Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Summer   
$: 0
Forecast: Heavy Downpours, Flood Warning
Forecast:
Sat 06:01am  
Stables Online:  51 
Chatbox
Royale Equestria
05:56:17 Janna
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
Which one is prettier?
Nightingales Ridge
02:33:32 𔓘 Issy
Silver check items in player stores theres many
Silver-Oak Stables
02:30:28 
Does anyone have carrots for sale?
Minerva
02:19:00 Min
Shitting hell
Nightingales Ridge
02:18:00 𔓘 Issy
Yeah. It's going to hit my friends worse further south. They've been smashed by cyclones a few times.m last time his house went under water he video chatted me from his garage roof with his cat and rabbit in cages .-.
Minerva
02:14:16 Min
Ahh that's alright then. Hopefully it passes over quickly too
Nightingales Ridge
02:12:33 𔓘 Issy
I have one and so does mum. Will make do .-. Have my gas cooker which always comes in handy during these days haha
Minerva
02:07:01 Min
Uh oh 😬 Will you be alright without one?
Nightingales Ridge
02:04:46 𔓘 Issy
My brother tried to get a power bank today and they're all sold out because of the coming weather X) sheeit
Nightingales Ridge
01:48:27 𔓘 Issy
Money sink I tell yeee haha
Minerva
01:45:18 Min
I haven't managed that one for ages
Nightingales Ridge
01:43:12 𔓘 Issy
But at least I got that girl from it haha
Nightingales Ridge
01:42:57 𔓘 Issy
It's not looking good ahahaha
Minerva
01:42:14 Min
Good luck Issy!
Nightingales Ridge
01:40:51 𔓘 Issy
Ooo interesting San okay
Nightingales Ridge
01:40:21 𔓘 Issy
I was trying to get the premium leopard palomino quest X)
Santana Rising
01:38:44 San
I bred a WWW once from a WWW x WEE pairing and the dam of the WEE was a WPP wild, so I certainly recommend trying to breed up from her.
Nightingales Ridge
01:37:45 𔓘 Issy
Maco oof that is strong. Yeah it's decent bloody wind still the 130. We have things powered and a gas cooker if needed. Hopefully don't loose power
Santana Rising
01:37:14 San
That's what I thought, but wasn't sure. Certainly never seen a tail colouring like it on a white horse before
Nightingales Ridge
01:35:42 𔓘 Issy
San its the Gulastra plume that was introduced

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



Rules   Hide
You are in: Main Chat
View Sales Chat
Quests

Embark on a Quest.

Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
Royale Equestria
05:56:17 Janna
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
Which one is prettier?
Nightingales Ridge
02:33:32 𔓘 Issy
Silver check items in player stores theres many
Silver-Oak Stables
02:30:28 
Does anyone have carrots for sale?
Minerva
02:19:00 Min
Shitting hell
Nightingales Ridge
02:18:00 𔓘 Issy
Yeah. It's going to hit my friends worse further south. They've been smashed by cyclones a few times.m last time his house went under water he video chatted me from his garage roof with his cat and rabbit in cages .-.
Minerva
02:14:16 Min
Ahh that's alright then. Hopefully it passes over quickly too
Nightingales Ridge
02:12:33 𔓘 Issy
I have one and so does mum. Will make do .-. Have my gas cooker which always comes in handy during these days haha
Minerva
02:07:01 Min
Uh oh 😬 Will you be alright without one?
Nightingales Ridge
02:04:46 𔓘 Issy
My brother tried to get a power bank today and they're all sold out because of the coming weather X) sheeit
Nightingales Ridge
01:48:27 𔓘 Issy
Money sink I tell yeee haha
Minerva
01:45:18 Min
I haven't managed that one for ages
Nightingales Ridge
01:43:12 𔓘 Issy
But at least I got that girl from it haha
Nightingales Ridge
01:42:57 𔓘 Issy
It's not looking good ahahaha
Minerva
01:42:14 Min
Good luck Issy!
Nightingales Ridge
01:40:51 𔓘 Issy
Ooo interesting San okay
Nightingales Ridge
01:40:21 𔓘 Issy
I was trying to get the premium leopard palomino quest X)
Santana Rising
01:38:44 San
I bred a WWW once from a WWW x WEE pairing and the dam of the WEE was a WPP wild, so I certainly recommend trying to breed up from her.
Nightingales Ridge
01:37:45 𔓘 Issy
Maco oof that is strong. Yeah it's decent bloody wind still the 130. We have things powered and a gas cooker if needed. Hopefully don't loose power
Santana Rising
01:37:14 San
That's what I thought, but wasn't sure. Certainly never seen a tail colouring like it on a white horse before
Nightingales Ridge
01:35:42 𔓘 Issy
San its the Gulastra plume that was introduced

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






Refresh


Forums

→ Horse Eden is a fun game! Sign Up Now!

My Subscriptions
My Bookmarks
My Topics
Latest Topics
Following

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
Give Award
This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Refresh