Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Fall   
$: 0
Forecast: Heavy Downpours, Flood Warning
Forecast:
Tue 01:18pm  
Stables Online:  124 
Chatbox
Red Hill Hollow
01:18:31 Red, Hollow
Gren,
You have snakes? That’s so cool! Shame though, I’ve heard they can be pains to get to eat. Wishing you luck <3
Whitewolf
01:18:25 Fang
Unfortunately a rather common name that can literally be spelled 100s of way as well 😂
Red Hill Hollow
01:17:55 Red, Hollow
Oh well nice to meet you Kaitlin haha
Yeah I think we can share names, just not pics and stuff
Whitewolf
01:17:47 Fang
That always sucks lol I made an official me email around the same time so luckily I have that one XD
Nightingales Ridge
01:17:37 𔓘 Issy
Red that's my middle name!!
Greenheart Stables
01:17:14 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
@Red
One of my Ball Pythons, I got 5 Ball Pythons and 1 Cali King Snake
Whitewolf
01:17:07 Fang
Well my name is Kaitlin by the way - I assume it’s ok to share that - I know I got in trouble for sharing a 19 year old photo of me and a deer 😂
Red Hill Hollow
01:16:51 Red, Hollow
Oh yes so is mine haha but I have to keep it bc all my government stuff gets emailed to there rip
Whitewolf
01:16:09 Fang
That’s cute though lol I still have the email I made for it too and let me tell you it’s full of spam XD
Red Hill Hollow
01:14:46 Red, Hollow
Lila Wolf sounds pretty
Perfect then haha
My name for everything used to be Sophie Horse lol bc my name is Sophie and I love horses. Lila Wolf has a better wring to it though haha
Whitewolf
01:13:37 Fang
Lila Wolf has been my pen name since 5th grade. I love the name Lila and I love wolves lol
Red Hill Hollow
01:13:25 Red, Hollow
Gren,
Who’s JuJu? :0
Greenheart Stables
01:12:53 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
I give up 😭 juju can have this win because this is just getting pitiful trying to entice her to eat
Red Hill Hollow
01:12:18 Red, Hollow
Hahah it’s ok, even literary genius’s make typos sometimes
Whitewolf
01:12:13 Fang
I’m thankful for Google Docs for having some of my poetry and I have tons on both my iPads. I need to go back through and read it
Whitewolf
01:11:34 Fang
Guys* damn it where did my literature go 😂
Red Hill Hollow
01:11:29 Red, Hollow
It’s very cool! You’re very talented:) you should definitely write some more!
Whitewolf
01:11:21 Fang
Thank you guy <3 I don’t even remember what all ones I had published in our magazine but I always remember that one and it’s how I feel at the moment lol
Nightingales Ridge
01:10:43 𔓘 Issy
Ooo you are talented Fang!
Whitewolf
01:10:02 Fang
I did and I feel like it’s fitting at the moment lol
I love writing it for sure. That one is in my college literature magazine, not that like public or cool but I thought it was lol

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



Rules   Hide
You are in: Main Chat
View Sales Chat
Quests

Embark on a Quest.

Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
Red Hill Hollow
01:18:31 Red, Hollow
Gren,
You have snakes? That’s so cool! Shame though, I’ve heard they can be pains to get to eat. Wishing you luck <3
Whitewolf
01:18:25 Fang
Unfortunately a rather common name that can literally be spelled 100s of way as well 😂
Red Hill Hollow
01:17:55 Red, Hollow
Oh well nice to meet you Kaitlin haha
Yeah I think we can share names, just not pics and stuff
Whitewolf
01:17:47 Fang
That always sucks lol I made an official me email around the same time so luckily I have that one XD
Nightingales Ridge
01:17:37 𔓘 Issy
Red that's my middle name!!
Greenheart Stables
01:17:14 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
@Red
One of my Ball Pythons, I got 5 Ball Pythons and 1 Cali King Snake
Whitewolf
01:17:07 Fang
Well my name is Kaitlin by the way - I assume it’s ok to share that - I know I got in trouble for sharing a 19 year old photo of me and a deer 😂
Red Hill Hollow
01:16:51 Red, Hollow
Oh yes so is mine haha but I have to keep it bc all my government stuff gets emailed to there rip
Whitewolf
01:16:09 Fang
That’s cute though lol I still have the email I made for it too and let me tell you it’s full of spam XD
Red Hill Hollow
01:14:46 Red, Hollow
Lila Wolf sounds pretty
Perfect then haha
My name for everything used to be Sophie Horse lol bc my name is Sophie and I love horses. Lila Wolf has a better wring to it though haha
Whitewolf
01:13:37 Fang
Lila Wolf has been my pen name since 5th grade. I love the name Lila and I love wolves lol
Red Hill Hollow
01:13:25 Red, Hollow
Gren,
Who’s JuJu? :0
Greenheart Stables
01:12:53 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
I give up 😭 juju can have this win because this is just getting pitiful trying to entice her to eat
Red Hill Hollow
01:12:18 Red, Hollow
Hahah it’s ok, even literary genius’s make typos sometimes
Whitewolf
01:12:13 Fang
I’m thankful for Google Docs for having some of my poetry and I have tons on both my iPads. I need to go back through and read it
Whitewolf
01:11:34 Fang
Guys* damn it where did my literature go 😂
Red Hill Hollow
01:11:29 Red, Hollow
It’s very cool! You’re very talented:) you should definitely write some more!
Whitewolf
01:11:21 Fang
Thank you guy <3 I don’t even remember what all ones I had published in our magazine but I always remember that one and it’s how I feel at the moment lol
Nightingales Ridge
01:10:43 𔓘 Issy
Ooo you are talented Fang!
Whitewolf
01:10:02 Fang
I did and I feel like it’s fitting at the moment lol
I love writing it for sure. That one is in my college literature magazine, not that like public or cool but I thought it was lol

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






Refresh


Forums

→ Horse Eden is a fun game! Sign Up Now!

My Subscriptions
My Bookmarks
My Topics
Latest Topics
Following

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
Give Award
This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Refresh