Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 193   Season: Winter   
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Namerik Stables
04:38:54 Rose
or a tuxedo cat i had one and he was an absolute menace I guess that's why my mum changed his name to Denece or Denny for short
Honey
04:38:29 
Never mind, forgot that I clicked "unbred" so I guess that was why? LOL
Honey
04:37:39 
Gee the WB market is crazy, I snagged two EEE girls for 1,040 ebs each, next after them was 100k :0
Ellsworths Eden
04:34:20 
Sounds about orange? Lol.
Namerik Stables
01:27:28 Rose
what type of cat is he?
Transformers Acres
01:12:07 Geek, Eek
My cat keeps rubbing against me, hog my fan and unplugged my damn charger. Not sure if I should be annoyed at him, or find him adorable.
Black Meadow Estate
01:11:00 Meadow
So now I guess im gonna try to breed up Apricots? Studs are gonna be brutal to find
Gypsy Family Farm
01:10:02 
She's really pretty!
Black Meadow Estate
01:08:48 Meadow
-HEE Click-
So I did a thing
Gypsy Family Farm
12:54:34 
Oh thank Gods we had this conversation bc I almost forgot to pay my riders and I really would have cried.
Gypsy Family Farm
12:52:57 
I have been really struggling with it, to the point where I was so frustrated I thought about quitting the game.
Fantasy Horses
12:51:36 Fantasy | Fanta
Gypsy
Ooh, congrats!!!
Gypsy Family Farm
12:50:59 
YOU GUYS. For the first time in like a RL YEAR I have managed to get a horse into the World Games. I almost cried.
Fantasy Horses
12:47:55 Fantasy | Fanta
Green
I'd love to see it once it's done!!
Greenheart Stables
12:44:07 Green|Gren|Grenlin
@Fantasy
It will 🤤
Fantasy Horses
12:42:01 Fantasy | Fanta
Green
Oooh that's gonna be a good piece of art!
Greenheart Stables
12:40:35 Green|Gren|Grenlin
@Fantasy
Its all gonna be gone if the artist I PM accepts a commission request 😭
Fantasy Horses
12:39:21 Fantasy | Fanta
Green
Oh nice! Glad you got what you wanted!
Fantasy Horses
12:39:03 Fantasy | Fanta
You had 35 horses compete in reg. shows earning 38341.
Yasss that's a total profit of 18k!
Greenheart Stables
12:29:22 Green|Gren|Grenlin
Aug 26, 2025 00:17:52 You had 625 horses compete in reg. shows earning 1207431.
🥹 thank you for saving me

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



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Namerik Stables
04:38:54 Rose
or a tuxedo cat i had one and he was an absolute menace I guess that's why my mum changed his name to Denece or Denny for short
Honey
04:38:29 
Never mind, forgot that I clicked "unbred" so I guess that was why? LOL
Honey
04:37:39 
Gee the WB market is crazy, I snagged two EEE girls for 1,040 ebs each, next after them was 100k :0
Ellsworths Eden
04:34:20 
Sounds about orange? Lol.
Namerik Stables
01:27:28 Rose
what type of cat is he?
Transformers Acres
01:12:07 Geek, Eek
My cat keeps rubbing against me, hog my fan and unplugged my damn charger. Not sure if I should be annoyed at him, or find him adorable.
Black Meadow Estate
01:11:00 Meadow
So now I guess im gonna try to breed up Apricots? Studs are gonna be brutal to find
Gypsy Family Farm
01:10:02 
She's really pretty!
Black Meadow Estate
01:08:48 Meadow
-HEE Click-
So I did a thing
Gypsy Family Farm
12:54:34 
Oh thank Gods we had this conversation bc I almost forgot to pay my riders and I really would have cried.
Gypsy Family Farm
12:52:57 
I have been really struggling with it, to the point where I was so frustrated I thought about quitting the game.
Fantasy Horses
12:51:36 Fantasy | Fanta
Gypsy
Ooh, congrats!!!
Gypsy Family Farm
12:50:59 
YOU GUYS. For the first time in like a RL YEAR I have managed to get a horse into the World Games. I almost cried.
Fantasy Horses
12:47:55 Fantasy | Fanta
Green
I'd love to see it once it's done!!
Greenheart Stables
12:44:07 Green|Gren|Grenlin
@Fantasy
It will 🤤
Fantasy Horses
12:42:01 Fantasy | Fanta
Green
Oooh that's gonna be a good piece of art!
Greenheart Stables
12:40:35 Green|Gren|Grenlin
@Fantasy
Its all gonna be gone if the artist I PM accepts a commission request 😭
Fantasy Horses
12:39:21 Fantasy | Fanta
Green
Oh nice! Glad you got what you wanted!
Fantasy Horses
12:39:03 Fantasy | Fanta
You had 35 horses compete in reg. shows earning 38341.
Yasss that's a total profit of 18k!
Greenheart Stables
12:29:22 Green|Gren|Grenlin
Aug 26, 2025 00:17:52 You had 625 horses compete in reg. shows earning 1207431.
🥹 thank you for saving me

