Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 193   Season: Winter   
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Pegasus Lane
08:25:33 Peggy (or) Peg
Omg these people have a very brave coyote. I've seen that bucket twice today
FirstLightFarms
08:24:20 puck
-Click-

Theme two about to start!
Angels angels
07:57:16 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I don't know what the second two are but I will attempt the first one
Sunni
07:56:11 Sunni bunny
My soul will leave my body.
Sunni
07:55:56 Sunni bunny
If I fail the first theme I'll be disappointed in myself.
FirstLightFarms
07:53:09 puck
Spirit, Kpop Demon Hunters, and the Silver Brumby :)
RFS Thoroughbreds
07:52:55 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
alright
Glacier Bay Cove
07:52:35 Arctic Katz
Sent you a PM, Fern, now running to the trivia room
Angels angels
07:51:11 [1k+ brindles] Angel
What are the themes
Sunni
07:50:50 Sunni bunny
I hope I do good in trivia I know a lot about the first theme haha.
I watched that movie so many times growing up.
FirstLightFarms
07:49:55 puck
Stay for one little theme? <3
Angels angels
07:49:26 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Trivia is always at the worst times for me lol either when I am at work or in class, or I am going to bed
RFS Thoroughbreds
07:48:50 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
toenail
Angels angels
07:46:51 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Yeah I am super ready to go to sleep lol
God is Mighty Stable
07:46:47 Willow ~ KNN Breeder
-HEE Click-
Name Idea?
FirstLightFarms
07:46:44 puck
-Click-

the only thing better than freshly washed sheets.... joining trivia ;)
God is Mighty Stable
07:46:11 Willow ~ KNN Breeder
No really? Same, lol
Angels angels
07:45:53 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Willow
I am pretty good. I didn't get enough sleep last night so I have been half awake a day lol
God is Mighty Stable
07:45:23 Willow ~ KNN Breeder
ANGEL!!!
How are you doing?
Angels angels
07:45:09 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Nova
Lol right

Also that mare is awesome! We badly need more rabi in our AAs!

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Pegasus Lane
08:25:33 Peggy (or) Peg
Omg these people have a very brave coyote. I've seen that bucket twice today
FirstLightFarms
08:24:20 puck
-Click-

Theme two about to start!
Angels angels
07:57:16 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I don't know what the second two are but I will attempt the first one
Sunni
07:56:11 Sunni bunny
My soul will leave my body.
Sunni
07:55:56 Sunni bunny
If I fail the first theme I'll be disappointed in myself.
FirstLightFarms
07:53:09 puck
Spirit, Kpop Demon Hunters, and the Silver Brumby :)
RFS Thoroughbreds
07:52:55 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
alright
Glacier Bay Cove
07:52:35 Arctic Katz
Sent you a PM, Fern, now running to the trivia room
Angels angels
07:51:11 [1k+ brindles] Angel
What are the themes
Sunni
07:50:50 Sunni bunny
I hope I do good in trivia I know a lot about the first theme haha.
I watched that movie so many times growing up.
FirstLightFarms
07:49:55 puck
Stay for one little theme? <3
Angels angels
07:49:26 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Trivia is always at the worst times for me lol either when I am at work or in class, or I am going to bed
RFS Thoroughbreds
07:48:50 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
toenail
Angels angels
07:46:51 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Yeah I am super ready to go to sleep lol
God is Mighty Stable
07:46:47 Willow ~ KNN Breeder
-HEE Click-
Name Idea?
FirstLightFarms
07:46:44 puck
-Click-

the only thing better than freshly washed sheets.... joining trivia ;)
God is Mighty Stable
07:46:11 Willow ~ KNN Breeder
No really? Same, lol
Angels angels
07:45:53 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Willow
I am pretty good. I didn't get enough sleep last night so I have been half awake a day lol
God is Mighty Stable
07:45:23 Willow ~ KNN Breeder
ANGEL!!!
How are you doing?
Angels angels
07:45:09 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Nova
Lol right

Also that mare is awesome! We badly need more rabi in our AAs!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2    3 

Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:48 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1227946
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After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:51 PM


Wolf Dancer
 
Posts: 3825
#1227947
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Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


Me me me me!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 07:51 PM


Wolf Dancer
 
Posts: 3825
#1227948
Give Award

Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


Me me me me!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 08:48 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3862
#1227964
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I'd be interested! :)
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:01 PM

Autumn Coast Stables
 
Posts: 45
#1227974
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Caaldir Equestrian said:
After some feedback and rereading a couple excerpts from the books on my shelves, I'm going with third person. Some descriptions got super jumbled so it felt like the best option. Would anyone want to read the first few chapters? Would love some feedback on the start to know it's going in the right direction :)


I'd love to!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:03 PM


KPH Equestrian
 
Posts: 3465
#1227975
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me three! :D
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 09:17 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1227981
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I revised some on the document and only decided to add this little bit, it felt like the best. I really feel I should lengthen a lot of this because it feels too short, but I also tend to do a lot of description to make up for it so I don't want it to drone on haha. The second part isn't finished, it's just what I had written down so far and I'm really struggling with it. Also some dialouge help would be amazing!
Caals Writing a Book! July 10, 2024 11:47 PM


Oakwood Barn
 
Posts: 1693
#1228037
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Caal, I love it so far! And I would love to help you write some dialogue when or if needed! You can just give me a basis of the character and the interaction and I'd be glad to help!
Also, for the first draft this is really great! I do recommend not revising though. I do it all the time (perfectionist lol) and it let's me never get it done. So, if you want to change somthing, since your in docs, add a comment to it, or highlight it or something so you know. And if you have the motivation to write a scene butdnt know how to get to it, skip! Don't loose that writing motivation!
Put something like,
(Epic battle scene)
and continue writing! (Also, you can clean up in the second draft)
Hope some of these help! I love the story so far!

Edited at July 10, 2024 11:48 PM by Oakwood Barn
Caals Writing a Book! July 11, 2024 09:31 AM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1228125
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Oakwood Barn said:
Caal, I love it so far! And I would love to help you write some dialogue when or if needed! You can just give me a basis of the character and the interaction and I'd be glad to help!
Also, for the first draft this is really great! I do recommend not revising though. I do it all the time (perfectionist lol) and it let's me never get it done. So, if you want to change somthing, since your in docs, add a comment to it, or highlight it or something so you know. And if you have the motivation to write a scene butdnt know how to get to it, skip! Don't loose that writing motivation!
Put something like,
(Epic battle scene)
and continue writing! (Also, you can clean up in the second draft)
Hope some of these help! I love the story so far!


Thank you! I'll defintely take you up on that at some point haha
Caals Writing a Book! July 12, 2024 07:32 PM


Caaldir Equestrian
 
Posts: 430
#1228509
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Okay a little update. I'm starting Chapter Three! Starting is a really loose term, at the moment what is updated is just stupid ideas I've strung together. My current problem is it feels like it should be longer? Any ideas on how stretch it out and add in some length? How should I have them interact? It feels like I've got the idea, I just can't put them together in the right way.
***
Currently it feels like it's moving too fast, and I really want it to take time so I can show the kind of devastation and pain that comes with an event like that. I thought about drawing out her little fight, the detail on the walk through the outpost, etc, but I'm not sure with what. Today my writing feels drab, almost childlike and not anything like the authors I've been reading. Yes, it's loose like theirs, more like retelling a story, but it isn't quite flowing. It's rigid and I'm not sure how to break it up.

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