Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 202   Season: Spring   
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Vahana Hollow
04:07:37 Val
-HEE Click-

Popping this little suggestion here. :)
Angel Warmblood Stud
03:53:29 Angel
-HEE Click-
Darn - so close
Blacknight Legend
03:49:26 Knightie
Not long ago I ran into an old classmate she asked if I graduated I said no
Blacknight Legend
03:47:42 Knightie
I hated the school and the people in it
Maco Stables
03:46:58 Maco
That sucks
Blacknight Legend
03:45:50 Knightie
Once a student gets suspended then they cannot attend prom
Blacknight Legend
03:45:03 Knightie
Unfortunately I couldn't attend anyway due to my suspensions
Angels angels
03:43:54 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Anyone on do wild bay TB
Maco Stables
03:43:26 Maco
Just say F you to peer pressure
Maco Stables
03:42:04 Maco
You can still attend partys without indulging alcohol
Blacknight Legend
03:39:21 Knightie
Luckily I made the choice not to attend prom
Blacknight Legend
03:38:43 Knightie
I knew a few classmates who were arrested on prom night in 2004 and 2005 for drinking and driving
Maco Stables
03:37:14 Maco
But why were the kids taken away?
Nightingales Ridge
03:34:59 𔓘 Issy
I knew a family torn apart because of drink driving. Two women with 2 kids but biologically only to the woman who was killed by a drunk driver. Kids were taken and legal battle ensued. Poor lady lost her wife and 'her' kids. I lost touch with what happened in the end.
Nightingales Ridge
03:30:33 𔓘 Issy
Knightie the background threw me...I thought he had a nose glitch
Blacknight Legend
03:27:30 Knightie
-HEE Click-
Now if I could take this guy and bring him to life
Blacknight Legend
03:22:55 Knightie
I never met his dad but his mom used to sell baked goods at field day at my elementary schools
Blacknight Legend
03:21:46 Knightie
I feel bad for his kids
Angels angels
03:21:28 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Im sorry for his family but i have zero empathy for people who choose to get behind the wheel after drinking.
esme equines stable
03:21:14 Sporkel
knightie-

I'm sorry for there bad decisions

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Chatbox
Vahana Hollow
04:07:37 Val
-HEE Click-

Popping this little suggestion here. :)
Angel Warmblood Stud
03:53:29 Angel
-HEE Click-
Darn - so close
Blacknight Legend
03:49:26 Knightie
Not long ago I ran into an old classmate she asked if I graduated I said no
Blacknight Legend
03:47:42 Knightie
I hated the school and the people in it
Maco Stables
03:46:58 Maco
That sucks
Blacknight Legend
03:45:50 Knightie
Once a student gets suspended then they cannot attend prom
Blacknight Legend
03:45:03 Knightie
Unfortunately I couldn't attend anyway due to my suspensions
Angels angels
03:43:54 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Anyone on do wild bay TB
Maco Stables
03:43:26 Maco
Just say F you to peer pressure
Maco Stables
03:42:04 Maco
You can still attend partys without indulging alcohol
Blacknight Legend
03:39:21 Knightie
Luckily I made the choice not to attend prom
Blacknight Legend
03:38:43 Knightie
I knew a few classmates who were arrested on prom night in 2004 and 2005 for drinking and driving
Maco Stables
03:37:14 Maco
But why were the kids taken away?
Nightingales Ridge
03:34:59 𔓘 Issy
I knew a family torn apart because of drink driving. Two women with 2 kids but biologically only to the woman who was killed by a drunk driver. Kids were taken and legal battle ensued. Poor lady lost her wife and 'her' kids. I lost touch with what happened in the end.
Nightingales Ridge
03:30:33 𔓘 Issy
Knightie the background threw me...I thought he had a nose glitch
Blacknight Legend
03:27:30 Knightie
-HEE Click-
Now if I could take this guy and bring him to life
Blacknight Legend
03:22:55 Knightie
I never met his dad but his mom used to sell baked goods at field day at my elementary schools
Blacknight Legend
03:21:46 Knightie
I feel bad for his kids
Angels angels
03:21:28 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Im sorry for his family but i have zero empathy for people who choose to get behind the wheel after drinking.
esme equines stable
03:21:14 Sporkel
knightie-

I'm sorry for there bad decisions

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
Give Award
Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4069
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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