Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Summer   
$: 0
Forecast: Fog Early followed by Afternoon Showers
Forecast:
Wed 03:54pm  
Stables Online:  133 
Chatbox
Pentagram Stables
03:51:49 Penta - KNNs
Angel - are the new batch from the usual supplier ?
Versailles
03:47:59 Versa
Thank you Wolf! <3

Angel,
Oh noooo. :( Wishing them the best, even if things aren't looking great at the moment <3
Wolf Dancer
03:47:41 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Angel
Oh no!
MakeEm Fancy
03:47:13 Ally 💜
Ohhh
-HEE Click-
Angels angels
03:47:07 [1k+ brindles] Angel
My boss at the pet store ordered a bunch of new reptiles that just came in and some of them are not doing good at all. A baby crestie already didn't make it and one of the ball pythons can't even hold his head up. Also the baby blue tounge skink is not well.
Wolf Dancer
03:47:06 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Yay Versa! Congrats!!!
Versailles
03:34:46 Versa
Thank you! <3
Tenebris Hollow
03:33:43 Aris/Quinn
Congrats Versa!
Versailles
03:32:29 Versa
Dude calls me while I'm busy and his voicemail is just simply, "Victoria, we need to talk. Call me back. Thanks."

Called him back and he just wants to promote me to a specialist in animal care. I'm gleeful now lol
Versailles
03:30:37 Versa
My manager just gave me the biggest heart attack lol
Rosevale Crest
03:29:35 Aris/Quinn | i/sh
The Varnish kinda ruins his coat :( -HEE Click-
Lucky
03:27:14 luvky
Penta, hopefully it goes alright when the time comes lol
BlackRose
03:25:59 Stella
I’m becoming overrun by white foals xD
Pentagram Stables
03:25:36 Penta - KNNs
looks promising Lucky
Lucky
03:22:31 luvky
Hmmmm... -HEE Click-
Pentagram Stables
03:21:57 Penta - KNNs
Everyone's sense of humor is different
<shrugs>
BlackRose
03:20:30 Stella
New model xD
Minerva
03:19:57 Min
Yeah, new model required xD
BlackRose
03:18:02 Stella
Might have to take my human pet back to the rescue at this point. Imma say he bit me or barked at the postman
Minerva
03:17:09 Min
Can't relate- I avoid having a pet human xD The dogs don't usually laugh at my jokes either though

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Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
Pentagram Stables
03:51:49 Penta - KNNs
Angel - are the new batch from the usual supplier ?
Versailles
03:47:59 Versa
Thank you Wolf! <3

Angel,
Oh noooo. :( Wishing them the best, even if things aren't looking great at the moment <3
Wolf Dancer
03:47:41 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Angel
Oh no!
MakeEm Fancy
03:47:13 Ally 💜
Ohhh
-HEE Click-
Angels angels
03:47:07 [1k+ brindles] Angel
My boss at the pet store ordered a bunch of new reptiles that just came in and some of them are not doing good at all. A baby crestie already didn't make it and one of the ball pythons can't even hold his head up. Also the baby blue tounge skink is not well.
Wolf Dancer
03:47:06 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Yay Versa! Congrats!!!
Versailles
03:34:46 Versa
Thank you! <3
Tenebris Hollow
03:33:43 Aris/Quinn
Congrats Versa!
Versailles
03:32:29 Versa
Dude calls me while I'm busy and his voicemail is just simply, "Victoria, we need to talk. Call me back. Thanks."

Called him back and he just wants to promote me to a specialist in animal care. I'm gleeful now lol
Versailles
03:30:37 Versa
My manager just gave me the biggest heart attack lol
Rosevale Crest
03:29:35 Aris/Quinn | i/sh
The Varnish kinda ruins his coat :( -HEE Click-
Lucky
03:27:14 luvky
Penta, hopefully it goes alright when the time comes lol
BlackRose
03:25:59 Stella
I’m becoming overrun by white foals xD
Pentagram Stables
03:25:36 Penta - KNNs
looks promising Lucky
Lucky
03:22:31 luvky
Hmmmm... -HEE Click-
Pentagram Stables
03:21:57 Penta - KNNs
Everyone's sense of humor is different
<shrugs>
BlackRose
03:20:30 Stella
New model xD
Minerva
03:19:57 Min
Yeah, new model required xD
BlackRose
03:18:02 Stella
Might have to take my human pet back to the rescue at this point. Imma say he bit me or barked at the postman
Minerva
03:17:09 Min
Can't relate- I avoid having a pet human xD The dogs don't usually laugh at my jokes either though

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
Give Award
Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3984
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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