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Sweet Valley
03:24:16 SweetValley Palettes
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forgot to add this as well, auction of cool colored horses!
Sweet Valley
03:23:34 SweetValley Palettes
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Please bid, very cheap SB! Garunteed to work on mobile and a warranty to say that if it ecer goes wonky in an update that I have the original piece1
HermitAcres
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-HEE Click- WWW filly in auction
QualitySH
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-HEE Click- 3 WWW horses in auction lowest Bid is 200k
Moonhaven Stables
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*check out my sales barn! I have high-quality horses for sale at low prices!
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*make sure to check out my item shop as well! I have excellent good customer discounts!
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Painted Perfection
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Need gone !!!! Free Capture Passes!!
NightClan
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Rabi TBLB stud up for 201!
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Mentally Un-Stable
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Looking for a KNN Breeding partner
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Nightshade Ranch
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ISO black chestnuts
Willow Kiss Stables
02:43:31 Hannah
2 ISH Mare Embryos for April. Between the two of them, they have only produced WWW foals!! ABLB

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WWE Mare for sale!
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Sweet Valley
03:24:16 SweetValley Palettes
-HEE Click-

forgot to add this as well, auction of cool colored horses!
Sweet Valley
03:23:34 SweetValley Palettes
-HEE Click-

Please bid, very cheap SB! Garunteed to work on mobile and a warranty to say that if it ecer goes wonky in an update that I have the original piece1
HermitAcres
03:18:18 Hermit
-HEE Click- WWW filly in auction
QualitySH
03:16:36 
-HEE Click- 3 WWW horses in auction lowest Bid is 200k
Moonhaven Stables
03:14:59 Estelle
-HEE Click-
*check out my sales barn! I have high-quality horses for sale at low prices!
-HEE Click-
* here is my stud barn! Make sure to check it out because I have some EEE+ studs!
-HEE Click-
*here is my broodmare barn! Keep a careful eye on these ladies because they go fast!
-HEE Click-
*make sure to check out my item shop as well! I have excellent good customer discounts!
-HEE Click-
*Take a look at my current auction! Always rated and lots of color!
Painted Perfection
03:02:51 Selling Stuff
-HEE Click-

Need gone !!!! Free Capture Passes!!
NightClan
03:00:29 Night
Rabi TBLB stud up for 201!
-HEE Click-
Mentally Un-Stable
02:58:38 Chey
Looking for a KNN Breeding partner
-HEE Click-
Nightshade Ranch
02:57:24 
ISO black chestnuts
Willow Kiss Stables
02:43:31 Hannah
2 ISH Mare Embryos for April. Between the two of them, they have only produced WWW foals!! ABLB

-HEE Click-

WWE Mare for sale!
-HEE Click-

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4038
#980598
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Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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