Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Spring   
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Stables Online:  146 
Chatbox
Lunalovegood
03:21:25 Loony/Loony Tune
As a free account (Couldn't get hold of an upgrade before RO) it's nice to know that you wasted you one breed approval on a EEE
-HEE Click-
Vancouver
03:21:17 Ana / Van
Troy already got two WWWs! Such a good boy :D
Ashcroft Park Stud
03:19:16 Ash
You know, it's been such a struggle getting *anything* out of this mare, I'll take it: -HEE Click-
Lunalovegood
03:18:11 Loony/Loony Tune
Just went onto my stable page... and saw this -HEE Click-
Motonemi
03:17:54 AL, mum to Nemi
-HEE Click-

*shakes mare*
ShiningStar Stables
03:17:44 Chey / Star
The colt curse hit full blast this RO. Three WWWs and they were all colts 😅
QualitySH
03:17:34 
Anyone know when savy usually gets on?
Celtic Ridge
03:17:19 Dimmed | KNN
My RID are the same
Celtic Ridge
03:17:10 Dimmed | KNN
Welp. Back to bed for me.
ArcticLights
03:16:27 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Dino, they have been inspired by my RIDs. First years of love and suddenly bam we hate you
Tobiano Lady
03:15:43 Tobi | 👻
-HEE Click-
:(
ArcticLights
03:15:39 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Ah, yes. Sabino can be annoying
Morning Glory Farms
03:15:35 Dino/Digital Tyrant
KNN have loved me for years and then I got Reina and now they just hate me
Equity Falls
03:14:48 Dimmed | KNN
Trish KNN hate everyone but Tosk
Narran Park
03:14:33 Sting
True Al! that is true..
I spent the last 2 years trying to Avoid Sabino.
ArcticLights
03:14:26 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Trish, I have a standing theory that some breeds simply hate people
Narran Park
03:14:03 Sting
it was the squirrels Trish..
ArcticLights
03:13:49 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Sting, she can still make apricots though
Red Hill Hollow
03:13:23 Red, Hollow
Oof bob had a heart attack
Primal Dawn
03:13:17 MOD/Trish
-HEE Click- WHY why do KNN HATE me so man

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Chatbox
Lunalovegood
03:21:25 Loony/Loony Tune
As a free account (Couldn't get hold of an upgrade before RO) it's nice to know that you wasted you one breed approval on a EEE
-HEE Click-
Vancouver
03:21:17 Ana / Van
Troy already got two WWWs! Such a good boy :D
Ashcroft Park Stud
03:19:16 Ash
You know, it's been such a struggle getting *anything* out of this mare, I'll take it: -HEE Click-
Lunalovegood
03:18:11 Loony/Loony Tune
Just went onto my stable page... and saw this -HEE Click-
Motonemi
03:17:54 AL, mum to Nemi
-HEE Click-

*shakes mare*
ShiningStar Stables
03:17:44 Chey / Star
The colt curse hit full blast this RO. Three WWWs and they were all colts 😅
QualitySH
03:17:34 
Anyone know when savy usually gets on?
Celtic Ridge
03:17:19 Dimmed | KNN
My RID are the same
Celtic Ridge
03:17:10 Dimmed | KNN
Welp. Back to bed for me.
ArcticLights
03:16:27 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Dino, they have been inspired by my RIDs. First years of love and suddenly bam we hate you
Tobiano Lady
03:15:43 Tobi | 👻
-HEE Click-
:(
ArcticLights
03:15:39 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Ah, yes. Sabino can be annoying
Morning Glory Farms
03:15:35 Dino/Digital Tyrant
KNN have loved me for years and then I got Reina and now they just hate me
Equity Falls
03:14:48 Dimmed | KNN
Trish KNN hate everyone but Tosk
Narran Park
03:14:33 Sting
True Al! that is true..
I spent the last 2 years trying to Avoid Sabino.
ArcticLights
03:14:26 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Trish, I have a standing theory that some breeds simply hate people
Narran Park
03:14:03 Sting
it was the squirrels Trish..
ArcticLights
03:13:49 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Sting, she can still make apricots though
Red Hill Hollow
03:13:23 Red, Hollow
Oof bob had a heart attack
Primal Dawn
03:13:17 MOD/Trish
-HEE Click- WHY why do KNN HATE me so man

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude squirrelssaid:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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