Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 199   Season: Spring   
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Forecast: Cool - A Front is Moving In
Forecast:
Sun 06:51pm  
Stables Online:  204 
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FirstLightFarms
06:51:54 puck
That's so rude of them :(
Angels angels
06:51:50 [1k+ brindles] Angel
If it makes you feel any better my dun frame match dodged both lol
Motonemi
06:51:17 AL, mum to Nemi
Yeah, tbs did a "AL doesnt do dun" on me
FirstLightFarms
06:50:15 puck
Oh no Al :(
Motonemi
06:49:59 AL, mum to Nemi
I am still mad about the www tb colt that dodged dun on both sides :(
FirstLightFarms
06:49:23 puck
lol thank you! I guess I can't be too mad hahaha
AKMU Wings
06:47:38 Dae/TN
puck Ill take him dont worry! lmao hes a cutie though, hope he trains well!
FirstLightFarms
06:46:32 puck
-HEE Click-
You couldn't be a filly??
Bingus Acres
06:37:59 Bin/Bingus
breeding two whites together can also result in lethal white
Frozen Spirit
06:37:25 
ill a have to start looking now
Frozen Spirit
06:37:06 
oh i never really look at frame and that stuff i mostly randomly breed tryna breed very pretty horses
Angels angels
06:36:02 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Text speak..
Spartan_Silverwood
06:36:00 Gurl
It's part of why there's so little frame in at least wb I think. Because it's too risky to breed frame x frame
alo vera farms
06:35:47 
can you pull straws on a 18 yr old?
Spartan_Silverwood
06:35:24 Gurl
Frame x frame has a 25% chance of producing lethal foals
Frozen Spirit
06:34:38 
oh dident know that but now ik also i just breed this pretty colt -HEE Click-
Narran Park
06:33:49 Sting
I am soo tired of the Game shop.
How long do i need to wait for a Sven...to what benefit.
Ranch Lands Training
06:33:28 Lilly/PON Addict
Frozen - Breeding two frames together can result in a lethal white
Frozen Spirit
06:32:46 
im still decently new to the game
Frozen Spirit
06:32:26 
i breed a lethal white foal and it passed away and idk how i breed it i was just randomly breeding my horses:/

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FirstLightFarms
06:51:54 puck
That's so rude of them :(
Angels angels
06:51:50 [1k+ brindles] Angel
If it makes you feel any better my dun frame match dodged both lol
Motonemi
06:51:17 AL, mum to Nemi
Yeah, tbs did a "AL doesnt do dun" on me
FirstLightFarms
06:50:15 puck
Oh no Al :(
Motonemi
06:49:59 AL, mum to Nemi
I am still mad about the www tb colt that dodged dun on both sides :(
FirstLightFarms
06:49:23 puck
lol thank you! I guess I can't be too mad hahaha
AKMU Wings
06:47:38 Dae/TN
puck Ill take him dont worry! lmao hes a cutie though, hope he trains well!
FirstLightFarms
06:46:32 puck
-HEE Click-
You couldn't be a filly??
Bingus Acres
06:37:59 Bin/Bingus
breeding two whites together can also result in lethal white
Frozen Spirit
06:37:25 
ill a have to start looking now
Frozen Spirit
06:37:06 
oh i never really look at frame and that stuff i mostly randomly breed tryna breed very pretty horses
Angels angels
06:36:02 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Text speak..
Spartan_Silverwood
06:36:00 Gurl
It's part of why there's so little frame in at least wb I think. Because it's too risky to breed frame x frame
alo vera farms
06:35:47 
can you pull straws on a 18 yr old?
Spartan_Silverwood
06:35:24 Gurl
Frame x frame has a 25% chance of producing lethal foals
Frozen Spirit
06:34:38 
oh dident know that but now ik also i just breed this pretty colt -HEE Click-
Narran Park
06:33:49 Sting
I am soo tired of the Game shop.
How long do i need to wait for a Sven...to what benefit.
Ranch Lands Training
06:33:28 Lilly/PON Addict
Frozen - Breeding two frames together can result in a lethal white
Frozen Spirit
06:32:46 
im still decently new to the game
Frozen Spirit
06:32:26 
i breed a lethal white foal and it passed away and idk how i breed it i was just randomly breeding my horses:/

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4022
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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