Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Spring   
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Stables Online:  226 
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Nightingales Ridge
03:30:43 𔓘 Issy
Brave breeding has been worse this RO than the last! Oh dear
Rubygem-Chenya
03:30:19 Ruby/Cheshire
The blanket for year 200 is a nice color
The Feral Equine
03:29:22 Khaos
-HEE Click-
Slight obsessed
Star Hooves Stable
03:29:09 gen! ☆
I don't have the watch list option Gladius
MellowMares
03:26:08 
thank you! ^_^
Gaelic Gladiacres
03:25:31 Gladius
congrats mellow!!! pretty
Gaelic Gladiacres
03:25:18 Gladius
gen - stable > reports > watch list mares/studs
MellowMares
03:24:59 
second W in the books, and a 1/1!!
-HEE Click-
I love my horses
03:24:32 
pretty!!
-HEE Click-
Vecchia Modo
03:24:04 Vecc - TBs
My theory is, at least one of the parents, have to have LpLp . It's very risky to breed two that are Lplp, because the result could be SH.
I don't know genetics very well, just my thoughts.
WhizBar Eventing
03:23:59 Toto
Wooww!
-HEE Click-
Star Hooves Stable
03:23:56 gen! ☆
does anyone know where to view the horses theyve watched?
Versailles
03:22:14 Versa
The gremlins are growing really fast! Already almost double their size from *yesterday* lol
-Click-
California Valley
03:21:14 Cali | Kale | Calz
Suggestions on who to send her to next year
-HEE Click-
Gaelic Gladiacres
03:21:02 Gladius
ugh right san?? the trenches...they're deep...
Santana Rising
03:20:30 San
Bred a bunch of last minute brindles before RO this morning - of course no brindle quest in sight!
Gaelic Gladiacres
03:18:45 Gladius
thanks! :D gotta come up with a good name for her hehe but I'm in the quest rabbit hole because dangit gimme breed and explore quests Gemma now is the perfect timeeeee
Blaze of Glory
03:18:08 Chey
Gladius
Ooh, she is cute!
Gaelic Gladiacres
03:17:33 Gladius
I saw someone share an Aure WWW earlier though, congrats! he looks to be having a good freshie start
Ironhorse
03:17:15 Sting
i CANT believe this has happened to me AGAIN!
Another WWW SH, when it was supposed to be a KNN.

-HEE Click-

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Nightingales Ridge
03:30:43 𔓘 Issy
Brave breeding has been worse this RO than the last! Oh dear
Rubygem-Chenya
03:30:19 Ruby/Cheshire
The blanket for year 200 is a nice color
The Feral Equine
03:29:22 Khaos
-HEE Click-
Slight obsessed
Star Hooves Stable
03:29:09 gen! ☆
I don't have the watch list option Gladius
MellowMares
03:26:08 
thank you! ^_^
Gaelic Gladiacres
03:25:31 Gladius
congrats mellow!!! pretty
Gaelic Gladiacres
03:25:18 Gladius
gen - stable > reports > watch list mares/studs
MellowMares
03:24:59 
second W in the books, and a 1/1!!
-HEE Click-
I love my horses
03:24:32 
pretty!!
-HEE Click-
Vecchia Modo
03:24:04 Vecc - TBs
My theory is, at least one of the parents, have to have LpLp . It's very risky to breed two that are Lplp, because the result could be SH.
I don't know genetics very well, just my thoughts.
WhizBar Eventing
03:23:59 Toto
Wooww!
-HEE Click-
Star Hooves Stable
03:23:56 gen! ☆
does anyone know where to view the horses theyve watched?
Versailles
03:22:14 Versa
The gremlins are growing really fast! Already almost double their size from *yesterday* lol
-Click-
California Valley
03:21:14 Cali | Kale | Calz
Suggestions on who to send her to next year
-HEE Click-
Gaelic Gladiacres
03:21:02 Gladius
ugh right san?? the trenches...they're deep...
Santana Rising
03:20:30 San
Bred a bunch of last minute brindles before RO this morning - of course no brindle quest in sight!
Gaelic Gladiacres
03:18:45 Gladius
thanks! :D gotta come up with a good name for her hehe but I'm in the quest rabbit hole because dangit gimme breed and explore quests Gemma now is the perfect timeeeee
Blaze of Glory
03:18:08 Chey
Gladius
Ooh, she is cute!
Gaelic Gladiacres
03:17:33 Gladius
I saw someone share an Aure WWW earlier though, congrats! he looks to be having a good freshie start
Ironhorse
03:17:15 Sting
i CANT believe this has happened to me AGAIN!
Another WWW SH, when it was supposed to be a KNN.

-HEE Click-

*Desk Flip*

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude squirrelssaid:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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