Trinity Equine said:

~ It Was Lost ~

It's funny how loosing someone or something can change your life so drastically. Suddenly all these emotions you weren't aware of surface and you aren't quite sure how to deal with them. You feel fear, hurt, an overwhelming sense of sadness and other various emotions such as anger all mixed up into one big emotion. It's more then any type of emotions you have ever felt before, it goes deep into the depths of your heart. It lasts for what seems to be forever and is almost constantly looming over you. You feel as if no one else could ever understand how you feel. Even after months or even years this emotion can still be there, poking at you whenever it feels like it. Many describe this emotion simply as sadness but I believe it's much more than that. Sadness is an emotion that can be easily understood. For instance, you did poorly on a test you wanted or needed to do well on and you feel sad about that. You might be a little disappointed in yourself but that is usually it. This emotion is so much more complex. And it can be triggered by multiple things.

I remember the first time I discovered this emotion. It was when I lost it. I didn't believe it at first. I tried to ignore all incoming emotions. I failed. In a few shorts moments tears streamed down my face. I couldn't help but cry despite not wanting to. I was never one to cry. Even as child, I might've cried a few times a year. However this was such an overwhelming feeling. I didn't leave the house for multiple days and refused to tell friends or family what had happened. I didn't talk to anyone for a month. I stopped eating. My friends seemed to understand I needed space. Or maybe they forgot about me. Either way they never contacted me to check up. I liked it that way though. I didn't want to talk to anyone since I was afraid that any interaction would trigger this horrible emotion is discovered. I lost it. Something I couldn't have, shouldn't have lost. Now that it was gone, so was I.

That's it for this bit :) let me know if you want me to continue :3