Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Spring   
$: 0
Forecast: Showers Off and On
Forecast:
Tue 04:05pm  
Stables Online:  182 
Chatbox
Wolf Dancer
04:00:49 Wolf Burger (Leg)
WWW AA Silver 2 year old for sale! 350k or best offer :)
-HEE Click-
Boulder Creek
03:54:30 
Take a minute to check out this great Art Contest:

Off To The Races:
Over-It Jumper Stakes
-HEE Click-

It's Color-In Lineart - so no crazy art skills needed. Anyone can submit an entry. It's super easy and fun.
Florestä
03:49:37 MBC🥸
WWW TB stud for sale, considering any offers!
-HEE Click-
Grand View Farms
03:32:40 Cora
-HEE Click-

WWW RID needs testing
Summit Stables
03:29:12 Summit
3yo WWW SH stallion for sale. 600k. His dad is the #3 ABLB stallion. Has potential. Has produced WW foals. -HEE Click-

WWW KNN colt for sale. 1.3 mil. He has great potential. Willing to take offers on him as well. He is 1/1 color. -HEE Click-
Luna the husky
03:23:32 Luna
Thinking of switching breeds, will take offers on everything. Pm me :)
Angels angels
03:15:10 Will Buy Brindles!!
-HEE Click-
EEE color AA, TB, and WB foals for 5k!
Also taking offers on some EWE combo color mares in there of the same breeds!
Ravenveil Equestrian
03:08:07 Val | Raven
-HEE Click-
EEE+ TBs for sale for cheap!
Vahana
03:05:08 Val
-HEE Click-
EEE+ and E SD Mares for sale! Some have super nice colours!
Massbay
03:04:57 MB
-HEE Click-

WEE combo SH/X studs for sale, some color!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



Rules   Hide
You are in: Sales
View Main Chat
Quests

Embark on a Quest.

Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
Wolf Dancer
04:00:49 Wolf Burger (Leg)
WWW AA Silver 2 year old for sale! 350k or best offer :)
-HEE Click-
Boulder Creek
03:54:30 
Take a minute to check out this great Art Contest:

Off To The Races:
Over-It Jumper Stakes
-HEE Click-

It's Color-In Lineart - so no crazy art skills needed. Anyone can submit an entry. It's super easy and fun.
Florestä
03:49:37 MBC🥸
WWW TB stud for sale, considering any offers!
-HEE Click-
Grand View Farms
03:32:40 Cora
-HEE Click-

WWW RID needs testing
Summit Stables
03:29:12 Summit
3yo WWW SH stallion for sale. 600k. His dad is the #3 ABLB stallion. Has potential. Has produced WW foals. -HEE Click-

WWW KNN colt for sale. 1.3 mil. He has great potential. Willing to take offers on him as well. He is 1/1 color. -HEE Click-
Luna the husky
03:23:32 Luna
Thinking of switching breeds, will take offers on everything. Pm me :)
Angels angels
03:15:10 Will Buy Brindles!!
-HEE Click-
EEE color AA, TB, and WB foals for 5k!
Also taking offers on some EWE combo color mares in there of the same breeds!
Ravenveil Equestrian
03:08:07 Val | Raven
-HEE Click-
EEE+ TBs for sale for cheap!
Vahana
03:05:08 Val
-HEE Click-
EEE+ and E SD Mares for sale! Some have super nice colours!
Massbay
03:04:57 MB
-HEE Click-

WEE combo SH/X studs for sale, some color!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






Refresh


Forums

→ Horse Eden is a fun game! Sign Up Now!

My Subscriptions
My Bookmarks
My Topics
Latest Topics
Following

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
Give Award
This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Refresh