Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 196   Season: Fall   
$: 0
Forecast: Hurricane ! Follow Evacuation Routes.
Forecast:
Thu 08:50pm  
Stables Online:  116 
Chatbox
Starlight Forest
08:45:10 Star✨
Same, I'm pretty excited :3
Glacier Bay Cove
08:43:21 Glacier Kittens
Can’t wait to see what future updates Eve has planned for HEE
Starlight Forest
08:41:47 Star✨
I created a race :3
Cataclysm
08:38:10 Not Cata / Cataclysm
Alright
Starlight Forest
08:37:33 Star✨
Cataclysm
Crap I forgot I entered a race with another person 0-0
AMORTENTIA.
08:37:30 
-HEE Click-
Equine Center RP <3 Spots filling up quickly, come fill in an application form!
Cataclysm
08:37:00 Not Cata / Cataclysm
Whenever you're ready ^^
Starlight Forest
08:34:00 Star✨
Star

Heheheh, I bet 100k EB that my horse will win (just kidding)
Starlight Forest
08:33:27 Star✨
Jericho

I told Blue Page Stables that she didn't have to say in the chat that they replied :3
Cataclysm
08:33:09 Not Cata / Cataclysm
Star
It should be up I think ^^
Can try to find a lower one too if that suits better :P
Jericho Stables
08:32:42 
And chat isn’t for letting someone know to check their mail. It’s in the rules ;D
Starlight Forest
08:32:37 Star✨
Cataclysm
Ooooh me please!
Cataclysm
08:32:05 Not Cata / Cataclysm
anyone wanna race?
Starlight Forest
08:28:22 Star✨
It's okay, don't apologise! :3
Blue Page Farms
08:28:01 
oh sorry sorry loll
Starlight Forest
08:27:06 Star✨
Blue Page Farms

You know you don't have to tell me every time, I get a reply when you mail me :3
Blue Page Farms
08:26:14 
I sent you a chat star!
Starlight Forest
08:22:43 Star✨
Greek Yogurt
Okay, thank you! :3
Blue Page Farms
08:20:01 
I sent you the next chat star!
Transformers Acres
08:19:06 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Star

I can help with that, if you'd like. I like helping out new players.

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



Rules   Hide
You are in: Main Chat
View Sales Chat
Quests

Embark on a Quest.

Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
Starlight Forest
08:45:10 Star✨
Same, I'm pretty excited :3
Glacier Bay Cove
08:43:21 Glacier Kittens
Can’t wait to see what future updates Eve has planned for HEE
Starlight Forest
08:41:47 Star✨
I created a race :3
Cataclysm
08:38:10 Not Cata / Cataclysm
Alright
Starlight Forest
08:37:33 Star✨
Cataclysm
Crap I forgot I entered a race with another person 0-0
AMORTENTIA.
08:37:30 
-HEE Click-
Equine Center RP <3 Spots filling up quickly, come fill in an application form!
Cataclysm
08:37:00 Not Cata / Cataclysm
Whenever you're ready ^^
Starlight Forest
08:34:00 Star✨
Star

Heheheh, I bet 100k EB that my horse will win (just kidding)
Starlight Forest
08:33:27 Star✨
Jericho

I told Blue Page Stables that she didn't have to say in the chat that they replied :3
Cataclysm
08:33:09 Not Cata / Cataclysm
Star
It should be up I think ^^
Can try to find a lower one too if that suits better :P
Jericho Stables
08:32:42 
And chat isn’t for letting someone know to check their mail. It’s in the rules ;D
Starlight Forest
08:32:37 Star✨
Cataclysm
Ooooh me please!
Cataclysm
08:32:05 Not Cata / Cataclysm
anyone wanna race?
Starlight Forest
08:28:22 Star✨
It's okay, don't apologise! :3
Blue Page Farms
08:28:01 
oh sorry sorry loll
Starlight Forest
08:27:06 Star✨
Blue Page Farms

You know you don't have to tell me every time, I get a reply when you mail me :3
Blue Page Farms
08:26:14 
I sent you a chat star!
Starlight Forest
08:22:43 Star✨
Greek Yogurt
Okay, thank you! :3
Blue Page Farms
08:20:01 
I sent you the next chat star!
Transformers Acres
08:19:06 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Star

I can help with that, if you'd like. I like helping out new players.

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






Refresh


Forums

→ Horse Eden is a fun game! Sign Up Now!

My Subscriptions
My Bookmarks
My Topics
Latest Topics
Following

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
Give Award
This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Refresh