Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 199   Season: Summer   
$: 0
Forecast: Morning Drizzle, but Clearing later
Forecast:
Wed 07:28am  
Stables Online:  87 
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Shamrock Equines
07:27:24 Crowley
Halo
I found brits on Facebook that came to MI in the end of last month and the beginning of this month. They couldn't stand this cold lol
Craic Magic Stables
07:25:16 
oh gosh, i feel for you, its rather sunny where i live at the moment though, wont last, meant to rain tonight again, the fields are trashed
Peace
07:23:21 Halo / Peace
Craic


Yes, yes it has. I had to ride my e-scooter 5 miles in it everyday last week to get to work. lol
Calela Eventing
07:22:54 Cali
We did get a level 5 weather warning 2 days ago though and the school flooded but it was still bloody hot
Peace
07:22:11 Halo / Peace
Cali

Please take it haha. I need warmth and feel like a lizard in the arctic.
Craic Magic Stables
07:21:30 
its rained somewhere in the UK every day so far in 2026, having horses in winter, is making me regret my decision to have horses
DearBorn Ranch
07:21:14 Louise
without moisture summer is miserable
Calela Eventing
07:20:53 Cali
Halo
Oh i'll take your cold! Its been 100F+ for the last 4 months
Peace
07:16:03 Halo / Peace
Why does it have to be raining and cold D: I cannot wait for summer.
Breadcrumbs
07:14:31 
Ohhhh he leveled all!
-HEE Click-
Sweet Valley
07:12:52 Anna/Jewel
-HEE Click-
sooo pretty!
Shamrock Equines
07:03:35 Crowley
I'm back.
Minerva
06:41:45 Min
Ive started listening to the PMQs on a Wednesday lunchtime and omfg Kier Starmer is getting roasted on a spit 🤣🤣
Rubygem-Chenya
06:40:25 Ruby/Cheshire
Anyways bye
Embervale Acres
06:36:45 Solar Phoenix
Not if they hadn't placed
Rubygem-Chenya
06:35:46 Ruby/Cheshire
Palette not palle
Craic Magic Stables
06:35:46 
if a horse has performed bad in 2 shows already this week, would you put them in for a 3rd? or not bother?
Rubygem-Chenya
06:35:04 Ruby/Cheshire
Oo I just changed my palle palette to the morden free one and I kinda like it.
Rubygem-Chenya
06:33:04 Ruby/Cheshire
Got not for

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Shamrock Equines
07:27:24 Crowley
Halo
I found brits on Facebook that came to MI in the end of last month and the beginning of this month. They couldn't stand this cold lol
Craic Magic Stables
07:25:16 
oh gosh, i feel for you, its rather sunny where i live at the moment though, wont last, meant to rain tonight again, the fields are trashed
Peace
07:23:21 Halo / Peace
Craic


Yes, yes it has. I had to ride my e-scooter 5 miles in it everyday last week to get to work. lol
Calela Eventing
07:22:54 Cali
We did get a level 5 weather warning 2 days ago though and the school flooded but it was still bloody hot
Peace
07:22:11 Halo / Peace
Cali

Please take it haha. I need warmth and feel like a lizard in the arctic.
Craic Magic Stables
07:21:30 
its rained somewhere in the UK every day so far in 2026, having horses in winter, is making me regret my decision to have horses
DearBorn Ranch
07:21:14 Louise
without moisture summer is miserable
Calela Eventing
07:20:53 Cali
Halo
Oh i'll take your cold! Its been 100F+ for the last 4 months
Peace
07:16:03 Halo / Peace
Why does it have to be raining and cold D: I cannot wait for summer.
Breadcrumbs
07:14:31 
Ohhhh he leveled all!
-HEE Click-
Sweet Valley
07:12:52 Anna/Jewel
-HEE Click-
sooo pretty!
Shamrock Equines
07:03:35 Crowley
I'm back.
Minerva
06:41:45 Min
Ive started listening to the PMQs on a Wednesday lunchtime and omfg Kier Starmer is getting roasted on a spit 🤣🤣
Rubygem-Chenya
06:40:25 Ruby/Cheshire
Anyways bye
Embervale Acres
06:36:45 Solar Phoenix
Not if they hadn't placed
Rubygem-Chenya
06:35:46 Ruby/Cheshire
Palette not palle
Craic Magic Stables
06:35:46 
if a horse has performed bad in 2 shows already this week, would you put them in for a 3rd? or not bother?
Rubygem-Chenya
06:35:04 Ruby/Cheshire
Oo I just changed my palle palette to the morden free one and I kinda like it.
Rubygem-Chenya
06:33:04 Ruby/Cheshire
Got not for

