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MakeEm Fancy
01:46:51 Ally 💜
EWW mare 100k
-HEE Click-
Alaskan Anchor
01:40:12 
WWW ISH Freshman straws yr 200

-HEE Click-
Legacy Equine Stable
01:37:51 Ester
-HEE Click-
2 EEE ISH mares for sale
Running springs
01:35:57 RS
WWE stallion for breeding or sale (limited time)
Offer your price
-HEE Click-
Whispering Wood Barn
01:31:29 ~Whispy~
Embryos
-HEE Click-
Pagani
01:25:56 Ani | Ant 🐜
-HEE Click-
New adopts for sale!!
Port Royal Equines
01:15:14 ISO Brave EWW ISH
-HEE Click-
EEE+ Broodmares at 3k. Bravery mares included! Some are W producers.,

-HEE Click-
Colored Captures, Sexed Embryos, Maps, Decor, and more! All items have been discounted.
Moonbird Magic
01:10:45 🛸Divaaa
beautiful EWW AA colt, less than 100k
-HEE Click-
Fluffy's Cosy Home
01:04:11 Fluffy
I have:
*WWW/WW Straws
*Studs
*Items in my store
*Decors
*Sale horses
-HEE Click-
Indiana Peaches
12:59:21 Indi
EEE+ Mares for brood!
ALL Shiny! All TB!
-HEE Click-

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

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Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

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Posts: 0
#826307
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High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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