Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 192   Season: Spring   
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Forecast: Windy
Forecast:
Tue 09:35am  
Stables Online:  193 
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Lunalovegood
09:35:32 Loony/Loony Tune
KPH
Umm I got 2 Ws the rest where EEE or lower :(
Blue Diamond
09:35:31 Bluey
running on 4K over here 😭
Willow Wood Stable
09:35:16 Lo l Jo
Really shite so far
Bug in a Rug
09:35:01 Bug | Flea | KPH
loony
very rough😭
you?
Lunalovegood
09:33:58 Loony/Loony Tune
I’m back, how are you guys?
Rough RO?
*Winter Equines*
09:33:25 Winter/Snowball
-Click- - _- I hate this, I wish I would have been able to make something better
Hellion Ridge
09:31:42 Chiral | ToTo Chaser
-HEE Click-
:D
Willow Wood Stable
09:29:29 Lo l Jo
Your Tobi girl is super pretty Winter
*Winter Equines*
09:28:06 Winter/Snowball
At least the filly is pretty
*Winter Equines*
09:27:37 Winter/Snowball
Lo, I feel ya -HEE Click- -HEE Click-
Arvalon Studs
09:27:22 Tosk's KNN
All rerolls used up
Insignia Elites
09:27:22 Em
I feel like the more I try the worst the outcome lol
Bug in a Rug
09:27:15 Bug | Flea | KPH
ooh finally some good luck, Caesar's really pulling his weight so far👀
-HEE Click-
Alpine Acres
09:26:23 Lily
Kay
thank you so much!
Morningstar Training
09:26:06 Kay <3
Congratulation Lily! Hoping next RO I can snag a Worldclass
Willow Wood Stable
09:25:34 Lo l Jo
-HEE Click-

My main match... I'm pissed. At least she's silver, I guess.
Alpine Acres
09:25:07 Lily
Kay
she's a gem!! I bred my first EWE today so it's been a successful RO for me :D
Arvalon Studs
09:24:55 Tosk's KNN
-HEE Click-
Morningstar Training
09:23:59 Kay <3
Thank you Lily, I am very pleased with her. I have never bred anything like her so it was a nice surprise.
Arvalon Studs
09:23:55 Tosk's KNN
Another perfect reroll!

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Lunalovegood
09:35:32 Loony/Loony Tune
KPH
Umm I got 2 Ws the rest where EEE or lower :(
Blue Diamond
09:35:31 Bluey
running on 4K over here 😭
Willow Wood Stable
09:35:16 Lo l Jo
Really shite so far
Bug in a Rug
09:35:01 Bug | Flea | KPH
loony
very rough😭
you?
Lunalovegood
09:33:58 Loony/Loony Tune
I’m back, how are you guys?
Rough RO?
*Winter Equines*
09:33:25 Winter/Snowball
-Click- - _- I hate this, I wish I would have been able to make something better
Hellion Ridge
09:31:42 Chiral | ToTo Chaser
-HEE Click-
:D
Willow Wood Stable
09:29:29 Lo l Jo
Your Tobi girl is super pretty Winter
*Winter Equines*
09:28:06 Winter/Snowball
At least the filly is pretty
*Winter Equines*
09:27:37 Winter/Snowball
Lo, I feel ya -HEE Click- -HEE Click-
Arvalon Studs
09:27:22 Tosk's KNN
All rerolls used up
Insignia Elites
09:27:22 Em
I feel like the more I try the worst the outcome lol
Bug in a Rug
09:27:15 Bug | Flea | KPH
ooh finally some good luck, Caesar's really pulling his weight so far👀
-HEE Click-
Alpine Acres
09:26:23 Lily
Kay
thank you so much!
Morningstar Training
09:26:06 Kay <3
Congratulation Lily! Hoping next RO I can snag a Worldclass
Willow Wood Stable
09:25:34 Lo l Jo
-HEE Click-

My main match... I'm pissed. At least she's silver, I guess.
Alpine Acres
09:25:07 Lily
Kay
she's a gem!! I bred my first EWE today so it's been a successful RO for me :D
Arvalon Studs
09:24:55 Tosk's KNN
-HEE Click-
Morningstar Training
09:23:59 Kay <3
Thank you Lily, I am very pleased with her. I have never bred anything like her so it was a nice surprise.
Arvalon Studs
09:23:55 Tosk's KNN
Another perfect reroll!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:48 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1227946
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After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:51 PM


Wolf Dancer
  
Posts: 3716
#1227947
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Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


Me me me me!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:51 PM


Wolf Dancer
  
Posts: 3716
#1227948
Give Award

Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


Me me me me!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 08:48 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3827
#1227964
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I'd be interested! :)
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:01 PM

Autumn Coast Stables
 
Posts: 45
#1227974
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Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


I'd love to!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:03 PM


KPH Equestrian
 
Posts: 3239
#1227975
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me three! :D
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:17 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1227981
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I revised some on the document and only decided to add this little bit, it felt like the best. I really feel I should lengthen a lot of this because it feels too short, but I also tend to do a lot of description to make up for it so I don't want it to drone on haha. The second part isn't finished, it's just what I had written down so far and I'm really struggling with it. Also some dialouge help would be amazing!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 11:47 PM


Oakwood Barn
 
Posts: 1693
#1228037
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Caal, I love it so far! And I would love to help you write some dialogue when or if needed! You can just give me a basis of the character and the interaction and I'd be glad to help!
Also, for the first draft this is really great! I do recommend not revising though. I do it all the time (perfectionist lol) and it let's me never get it done. So, if you want to change somthing, since your in docs, add a comment to it, or highlight it or something so you know. And if you have the motivation to write a scene butdnt know how to get to it, skip! Don't loose that writing motivation!
Put something like,
(Epic battle scene)
and continue writing! (Also, you can clean up in the second draft)
Hope some of these help! I love the story so far!

Edited at July 10, 2024 11:48 PM by Oakwood Barn
Caals Writing a Book! July 11, 2024 09:31 AM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1228125
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Oakwood Barn said:
Caal, I love it so far! And I would love to help you write some dialogue when or if needed! You can just give me a basis of the character and the interaction and I'd be glad to help!
Also, for the first draft this is really great! I do recommend not revising though. I do it all the time (perfectionist lol) and it let's me never get it done. So, if you want to change somthing, since your in docs, add a comment to it, or highlight it or something so you know. And if you have the motivation to write a scene butdnt know how to get to it, skip! Don't loose that writing motivation!
Put something like,
(Epic battle scene)
and continue writing! (Also, you can clean up in the second draft)
Hope some of these help! I love the story so far!


Thank you! I'll defintely take you up on that at some point haha
Caals Writing a Book! July 12, 2024 07:32 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1228509
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Okay a little update. I'm starting Chapter Three! Starting is a really loose term, at the moment what is updated is just stupid ideas I've strung together. My current problem is it feels like it should be longer? Any ideas on how stretch it out and add in some length? How should I have them interact? It feels like I've got the idea, I just can't put them together in the right way.
***
Currently it feels like it's moving too fast, and I really want it to take time so I can show the kind of devastation and pain that comes with an event like that. I thought about drawing out her little fight, the detail on the walk through the outpost, etc, but I'm not sure with what. Today my writing feels drab, almost childlike and not anything like the authors I've been reading. Yes, it's loose like theirs, more like retelling a story, but it isn't quite flowing. It's rigid and I'm not sure how to break it up.

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