Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 200   Season: Fall   
$: 0
Forecast: Morning Drizzle, but Clearing later
Forecast:
Mon 06:01am  
Stables Online:  75 
Chatbox
Rainview
06:00:48 Irish Capp
Oh oh oh *.* I can't wait to see the outcome Zz To Rb please
Equile
06:00:03 Tosk's RID
that's the embryo *-*
-HEE Click-
Rainview
05:59:21 Irish Capp
-HEE Click- AH I keep forgetting about this thing :o
Equile
05:59:20 Tosk's RID
could have been an embryo LC, i didn't keep track ;D But i wanted to try him with Jamocha
Rainview
05:58:17 Irish Capp
Did you?? I didn't get a message, or was it a different account?? I can't keep them straight
Equile
05:57:23 Tosk's RID
Hey, i bought a strobe straw yesterday for an embryo xD I am feeding your accountant xD
Rainview
05:56:14 Irish Capp
And im here *stressed* at 2m LOL
Seth Farms
05:55:10 
How did I get negative ebs from playing higher or lower. I have $-97 💀
Equile
05:54:58 Tosk's RID
I'm at 300k, despite of owning Frapo and the #1 and #3 RID LB girl xD go figure
Rainview
05:54:43 Irish Capp
-HEE Click- starting out strong -.-
Rainview
05:53:37 Irish Capp
LOL me too Tosk
Equile
05:52:24 Tosk's RID
time for these suckers ._.
Seagrape Stables
05:50:30 Secret Capp
<3 -HEE Click-
Ashcroft Park Stud
05:47:42 Ash
Haha Maco, least they make up for it in other areas 🤭
Maco Stables
05:47:06 Maco
@ Ash
-HEE Click- I think the same of her lol
Dalas Estate
05:46:40 Detroit
Myth
Im happy to take him lol
Dunhill Farms
05:46:39 Colorful Capp
-HEE Click- not mad at that!
Lytaa
05:46:05 Honey
-HEE Click-
I'll take that
Mythological
05:45:52 Tim:2016-2026
Well you ain't sticking around much longer.
-HEE Click-

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Chatbox
Rainview
06:00:48 Irish Capp
Oh oh oh *.* I can't wait to see the outcome Zz To Rb please
Equile
06:00:03 Tosk's RID
that's the embryo *-*
-HEE Click-
Rainview
05:59:21 Irish Capp
-HEE Click- AH I keep forgetting about this thing :o
Equile
05:59:20 Tosk's RID
could have been an embryo LC, i didn't keep track ;D But i wanted to try him with Jamocha
Rainview
05:58:17 Irish Capp
Did you?? I didn't get a message, or was it a different account?? I can't keep them straight
Equile
05:57:23 Tosk's RID
Hey, i bought a strobe straw yesterday for an embryo xD I am feeding your accountant xD
Rainview
05:56:14 Irish Capp
And im here *stressed* at 2m LOL
Seth Farms
05:55:10 
How did I get negative ebs from playing higher or lower. I have $-97 💀
Equile
05:54:58 Tosk's RID
I'm at 300k, despite of owning Frapo and the #1 and #3 RID LB girl xD go figure
Rainview
05:54:43 Irish Capp
-HEE Click- starting out strong -.-
Rainview
05:53:37 Irish Capp
LOL me too Tosk
Equile
05:52:24 Tosk's RID
time for these suckers ._.
Seagrape Stables
05:50:30 Secret Capp
<3 -HEE Click-
Ashcroft Park Stud
05:47:42 Ash
Haha Maco, least they make up for it in other areas 🤭
Maco Stables
05:47:06 Maco
@ Ash
-HEE Click- I think the same of her lol
Dalas Estate
05:46:40 Detroit
Myth
Im happy to take him lol
Dunhill Farms
05:46:39 Colorful Capp
-HEE Click- not mad at that!
Lytaa
05:46:05 Honey
-HEE Click-
I'll take that
Mythological
05:45:52 Tim:2016-2026
Well you ain't sticking around much longer.
-HEE Click-

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4044
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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