Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Spring   
$: 0
Forecast: Partly Cloudy with Afternoon Drizzle
Forecast:
Thu 11:36pm  
Stables Online:  91 
Chatbox
Thicc Acres
11:26:00 
Thank you <3
Transformers Acres
11:18:54 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Thicc Acres

I'm sorry. :(
Thicc Acres
11:16:48 
We just had our Jack Russell put to sleep 😣
Glacier Bay Cove
11:07:04 Glacier Kittens
Currently wondering just how many levels Explore has
Glacier Bay Cove
11:05:20 Glacier Kittens
@Broken Meadows
Glacier Bay Cove
11:03:04 Glacier Kittens
Outstanding gorgeous horse
Boulder Creek
11:02:59 
Sherpa in Raid
Broken Meadows
10:57:11 Fire | BM
Yess, he would
The Undercity
10:57:05 Dory
His face marking is either from the tobi or frame
Assasin
10:55:35 
If it was his whole body then he would look fire!
Broken Meadows
10:55:20 Fire | BM
I think it's the roaning?
Assasin
10:54:58 
How is it only his face!
Broken Meadows
10:53:27 Fire | BM
His face <3
-HEE Click-
Froggy Lake
10:52:05 Froggy
Anyone like frogs?
-HEE Click-
Assasin
10:51:18 
Yesssssss!
Broken Meadows
10:50:39 Fire | BM
I love this flavor of tobiano
-HEE Click-
Eagles Peak
10:43:06 
Wowow im watching her Enigma! Lol
Enigma Elites
10:41:23 Eni | Thing 1
-HEE Click-

Well, you're unexpected
Sevens Haven
10:27:41 Tink
you'll get some luck soon!
Assasin
10:21:30 
Well I'm not getting a lot of luck right now, but at least you do!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



Rules   Hide
You are in: Main Chat
View Sales Chat
Quests

Embark on a Quest.

Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
Thicc Acres
11:26:00 
Thank you <3
Transformers Acres
11:18:54 Geek, Greek Yogurt
Thicc Acres

I'm sorry. :(
Thicc Acres
11:16:48 
We just had our Jack Russell put to sleep 😣
Glacier Bay Cove
11:07:04 Glacier Kittens
Currently wondering just how many levels Explore has
Glacier Bay Cove
11:05:20 Glacier Kittens
@Broken Meadows
Glacier Bay Cove
11:03:04 Glacier Kittens
Outstanding gorgeous horse
Boulder Creek
11:02:59 
Sherpa in Raid
Broken Meadows
10:57:11 Fire | BM
Yess, he would
The Undercity
10:57:05 Dory
His face marking is either from the tobi or frame
Assasin
10:55:35 
If it was his whole body then he would look fire!
Broken Meadows
10:55:20 Fire | BM
I think it's the roaning?
Assasin
10:54:58 
How is it only his face!
Broken Meadows
10:53:27 Fire | BM
His face <3
-HEE Click-
Froggy Lake
10:52:05 Froggy
Anyone like frogs?
-HEE Click-
Assasin
10:51:18 
Yesssssss!
Broken Meadows
10:50:39 Fire | BM
I love this flavor of tobiano
-HEE Click-
Eagles Peak
10:43:06 
Wowow im watching her Enigma! Lol
Enigma Elites
10:41:23 Eni | Thing 1
-HEE Click-

Well, you're unexpected
Sevens Haven
10:27:41 Tink
you'll get some luck soon!
Assasin
10:21:30 
Well I'm not getting a lot of luck right now, but at least you do!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






Refresh


Forums

→ Horse Eden is a fun game! Sign Up Now!

My Subscriptions
My Bookmarks
My Topics
Latest Topics
Following

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
Give Award
This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Refresh