Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 199   Season: Fall   
$: 0
Forecast: Morning Drizzle, but Clearing later
Forecast:
Mon 05:55am  
Stables Online:  75 
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Seagrape Stables
05:47:16 Secret Capp
-HEE Click- huh lol
Dunhill Farms
05:42:18 Colorful Capp
Ouuu nice Tosk!
Alogo Stables
05:40:07 
And another one all up
-HEE Click-
Alogo Stables
05:35:39 
Yay, all up
-HEE Click-
Cappuccino
05:30:10 Heyy it's Capp
Its taken me.....idk like a decade to knock the habit...I still relapse with questing LOL
Oakmoss Stud
05:29:31 Oak
I fall for the jingly keys of spending all my ebs on capturing at least twice a month, my accountant hates me :')
Cappuccino
05:25:14 Heyy it's Capp
Yeah capturing its meant to be a money sink XD
WildWind
05:23:49 Wild
I knoooow.... they dont like me lol
Cappuccino
05:22:29 Heyy it's Capp
Good luck with that wild - its expensive and soooo hard XD

Thanks Ash! Hopefully she'll be good
DearBorn Ranch
05:22:29 Louise
oh no -HEE Click-
Ashcroft Park Stud
05:21:19 Ash
Ooh Capp, congrats - she has it all, colour and training!
Maco Stables
05:21:15 Maco
LoL
WildWind
05:21:12 Wild
ooo Capp
I have just been waiting around for a wild WWW to come along
Cappuccino
05:20:41 Heyy it's Capp
XD
Maco Stables
05:20:33 Maco
Wow, mind if I steal her?
Cappuccino
05:19:51 Heyy it's Capp
yusss -HEE Click-
WildWind
05:18:54 Wild
O...k thats oddly spcific
DearBorn Ranch
05:18:52 Louise
he died on me today
-HEE Click-
DearBorn Ranch
05:18:18 Louise
after 19 they have a chance to die every Monday
WildWind
05:17:41 Wild
do horses ever die? I prbly know its just too early to remeber

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Chatbox
Seagrape Stables
05:47:16 Secret Capp
-HEE Click- huh lol
Dunhill Farms
05:42:18 Colorful Capp
Ouuu nice Tosk!
Alogo Stables
05:40:07 
And another one all up
-HEE Click-
Alogo Stables
05:35:39 
Yay, all up
-HEE Click-
Cappuccino
05:30:10 Heyy it's Capp
Its taken me.....idk like a decade to knock the habit...I still relapse with questing LOL
Oakmoss Stud
05:29:31 Oak
I fall for the jingly keys of spending all my ebs on capturing at least twice a month, my accountant hates me :')
Cappuccino
05:25:14 Heyy it's Capp
Yeah capturing its meant to be a money sink XD
WildWind
05:23:49 Wild
I knoooow.... they dont like me lol
Cappuccino
05:22:29 Heyy it's Capp
Good luck with that wild - its expensive and soooo hard XD

Thanks Ash! Hopefully she'll be good
DearBorn Ranch
05:22:29 Louise
oh no -HEE Click-
Ashcroft Park Stud
05:21:19 Ash
Ooh Capp, congrats - she has it all, colour and training!
Maco Stables
05:21:15 Maco
LoL
WildWind
05:21:12 Wild
ooo Capp
I have just been waiting around for a wild WWW to come along
Cappuccino
05:20:41 Heyy it's Capp
XD
Maco Stables
05:20:33 Maco
Wow, mind if I steal her?
Cappuccino
05:19:51 Heyy it's Capp
yusss -HEE Click-
WildWind
05:18:54 Wild
O...k thats oddly spcific
DearBorn Ranch
05:18:52 Louise
he died on me today
-HEE Click-
DearBorn Ranch
05:18:18 Louise
after 19 they have a chance to die every Monday
WildWind
05:17:41 Wild
do horses ever die? I prbly know its just too early to remeber

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
Give Award
Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4032
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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