Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 200   Season: Summer   
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Stables Online:  128 
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Equity Falls
07:02:20 Dimmed | KNN
-HEE Click-
Someone help me pick a stud for her second embryo. She hates me
Gaelic Gladiacres
07:02:08 Gladius
woooo! congrats!
Stone Haven Farm
06:59:44 Court
Ooo she is :D
Gaelic Gladiacres
06:58:54 Gladius
I think it's definitely close enough to potentially merit testing
Eyrie of the Stars
06:58:52 Eyrie
Court might be the perlino chimmy. I feel like there's a faint color change on the lower part of the shoulder/foreleg.
Stone Haven Farm
06:58:45 Court
I'll gene test her to see, I'm curious and my vision isn't the best XD
Gaelic Gladiacres
06:58:36 Gladius
I see a different tone from the middle of the under-neck along the bottom of the shoulder down the front legs and across to the stifle--I don't think that's pangere, right?
ArcticLights
06:58:07 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Am tempted to say its a chimera yes
Nampara Cove
06:57:48 North/Raven
Glacier,
You sure? Looks like it cuts off the rabi
Correct me if i'm wrong, I am uneducated on chimeras
Tenebris Hollow
06:57:42 Aris/Maki
I think that's a chim
Glacier Bay Cove
06:55:49 Glacier Kittens
Not a chimmy
Stone Haven Farm
06:54:44 Court
-HEE Click- chimmy? its hard to see 👀
Fire_Rescue
06:46:31 Rescue/ Rookie/ Rumi
My mom just got me a new knee brace but it is not going to work for me I am looking on the target website to find the one I like so that my mom dose not have to keep buying different ones.
WildWind
06:45:07 Wild
also:
hi chat
WildWind
06:44:49 Wild
ooh me too
Gaelic Gladiacres
06:38:38 Gladius
so relatable chey haha
Elephant Walk Stable
06:38:15 Chey
When u are this close to being able to purchase another pasture! haha

$99,659
The Night Circus
06:34:01 Columet
Oh thats gorgeous Dim
Arctic Dusk
06:30:33 AL - Hateful RIDs
Oh nice Dimmy :)
full moon
06:29:40 usagi
ok
-HEE Click-

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Equity Falls
07:02:20 Dimmed | KNN
-HEE Click-
Someone help me pick a stud for her second embryo. She hates me
Gaelic Gladiacres
07:02:08 Gladius
woooo! congrats!
Stone Haven Farm
06:59:44 Court
Ooo she is :D
Gaelic Gladiacres
06:58:54 Gladius
I think it's definitely close enough to potentially merit testing
Eyrie of the Stars
06:58:52 Eyrie
Court might be the perlino chimmy. I feel like there's a faint color change on the lower part of the shoulder/foreleg.
Stone Haven Farm
06:58:45 Court
I'll gene test her to see, I'm curious and my vision isn't the best XD
Gaelic Gladiacres
06:58:36 Gladius
I see a different tone from the middle of the under-neck along the bottom of the shoulder down the front legs and across to the stifle--I don't think that's pangere, right?
ArcticLights
06:58:07 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Am tempted to say its a chimera yes
Nampara Cove
06:57:48 North/Raven
Glacier,
You sure? Looks like it cuts off the rabi
Correct me if i'm wrong, I am uneducated on chimeras
Tenebris Hollow
06:57:42 Aris/Maki
I think that's a chim
Glacier Bay Cove
06:55:49 Glacier Kittens
Not a chimmy
Stone Haven Farm
06:54:44 Court
-HEE Click- chimmy? its hard to see 👀
Fire_Rescue
06:46:31 Rescue/ Rookie/ Rumi
My mom just got me a new knee brace but it is not going to work for me I am looking on the target website to find the one I like so that my mom dose not have to keep buying different ones.
WildWind
06:45:07 Wild
also:
hi chat
WildWind
06:44:49 Wild
ooh me too
Gaelic Gladiacres
06:38:38 Gladius
so relatable chey haha
Elephant Walk Stable
06:38:15 Chey
When u are this close to being able to purchase another pasture! haha

$99,659
The Night Circus
06:34:01 Columet
Oh thats gorgeous Dim
Arctic Dusk
06:30:33 AL - Hateful RIDs
Oh nice Dimmy :)
full moon
06:29:40 usagi
ok
-HEE Click-

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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