Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Summer   
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Forecast: Spring Showers
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Wed 07:46am  
Stables Online:  103 
Chatbox
Twin Flames
07:45:41 Blaze
Your markings are cool -HEE Click-
Calela Eventing
07:41:05 Cali
Spring
I've only just finished the first book but im getting some funny looks for the characters i like xD
DSD Training Center
07:38:29 Spring <3
Cali,
I've read that! I loved it
Beamng
07:36:03 Beam / Jackson Storm
-Click-
Alex Delaware books.
Beamng
07:34:48 Beam / Jackson Storm
I'm starting to read "Alex Delaware" series at night and now I go to bed at 12:00 and wake up at 6:00. Super sleepy.
Calela Eventing
07:34:27 Cali
Folk of The Air, my best friend reccomended it and i'm loving it
Jericho Stables
07:32:39 
What series?
Calela Eventing
07:25:54 Cali
I've managed to addict myself to a new book series so there will be many sleepless nights until im done xD
Minerva
07:22:28 Min
Might as well if you don't need anything else urgently
Astray
07:20:01 Stay |
Eden Bucks: 20,105
Savings Accounts: 350,000
Should I get another barn?
Shamrock Equines
07:19:17 Crowley
Cali
Lol I was out like a light last night for once.
Calela Eventing
07:17:42 Cali
Oh lol
The all-nighter is beginning to show
Probably why i bought 2 burgers and not 1
Shamrock Equines
07:16:39 Crowley
Cali
Click the link I sent lol
Shamrock Equines
07:15:39 Crowley
Dog was trying to dig out. Dx
Minerva
07:15:05 Min
I squealed a bit when I brave tested her lol! She's absolute *garbage* unfortunately but the fact she exists is a step in the right direction. And I figure the bigger the base of wild stock I can build, the more likely I am to luck into breeding something actually decent
Calela Eventing
07:15:00 Cali
Myth
What did you mean earlier by Explorer?
Cloud Peak Stables
07:13:05 Cloud
WWW/E is still a big accomplishment!
Minerva
07:12:48 Min
Ooh what a good lad Myth! Fingers crossed he levels
Shamrock Equines
07:11:57 Crowley
-HEE Click-
Minerva
07:11:40 Min
My goal for a few years time is to be breeding consistent AD Braves. Whether that comes to fruition or not we'll see but it's nice to aim for! Ive managed a WWW/E recently but otherwise there's a *long* way to go

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



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Chatbox
Twin Flames
07:45:41 Blaze
Your markings are cool -HEE Click-
Calela Eventing
07:41:05 Cali
Spring
I've only just finished the first book but im getting some funny looks for the characters i like xD
DSD Training Center
07:38:29 Spring <3
Cali,
I've read that! I loved it
Beamng
07:36:03 Beam / Jackson Storm
-Click-
Alex Delaware books.
Beamng
07:34:48 Beam / Jackson Storm
I'm starting to read "Alex Delaware" series at night and now I go to bed at 12:00 and wake up at 6:00. Super sleepy.
Calela Eventing
07:34:27 Cali
Folk of The Air, my best friend reccomended it and i'm loving it
Jericho Stables
07:32:39 
What series?
Calela Eventing
07:25:54 Cali
I've managed to addict myself to a new book series so there will be many sleepless nights until im done xD
Minerva
07:22:28 Min
Might as well if you don't need anything else urgently
Astray
07:20:01 Stay |
Eden Bucks: 20,105
Savings Accounts: 350,000
Should I get another barn?
Shamrock Equines
07:19:17 Crowley
Cali
Lol I was out like a light last night for once.
Calela Eventing
07:17:42 Cali
Oh lol
The all-nighter is beginning to show
Probably why i bought 2 burgers and not 1
Shamrock Equines
07:16:39 Crowley
Cali
Click the link I sent lol
Shamrock Equines
07:15:39 Crowley
Dog was trying to dig out. Dx
Minerva
07:15:05 Min
I squealed a bit when I brave tested her lol! She's absolute *garbage* unfortunately but the fact she exists is a step in the right direction. And I figure the bigger the base of wild stock I can build, the more likely I am to luck into breeding something actually decent
Calela Eventing
07:15:00 Cali
Myth
What did you mean earlier by Explorer?
Cloud Peak Stables
07:13:05 Cloud
WWW/E is still a big accomplishment!
Minerva
07:12:48 Min
Ooh what a good lad Myth! Fingers crossed he levels
Shamrock Equines
07:11:57 Crowley
-HEE Click-
Minerva
07:11:40 Min
My goal for a few years time is to be breeding consistent AD Braves. Whether that comes to fruition or not we'll see but it's nice to aim for! Ive managed a WWW/E recently but otherwise there's a *long* way to go

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
Give Award
Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4051
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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