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2    3 

Im Letting HEE Be My Editors! :D February 20, 2021 02:37 PM


CC Knabbstruppers
 
Posts: 926
#855121
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Wild River Stables said:

CC Knabbstruppers said:

Wild River Stables said:
I have a few questions to ask. Question One: What role does Audry's family play in this story? Do they help or hinder her on her journey to become a better person? I find when writing that the family should have at least some impact in the story, which would make it more relatable. Question Two: Has she always dealt with situations in similar ways before? It would seem strange if that was the very first time it ever happened, especially if it gets overboard. Question Three: Was there something in her past that might have caused her to act in the way that she does?


I definitely want Audry's dad to play a major role in helping her start up her career and helping her get through her frustration.
I think I'll bring up some parts in the story that shows she has been through it before, but hasn't realized it was an issue until she unfairly brought her horse into it.
Maybe her mom's passing could've made it to where she bottles up her feelings? Or maybe she never knew her mom and instead her first horse's tragic passing makes it hard on her? What do you think would be more interesting? I feel like the parent passing away is a very overused cliche.


I think the parent's passing and the first horse's passing are both commonly used in equestrian books, although you can bring that into the story if you really want to. I noticed that very few, if any, of the equestrian books I've read had the death of a main character's friend. Perhaps she had a friend who also liked horses, but died in a horse related accident.


I love that idea! I feel like that'll definitely make it into the story!
Im Letting HEE Be My Editors! :D February 20, 2021 02:40 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3863
#855122
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^ the first full novel I ever wrote was about my main character going through the grieving process over the sudden death of her best friend.
Im Letting HEE Be My Editors! :D February 20, 2021 02:42 PM


CC Knabbstruppers
 
Posts: 926
#855124
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I'd also love to ask you guys, what POV do you guys prefer to write in or prefer to read? I'm having a hard time deciding what I'd like it to be. :/
Im Letting HEE Be My Editors! :D February 20, 2021 02:54 PM


Wild River Stables
 
Posts: 406
#855126
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CC Knabbstruppers said:
I'd also love to ask you guys, what POV do you guys prefer to write in or prefer to read? I'm having a hard time deciding what I'd like it to be. :/


I typically write in third person. To me it's easier than writing in the first and second, but I have read some books where the POV is in one of the latter two.

Edited at February 20, 2021 02:54 PM by Wild River Stables
Im Letting HEE Be My Editors! :D February 20, 2021 07:02 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#855198
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People kind of already wrote what I was going to write but to reiterate-
Make the horse a character! It should have a personality and react to your main character, just like a real life horse. The horse's personality should grow and change in response to the main character's (maybe it was unspookable before but after being beaten it's super skittish and jumpy).
If your main character is, for example, impatient and that's why she's getting mad at the horse, you should make that clear (or at least have her impatience make an appearance of some sort) BEFORE showing her interacting with said horse. Even if it's just her having some sort of tic, like tapping her fingers on a surface while she's waiting for something.
There has to be a reason for everything. Unexplained shit happening out of nowhere is one of the things I hate most about a story. Sure, you can have a plot twist, but it has to feel like said plot twist or change was premeditated, and the reader should be able to go back through and pick out the instances leading up to the twist that in hindsight might have given it away.
I would suggest having the main character interact mostly with other humans for the first little section or intro to the story so you and the readers can kind of figure out her personality before tossing the horse into the mix. Or have her do something mundane or chore-y that displays her connection to horses without involving the horse at first (cleaning tack, bagging grain, mucking out stalls, et cetera)
Basically introduce the character slowly before bringing in all the crazy- reveal details in chunks without making it look forced ("did you have a good day at *casually name drops the barn*?"). I personally prefer to write in first or third person present tense, but my favorite books have included a combination of first person present/past and third person present/past.
I would 100% love you to send me a draft when you're done with it so I can mark it up and/or butcher it >:D
Im Letting HEE Be My Editors! :D February 20, 2021 07:11 PM


