Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 202   Season: Spring   
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Forecast: Evening Thunderstorms, Hail Possible
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Angels angels
02:54:21 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Can't sleep
esme equines stable
02:35:50 Sporkel
night
fire
02:08:28 
i know the saddle pads cute to
Nightingales Ridge
02:08:16 𔓘 Issy
Oh the tack contest hey
Nightingales Ridge
02:08:01 𔓘 Issy
Rainbow bridle would be pretty
fire
02:07:11 
yeah
its for a contest
Nightingales Ridge
02:06:44 𔓘 Issy
Fire is your art the drawing on top of the HEE images? Or was something removed from the blank posts?
Minerva
02:02:08 Min
-HEE Click-

Oooh I hadn't even clocked that her and her mother can both produce apricot 👀
SUMMER OF PEARLS
01:50:40 
ooo i hope ther is a new construction for the Round Pen too--it is so plain...that would be so cool!
Transformers Acres
01:42:10 Geek, Greek Yogurt
MB

Yeah, I was looking at Megalodon/Mosasaurus/Giganotosaurus/Spinosaurus teeth and claws.
Massbay
01:37:52 MB
I had to google a fossilized claw... yeah those aren't cheap but at least they're cool
Transformers Acres
01:29:22 Geek, Greek Yogurt
I wanna buy fossilized teeth/claws. But the prices...

It's calling me broke in every language. :')
fire
01:27:28 
what dose eevery one think my first art
fire
01:27:12 
-HEE Click-
Wolf Dancer
12:32:01 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Listening to hype pop/club songs while tapping my ankle is a vibe lol
Massbay
12:30:26 MB
My palette crashed out due to a spelling error. looks like i need to learn how to spell "normal" again
esme equines stable
12:26:35 Sporkel
its 10:26 I never mix!!! heyooo
Nightingales Ridge
12:26:29 𔓘 Issy
Too stressed to breed right now ha
Nightingales Ridge
12:26:04 𔓘 Issy
Ughhh not paying attention to frame x frame shit
Moongold Magic
12:22:57 🍭 Diva
Chocolate ice cream with strawberries though yes

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Horse Eden Eventing Game
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Angels angels
02:54:21 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Can't sleep
esme equines stable
02:35:50 Sporkel
night
fire
02:08:28 
i know the saddle pads cute to
Nightingales Ridge
02:08:16 𔓘 Issy
Oh the tack contest hey
Nightingales Ridge
02:08:01 𔓘 Issy
Rainbow bridle would be pretty
fire
02:07:11 
yeah
its for a contest
Nightingales Ridge
02:06:44 𔓘 Issy
Fire is your art the drawing on top of the HEE images? Or was something removed from the blank posts?
Minerva
02:02:08 Min
-HEE Click-

Oooh I hadn't even clocked that her and her mother can both produce apricot 👀
SUMMER OF PEARLS
01:50:40 
ooo i hope ther is a new construction for the Round Pen too--it is so plain...that would be so cool!
Transformers Acres
01:42:10 Geek, Greek Yogurt
MB

Yeah, I was looking at Megalodon/Mosasaurus/Giganotosaurus/Spinosaurus teeth and claws.
Massbay
01:37:52 MB
I had to google a fossilized claw... yeah those aren't cheap but at least they're cool
Transformers Acres
01:29:22 Geek, Greek Yogurt
I wanna buy fossilized teeth/claws. But the prices...

It's calling me broke in every language. :')
fire
01:27:28 
what dose eevery one think my first art
fire
01:27:12 
-HEE Click-
Wolf Dancer
12:32:01 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Listening to hype pop/club songs while tapping my ankle is a vibe lol
Massbay
12:30:26 MB
My palette crashed out due to a spelling error. looks like i need to learn how to spell "normal" again
esme equines stable
12:26:35 Sporkel
its 10:26 I never mix!!! heyooo
Nightingales Ridge
12:26:29 𔓘 Issy
Too stressed to breed right now ha
Nightingales Ridge
12:26:04 𔓘 Issy
Ughhh not paying attention to frame x frame shit
Moongold Magic
12:22:57 🍭 Diva
Chocolate ice cream with strawberries though yes

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4069
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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