Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Summer   
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Running R Ranch
04:20:59 RRR (Jo)
I know there's still a couple of weeks, but I'm so excited for these girls' week 4s *.*
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
Rising Stars Stable
04:19:03 Willow ~ AA Breeder
-HEE Click-
Soooo pretty
BlackRose
04:18:26 Stella
Quick question, can I photoshop and use photoshop to put together a profile photo on here?
BlackRose
04:17:57 Stella
I love frogs xD
The Joker
04:16:24 Ari <3
-HEE Click-
Wolf Dancer
04:15:20 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Ugh my Bible got ruined :(
River
04:14:33 ♡ River
Can someone send me a stock combo please?
The Joker
04:13:12 Ari <3
Speaking of the Christmas trivia though the next prize sneak peek is about to go live...
BlackRose
04:10:42 Stella
Thank you!!
River
04:10:37 ♡ River
Ari
Ahh okay, thanks!
The Joker
04:10:17 Ari <3
River
No, the Christmas one is on the 20th
The Joker
04:10:04 Ari <3
8 PM GameTime!
River
04:10:00 ♡ River
Ari
Is it the Christmas one?
BlackRose
04:09:49 Stella
Oh what time!
The Joker
04:09:29 Ari <3
Who's all coming to trivia tonight? :D
Sunflowerz
04:05:06 
Storm I am insane haha, I climb into the dumpster at work one night.
Someone threw away brand new fishing rods 2 bows with arrows a hand made barn, I can't remember anything else.
Bioshock Manor
04:03:50 Storm
Thats insane
Sunflowerz
04:02:48 
Storm they have a lot of locations, I know we had at least 3 in nc. We might have had more, I used to work the one in Lowell. I had a 98 hours once. The big dogs where so mad because that was the second time.
I was under 18 to so technically XD
But I was home schooling.
Bioshock Manor
04:01:15 Storm
Didn't know they were outside of Ga
Sunflowerz
04:00:44 
I worked Pineville once nice location bad dishwashing pit tho.

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Running R Ranch
04:20:59 RRR (Jo)
I know there's still a couple of weeks, but I'm so excited for these girls' week 4s *.*
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
Rising Stars Stable
04:19:03 Willow ~ AA Breeder
-HEE Click-
Soooo pretty
BlackRose
04:18:26 Stella
Quick question, can I photoshop and use photoshop to put together a profile photo on here?
BlackRose
04:17:57 Stella
I love frogs xD
The Joker
04:16:24 Ari <3
-HEE Click-
Wolf Dancer
04:15:20 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Ugh my Bible got ruined :(
River
04:14:33 ♡ River
Can someone send me a stock combo please?
The Joker
04:13:12 Ari <3
Speaking of the Christmas trivia though the next prize sneak peek is about to go live...
BlackRose
04:10:42 Stella
Thank you!!
River
04:10:37 ♡ River
Ari
Ahh okay, thanks!
The Joker
04:10:17 Ari <3
River
No, the Christmas one is on the 20th
The Joker
04:10:04 Ari <3
8 PM GameTime!
River
04:10:00 ♡ River
Ari
Is it the Christmas one?
BlackRose
04:09:49 Stella
Oh what time!
The Joker
04:09:29 Ari <3
Who's all coming to trivia tonight? :D
Sunflowerz
04:05:06 
Storm I am insane haha, I climb into the dumpster at work one night.
Someone threw away brand new fishing rods 2 bows with arrows a hand made barn, I can't remember anything else.
Bioshock Manor
04:03:50 Storm
Thats insane
Sunflowerz
04:02:48 
Storm they have a lot of locations, I know we had at least 3 in nc. We might have had more, I used to work the one in Lowell. I had a 98 hours once. The big dogs where so mad because that was the second time.
I was under 18 to so technically XD
But I was home schooling.
Bioshock Manor
04:01:15 Storm
Didn't know they were outside of Ga
Sunflowerz
04:00:44 
I worked Pineville once nice location bad dishwashing pit tho.

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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