Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Spring   
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Mon 01:26am  
Stables Online:  67 
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Faithful Stables
01:07:26 Faith
Ugh I really need to take the time to sort through these color boys because I do not -need- 15 EWE combo boys but I am in fact lazy xD
Budgie12
01:01:00 
congratulations
Kaldwin Stud
12:49:14 Tano
You have logged in 365 days in a row.
You earned: Bronze
Store Token - 5 Percent Off Hay
EXTRA BONUS for Perfect Attendence (Year Anniversary): Breeding Item

Woohoo 😎🤙
Nightingales Ridge
11:55:16 𔓘 Issy
Is it a possibility to have one now Witchy
Nightfall Dressage
11:41:55 Witchy
I’m craving a red baked potato…
Blue Diamond
11:38:58 Bluey/PM abt books^^
Lafernfern
Greenheart Stables
11:23:48 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
well a new pet is on the backburner now, the car heard I got extra money
Nordic Designs
11:20:47 Keo/ Ice/ Tiny
202 geldings, dressage mares, and jumping mares, culled today... *phew* what a relief. Now week 7 needs to get here so i can yeet some more XD
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:17:22 Fern/Fref/Ferf/fih
well anyways,
good afternoon, good evening, and good night.
(elite knowledge right there)
DSD Training Center
11:16:08 Spring <3
fern,
aw that always sucks :(
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:15:15 Fern/Fref/Ferf/fih
spring
well i'd rather take that then running in a muddy arena, ruined one of my favorite button ups from it :(
DSD Training Center
11:14:40 Spring <3
Fern,
oh, how pleasant. I've been flung multiple times like that, so your not alone
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:13:37 Fern/Fref/Ferf/fih
also she decides instead of slowly slowing down from a run, she's just going to abruptly stop while I'm hanging in one stirrup waiting for the right moment lol
DSD Training Center
11:11:35 Spring <3
Mellow,
Oh, dang! I also have figured out shes quite quick... I have suspicions she was bred as a bronc and then failed because shes too docile... buttt yeah...

Fern,
My mares would rather bite goats 😭 I've found clumps of my goats hair and found some bald spots
MellowMares
11:09:48 
haha yes absolutely! even more so that shes like... 6 years old ? and handles the horse well on her own lol
Nightfall Dressage
11:09:45 Witchy
For her horrid training and deplorable pairing I’m pretty pleased with her giving me a WEE
Nightfall Dressage
11:09:17 Witchy
-HEE Click-
This is the pretty girl she gave me!
Murphy's Elites
11:08:38 Fawn
Very nice and good luck!
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:08:38 Fern/Fref/Ferf/fih
DANG. that defanitely gives her bragging rights lol
Nightfall Dressage
11:08:11 Witchy
Fawn
Yes :) I’m hoping to breed up to it but it’s going to be a whileee. I do have a WWE EeAa CrCr from her though!

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Faithful Stables
01:07:26 Faith
Ugh I really need to take the time to sort through these color boys because I do not -need- 15 EWE combo boys but I am in fact lazy xD
Budgie12
01:01:00 
congratulations
Kaldwin Stud
12:49:14 Tano
You have logged in 365 days in a row.
You earned: Bronze
Store Token - 5 Percent Off Hay
EXTRA BONUS for Perfect Attendence (Year Anniversary): Breeding Item

Woohoo 😎🤙
Nightingales Ridge
11:55:16 𔓘 Issy
Is it a possibility to have one now Witchy
Nightfall Dressage
11:41:55 Witchy
I’m craving a red baked potato…
Blue Diamond
11:38:58 Bluey/PM abt books^^
Lafernfern
Greenheart Stables
11:23:48 Gren|Grenlin|Snek
well a new pet is on the backburner now, the car heard I got extra money
Nordic Designs
11:20:47 Keo/ Ice/ Tiny
202 geldings, dressage mares, and jumping mares, culled today... *phew* what a relief. Now week 7 needs to get here so i can yeet some more XD
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:17:22 Fern/Fref/Ferf/fih
well anyways,
good afternoon, good evening, and good night.
(elite knowledge right there)
DSD Training Center
11:16:08 Spring <3
fern,
aw that always sucks :(
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:15:15 Fern/Fref/Ferf/fih
spring
well i'd rather take that then running in a muddy arena, ruined one of my favorite button ups from it :(
DSD Training Center
11:14:40 Spring <3
Fern,
oh, how pleasant. I've been flung multiple times like that, so your not alone
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:13:37 Fern/Fref/Ferf/fih
also she decides instead of slowly slowing down from a run, she's just going to abruptly stop while I'm hanging in one stirrup waiting for the right moment lol
DSD Training Center
11:11:35 Spring <3
Mellow,
Oh, dang! I also have figured out shes quite quick... I have suspicions she was bred as a bronc and then failed because shes too docile... buttt yeah...

Fern,
My mares would rather bite goats 😭 I've found clumps of my goats hair and found some bald spots
MellowMares
11:09:48 
haha yes absolutely! even more so that shes like... 6 years old ? and handles the horse well on her own lol
Nightfall Dressage
11:09:45 Witchy
For her horrid training and deplorable pairing I’m pretty pleased with her giving me a WEE
Nightfall Dressage
11:09:17 Witchy
-HEE Click-
This is the pretty girl she gave me!
Murphy's Elites
11:08:38 Fawn
Very nice and good luck!
RFS Thoroughbreds
11:08:38 Fern/Fref/Ferf/fih
DANG. that defanitely gives her bragging rights lol
Nightfall Dressage
11:08:11 Witchy
Fawn
Yes :) I’m hoping to breed up to it but it’s going to be a whileee. I do have a WWE EeAa CrCr from her though!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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