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Mulawa Performance
06:07:08 
wtb unrated but lined yearlings
Lunalovegood
05:58:42 Loony
WWW horse giveaway! -HEE Click-
Lunalovegood
05:30:40 Loony
Vote for your favourite!
Royal Mews
05:20:53 Claudia
rated horses for sale, all ages and various colors some are rare
-HEE Click-
Asfamoth
05:08:45 Asfa
-HEE Click-
1 month upgrades, accepting trades. Nearly instant delivery!
Glowing Pines
04:51:15 Howl
-HEE Click-
Art auction! <3
Purestables
04:38:00 
New club calling SH breeders once we hit 20 members huge giveaway including WWW embryos straws art upgrade and so much more!! -HEE Click-
BlackMeadow Pastures
04:27:59 
Brindle KNN for sale! -HEE Click-
Campbell Stud
03:28:04 
-HEE Click-
EEE-P RID colt
Ghostly Model Horses
02:21:08 Skyrim
-HEE Click-
I have some EEE rated mares for sale in this barn at 3,500 ebs each. There's a 1/35 color rated EEE for 6k/

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

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Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

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Posts: 0
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High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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