Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 200   Season: Spring   
$: 0
Forecast: Morning Drizzle, but Clearing later
Forecast:
Sat 04:42am  
Stables Online:  42 
Chatbox
Lunalovegood
02:43:56 Loony/Loony Tune
Oh my days, What the hell -HEE Click-

Disappointed 😞
Oaksdale
02:40:15 ~Willow~
is that brown on her hind part of the grey coat, or part of the bloody shoulder marking?
-HEE Click-
Golden Sun Stables*
02:31:05 
-HEE Click-
Totally forgot about her XD
fire
02:13:44 
chats slow
Phantom Echoes
01:37:04 Winniefried | Win
-HEE Click-

Oh, a wild -0-
River
12:26:43 ♡ River
Darn, I made this really funny video of myself and I'm too lazy to cover it up xD
Whisper Creek Ranch
12:25:12 
Your face is considered "personal information" regarding the rules, so no it'd have to be covered
Gem
12:24:47 Gem
Faces must be covered River :)
River
12:22:18 ♡ River
Can we show videos of ourselves or do we still have to keep our faces covered? I thought it was only for other people because you didn't have their consent
Gaelic Gladiacres
12:06:15 Gladius
LOL
Nightingales Ridge
12:06:00 𔓘 Issy
Goose behavior
Gaelic Gladiacres
12:02:39 Gladius
and I was only doing it because I started earlier then came back to it to just "finish up" before bed...and the time rolls over so I think it changed the horses anyway. RIP lol
Nightingales Ridge
12:01:56 𔓘 Issy
Dang that sucks
Gaelic Gladiacres
12:01:19 Gladius
not me doing genetics practice and forgetting to copy all my answers before hitting submit because the page was going to time out...
Gaelic Gladiacres
12:00:59 Gladius
issy - :D
full moon
11:55:32 usagi
wanted a white one
-HEE Click-
Nightingales Ridge
11:52:38 𔓘 Issy
Shhoo Gladius shoo
Arrohbel Edhellin
11:39:17 Arroh
No, futurity points can only be gained from regular shows
full moon
11:37:25 usagi
can i get futurity points showing in member shows?
Ravenmoon Estate
11:36:31 Raven
>:( why did you have to have that rating with the type of appaloosa I don't want. RUDE.

-HEE Click-

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Chatbox
Lunalovegood
02:43:56 Loony/Loony Tune
Oh my days, What the hell -HEE Click-

Disappointed 😞
Oaksdale
02:40:15 ~Willow~
is that brown on her hind part of the grey coat, or part of the bloody shoulder marking?
-HEE Click-
Golden Sun Stables*
02:31:05 
-HEE Click-
Totally forgot about her XD
fire
02:13:44 
chats slow
Phantom Echoes
01:37:04 Winniefried | Win
-HEE Click-

Oh, a wild -0-
River
12:26:43 ♡ River
Darn, I made this really funny video of myself and I'm too lazy to cover it up xD
Whisper Creek Ranch
12:25:12 
Your face is considered "personal information" regarding the rules, so no it'd have to be covered
Gem
12:24:47 Gem
Faces must be covered River :)
River
12:22:18 ♡ River
Can we show videos of ourselves or do we still have to keep our faces covered? I thought it was only for other people because you didn't have their consent
Gaelic Gladiacres
12:06:15 Gladius
LOL
Nightingales Ridge
12:06:00 𔓘 Issy
Goose behavior
Gaelic Gladiacres
12:02:39 Gladius
and I was only doing it because I started earlier then came back to it to just "finish up" before bed...and the time rolls over so I think it changed the horses anyway. RIP lol
Nightingales Ridge
12:01:56 𔓘 Issy
Dang that sucks
Gaelic Gladiacres
12:01:19 Gladius
not me doing genetics practice and forgetting to copy all my answers before hitting submit because the page was going to time out...
Gaelic Gladiacres
12:00:59 Gladius
issy - :D
full moon
11:55:32 usagi
wanted a white one
-HEE Click-
Nightingales Ridge
11:52:38 𔓘 Issy
Shhoo Gladius shoo
Arrohbel Edhellin
11:39:17 Arroh
No, futurity points can only be gained from regular shows
full moon
11:37:25 usagi
can i get futurity points showing in member shows?
Ravenmoon Estate
11:36:31 Raven
>:( why did you have to have that rating with the type of appaloosa I don't want. RUDE.

-HEE Click-

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4038
#980598
Give Award
Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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