Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 198   Season: Spring   
$: 0
Forecast: Afternoon Showers, Sleet Possible
Forecast:
Sun 08:14pm  
Stables Online:  141 
Chatbox
 Nippy Equine
08:13:34 Nippy/Nipple
What a good girl. She's just learning that life is a good thing <3
Sunni
08:13:19 Sunni bunny
I mean she was trying to bite at me because I had chased her cuz she got loose and I chased her for 30 minutes before I finally caught her.
And I only called her because she was that tired.
But she learned that even if she tries to bite me I'm not going to run away.
I want that held her down a later cooled off I picked her up and I just rubbed her back and I kept telling her baby I know.
Nippy Equine
08:12:59 Nippy/Nipple
That sounds lovely!
We have a middle aged Brittany that my wife has had since he was a puppy and from what her and her family have said, lord he was challenging with a capital C. He's a total peach now though, I love him!
And we just welcomed a puppy on new years eve - she's to be my little partner in crime. I'm completely enamored. I'm an obsessive researcher and determined to do right by her.
Sunni
08:12:30 Sunni bunny
Sunshine is opening up a lot though, she's only tried nipping at me and Aaron because we're big and it's scary.
She adores my kids though because they're small and they realize that she's scared.
So they're just throwing her scraps of food right now.
XD
I think they've been watching me through a treat just to get her use to my presents and associate us with positivity.
Now she's coming up and seeking affection,
You can still see she's unsure.
But our pack will help her build that confidence I'm so glad that all my dogs are friendly so far.
The only one that's is Apollo that's because of his accident though.
That he's just extra protective over me.
Sunni
08:11:10 Sunni bunny
Nippy I feel that, we got dogs in my house.
And I love dogs that are a challenging.
I'll be working with sunshine to hopefully get her more confident.
And I need to work off leash with her too but first I got to get that recall down.
Because she is a flight she's probably not going to bite.
If she's scared she's going to run for the hill she does not want to fight.
Soul Snatcher Ranch
08:11:09 
-HEE Click-
Making progress
Native Run Ranch
08:10:22 Case
I am, straight to the FR with them hahaha
Nippy Equine
08:09:47 Nippy/Nipple
Hell yeah Case, throw them ponies away
Calela Eventing
08:09:45 Cali
One was a cannabal as well
Says what luck my birthday has lol
When I was born my family said they were saving up bail money
Native Run Ranch
08:09:24 Case
Whiskey is helping this hard cull 😆 anything over 1of30 PEE combo gone. Then onto the EEE and W Combos 😆
Wolf Dancer
08:09:24 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Thunda would be my first guess
Gypsy Family Farm
08:08:30 
Not Corazon, Lost Cause.
Nippy Equine
08:07:26 Nippy/Nipple
We're a pets over children home for sure. I love being the fun gay aunt to all my nieces and nephews though.
Gypsy Family Farm
08:07:02 
Corazon is pretty huge too.
Sunni
08:06:46 Sunni bunny
Nippy XD
Kids are fun but they will wear you out fast.
My kids have learned mommy has a short temper but with them I try being patient.
But my son will use a whole roll of toilet paper.
He is a germaphobe like me, our hands have to be clean.
 Nippy Equine
08:06:33 Nippy/Nipple
Thunda was my first thought also.
Glacier Bay Cove
08:06:02 Glacier Kittens
I think Thunda( white thunder cat ) is the biggest stable here on HEE, but I could be wrong about that
Native Run Ranch
08:05:44 Case
Yes, I know Boggy Bottom was for a long time, Fluffy was pretty big but I have no clue if they are still around. I rarely pay attwntion to chat honesyly hahha
Sunni
08:05:15 Sunni bunny
Cali
"Everyone watch out! Stay away someone getting ideas."

Oh no you just reminded me mines coming up.
I hate my birthday, but am happy this time around.
At least I got a nice birthday present.
I got miss Sunshine, like I told my husband I don't like getting gifts.
I'd just rather sleep and be lazy.
Gypsy Family Farm
08:05:06 
Case; you mean the most horses?

