Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Spring   
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Forecast: Showers Off and On
Forecast:
Sat 11:55am  
Stables Online:  132 
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White Wolf Stables
11:55:08 WWolf
Could be better, could be worse. Got a new horse in real life, he is great
Nirvany
11:53:50 Ari
Good how about you? :}
White Wolf Stables
11:53:31 WWolf
How have you been? :)
Nirvany
11:52:56 Ari
Heya White Wolf!
White Wolf Stables
11:52:39 WWolf
Hi Ari!
Painted Perfection
11:49:50 Luna
Hey Brolor, nice to meet you. Just wanted to ask you if you made your avi or if you got it done?
Corazon
11:44:19 
Welcome to HEE Brolor :)
Ranch Lands Training
11:43:46 Lilly/PON Addict
My daughter had a cold turn sinus infection. I came up with a head cold right as she was getting better and I gave it to my husband
Nirvany
11:43:07 Ari
Heya people! <3
Ellsworths Eden
11:42:31 
I've been sick since last Saturday. Dutch just got sick today. I'm pretty sure it's just a nasty cold. (No fever)
Ranch Lands Training
11:41:35 Lilly/PON Addict
Everyone seems to be sick right now. If it's not one thing it's another
Ellsworths Eden
11:41:06 
Thank you! I'll let them know when they wake up from their nap.
Glacier Bay Cove
11:39:59 Glacier Kittens
Both you and Dutch get well soon
123 I don't know
11:39:33 123/Screamin Eagle
Get well soon!
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:39:12 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
eugh
hope you get better soon
Ellsworths Eden
11:38:57 
Me and Dutch are sick. :(
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:38:03 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
didn't know there was such an alert 'till now
Brolor Clan
11:37:07 
NEWBIE alert!
Hello from Ontario CANADA!
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:36:47 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
sore, got thrown off my horse yesterday DX
Blue Diamond
11:36:04 Bluey
Pretty good, how about you?

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White Wolf Stables
11:55:08 WWolf
Could be better, could be worse. Got a new horse in real life, he is great
Nirvany
11:53:50 Ari
Good how about you? :}
White Wolf Stables
11:53:31 WWolf
How have you been? :)
Nirvany
11:52:56 Ari
Heya White Wolf!
White Wolf Stables
11:52:39 WWolf
Hi Ari!
Painted Perfection
11:49:50 Luna
Hey Brolor, nice to meet you. Just wanted to ask you if you made your avi or if you got it done?
Corazon
11:44:19 
Welcome to HEE Brolor :)
Ranch Lands Training
11:43:46 Lilly/PON Addict
My daughter had a cold turn sinus infection. I came up with a head cold right as she was getting better and I gave it to my husband
Nirvany
11:43:07 Ari
Heya people! <3
Ellsworths Eden
11:42:31 
I've been sick since last Saturday. Dutch just got sick today. I'm pretty sure it's just a nasty cold. (No fever)
Ranch Lands Training
11:41:35 Lilly/PON Addict
Everyone seems to be sick right now. If it's not one thing it's another
Ellsworths Eden
11:41:06 
Thank you! I'll let them know when they wake up from their nap.
Glacier Bay Cove
11:39:59 Glacier Kittens
Both you and Dutch get well soon
123 I don't know
11:39:33 123/Screamin Eagle
Get well soon!
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:39:12 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
eugh
hope you get better soon
Ellsworths Eden
11:38:57 
Me and Dutch are sick. :(
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:38:03 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
didn't know there was such an alert 'till now
Brolor Clan
11:37:07 
NEWBIE alert!
Hello from Ontario CANADA!
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:36:47 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
sore, got thrown off my horse yesterday DX
Blue Diamond
11:36:04 Bluey
Pretty good, how about you?

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
Give Award
Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3982
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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