Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Fall   
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Forecast: Moderate Temperatures and Overcast
Forecast:
Tue 10:33am  
Stables Online:  100 
Chatbox
The Old Gods
10:26:38 Void Malign
Yey. Site survey done. Looking at probably 2 weeks or so before they start work
Munchkin Stables
10:25:51 Munn - PONs
cloud - sure is. Now I can afford some good studs for RO
Cloud Peak Stables
10:23:32 Cloud
Congrats Munn. It's a good feeling isn't it?
Munchkin Stables
10:20:10 Munn - PONs
So happy, finally passed the 2 million mark.
Tenebris Hollow
10:07:36 Aris/Quinn
im so stoked its looking amazing so far
-Click-
Ravenwood Farm
10:04:45 
RF is a birch

I like using medallions from quests. That way if it goes bad, it feels like I didn't lose anything
Vancouver
10:02:34 Ana / Van
I had one RO where I svenned two exactly the same match right after each other, the first one was a WWW, the second EEE. Love that RF xD
Circle Star RIDs
10:01:53 Granny C
I only use glass now. They seem to work for me.
Ravenwood Farm
10:00:12 
It must be so awful when svenned matches flop, since so much is put into them
Angels angels
09:54:39 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Items in general hate me
Ravenwood Farm
09:52:35 
Oh, how come? :0
Angels angels
09:49:19 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Nice! I will never use a sven again lol
Ravenwood Farm
09:36:01 
I just saved up enough for my first sven! Although I won't use it until february at least, if the girl it's meant for ends up deserving of it
Running R Ranch
09:34:58 RRR (Jo)
Now I just have to bravery test this guy *.*
-HEE Click-
Running R Ranch
09:32:52 RRR (Jo)
Sweet, finally got her bravery tested *.*
-HEE Click-
BlackRose
09:29:07 Stella
To be fair I don think I have many Xs either. I think 5 at most which is shocking because I’m always breeding random things xD
Angels angels
09:28:45 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Lol
I have everything I need for RO, but I need 400k on RO for some straws I reserved and breeding fees
Vancouver
09:27:44 Ana / Van
Angel
Aww such a shame
I'm so happy I won a sven in the Christmas trivia because otherwise I couldn’t have afforded one xD
Angels angels
09:26:08 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I probably won't but we will see lol
I am struggling to save for RO so

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Chatbox
The Old Gods
10:26:38 Void Malign
Yey. Site survey done. Looking at probably 2 weeks or so before they start work
Munchkin Stables
10:25:51 Munn - PONs
cloud - sure is. Now I can afford some good studs for RO
Cloud Peak Stables
10:23:32 Cloud
Congrats Munn. It's a good feeling isn't it?
Munchkin Stables
10:20:10 Munn - PONs
So happy, finally passed the 2 million mark.
Tenebris Hollow
10:07:36 Aris/Quinn
im so stoked its looking amazing so far
-Click-
Ravenwood Farm
10:04:45 
RF is a birch

I like using medallions from quests. That way if it goes bad, it feels like I didn't lose anything
Vancouver
10:02:34 Ana / Van
I had one RO where I svenned two exactly the same match right after each other, the first one was a WWW, the second EEE. Love that RF xD
Circle Star RIDs
10:01:53 Granny C
I only use glass now. They seem to work for me.
Ravenwood Farm
10:00:12 
It must be so awful when svenned matches flop, since so much is put into them
Angels angels
09:54:39 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Items in general hate me
Ravenwood Farm
09:52:35 
Oh, how come? :0
Angels angels
09:49:19 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Nice! I will never use a sven again lol
Ravenwood Farm
09:36:01 
I just saved up enough for my first sven! Although I won't use it until february at least, if the girl it's meant for ends up deserving of it
Running R Ranch
09:34:58 RRR (Jo)
Now I just have to bravery test this guy *.*
-HEE Click-
Running R Ranch
09:32:52 RRR (Jo)
Sweet, finally got her bravery tested *.*
-HEE Click-
BlackRose
09:29:07 Stella
To be fair I don think I have many Xs either. I think 5 at most which is shocking because I’m always breeding random things xD
Angels angels
09:28:45 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Lol
I have everything I need for RO, but I need 400k on RO for some straws I reserved and breeding fees
Vancouver
09:27:44 Ana / Van
Angel
Aww such a shame
I'm so happy I won a sven in the Christmas trivia because otherwise I couldn’t have afforded one xD
Angels angels
09:26:08 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I probably won't but we will see lol
I am struggling to save for RO so

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3991
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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