Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Winter   
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esme equines stable
12:59:47 
me when I worry I look like a wall
Echo Creek
12:58:50 Echo | River
Like It's over, he won't come knocking on my door saying "hey you were on my property" It's over with, but I'm still worrying about it
esme equines stable
12:57:38 
oh I've never done that when everything ha consequences for me Xp
Echo Creek
12:57:00 Echo | River
Esme
I worry about everything that won't (probably) have a consequence
esme equines stable
12:56:11 
what's that?
DSD Training Center
12:54:58 Spring <3
Echo,
Me too xD
esme equines stable
12:54:43 
wha~
Echo Creek
12:54:21 Echo | River
I'm a worry wort
esme equines stable
12:52:21 
I'm never serious tho so
esme equines stable
12:51:58 
idk but I'm a Alaskian,city,counry girl so idk
esme equines stable
12:49:38 
that's true most do hunting
DSD Training Center
12:49:38 Spring <3
Esme,
It can be serious sometimes 🥲 that time I was hunting and I 100% did not have permission so skedaddled out of there once I realized xD. Honestly I blame my dad for that
Echo Creek
12:48:49 Echo | River
Spring
I think out in the middle of the woods we have that stereotype that old men will always be armed xD
esme equines stable
12:47:51 
well if theres no private property sign then don't sweat it
DSD Training Center
12:47:31 Spring <3
Echo,
I feel you on that one. I accidently went onto an old guys property and I was 99% sure I was gonna get shot or smt T^T
Echo Creek
12:45:51 Echo | River
Esme
XD I'm just so pissed at myself for being so amazed by the bushes or something that I didn't realise I was on someone elses property 🫣
esme equines stable
12:43:50 
lol
esme equines stable
12:43:46 
or mb
esme equines stable
12:43:36 
I would have said well wheres the sign bucko
Echo Creek
12:41:46 Echo | River
I feel so guilty so quick storytime because I need to tell someone haha

So I went exploring in the woods today, we moved into our new place not too long ago so I'm still figuring out the area, I went past where I usually go in our yard and found a nice trail and kept going and then I heard an older guy yell, I turned around and saw a house and I had went off our property line, he said "you know you're on my property" and instead of saying sorry like a normal person and getting out of there I just stood there like a stick for about 10 seconds before walking away, now I know where my property line is but I feel bad for the guy.

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esme equines stable
12:59:47 
me when I worry I look like a wall
Echo Creek
12:58:50 Echo | River
Like It's over, he won't come knocking on my door saying "hey you were on my property" It's over with, but I'm still worrying about it
esme equines stable
12:57:38 
oh I've never done that when everything ha consequences for me Xp
Echo Creek
12:57:00 Echo | River
Esme
I worry about everything that won't (probably) have a consequence
esme equines stable
12:56:11 
what's that?
DSD Training Center
12:54:58 Spring <3
Echo,
Me too xD
esme equines stable
12:54:43 
wha~
Echo Creek
12:54:21 Echo | River
I'm a worry wort
esme equines stable
12:52:21 
I'm never serious tho so
esme equines stable
12:51:58 
idk but I'm a Alaskian,city,counry girl so idk
esme equines stable
12:49:38 
that's true most do hunting
DSD Training Center
12:49:38 Spring <3
Esme,
It can be serious sometimes 🥲 that time I was hunting and I 100% did not have permission so skedaddled out of there once I realized xD. Honestly I blame my dad for that
Echo Creek
12:48:49 Echo | River
Spring
I think out in the middle of the woods we have that stereotype that old men will always be armed xD
esme equines stable
12:47:51 
well if theres no private property sign then don't sweat it
DSD Training Center
12:47:31 Spring <3
Echo,
I feel you on that one. I accidently went onto an old guys property and I was 99% sure I was gonna get shot or smt T^T
Echo Creek
12:45:51 Echo | River
Esme
XD I'm just so pissed at myself for being so amazed by the bushes or something that I didn't realise I was on someone elses property 🫣
esme equines stable
12:43:50 
lol
esme equines stable
12:43:46 
or mb
esme equines stable
12:43:36 
I would have said well wheres the sign bucko
Echo Creek
12:41:46 Echo | River
I feel so guilty so quick storytime because I need to tell someone haha

So I went exploring in the woods today, we moved into our new place not too long ago so I'm still figuring out the area, I went past where I usually go in our yard and found a nice trail and kept going and then I heard an older guy yell, I turned around and saw a house and I had went off our property line, he said "you know you're on my property" and instead of saying sorry like a normal person and getting out of there I just stood there like a stick for about 10 seconds before walking away, now I know where my property line is but I feel bad for the guy.

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4060
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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