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Greenheart Stables
08:59:28 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
Not excited to pack 2 spicy reptiles for a vet visit
KPH Equestrian
08:59:00 Rapcoon | Jester
Thank youu<3
Telepath
08:58:01 xo
KPH
Happy birthday <3
Gemstone Stable
08:55:25 Snow❆Gem
@jester

You're welcome! :D
KPH Equestrian
08:54:10 Rapcoon | Jester
Thank you all oh my gosh πŸ₯Ή
Nolified
08:53:31 Miren
Happy birthday Jester <3
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08:52:43 Lily
πŸ€—πŸ€—
KPH Equestrian
08:52:20 Rapcoon | Jester
Thank you lily 🫢πŸ₯Ή
Gemstone Stable
08:52:19 Snow❆Gem
@KPH

Oh! Happy birthday! XD
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Happy happy KPH <33
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08:51:30 Snow❆Gem
@jester

Neato! XD
MakeEm Fancy
08:51:23 Ally 💜
You know I think Im done for the day πŸ™ƒ people are insane
KPH Equestrian
08:51:12 Rapcoon | Jester
Aw thanks red!<33
The Red Herring
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Happy birthday KPH!
KPH Equestrian
08:49:57 Rapcoon | Jester
Ooh just logged on to 333,333 ebs, noice πŸ‘Œ
Gemstone Stable
08:45:54 Snow❆Gem
Yesterday one of the higher up managers said that 'you'll figure it out, you're smart'. Oh man, I was was on a mini high for a bit after that. XD
Aurora's Fields
08:45:31 Jenifael
I sure hope so, I haven't gotten a nice mare in a while. All of my WWW mares have been disappointments haha
Mooncreek Magic
08:45:10 🍑 Diva
I ve had a couple of those now, I think of them as universal ones - chuck at anything you need. Might bit level on week 11 or 12
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08:44:24 Fawn
She might level in a day or two
Gemstone Stable
08:44:04 Snow❆Gem
@diva

Crown Stallion Champion? Ohh, he's a king or emporer now. lol :D

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Greenheart Stables
08:59:28 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
Not excited to pack 2 spicy reptiles for a vet visit
KPH Equestrian
08:59:00 Rapcoon | Jester
Thank youu<3
Telepath
08:58:01 xo
KPH
Happy birthday <3
Gemstone Stable
08:55:25 Snow❆Gem
@jester

You're welcome! :D
KPH Equestrian
08:54:10 Rapcoon | Jester
Thank you all oh my gosh πŸ₯Ή
Nolified
08:53:31 Miren
Happy birthday Jester <3
Alpine Acres
08:52:43 Lily
πŸ€—πŸ€—
KPH Equestrian
08:52:20 Rapcoon | Jester
Thank you lily 🫢πŸ₯Ή
Gemstone Stable
08:52:19 Snow❆Gem
@KPH

Oh! Happy birthday! XD
Alpine Acres
08:51:40 Lily
Happy happy KPH <33
Gemstone Stable
08:51:30 Snow❆Gem
@jester

Neato! XD
MakeEm Fancy
08:51:23 Ally 💜
You know I think Im done for the day πŸ™ƒ people are insane
KPH Equestrian
08:51:12 Rapcoon | Jester
Aw thanks red!<33
The Red Herring
08:50:56 Lil' Red
Happy birthday KPH!
KPH Equestrian
08:49:57 Rapcoon | Jester
Ooh just logged on to 333,333 ebs, noice πŸ‘Œ
Gemstone Stable
08:45:54 Snow❆Gem
Yesterday one of the higher up managers said that 'you'll figure it out, you're smart'. Oh man, I was was on a mini high for a bit after that. XD
Aurora's Fields
08:45:31 Jenifael
I sure hope so, I haven't gotten a nice mare in a while. All of my WWW mares have been disappointments haha
Mooncreek Magic
08:45:10 🍑 Diva
I ve had a couple of those now, I think of them as universal ones - chuck at anything you need. Might bit level on week 11 or 12
All Breeds
08:44:24 Fawn
She might level in a day or two
Gemstone Stable
08:44:04 Snow❆Gem
@diva

Crown Stallion Champion? Ohh, he's a king or emporer now. lol :D

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4075
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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