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Elnìa Vovelrí feel free to post October 5, 2019 11:44 AM

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Prologue

An eerie howling of a wolf broke the silence in the dark forest. Footsteps. A swift, smooth stride he measured. A silver haired Elf came into view. She didn’t notice him, not yet. He hissed and his snake tongue slid out. He leapt from his outpost in the tree and drew his sword. The female elf drew her sword too, and they circled each other on the path.

“Why don’t you strike?” A mocking voice joined them. The elf looked up, and saw a Elf-eared person. But she wasn’t an elf. She had black hair and glowing purple eyes, making her a Devilress. The elf muttered something under her breath and a blue ray shot out of her palm. It exploded and both others fell to the ground. The Devilress muttered some ineligible and they both recovered.
The snake-tongued person hissed in anger.

“I won’t strike because I need her.” He said.

The elf cursed under her breath and placed her hand on her sword.

“So, Shade, elf, here we meet again.” The Devilress sneered.

The three attacked each other ferociously, each gaining and losing ground. The elf dropped her sword and the shade advanced, but she drew an arrow aimed at his heart. The Devilress drew two boomerang made of metal with inscriptions on it. She threw them and hit the elf’s bow, causing her aim to falter. The shade dissolved into smoke and disappeared into thin air.

The elf turned on the Devilress. “I could’ve killed him! And you jolted me. What do you want?”

“I want the scroll.” She said it with ease, savouring every word.

The elf’s eyes widened with fear. The Devilress murmured some more words, but quickly the elf shouted, “Elnìa Vovelrí!” And a flash of light blinded them and the scroll disappeared just before the elf collapsed on the ground.



Edited at October 6, 2019 05:11 AM by The wilderness
Elnìa Vovelrí feel free to post October 6, 2019 10:16 AM

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It’s a good start. I like your tone, but you need to slow your pacing down. Take more time to describe what’s happening and to set the scene. For example I might change the first few moments to be:


An eerie howling of a wolf broke the silence in the dark forest. Footsteps. Silent and swift, a dark shape moved in the shadows of the trees. Watching, stalking. His pace was smooth, his stride measured. A silver haired Elf came into view. She didn’t notice him, not yet. He hissed and a long tongue slid from his jaws, flickering like a serpent. He leapt from his hiding place within the trees and drew a glistening silver shortsword. It gave him away.
The sheen of his blade caught the elf’s gaze. She drew her sword too and their blades clashed as she caught it before it could slash at her exposed neck. The strange creature leapt back and the two began to circle each other on the narrow dark path.

Edited at October 6, 2019 10:17 AM by Alvarron
Elnìa Vovelrí feel free to post October 6, 2019 10:18 AM

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Yeah I was rushed. :(
Elnìa Vovelrí feel free to post October 6, 2019 10:18 AM

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IÂ’m on my phone so I canÂ’t do apostrophes. I would add even more detail then what I did, like describe the shade a bit more. The only distinguishing feature about him is his serpentine tongue.

I have a degree in English, so if you want or need any help just let me know! IÂ’d be glad to help.
Elnìa Vovelrí feel free to post October 6, 2019 11:18 AM

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I specialise in English. I did it for GCSE and degrees.
Elnìa Vovelrí feel free to post October 6, 2019 01:38 PM

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Then never mind. Haha.
Elnìa Vovelrí feel free to post October 6, 2019 01:41 PM

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#460317
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Ok thanks

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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