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Boulder Creek
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Hayes Family Ranch
10:31:34 Fallon
Tons of World Class Producer Stallions up for Stud! Best prices you'll find, come check them out! Need Ebs! -HEE Click-

Tons of items for sale in my shop as well.

Tons of horses for sale! Open to offers on all of them! -HEE Click-
The Lone Star
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Ou la la! PPP+ mares that help you with quests? Pesky fiesty quests will not get the better of you! What? More?? They're trained for eventing? Double the profit! Earn quest EBs and show EBs! Place your bids now:
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CrimsonValleyEstate
09:20:49 Crimson~Lea
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Daybreak
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Please come vote on this poll, I am hoping we could add them Barn manager to the horses page.
Giving us a second way to use the BM and change horses around that need to be adjusted.
Port Royal Equines
09:08:05 Elfie
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SS Warmbloods
09:01:48 
Huge EEE+ WB auction! Low prices and lots of color! Ends soon so get them cheap before they are gone!

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Bamboozled Ranch
08:51:06 
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Only a few minutes left! EEE X and PEE sport pony!
Golden Rose
08:21:22 Rose
SEW - WC Smokey Creme TB 2yo, make an offer as I am unsure on worth. Suit SD or bravery -HEE Click- <3

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Boulder Creek
11:15:41 
Time to send in your Entries for the
Pretty Pony Pageant
November Show:

- Eventing
- Vaulting
- Foxhunting
- Snazzy Solids
~ Awareness Ride (Special!)
~ Turkey Trot

Thousands Awarded - Everyone Wins - Free to Enter

-HEE Click-
Hayes Family Ranch
10:31:34 Fallon
Tons of World Class Producer Stallions up for Stud! Best prices you'll find, come check them out! Need Ebs! -HEE Click-

Tons of items for sale in my shop as well.

Tons of horses for sale! Open to offers on all of them! -HEE Click-
The Lone Star
10:03:19 
Ou la la! PPP+ mares that help you with quests? Pesky fiesty quests will not get the better of you! What? More?? They're trained for eventing? Double the profit! Earn quest EBs and show EBs! Place your bids now:
-HEE Click-
CrimsonValleyEstate
09:20:49 Crimson~Lea
Looking for a 1 Month Upgrade! PM me :)
Daybreak
09:10:40 Day
-HEE Click-
Please come vote on this poll, I am hoping we could add them Barn manager to the horses page.
Giving us a second way to use the BM and change horses around that need to be adjusted.
Port Royal Equines
09:08:05 Elfie
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
EEE broods!
SS Warmbloods
09:01:48 
Huge EEE+ WB auction! Low prices and lots of color! Ends soon so get them cheap before they are gone!

-HEE Click-
Bamboozled Ranch
08:51:06 
-HEE Click-

Only a few minutes left! EEE X and PEE sport pony!
Golden Rose
08:21:22 Rose
SEW - WC Smokey Creme TB 2yo, make an offer as I am unsure on worth. Suit SD or bravery -HEE Click- <3

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
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High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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