Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Summer   
$: 0
Forecast: Hot and Dry
Forecast:
Tue 05:50pm  
Stables Online:  128 
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The Old Gods
05:41:13 Void Malign
-HEE Click-
Gemstone Stable
05:31:55 Snow❆Gem
@eury

Nice! :D I picture a plant version of hungry hippos. lol
Gemstone Stable
05:30:51 Snow❆Gem
@blaze

Ah, yeah. As long as he's not homo, its not too bad. ;P
The Old Gods
05:30:11 Void Malign
Found a new use for my wildly overpopulating albino springtails: sundew and Pinguicula food
Gemstone Stable
05:28:24 Snow❆Gem
@hobo

Oh yeah. One of the things I don't look forward too if I ever get livestock. O.o
Twin Flames
05:26:16 Blaze
Gem
I am a bid sad about the roan but he's kinda cute xD
Hobo Queens Farm
05:21:00 Her Majesty
Its 5 degrees outside. I sure wish my livestock could feed and water themselves tonight...
Gemstone Stable
05:17:36 Snow❆Gem
@blaze

Oh! WWW KNN boy! I shy away from roan, but if he has awesome training I might be tempted. ;p lol
Twin Flames
05:15:15 Blaze
forgot that I bred you earlier when I was half asleep :D -HEE Click-
Ginny Pancakes
05:09:37 
uhm....."i'm a warmblood when I look at you".......thanks???💀
Snow Stable
05:04:55 Snow❆Gem
Your Groom blushes and smiles gleefully at you.

says: how about a dinner later? I know a place...
Snow Stable
05:03:36 Snow❆Gem
The Groom frowns at you...

OK, I'll try to flirt another way. ;P
Wolf Dancer
04:54:55 Wolf Burger (Leg)
5 up is insane!
Wolf Dancer
04:54:44 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Keo
I'm for sure going to have to steal a straw to him!
Nordic Designs
04:53:45 Keonah
Thank you wolf 😭😭
Nordic Designs
04:53:29 Keonah
If I had to chose one thing to be excited for it would be the wk10. I'm doubtful but cautiously hopeful for a scopey boy . If he's scopey he might not ever see wk11 as I might truely pass away 🤣🤣
Wolf Dancer
04:52:15 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Keo
OMG congrats o Vehgars 7!
Rubygem
04:50:24 Asha-Star
Well bye have fun!
Rubygem
04:48:59 Asha-Star
-HEE Click-
She looks stunning
After Dark RID
04:44:20 Drafty
Definitely a boy worth tweakin' over! Not a KNN person but still very interested in what his week 10 will be *.*

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Chatbox
The Old Gods
05:41:13 Void Malign
-HEE Click-
Gemstone Stable
05:31:55 Snow❆Gem
@eury

Nice! :D I picture a plant version of hungry hippos. lol
Gemstone Stable
05:30:51 Snow❆Gem
@blaze

Ah, yeah. As long as he's not homo, its not too bad. ;P
The Old Gods
05:30:11 Void Malign
Found a new use for my wildly overpopulating albino springtails: sundew and Pinguicula food
Gemstone Stable
05:28:24 Snow❆Gem
@hobo

Oh yeah. One of the things I don't look forward too if I ever get livestock. O.o
Twin Flames
05:26:16 Blaze
Gem
I am a bid sad about the roan but he's kinda cute xD
Hobo Queens Farm
05:21:00 Her Majesty
Its 5 degrees outside. I sure wish my livestock could feed and water themselves tonight...
Gemstone Stable
05:17:36 Snow❆Gem
@blaze

Oh! WWW KNN boy! I shy away from roan, but if he has awesome training I might be tempted. ;p lol
Twin Flames
05:15:15 Blaze
forgot that I bred you earlier when I was half asleep :D -HEE Click-
Ginny Pancakes
05:09:37 
uhm....."i'm a warmblood when I look at you".......thanks???💀
Snow Stable
05:04:55 Snow❆Gem
Your Groom blushes and smiles gleefully at you.

says: how about a dinner later? I know a place...
Snow Stable
05:03:36 Snow❆Gem
The Groom frowns at you...

OK, I'll try to flirt another way. ;P
Wolf Dancer
04:54:55 Wolf Burger (Leg)
5 up is insane!
Wolf Dancer
04:54:44 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Keo
I'm for sure going to have to steal a straw to him!
Nordic Designs
04:53:45 Keonah
Thank you wolf 😭😭
Nordic Designs
04:53:29 Keonah
If I had to chose one thing to be excited for it would be the wk10. I'm doubtful but cautiously hopeful for a scopey boy . If he's scopey he might not ever see wk11 as I might truely pass away 🤣🤣
Wolf Dancer
04:52:15 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Keo
OMG congrats o Vehgars 7!
Rubygem
04:50:24 Asha-Star
Well bye have fun!
Rubygem
04:48:59 Asha-Star
-HEE Click-
She looks stunning
After Dark RID
04:44:20 Drafty
Definitely a boy worth tweakin' over! Not a KNN person but still very interested in what his week 10 will be *.*

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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