Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 200   Season: Winter   
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Forecast:
Tue 11:10am  
Stables Online:  112 
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Ashcroft Park Stud
11:10:45 Ash
Gosh that’s a lot of work, Fawn 🫣 I’d need a reward at the end of that, zero motivation for sorting 😂
Gemstone Stable
11:07:38 Snow❆Gem
@jericho

Ah OK. More technical and you have a choice, but I do work at a grocery store. lol ;P
All Breeds
11:07:36 Fawn
I'm not done yet though. That was between 15 barns so far and I'm culling PEP and lower mares between the ages of 6-17
Jericho Stables
11:06:34 
I have another training tomorrow but that is a set training. We are updating our 40 year old billing system, so training is starting to roll out for that
Minerva
11:06:05 Min
Wow nice one Fawn!
Jericho Stables
11:05:44 
Gem, yeah we have training for our job. But the choice learning is on a subject that we want. Like I just had a career discussion with my manager and there were things I could expand on to potentially look into a different role. Like Microsoft Sharepoint and Excel.
Jericho Stables
11:04:04 
I think I have some mares that need to migrate to the tester barn. But that sounds like a future Jeri problem
The Old Gods
11:03:22 Void Malign
electric and water hook up today
soil test thursday and then they'll install the needed septic stuff based on the results of the soil test.
Gem Queens Estate
11:03:15 Snow❆Gem
@jericho

You have monthly work learning too? mine are basically watching a 3 minute video about the months subject and click that I watched it.
Angels angels
11:03:08 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I need to do a cull
Angels angels
11:02:52 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Fawn
Nice!
All Breeds
11:02:40 Fawn
I've culled 300+ horses in 2 days 😑
Jericho Stables
11:01:15 
Pfftt they added my "choice learning" for April to my schedule for today. I haven't even done my March's yet, that's scheduled for tomorrow.
Minerva
11:01:13 Min
Think I might chuck them onto the rested section to distract them then open all the gates and go back and forth with my car a few times. Technically should have someone in the passenger seat but Im not going to get done for doing a few 250m round trips surely 🤣
Angels angels
11:00:11 [1k+ brindles] Angel
But I don't have the funds for good arts lol
Maybe I can get some this week from showing
Shamrock Equines
10:59:15 Crowley
Geez Min lol
Gem Queens Estate
10:58:49 Snow❆Gem
Kitten just rolled onto my foot and played with my ankle. lol O.o

@bay

Gecko? :D
Insignia Elites
10:57:43 Em
@Angel she definitely does!
Gem Queens Estate
10:57:39 Snow❆Gem
@bay

lol :D
Glacier Bay Cove
10:56:42 Glacier Kittens
Can’t wait to have one of his future grand babies

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



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Ashcroft Park Stud
11:10:45 Ash
Gosh that’s a lot of work, Fawn 🫣 I’d need a reward at the end of that, zero motivation for sorting 😂
Gemstone Stable
11:07:38 Snow❆Gem
@jericho

Ah OK. More technical and you have a choice, but I do work at a grocery store. lol ;P
All Breeds
11:07:36 Fawn
I'm not done yet though. That was between 15 barns so far and I'm culling PEP and lower mares between the ages of 6-17
Jericho Stables
11:06:34 
I have another training tomorrow but that is a set training. We are updating our 40 year old billing system, so training is starting to roll out for that
Minerva
11:06:05 Min
Wow nice one Fawn!
Jericho Stables
11:05:44 
Gem, yeah we have training for our job. But the choice learning is on a subject that we want. Like I just had a career discussion with my manager and there were things I could expand on to potentially look into a different role. Like Microsoft Sharepoint and Excel.
Jericho Stables
11:04:04 
I think I have some mares that need to migrate to the tester barn. But that sounds like a future Jeri problem
The Old Gods
11:03:22 Void Malign
electric and water hook up today
soil test thursday and then they'll install the needed septic stuff based on the results of the soil test.
Gem Queens Estate
11:03:15 Snow❆Gem
@jericho

You have monthly work learning too? mine are basically watching a 3 minute video about the months subject and click that I watched it.
Angels angels
11:03:08 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I need to do a cull
Angels angels
11:02:52 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Fawn
Nice!
All Breeds
11:02:40 Fawn
I've culled 300+ horses in 2 days 😑
Jericho Stables
11:01:15 
Pfftt they added my "choice learning" for April to my schedule for today. I haven't even done my March's yet, that's scheduled for tomorrow.
Minerva
11:01:13 Min
Think I might chuck them onto the rested section to distract them then open all the gates and go back and forth with my car a few times. Technically should have someone in the passenger seat but Im not going to get done for doing a few 250m round trips surely 🤣
Angels angels
11:00:11 [1k+ brindles] Angel
But I don't have the funds for good arts lol
Maybe I can get some this week from showing
Shamrock Equines
10:59:15 Crowley
Geez Min lol
Gem Queens Estate
10:58:49 Snow❆Gem
Kitten just rolled onto my foot and played with my ankle. lol O.o

@bay

Gecko? :D
Insignia Elites
10:57:43 Em
@Angel she definitely does!
Gem Queens Estate
10:57:39 Snow❆Gem
@bay

lol :D
Glacier Bay Cove
10:56:42 Glacier Kittens
Can’t wait to have one of his future grand babies

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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