Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Winter   
$: 0
Forecast: Sunshine with a Solar Eclipse
Forecast:
Wed 06:53pm  
Stables Online:  129 
Chatbox
fire
06:51:55 
green acres you there
Ryn Equestrian
06:48:49  ryn ୨୧
Oh
full moon
06:47:02 usagi
@coca-cola
marching tuba. if ven's husband is outside and doing hacky sack since its marching season, he should join a marching band
Wild Island PONs
06:46:55 Ly/Lyra
I found my old gameboy color at my moms house the other day and the nostalgia hit so hard. I wish we could go back in time .-.
Wild Island PONs
06:45:52 Ly/Lyra
Ryn its pretty much just a small bead filled ball you kick back and forth lol
full moon
06:45:34 usagi
its fun. we did it for a field day one year
Kryptonite Knoll
06:45:17 Coca~Cola
suzzaphones?
Wild Island PONs
06:45:13 Ly/Lyra
I thought Hacky Sack died lol. I havent heard of that since i was a kid
fire
06:45:03 
ryn same
Ryn Equestrian
06:43:45  ryn ୨୧
I’ve never heard of hacky sack
full moon
06:43:23 usagi
that is awesome. next your husband should come to marching band. We need some more suzzaphones.
Green Acres
06:43:04 Gia
Ven, wow, haven’t heard hacky sack in years. I’m nostalgic now
Stormsong Manor
06:42:10 Ven
I thought it died with my era
Stormsong Manor
06:41:46 Ven
The world is healing. A bunch of kids got my husband to play hacky sack by saying "you still got it, old man??" then shared that not only do they play, but that it's huge and they have rankings between different schools
fire
06:41:26 
same
fire
06:41:18 
usgai
fire
06:41:05 
-HEE Click-
and waiting for your club contest to end to win
full moon
06:40:57 usagi
guess who just marched for an hour and a half?
Green Acres
06:40:42 Gia
Nice, fire! I just got premium on my KNN side account so that’s been a struggle lol.

Hoping my wild WWWs do well 🤞
fire
06:39:36 
i just wantr to breed sojme horses i bought staws now i am ready to go
got a eww ready to use next ro on both acounts

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Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
fire
06:51:55 
green acres you there
Ryn Equestrian
06:48:49  ryn ୨୧
Oh
full moon
06:47:02 usagi
@coca-cola
marching tuba. if ven's husband is outside and doing hacky sack since its marching season, he should join a marching band
Wild Island PONs
06:46:55 Ly/Lyra
I found my old gameboy color at my moms house the other day and the nostalgia hit so hard. I wish we could go back in time .-.
Wild Island PONs
06:45:52 Ly/Lyra
Ryn its pretty much just a small bead filled ball you kick back and forth lol
full moon
06:45:34 usagi
its fun. we did it for a field day one year
Kryptonite Knoll
06:45:17 Coca~Cola
suzzaphones?
Wild Island PONs
06:45:13 Ly/Lyra
I thought Hacky Sack died lol. I havent heard of that since i was a kid
fire
06:45:03 
ryn same
Ryn Equestrian
06:43:45  ryn ୨୧
I’ve never heard of hacky sack
full moon
06:43:23 usagi
that is awesome. next your husband should come to marching band. We need some more suzzaphones.
Green Acres
06:43:04 Gia
Ven, wow, haven’t heard hacky sack in years. I’m nostalgic now
Stormsong Manor
06:42:10 Ven
I thought it died with my era
Stormsong Manor
06:41:46 Ven
The world is healing. A bunch of kids got my husband to play hacky sack by saying "you still got it, old man??" then shared that not only do they play, but that it's huge and they have rankings between different schools
fire
06:41:26 
same
fire
06:41:18 
usgai
fire
06:41:05 
-HEE Click-
and waiting for your club contest to end to win
full moon
06:40:57 usagi
guess who just marched for an hour and a half?
Green Acres
06:40:42 Gia
Nice, fire! I just got premium on my KNN side account so that’s been a struggle lol.

Hoping my wild WWWs do well 🤞
fire
06:39:36 
i just wantr to breed sojme horses i bought staws now i am ready to go
got a eww ready to use next ro on both acounts

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
Give Award
Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4061
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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