CC Knabbstruppers
 
Posts: 926
#855203
Give Award

TenaciTea said:
People kind of already wrote what I was going to write but to reiterate-
Make the horse a character! It should have a personality and react to your main character, just like a real life horse. The horse's personality should grow and change in response to the main character's (maybe it was unspookable before but after being beaten it's super skittish and jumpy).
If your main character is, for example, impatient and that's why she's getting mad at the horse, you should make that clear (or at least have her impatience make an appearance of some sort) BEFORE showing her interacting with said horse. Even if it's just her having some sort of tic, like tapping her fingers on a surface while she's waiting for something.
There has to be a reason for everything. Unexplained shit happening out of nowhere is one of the things I hate most about a story. Sure, you can have a plot twist, but it has to feel like said plot twist or change was premeditated, and the reader should be able to go back through and pick out the instances leading up to the twist that in hindsight might have given it away.
I would suggest having the main character interact mostly with other humans for the first little section or intro to the story so you and the readers can kind of figure out her personality before tossing the horse into the mix. Or have her do something mundane or chore-y that displays her connection to horses without involving the horse at first (cleaning tack, bagging grain, mucking out stalls, et cetera)
Basically introduce the character slowly before bringing in all the crazy- reveal details in chunks without making it look forced ("did you have a good day at *casually name drops the barn*?"). I personally prefer to write in first or third person present tense, but my favorite books have included a combination of first person present/past and third person present/past.
I would 100% love you to send me a draft when you're done with it so I can mark it up and/or butcher it >:D


I would love for you to butcher it! >:D XD And thank you so much! I kind of feel like I already did almost everything wrong, but once I get this rough chapter done, I'll share. ^^
Im Letting HEE Be My Editors! :D February 21, 2021 12:36 AM


CC Knabbstruppers
 
Posts: 926
#855319
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Here we are! I have my first chapter finished. I'm debating on if I'd like to make it longer.... or what other detail I'd like to add. I've left commenting priveleges on so, please, butcher it with all you guys have!

Chapter 1 - Rough


Edited at February 21, 2021 12:36 AM by CC Knabbstruppers
Im Letting HEE Be My Editors! :D February 21, 2021 01:34 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3863
#855531
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This is such an excellent start! I do like how you got a country sort of voice to the whole piece- not just the way the characters look and speak, but the way you describe things still feels true and country. You've encapsulated that vibe very nicely.
I would like to see Freight described a little uglier. He's a diamond in the rough, but you're talking about his snow white socks and beautiful mane and tail. Cover him in mud and let his socks be a surprise for when Audrey bathes him. Let her fall for the sweet eye but feel sorry for the valleys between his ribs, so that you can get more of that underdog feel.
Overall, this is a great start to it! The characters and the world they live in feel very full.

Edited at February 21, 2021 01:34 PM by FirstLightFarms
Im Letting HEE Be My Editors! :D February 21, 2021 01:47 PM


CC Knabbstruppers
 
Posts: 926
#855538
Give Award

FirstLightFarms said:
This is such an excellent start! I do like how you got a country sort of voice to the whole piece- not just the way the characters look and speak, but the way you describe things still feels true and country. You've encapsulated that vibe very nicely.
I would like to see Freight described a little uglier. He's a diamond in the rough, but you're talking about his snow white socks and beautiful mane and tail. Cover him in mud and let his socks be a surprise for when Audrey bathes him. Let her fall for the sweet eye but feel sorry for the valleys between his ribs, so that you can get more of that underdog feel.
Overall, this is a great start to it! The characters and the world they live in feel very full.


Thank you! I'll definitely go through that. Half the time I want the horse to be nasty, but the other half I want him to be this gorgeous steed XD Glad I'm just roughing this out!
Im Letting HEE Be My Editors! :D February 22, 2021 09:54 AM


CC Knabbstruppers
 
Posts: 926
#855953
Give Award

CC Knabbstruppers said:
Here we are! I have my first chapter finished. I'm debating on if I'd like to make it longer.... or what other detail I'd like to add. I've left commenting priveleges on so, please, butcher it with all you guys have!

Chapter 1 - Rough



I made a few edits to this chapter. ^^ Could you all let me know if they make sense and what not?

Also, thank you so much you guys! You're all such an amazing help!


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