Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Fall   
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Forecast: Evening Thunderstorms, Hail Possible
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Glacier Bay Cove
12:03:01 Glacier Kittens
If you need anything, my PM is always open
Transformers Acres
11:59:42 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Glacier

It's fine, I'll handle it. Maybe.
Glacier Bay Cove
11:58:34 Glacier Kittens
Oh, crap, I am so very sorry to hear that
Transformers Acres
11:55:36 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Glacier

Yesterday was my paternal grandfather's 75th birthday, but Friday will be the 1 year anniversary of his death. He died three days after his birthday.
Glacier Bay Cove
11:54:18 Glacier Kittens
Oh no, what happened, Geek
Transformers Acres
11:53:28 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Yesterday was a bad day for me, and Friday's gonna be an even worse day for me.


Rip my pillows, they finna be soaked from crying.
Glacier Bay Cove
11:50:53 Glacier Kittens
Hopefully I will have it done by Friday or Saturday night
Elite Equine Stables
11:45:32 Honey
Geek

Ok! I will...
Transformers Acres
11:44:28 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Chira

As he should.

Honey

Do itttt
Hellion Ridge
11:41:57 Chiral | ToTo Chaser
Michael Crichton is spinning in his grave
Elite Equine Stables
11:41:29 Honey
Geek

I'll have to look into it!
Transformers Acres
11:40:31 Geek, Greek Yogurt
And Ben. I like Ben.
Transformers Acres
11:40:21 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Honey

It's just my opinion, you might like it. :)

The only thing I liked was the dinosaurs/prehistoric creatures.
Elite Equine Stables
11:40:04 Honey
Fern
Very lucky!
Elite Equine Stables
11:39:39 Honey
Geek

Oh no! Sounds not too good!
Glacier Bay Cove
11:39:33 Glacier Kittens
Wish me luck, I’m attempting to draw/paint a Tobiano horse now
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:37:56 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
honey
lol random ass match xD
Transformers Acres
11:37:51 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Honey

Kenji and Brooklynn annoyed the fuck out of me, Darius acted like a wannabe (in my opinion), Yaz was too competitive, and Sammy did what? Emotional support? They all ignored poor Ben, treated the dinos/creatures like shit.
Elite Equine Stables
11:37:37 Honey
Cool fern!
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:36:52 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
ayyy
-HEE Click-
lets goo

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Chatbox
Glacier Bay Cove
12:03:01 Glacier Kittens
If you need anything, my PM is always open
Transformers Acres
11:59:42 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Glacier

It's fine, I'll handle it. Maybe.
Glacier Bay Cove
11:58:34 Glacier Kittens
Oh, crap, I am so very sorry to hear that
Transformers Acres
11:55:36 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Glacier

Yesterday was my paternal grandfather's 75th birthday, but Friday will be the 1 year anniversary of his death. He died three days after his birthday.
Glacier Bay Cove
11:54:18 Glacier Kittens
Oh no, what happened, Geek
Transformers Acres
11:53:28 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Yesterday was a bad day for me, and Friday's gonna be an even worse day for me.


Rip my pillows, they finna be soaked from crying.
Glacier Bay Cove
11:50:53 Glacier Kittens
Hopefully I will have it done by Friday or Saturday night
Elite Equine Stables
11:45:32 Honey
Geek

Ok! I will...
Transformers Acres
11:44:28 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Chira

As he should.

Honey

Do itttt
Hellion Ridge
11:41:57 Chiral | ToTo Chaser
Michael Crichton is spinning in his grave
Elite Equine Stables
11:41:29 Honey
Geek

I'll have to look into it!
Transformers Acres
11:40:31 Geek, Greek Yogurt
And Ben. I like Ben.
Transformers Acres
11:40:21 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Honey

It's just my opinion, you might like it. :)

The only thing I liked was the dinosaurs/prehistoric creatures.
Elite Equine Stables
11:40:04 Honey
Fern
Very lucky!
Elite Equine Stables
11:39:39 Honey
Geek

Oh no! Sounds not too good!
Glacier Bay Cove
11:39:33 Glacier Kittens
Wish me luck, I’m attempting to draw/paint a Tobiano horse now
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:37:56 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
honey
lol random ass match xD
Transformers Acres
11:37:51 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Honey

Kenji and Brooklynn annoyed the fuck out of me, Darius acted like a wannabe (in my opinion), Yaz was too competitive, and Sammy did what? Emotional support? They all ignored poor Ben, treated the dinos/creatures like shit.
Elite Equine Stables
11:37:37 Honey
Cool fern!
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:36:52 Fern/fref/ferf/nerf
ayyy
-HEE Click-
lets goo

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
Give Award
Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3989
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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