Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 202   Season: Spring   
$: 0
Forecast: Tornados ! Run for Cover !
Forecast:
Fri 09:07am  
Stables Online:  232 
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Lilac Heart
09:07:21 Lilac
Just got this boy but wish he was a filly haha -HEE Click-
Green Acres
09:06:45 Gia
Why do my random 5k matches do better than my 500k LOL -HEE Click-
Shady Tree Farm
09:06:43 Shady
She got every bit of color she could xD
Lilac Heart
09:06:12 Lilac
Beautiful Shady!
Dash and Duchess
09:05:16 DD | ~Squizard~
damn shady!!
Stormsong Manor
09:05:05 Ven
Holy shine!
Shady Tree Farm
09:04:50 Shady
Eek! *.*
-HEE Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
09:03:58 Glacier Kittens
I unnamed half of my horses
Hallucination Manor
09:03:56 Gym / HM / Hal
I didn't realize she's #1 BABLB o.o

-HEE Click-
Tenebris Hollow
09:02:58 Aris/Maki
What happened Katz?
Alluring
09:02:35 
I have never been so lucky on a RO like i'm being today lol
The Old Gods
09:01:25 Void Malign
Look, I'm just tired of going through all my barns trying to find the damn horses
Glacier Bay Cove
09:00:35 Glacier Kittens
I made a HORRIBLE mistake yesterday
Palomino Mountain
09:00:32 
WWE on my RID account! -HEE Click-
Gemstone Stable
08:58:44 Snow❆Gem
@eury

LMAO Good write up! XD
Vellum
08:57:46 Vell
-HEE Click-
Gorgeous, and no sabino!
The Old Gods
08:57:40 Void Malign
-HEE Click- obligatory suggestion that I post each RO
Gemstone Stable
08:56:36 Snow❆Gem
@eury

lol :D
Palomino Meadow
08:55:25 
First time breeding anglos and my WWE produced three EEW’s! Two fillies which is real exciting. Already doing way better than my KNN’s I’ve had since last August LOL
The Old Gods
08:55:09 Void Malign
okay. well. that's a problem for future Eury

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Chatbox
Lilac Heart
09:07:21 Lilac
Just got this boy but wish he was a filly haha -HEE Click-
Green Acres
09:06:45 Gia
Why do my random 5k matches do better than my 500k LOL -HEE Click-
Shady Tree Farm
09:06:43 Shady
She got every bit of color she could xD
Lilac Heart
09:06:12 Lilac
Beautiful Shady!
Dash and Duchess
09:05:16 DD | ~Squizard~
damn shady!!
Stormsong Manor
09:05:05 Ven
Holy shine!
Shady Tree Farm
09:04:50 Shady
Eek! *.*
-HEE Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
09:03:58 Glacier Kittens
I unnamed half of my horses
Hallucination Manor
09:03:56 Gym / HM / Hal
I didn't realize she's #1 BABLB o.o

-HEE Click-
Tenebris Hollow
09:02:58 Aris/Maki
What happened Katz?
Alluring
09:02:35 
I have never been so lucky on a RO like i'm being today lol
The Old Gods
09:01:25 Void Malign
Look, I'm just tired of going through all my barns trying to find the damn horses
Glacier Bay Cove
09:00:35 Glacier Kittens
I made a HORRIBLE mistake yesterday
Palomino Mountain
09:00:32 
WWE on my RID account! -HEE Click-
Gemstone Stable
08:58:44 Snow❆Gem
@eury

LMAO Good write up! XD
Vellum
08:57:46 Vell
-HEE Click-
Gorgeous, and no sabino!
The Old Gods
08:57:40 Void Malign
-HEE Click- obligatory suggestion that I post each RO
Gemstone Stable
08:56:36 Snow❆Gem
@eury

lol :D
Palomino Meadow
08:55:25 
First time breeding anglos and my WWE produced three EEW’s! Two fillies which is real exciting. Already doing way better than my KNN’s I’ve had since last August LOL
The Old Gods
08:55:09 Void Malign
okay. well. that's a problem for future Eury

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

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Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

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Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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