Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 200   Season: Winter   
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Port Royal Equines
01:39:51 Elfie
I am looking for a french themed name for her.
WildWind Equestrians
01:37:41 Wild
Elfie
*-*
Nightingales Ridge
01:34:38 𔓘 Issy
Elfie *.*
Port Royal Equines
01:29:46 Elfie
-HEE Click-
She's so cute. *-*
Whitewolf
01:29:01 Fang
XD let’s hope it means it’s a sweet horse that produces lots of WWWs
Glacier Bay Cove
01:28:40 Glacier Kittens
Good idea, Zen
Centralia Farms
01:26:33 Zen's KNNs
Oooh maybe I should start a ratings + bravery program -HEE Click-
Oak River Farms
01:26:30 Oakie
Fang, that's gonna be an awesome horse name xD
Whitewolf
01:21:19 Fang
Foreshadowing sugar
Jericho Stables
01:20:16 
HEE doing me a solid lol. I found packet of sugar then had a quest to fetch sugar packets lol
Glacier Bay Cove
01:19:37 Glacier Kittens
Now almost ready for RO, and the capture party
Chat
01:15:09 Tzeentch
-HEE Click- that's a fun look
Astray
01:09:45 Stay |
Looking for a roleplay partner for an Idol x Idol idea I've had. PM me!
Statesman
01:09:20 Sun's Spl TB's
I feel that Ven.
SandWitch Arabians
01:07:33 Witchypoo
Lux - if it was my call, I'd go with a Dressage Med.
Embervale Acres
01:02:33 Solar/Ria
I don't believe so
Storybrooke Hollow
12:57:30 Equilleon
Ello!
Srry had a quick question, is it possible to exclude more than one coat color, when searching for horses?
Lunar Wilds
12:53:15 Lux - AAs
Does this match with a green glass make sense?
-HEE Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
12:44:25 Glacier Kittens
That sounds like a good confusion
Magpie Ridge
12:41:31 Ven | RID
ADHD is great because what do you mean I spent a ton of time putting things into my shop this morning only to have every one of them sell and confuse me with the income when I login again

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Port Royal Equines
01:39:51 Elfie
I am looking for a french themed name for her.
WildWind Equestrians
01:37:41 Wild
Elfie
*-*
Nightingales Ridge
01:34:38 𔓘 Issy
Elfie *.*
Port Royal Equines
01:29:46 Elfie
-HEE Click-
She's so cute. *-*
Whitewolf
01:29:01 Fang
XD let’s hope it means it’s a sweet horse that produces lots of WWWs
Glacier Bay Cove
01:28:40 Glacier Kittens
Good idea, Zen
Centralia Farms
01:26:33 Zen's KNNs
Oooh maybe I should start a ratings + bravery program -HEE Click-
Oak River Farms
01:26:30 Oakie
Fang, that's gonna be an awesome horse name xD
Whitewolf
01:21:19 Fang
Foreshadowing sugar
Jericho Stables
01:20:16 
HEE doing me a solid lol. I found packet of sugar then had a quest to fetch sugar packets lol
Glacier Bay Cove
01:19:37 Glacier Kittens
Now almost ready for RO, and the capture party
Chat
01:15:09 Tzeentch
-HEE Click- that's a fun look
Astray
01:09:45 Stay |
Looking for a roleplay partner for an Idol x Idol idea I've had. PM me!
Statesman
01:09:20 Sun's Spl TB's
I feel that Ven.
SandWitch Arabians
01:07:33 Witchypoo
Lux - if it was my call, I'd go with a Dressage Med.
Embervale Acres
01:02:33 Solar/Ria
I don't believe so
Storybrooke Hollow
12:57:30 Equilleon
Ello!
Srry had a quick question, is it possible to exclude more than one coat color, when searching for horses?
Lunar Wilds
12:53:15 Lux - AAs
Does this match with a green glass make sense?
-HEE Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
12:44:25 Glacier Kittens
That sounds like a good confusion
Magpie Ridge
12:41:31 Ven | RID
ADHD is great because what do you mean I spent a ton of time putting things into my shop this morning only to have every one of them sell and confuse me with the income when I login again

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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