Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 202   Season: Summer   
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Tanglewood
09:38:54 Technically Tangle
If it makes you feel better, I've dropped upwards of 2 million on matches before only to get the wimpiest EEE you've seen in your life
River
09:33:25 ♡ River
And it was a decent LB stud too- curse you RF!
Zalia Equine
09:31:03 Traveller
River, that's usually how it goes!
River
09:29:16 ♡ River
I did it anyways and hoped for something nice, was a perfect match, each covered eachothers weaknessess, and I got an EEE and I'm 50k broker T-T
Blacknight Legend
09:29:14 Knightie
River I believe it's quarter horse crossed with RID or WB is Sporthorse or Irish sporthorse I might be wrong
Blacknight Legend
09:27:10 Knightie
-HEE Click-
Here ya go lyra my fave
River
09:26:34 ♡ River
Knightie
Darn it! I need anything else xD
Blacknight Legend
09:26:08 Knightie
River that's an appendix quarter horse
River
09:25:34 ♡ River
What does an AQH mare x TB stallion make?
Wild Island PONs
09:21:14 Ly/Lyra
golden bay, not copper .-.
Wild Island PONs
09:19:20 Ly/Lyra
my fav wild and copper bay foals
-HEE Click-

-HEE Click-
Deez Nuts Stables
09:16:29 hannah
Knightie
Wild bays are already gorgeous but that brindle tops it off
Blacknight Legend
09:15:11 Knightie
Thanks fang I'm hoping he rates well
Whitewolf
09:14:06 Fang 🐺
Knightie he is a cute one. Always love brindle
Blacknight Legend
09:13:22 Knightie
-HEE Click-
Finally a wild bay brindle
Deez Nuts Stables
09:11:03 hannah
Lol Gem that is gonna be you very soon
Whitewolf
09:11:00 Fang 🐺
Another medallion quest? I must have been good to deserve two in two days in a row
Deez Nuts Stables
09:10:40 hannah
Gem
Mmm I get that, hopefully he warms up soon XD

Traveller
Yeah, so my experience has taught me XD
Gemstone Stable
09:09:31 Snow❆Gem
LMAO

-Click-
Zalia Equine
09:08:52 Traveller
Hannah, but with their mouth, they could make a sailor blush XD

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Tanglewood
09:38:54 Technically Tangle
If it makes you feel better, I've dropped upwards of 2 million on matches before only to get the wimpiest EEE you've seen in your life
River
09:33:25 ♡ River
And it was a decent LB stud too- curse you RF!
Zalia Equine
09:31:03 Traveller
River, that's usually how it goes!
River
09:29:16 ♡ River
I did it anyways and hoped for something nice, was a perfect match, each covered eachothers weaknessess, and I got an EEE and I'm 50k broker T-T
Blacknight Legend
09:29:14 Knightie
River I believe it's quarter horse crossed with RID or WB is Sporthorse or Irish sporthorse I might be wrong
Blacknight Legend
09:27:10 Knightie
-HEE Click-
Here ya go lyra my fave
River
09:26:34 ♡ River
Knightie
Darn it! I need anything else xD
Blacknight Legend
09:26:08 Knightie
River that's an appendix quarter horse
River
09:25:34 ♡ River
What does an AQH mare x TB stallion make?
Wild Island PONs
09:21:14 Ly/Lyra
golden bay, not copper .-.
Wild Island PONs
09:19:20 Ly/Lyra
my fav wild and copper bay foals
-HEE Click-

-HEE Click-
Deez Nuts Stables
09:16:29 hannah
Knightie
Wild bays are already gorgeous but that brindle tops it off
Blacknight Legend
09:15:11 Knightie
Thanks fang I'm hoping he rates well
Whitewolf
09:14:06 Fang 🐺
Knightie he is a cute one. Always love brindle
Blacknight Legend
09:13:22 Knightie
-HEE Click-
Finally a wild bay brindle
Deez Nuts Stables
09:11:03 hannah
Lol Gem that is gonna be you very soon
Whitewolf
09:11:00 Fang 🐺
Another medallion quest? I must have been good to deserve two in two days in a row
Deez Nuts Stables
09:10:40 hannah
Gem
Mmm I get that, hopefully he warms up soon XD

Traveller
Yeah, so my experience has taught me XD
Gemstone Stable
09:09:31 Snow❆Gem
LMAO

-Click-
Zalia Equine
09:08:52 Traveller
Hannah, but with their mouth, they could make a sailor blush XD

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2    3 

Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:48 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1227946
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After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:51 PM


Wolf Dancer
 
Posts: 4126
#1227947
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Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


Me me me me!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:51 PM


Wolf Dancer
 
Posts: 4126
#1227948
Give Award

Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


Me me me me!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 08:48 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4070
#1227964
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I'd be interested! :)
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:01 PM

Autumn Coast Stables
 
Posts: 45
#1227974
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Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


I'd love to!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:03 PM


KPH Equestrian
 
Posts: 4422
#1227975
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me three! :D
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:17 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1227981
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I revised some on the document and only decided to add this little bit, it felt like the best. I really feel I should lengthen a lot of this because it feels too short, but I also tend to do a lot of description to make up for it so I don't want it to drone on haha. The second part isn't finished, it's just what I had written down so far and I'm really struggling with it. Also some dialouge help would be amazing!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 11:47 PM


Oakwood Barn
 
Posts: 1716
#1228037
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Caal, I love it so far! And I would love to help you write some dialogue when or if needed! You can just give me a basis of the character and the interaction and I'd be glad to help!
Also, for the first draft this is really great! I do recommend not revising though. I do it all the time (perfectionist lol) and it let's me never get it done. So, if you want to change somthing, since your in docs, add a comment to it, or highlight it or something so you know. And if you have the motivation to write a scene butdnt know how to get to it, skip! Don't loose that writing motivation!
Put something like,
(Epic battle scene)
and continue writing! (Also, you can clean up in the second draft)
Hope some of these help! I love the story so far!

Edited at July 10, 2024 11:48 PM by Oakwood Barn
Caals Writing a Book! July 11, 2024 09:31 AM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1228125
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Oakwood Barn said:
Caal, I love it so far! And I would love to help you write some dialogue when or if needed! You can just give me a basis of the character and the interaction and I'd be glad to help!
Also, for the first draft this is really great! I do recommend not revising though. I do it all the time (perfectionist lol) and it let's me never get it done. So, if you want to change somthing, since your in docs, add a comment to it, or highlight it or something so you know. And if you have the motivation to write a scene butdnt know how to get to it, skip! Don't loose that writing motivation!
Put something like,
(Epic battle scene)
and continue writing! (Also, you can clean up in the second draft)
Hope some of these help! I love the story so far!


Thank you! I'll defintely take you up on that at some point haha
Caals Writing a Book! July 12, 2024 07:32 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1228509
Give Award
Okay a little update. I'm starting Chapter Three! Starting is a really loose term, at the moment what is updated is just stupid ideas I've strung together. My current problem is it feels like it should be longer? Any ideas on how stretch it out and add in some length? How should I have them interact? It feels like I've got the idea, I just can't put them together in the right way.
***
Currently it feels like it's moving too fast, and I really want it to take time so I can show the kind of devastation and pain that comes with an event like that. I thought about drawing out her little fight, the detail on the walk through the outpost, etc, but I'm not sure with what. Today my writing feels drab, almost childlike and not anything like the authors I've been reading. Yes, it's loose like theirs, more like retelling a story, but it isn't quite flowing. It's rigid and I'm not sure how to break it up.

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