Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 202   Season: Spring   
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Forecast: Evening Thunderstorms, Hail Possible
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Thu 05:13pm  
Stables Online:  124 
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Tranquil Valley
05:10:52 Dimmed | X
Ooh very nice Luna
WildWind Equestrians
05:09:23 Wild
Thanks Issy
Nightingales Ridge
05:08:29 𔓘 Issy
He's very cute
WildWind Equestrians
05:06:20 Wild
-HEE Click-
he was well worth 5k... I am still in awe. he is so pretty too...
Nightingales Ridge
05:04:15 𔓘 Issy
4 month regression is real holy smokes it's been rough lol. I don't think I can handle too many nights like that again. I feel like an overfried egg
Nightingales Ridge
05:02:48 𔓘 Issy
Than*
Nightingales Ridge
05:01:02 𔓘 Issy
Lol fang ah well better then spats :D
Moonrose Magic
05:00:30 🎀 Diva
Dimm from my new purchase
-HEE Click-
Mythological
04:42:41 RIP-Tim:2016-26
The oldest chicken flock is in front on the barn. There are four cats in the barn...
Dimmed
04:40:33 Dimmy
Savy If Sunday goes missing don't check my barn
Dimmed
04:38:43 Dimmy
Savadosaaa
Whitewolf
04:38:37 Fang
Knowing someone took the effort to block all of my accounts is nuts. Oh well. I’m sorry to any of you who I may have offended at some point for whatever reason :)
Nightmare Wolf
04:29:51 Fang
Or not. All well, maybe I’ll grab geldings later. No motivation anyway. Lol
Sunstone Elite
04:29:42 Sun/Sunny
I actually have 4 freshman next month over here but I don’t have high hopes for the others lol
Nightmare Wolf
04:28:00 Fang
I bought a Jack straw already too so if you think that might be okay I can send it ;)
Nightmare Wolf
04:27:30 Fang
Hooray, I needed more geldings for this account. Lol
~Savy~
04:27:10 Sav
Jack could be a fun one with his D/Spl/prl
The Old Gods
04:26:56 Void Malign
Well, that was a mildly satisfying cull
Sunstone Elite
04:26:42 Sun/Sunny
Thanks! I’m hoping so…Lyra debuting was a huge TB milestone for me and I’m really needing a good boy over here. The let downs have been so sad this last year
Ravenwood Farm
04:25:56 Raven
Thanks, Sav! I'm really hoping so

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Tranquil Valley
05:10:52 Dimmed | X
Ooh very nice Luna
WildWind Equestrians
05:09:23 Wild
Thanks Issy
Nightingales Ridge
05:08:29 𔓘 Issy
He's very cute
WildWind Equestrians
05:06:20 Wild
-HEE Click-
he was well worth 5k... I am still in awe. he is so pretty too...
Nightingales Ridge
05:04:15 𔓘 Issy
4 month regression is real holy smokes it's been rough lol. I don't think I can handle too many nights like that again. I feel like an overfried egg
Nightingales Ridge
05:02:48 𔓘 Issy
Than*
Nightingales Ridge
05:01:02 𔓘 Issy
Lol fang ah well better then spats :D
Moonrose Magic
05:00:30 🎀 Diva
Dimm from my new purchase
-HEE Click-
Mythological
04:42:41 RIP-Tim:2016-26
The oldest chicken flock is in front on the barn. There are four cats in the barn...
Dimmed
04:40:33 Dimmy
Savy If Sunday goes missing don't check my barn
Dimmed
04:38:43 Dimmy
Savadosaaa
Whitewolf
04:38:37 Fang
Knowing someone took the effort to block all of my accounts is nuts. Oh well. I’m sorry to any of you who I may have offended at some point for whatever reason :)
Nightmare Wolf
04:29:51 Fang
Or not. All well, maybe I’ll grab geldings later. No motivation anyway. Lol
Sunstone Elite
04:29:42 Sun/Sunny
I actually have 4 freshman next month over here but I don’t have high hopes for the others lol
Nightmare Wolf
04:28:00 Fang
I bought a Jack straw already too so if you think that might be okay I can send it ;)
Nightmare Wolf
04:27:30 Fang
Hooray, I needed more geldings for this account. Lol
~Savy~
04:27:10 Sav
Jack could be a fun one with his D/Spl/prl
The Old Gods
04:26:56 Void Malign
Well, that was a mildly satisfying cull
Sunstone Elite
04:26:42 Sun/Sunny
Thanks! I’m hoping so…Lyra debuting was a huge TB milestone for me and I’m really needing a good boy over here. The let downs have been so sad this last year
Ravenwood Farm
04:25:56 Raven
Thanks, Sav! I'm really hoping so

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4069
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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