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God is Mighty Stable
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Port Royal Equines
02:32:50 Elfie
-HEE Click-
EEE broods for 2k!

-HEE Click-
EEE-E+ ISH Bravery Sire thread.
Watercolored
01:14:27 WC
-HEE Click-

20+ horses just added to the already HUNDREDS of horses for sale!!
Prices as low as $350
Ratings, color, and colorful ratings!
Hayes Family Ranch
12:25:16 Fallon
Tons of World Class Producer Stallions up for Stud! Best prices you'll find, come check them out! Need Ebs! -HEE Click-

Tons of items for sale in my shop as well.

Tons of horses for sale! Open to offers on all of them! -HEE Click-
The Joker
12:24:32 Ari <3
Shiny broods!
-HEE Click-
Eagles Peak
12:18:42 
- WWW SHLB Studs: -HEE Click-
- Watch-To-Win Straws: -HEE Click-
- SH Broods: -HEE Click-
- SH Focused Club: -HEE Click-

Painted Perfection
09:56:55 Selling Stuff
-HEE Click-

Selling 400 leveled geldings. Most are level 2 or higher. Priced 1k per level

I need them gone desperately! Please and thank you!!


Sexed embryo fillies in my shop
-HEE Click-
God is Mighty Stable
09:56:54 Willow~KNN & PON
-HEE Click-
Setting free gorgeous quest foals
700ebs
you can FR them next year for 1k
Chantilly Royale
09:43:53 Elfie
-HEE Click-
Elysian Meadows
09:26:01 
5 straws left! -HEE Click-
SandWitch Arabians
09:12:16 Witchypoo
Selling AA Mares & Stallions
All rated EEE
Some mares are still unbred.
-HEE Click-

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1207
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 4016
#980598
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Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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