Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Winter   
$: 0
Forecast: Sunny
Forecast:
Thu 10:30pm  
Stables Online:  130 
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Laikaa
10:29:08 Laika
Labubu amazing name
Faithful Stables
10:26:43 Faith
He is handsomeee Gren!
Faithful Stables
10:26:20 Faith
Opinions on this match? I have an INT glass with it

-HEE Click-
Greenheart Stables
10:25:51 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
-HEE Click-
I get to use this guy!
Ryn Equestrian
10:24:54  ryn ୨୧
That’s true
Massbay
10:24:50 MB
-HEE Click-
for reference, his sire is also his grand sire LOL
Pentagram Stables
10:24:39 Penta - KNNs
Inbreeding has no effect in this game
Ryn Equestrian
10:24:30  ryn ୨୧
Honestly I’ll probably still do it 🤧
Faithful Stables
10:24:25 Faith
I am ready yet not ready for RO xP
Massbay
10:23:48 MB
Lol it happens to the best of us
Ryn Equestrian
10:23:32  ryn ୨୧
Noo
Ryn Equestrian
10:23:26  ryn ୨୧
Omg how did I not notice
Massbay
10:23:02 MB
I'd be careful with that one... they share the same sire.
Ryn Equestrian
10:21:56  ryn ୨୧
This is the only match I’m excited for

-HEE Click-

I hope it’s good ^^’
Massbay
10:21:10 MB
-HEE Click-

I'm so excited for her I gotta find her a good one
Two Trees Stables
10:19:40 Willow ~ TB Breeder
I thought it was time to break out the big bucks for her, XD
Nightingales Ridge
10:19:40 𔓘 Issy
That's so funny I was peeping the leaders and saw him too haha
Nightingales Ridge
10:19:17 𔓘 Issy
Lol yes willowww
Two Trees Stables
10:19:16 Willow ~ TB Breeder
Yay!
Nightingales Ridge
10:19:03 𔓘 Issy
NO WAY

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Horse Eden Eventing Game
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Laikaa
10:29:08 Laika
Labubu amazing name
Faithful Stables
10:26:43 Faith
He is handsomeee Gren!
Faithful Stables
10:26:20 Faith
Opinions on this match? I have an INT glass with it

-HEE Click-
Greenheart Stables
10:25:51 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
-HEE Click-
I get to use this guy!
Ryn Equestrian
10:24:54  ryn ୨୧
That’s true
Massbay
10:24:50 MB
-HEE Click-
for reference, his sire is also his grand sire LOL
Pentagram Stables
10:24:39 Penta - KNNs
Inbreeding has no effect in this game
Ryn Equestrian
10:24:30  ryn ୨୧
Honestly I’ll probably still do it 🤧
Faithful Stables
10:24:25 Faith
I am ready yet not ready for RO xP
Massbay
10:23:48 MB
Lol it happens to the best of us
Ryn Equestrian
10:23:32  ryn ୨୧
Noo
Ryn Equestrian
10:23:26  ryn ୨୧
Omg how did I not notice
Massbay
10:23:02 MB
I'd be careful with that one... they share the same sire.
Ryn Equestrian
10:21:56  ryn ୨୧
This is the only match I’m excited for

-HEE Click-

I hope it’s good ^^’
Massbay
10:21:10 MB
-HEE Click-

I'm so excited for her I gotta find her a good one
Two Trees Stables
10:19:40 Willow ~ TB Breeder
I thought it was time to break out the big bucks for her, XD
Nightingales Ridge
10:19:40 𔓘 Issy
That's so funny I was peeping the leaders and saw him too haha
Nightingales Ridge
10:19:17 𔓘 Issy
Lol yes willowww
Two Trees Stables
10:19:16 Willow ~ TB Breeder
Yay!
Nightingales Ridge
10:19:03 𔓘 Issy
NO WAY

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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