feelings towards you and hearing it from them without the worry of misreading them. Fortunately, Aubron was willing to answer most of my questions and they had helped me understand Goras better, even if iust slightly more; my questions had not been personal whatsoever, knowing those were meant to be asked in private. Besides, there could easily be things Goras never wanted me to know and, although the thought hurt a little, it was the reality of things.

I smiled when I saw Goras walking over, the sight of the slap mark on his chin making me a little concerned. However, the expression written across Vulwin`s face told me everythinf I needed to know. The two of us followed him back to the table where the others were. I was hesitant once again, but they seemed more at peace and comfortable now, so I used that observation to muster the courage to return to my seat. Although I was having quite a lot of fun, I was still incredibly troubled; the dance had been an amazing distraction from it. I knew there was something wrong with me physically and that it was negatively affecting the magic writhing within me, all of it screaming potential disaster. Briefly, a frown shifted onto my face before I refocused on the men around me. I really admired the way they seemed to care for each other, their laughter and hearty pats warming my heart. When I watched them, I could easily tell how close all of them were; I felt the same way with Tyrine and Estelle, both of them basically sisters to me.

For once, I decided to truly relax and shoved down all the expectations that I held myself to as someone with royal blood in my veins. I propped my chin with a slightly clenched fist, my elbow resting on the edge of the table. My silver hair was like a curtain, blocking my peripheral vision that had kept Goras and Aubron in my sights. I wasn`t too hungry at the moment, but I had a small hunch Goras would not appreciate it if I ended up not eating anything. I was sick and needed as much nutrients I could get, after all. A sigh escaped me as I tried to ignore the headache that still ran rampant in my skull, picking slowly at my food once everyone started dining in. Naturally, I was a slow eater, but it was rather obvious that I was eating unnaturally slow. Of course, I expected no one to notice it and I preferred it that way.

I was fixated on trying my best not to make it too obvious that I still felt incredibly ill, this stupid fever truly testing my limits. If there was a solition for it, I really would have leapt at the opportunity to find it the moment it arose with one exception.. Regardless, I endeavored my utmost best to get at least a small amount of food in my system to avoid making it painfully obvious that I wasn`t feeling well. I stiffened when I felt Goras brush a hand through my hair again, grazing my skin and undoubtedly feeling how warm I was to the touch. I could tell he was worried and I felt a little guilty since I was ruining the blissful moments that were surrounding us, but I knew now wasn`t the time.

In response to his question, I managed to nod as I set down the utensil I had bene using with a soft thud. I really, really hated how weak and vulnerable I felt at the moment, the headache having grown worse enough to hinder my vision slightly. I felt so weak that I figured speaking would have been stupid to try to do, my throat feeling slightly hoarse and strained already; this did not prevent me from speaking later on. Perhaps coming here had not been the best idea, even if I truly dreaded the idea of leaving them. Even though it had been a rocky start, I really liked the three brothers that Goras had and their interactions and friendship. However, it really was Goras that truly mattered the most to me at the end of the day.

``Rest sounds nice,`` I whispered quietly, the vulnerability in my voice meant for him and him alone. I looked up at him and tried to give him a reassuring smile, even if I could tell he was worrying quite a bit. I believed that rest wouldn`t help much, which I would learn later on, but I wanted to give it a try at the very least. Momentarily, I wondered if the others had picked up on what our relationship was, even if we didn`t understand or truly accept it ourselves. A part of me wanted to ask him to come with me, but I knew that was downright stupid; even if he had paid for the woman to keep quiet, that wouldn`t prevent others from spreading the information that I was with him.

I was grateful for his help and took his hand gently, using it a little as leverage to stand up from the table. I was silent the entire time since I refused to be so vulnerable out in the open; the only person I was comfortable letting my walls crumble to the ground for was Goras and no one else. Truth be told, I was surprised he was willing to pick me up and carry me, yet here he was. I truly felt honored by the gesture, relaxing into his hold and sighing betwen my lips. Nothing could compare to the emotions he was envoking deep within me, the sheer intensity of it all incredibly foreign yet welcome. I folded my arms across my chest as he placed me down, my gaze flitting towards Aubron as he left the room.

``Absolutely terrible,`` I mumbled beneath my breath as I met his gaze, the fire not doing much to scare away the frigid cold. A frown was plastered across my face as I contemplated the best way to explain what was going on, contemplating quietly for a few moments. The headache was becoming unbearable and it was borderline making me nauseous while the sporadic chills that shot down my spine were nuisances that I wanted to go away. ``My head hurts and I just.. I feel like shit.``

My frown deepend when he brought up the suggestion of taking me back to the tower, the mere idea of it upsetting me further. I wished he would simply come to terms with the fact that I wanted to be right here, with him and maybe even his brothers; they had actually grown on me, to be honest, and I did enjoy being around them even though things had been incredibly rocky at the beginning. I stiffened when he abruptly stood and began to pace, his worry and uncertainty palpable in basically every way and every form. It was making me feel guilty for everything I had done thus far, wondering if he had simply brought me here to have a break from my constant pleas and attempts at persuasion. What if he actually did not want me here? What if he was faking all of this? Since he was an assassin, it was entirely possible for this to be the case, so it was not too absurd for me to resort to such dark thoughts. My eyes lowered to the ground as he continued to walk back and forth, my hands clenching into fists slightly as I tried to fend off the conflicting thoughts that had randomly appeared.

I felt a little reassured when he proposed for the Inn Keeper to check on me instead of going to the tower itself, leading me to nod and feel relieved. I noticed how he settled beside me and reached out slowly, hesitantly; I realized he was scared of overstepping because of what had happened the last time we had been this close. Right then and there, I wanted to admit that I wanted him to simply stay with me for as long as he would allow and for him to show any sign that maybe.. just maybe he wanted more just like I did. Of course, all of this had been a result of emotions that had appeared out of thin air, yet they were real emotions nonetheless. I let him caress and touch my face as he pleased, leaning a little into his touch. I knew I needed to address whatever was unfolding between us, but I didn`t know how to put it into words. Roughly, I knew what I wanted to do action-wise, but I desperately lacked experience when it came to these kinds of relationships. Eventually, I settled on simply shifting closer and leaning against him, resting the side of my face on his shoulder and whispering, ``Fine.. but as long as I don`t have to go back to that stupid tower.``