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 Nippy Equine
08:13:34 Nippy/Nipple
What a good girl. She's just learning that life is a good thing <3
Sunni
08:13:19 Sunni bunny
I mean she was trying to bite at me because I had chased her cuz she got loose and I chased her for 30 minutes before I finally caught her.
And I only called her because she was that tired.
But she learned that even if she tries to bite me I'm not going to run away.
I want that held her down a later cooled off I picked her up and I just rubbed her back and I kept telling her baby I know.
Nippy Equine
08:12:59 Nippy/Nipple
That sounds lovely!
We have a middle aged Brittany that my wife has had since he was a puppy and from what her and her family have said, lord he was challenging with a capital C. He's a total peach now though, I love him!
And we just welcomed a puppy on new years eve - she's to be my little partner in crime. I'm completely enamored. I'm an obsessive researcher and determined to do right by her.
Sunni
08:12:30 Sunni bunny
Sunshine is opening up a lot though, she's only tried nipping at me and Aaron because we're big and it's scary.
She adores my kids though because they're small and they realize that she's scared.
So they're just throwing her scraps of food right now.
XD
I think they've been watching me through a treat just to get her use to my presents and associate us with positivity.
Now she's coming up and seeking affection,
You can still see she's unsure.
But our pack will help her build that confidence I'm so glad that all my dogs are friendly so far.
The only one that's is Apollo that's because of his accident though.
That he's just extra protective over me.
Sunni
08:11:10 Sunni bunny
Nippy I feel that, we got dogs in my house.
And I love dogs that are a challenging.
I'll be working with sunshine to hopefully get her more confident.
And I need to work off leash with her too but first I got to get that recall down.
Because she is a flight she's probably not going to bite.
If she's scared she's going to run for the hill she does not want to fight.
Soul Snatcher Ranch
08:11:09 
-HEE Click-
Making progress
Native Run Ranch
08:10:22 Case
I am, straight to the FR with them hahaha
Nippy Equine
08:09:47 Nippy/Nipple
Hell yeah Case, throw them ponies away
Calela Eventing
08:09:45 Cali
One was a cannabal as well
Says what luck my birthday has lol
When I was born my family said they were saving up bail money
Native Run Ranch
08:09:24 Case
Whiskey is helping this hard cull 😆 anything over 1of30 PEE combo gone. Then onto the EEE and W Combos 😆
Wolf Dancer
08:09:24 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Thunda would be my first guess
Gypsy Family Farm
08:08:30 
Not Corazon, Lost Cause.
Nippy Equine
08:07:26 Nippy/Nipple
We're a pets over children home for sure. I love being the fun gay aunt to all my nieces and nephews though.
Gypsy Family Farm
08:07:02 
Corazon is pretty huge too.
Sunni
08:06:46 Sunni bunny
Nippy XD
Kids are fun but they will wear you out fast.
My kids have learned mommy has a short temper but with them I try being patient.
But my son will use a whole roll of toilet paper.
He is a germaphobe like me, our hands have to be clean.
 Nippy Equine
08:06:33 Nippy/Nipple
Thunda was my first thought also.
Glacier Bay Cove
08:06:02 Glacier Kittens
I think Thunda( white thunder cat ) is the biggest stable here on HEE, but I could be wrong about that
Native Run Ranch
08:05:44 Case
Yes, I know Boggy Bottom was for a long time, Fluffy was pretty big but I have no clue if they are still around. I rarely pay attwntion to chat honesyly hahha
Sunni
08:05:15 Sunni bunny
Cali
"Everyone watch out! Stay away someone getting ideas."

Oh no you just reminded me mines coming up.
I hate my birthday, but am happy this time around.
At least I got a nice birthday present.
I got miss Sunshine, like I told my husband I don't like getting gifts.
I'd just rather sleep and be lazy.
Gypsy Family Farm
08:05:06 
Case; you mean the most horses?

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

 Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
Give Award
This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

 Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

 Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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