Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 200   Season: Fall   
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Forecast: Sunny Day with a Full Moon tonight
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Stables Online:  124 
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Mythological
06:02:49 RIP-Tim:2016-26
Gem
Yup.
Gemstone Stable
06:01:16 Snow❆Gem
Two of the guy coworkers got new similar hair cuts. Very short cut and honestly makes them look worse. >.>
Gemstone Stable
06:01:12 Snow❆Gem
@angels

HEE mare right? Then I second Eury. ;P
The Old Gods
05:59:43 Void Malign
do it
Angels angels
05:59:32 [1k+ brindles] Angel
The temptation to buy a new mare is high
Gemstone Stable
05:57:40 Snow❆Gem
@myth

Aw, Tim things? *hugs*
Gemstone Stable
05:52:44 Snow❆Gem
@myth

Yeah, I took off almost everything one item type at a time, for a good 20 feet on all shelves. I found a bunch of expired cookies, wafers, and such. lol
Mythological
05:51:41 RIP-Tim:2016-26
-Click-
Mythological
05:49:26 RIP-Tim:2016-26
Lol
Gemstone Stable
05:49:07 Snow❆Gem
@myth

Hello. :) I'm resting my almost everything. lol
Mythological
05:47:51 RIP-Tim:2016-26
Hey Gem
Gemstone Stable
05:45:36 Snow❆Gem
lol Actually had a boring day at work. :D
DragonsRidge
05:35:47 Tahiri
Van - that sounds like so much fun!!
Vanguard Stables
05:32:07 River | Van
I'm so pumped! I get to go to a horse camp next week and then ride with my neighbor while she's home from college, getting my horse fix!
Tenebris Hollow
05:31:40 Aris/Maki
She's cute though
Angels angels
05:30:05 [1k+ brindles] Angel
-HEE Click-
Brat. I needed a P
QualitySH
05:16:19 
Yes fingers crossed. Her dun marks will forever be dungeon marks in my mind because of a typo that happened when I got a new phone
Santana Rising
05:15:03 San
Fingers crossed! Love the homo duns!
QualitySH
05:14:50 
Ooh congrats san
Nightingales Ridge
05:14:43 𔓘 Issy
Eek nice San

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Mythological
06:02:49 RIP-Tim:2016-26
Gem
Yup.
Gemstone Stable
06:01:16 Snow❆Gem
Two of the guy coworkers got new similar hair cuts. Very short cut and honestly makes them look worse. >.>
Gemstone Stable
06:01:12 Snow❆Gem
@angels

HEE mare right? Then I second Eury. ;P
The Old Gods
05:59:43 Void Malign
do it
Angels angels
05:59:32 [1k+ brindles] Angel
The temptation to buy a new mare is high
Gemstone Stable
05:57:40 Snow❆Gem
@myth

Aw, Tim things? *hugs*
Gemstone Stable
05:52:44 Snow❆Gem
@myth

Yeah, I took off almost everything one item type at a time, for a good 20 feet on all shelves. I found a bunch of expired cookies, wafers, and such. lol
Mythological
05:51:41 RIP-Tim:2016-26
-Click-
Mythological
05:49:26 RIP-Tim:2016-26
Lol
Gemstone Stable
05:49:07 Snow❆Gem
@myth

Hello. :) I'm resting my almost everything. lol
Mythological
05:47:51 RIP-Tim:2016-26
Hey Gem
Gemstone Stable
05:45:36 Snow❆Gem
lol Actually had a boring day at work. :D
DragonsRidge
05:35:47 Tahiri
Van - that sounds like so much fun!!
Vanguard Stables
05:32:07 River | Van
I'm so pumped! I get to go to a horse camp next week and then ride with my neighbor while she's home from college, getting my horse fix!
Tenebris Hollow
05:31:40 Aris/Maki
She's cute though
Angels angels
05:30:05 [1k+ brindles] Angel
-HEE Click-
Brat. I needed a P
QualitySH
05:16:19 
Yes fingers crossed. Her dun marks will forever be dungeon marks in my mind because of a typo that happened when I got a new phone
Santana Rising
05:15:03 San
Fingers crossed! Love the homo duns!
QualitySH
05:14:50 
Ooh congrats san
Nightingales Ridge
05:14:43 𔓘 Issy
Eek nice San

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
Give Award
Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4044
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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