Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 198   Season: Summer   
$: 0
Forecast: Evening Thunderstorms, Hail Possible
Forecast:
Wed 08:03pm  
Stables Online:  118 
Chatbox
Poppy Land
08:02:32 Poppy
*I don't know how
Poppy Land
08:02:19 Poppy
Thank you, idk how I missed his int
Bioshock Manor
08:02:14 Storm
Definitely 😂
Ranch Lands Training
08:01:57 Lilly/PON Addict
Storm - Please update us when you hit 20mil
Bignus Bognus
08:01:31 literally bingus
Poppy, they match pretty well already, just something to boost int I think
Willow Grove
08:01:01 Stalker of Chat
I love when the coworker who doesnt do half her job lectures me on my sloppy close because she wasnt helping 🙃
Papyrus
08:01:01 
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
Hmmm, geld and show? Or let them keep their jewels 'til they're freshies?
Poppy Land
08:00:11 Poppy
-HEE Click-

What item would you put on this?
rumi+jinu
07:59:59 usagi
does anyone know where the forum is where you enter the horse that you put blue tack on? its a contest
Bioshock Manor
07:57:33 Storm
Ooh haha. I like it.
Greenheart Stables
07:56:54 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
@Storm
20mil
Ranch Lands Training
07:55:58 Lilly/PON Addict
Uh no, that's unfortunate
Bioshock Manor
07:55:36 Storm
I need a high number to strive for ebs wise. I like challenges and I feel unmotivated XD
Bignus Bognus
07:55:20 literally bingus
They're not online but I PM'd them explaining why they're a little richer now lmao

I said they could keep it if they wanted, it's my mistake and it was a giveaway prize anywho so I guess I'm just giving away an extra 200k ^^;
Pentagram Stables
07:53:40 Penta - KNNs
oh no...did you get it back ?
Bignus Bognus
07:51:26 literally bingus
literally just sent 200k to the wrong person I really need a nap :')
Sunfeather Stables
07:42:31 Fea
Hi bingus!
rumi+jinu
07:42:29 usagi
hi
Bignus Bognus
07:41:57 literally bingus
hello everyone!
Mythological
07:29:35 Crowley | Krampus
Nice

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Poppy Land
08:02:32 Poppy
*I don't know how
Poppy Land
08:02:19 Poppy
Thank you, idk how I missed his int
Bioshock Manor
08:02:14 Storm
Definitely 😂
Ranch Lands Training
08:01:57 Lilly/PON Addict
Storm - Please update us when you hit 20mil
Bignus Bognus
08:01:31 literally bingus
Poppy, they match pretty well already, just something to boost int I think
Willow Grove
08:01:01 Stalker of Chat
I love when the coworker who doesnt do half her job lectures me on my sloppy close because she wasnt helping 🙃
Papyrus
08:01:01 
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
Hmmm, geld and show? Or let them keep their jewels 'til they're freshies?
Poppy Land
08:00:11 Poppy
-HEE Click-

What item would you put on this?
rumi+jinu
07:59:59 usagi
does anyone know where the forum is where you enter the horse that you put blue tack on? its a contest
Bioshock Manor
07:57:33 Storm
Ooh haha. I like it.
Greenheart Stables
07:56:54 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
@Storm
20mil
Ranch Lands Training
07:55:58 Lilly/PON Addict
Uh no, that's unfortunate
Bioshock Manor
07:55:36 Storm
I need a high number to strive for ebs wise. I like challenges and I feel unmotivated XD
Bignus Bognus
07:55:20 literally bingus
They're not online but I PM'd them explaining why they're a little richer now lmao

I said they could keep it if they wanted, it's my mistake and it was a giveaway prize anywho so I guess I'm just giving away an extra 200k ^^;
Pentagram Stables
07:53:40 Penta - KNNs
oh no...did you get it back ?
Bignus Bognus
07:51:26 literally bingus
literally just sent 200k to the wrong person I really need a nap :')
Sunfeather Stables
07:42:31 Fea
Hi bingus!
rumi+jinu
07:42:29 usagi
hi
Bignus Bognus
07:41:57 literally bingus
hello everyone!
Mythological
07:29:35 Crowley | Krampus
Nice

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4015
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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