Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 200   Season: Winter   
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Stables Online:  103 
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ShiningStar Stables
10:14:30 Chey / Star
Congrats Dimmy, she is gorgeous!
Columet Farms
10:14:14 The Coffee Purist
lol go RF go
Topaz Desert
10:07:10 Dimmed | Apricot RID
-HEE Click-
WHAT
Aspen Fire ES
10:07:08 Aspen/Tea Slaveyy
Take 2
-HEE Click-
Nightfall Dressage
10:05:47 Witchy
Fire
Bad link
Aspen Fire ES
10:05:06 Aspen/Tea Slaveyy
Pretty stud is finally rated ^^
-HEE Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
10:03:06 Glacier Kittens
Happy joining birthday, Sting
Narran Park
09:39:55 Sting
Its my joining Birthday tomorrow(In Aus)! Interesting
Narran Park
09:38:22 Sting
I am soo curious about what colour the giveaway mare is...
-HEE Click-
Astray
09:25:49 Stay |
Looking for a roleplay partner. Pm me!
Narran Park
09:24:41 Sting
-HEE Click-

Not a bad producer...
Dimmed
09:21:47 Dimmy
-Click-
I'd say that's a pretty darn good match
Golden Rose
09:20:49 Rose
Same, Sting
Narran Park
09:19:29 Sting
Glad the breeding prices for Spl have come down now.
Sunstone Elite
09:16:11 Sun/Sunny
Love seeing all the Spl that came from Tesoro in TB’s now.
Golden Rose
09:05:40 Rose
Definitely, hopefully he throws some nice foals :3 I do want more splash through my TBs so I was very excited to get him
Bright Farm
09:04:40 Mo
-HEE Click-
I love breeding quests!
Windy Hollow Farms
09:03:33 Windy
he's stunning! it's exciting, we could use another splash WWW tb stud in the game!
Golden Rose
09:01:24 Rose
Thank you, Windy! I was so excited when I bred him 🥹
Windy Hollow Farms
09:01:00 Windy
he's so lovely Rose!

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ShiningStar Stables
10:14:30 Chey / Star
Congrats Dimmy, she is gorgeous!
Columet Farms
10:14:14 The Coffee Purist
lol go RF go
Topaz Desert
10:07:10 Dimmed | Apricot RID
-HEE Click-
WHAT
Aspen Fire ES
10:07:08 Aspen/Tea Slaveyy
Take 2
-HEE Click-
Nightfall Dressage
10:05:47 Witchy
Fire
Bad link
Aspen Fire ES
10:05:06 Aspen/Tea Slaveyy
Pretty stud is finally rated ^^
-HEE Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
10:03:06 Glacier Kittens
Happy joining birthday, Sting
Narran Park
09:39:55 Sting
Its my joining Birthday tomorrow(In Aus)! Interesting
Narran Park
09:38:22 Sting
I am soo curious about what colour the giveaway mare is...
-HEE Click-
Astray
09:25:49 Stay |
Looking for a roleplay partner. Pm me!
Narran Park
09:24:41 Sting
-HEE Click-

Not a bad producer...
Dimmed
09:21:47 Dimmy
-Click-
I'd say that's a pretty darn good match
Golden Rose
09:20:49 Rose
Same, Sting
Narran Park
09:19:29 Sting
Glad the breeding prices for Spl have come down now.
Sunstone Elite
09:16:11 Sun/Sunny
Love seeing all the Spl that came from Tesoro in TB’s now.
Golden Rose
09:05:40 Rose
Definitely, hopefully he throws some nice foals :3 I do want more splash through my TBs so I was very excited to get him
Bright Farm
09:04:40 Mo
-HEE Click-
I love breeding quests!
Windy Hollow Farms
09:03:33 Windy
he's stunning! it's exciting, we could use another splash WWW tb stud in the game!
Golden Rose
09:01:24 Rose
Thank you, Windy! I was so excited when I bred him 🥹
Windy Hollow Farms
09:01:00 Windy
he's so lovely Rose!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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