Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Spring   
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Mon 12:04pm  
Stables Online:  224 
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Glacier Bay Cove
12:04:26 Glacier Kittens
Cool, I have an invisible brindle now
Vellum Elites
12:04:16 Vell
I thought it was a fluke the first time, but twice in a row?
Glacier Bay Cove
12:02:20 Glacier Kittens
I might have to borrow her, Vell
Vellum Elites
12:01:06 Vell
-HEE Click-
Her production record as an EEE is insane..
Beamng
11:59:01 Miles Vinuline/Beam
-HEE Click-
Colorful Horse!
Beamng
11:57:09 Miles Vinuline/Beam
-HEE Click-
Horse Just Bred!
Wynter's WB|TB
11:56:59 
-HEE Click-
Match help?
Crestwood Eq.
11:53:51 ivy 💅
-HEE Click- eh. youll be good for SD
Gem Queens Estate
11:46:44 Snow❆Gem
@peach

Thank you! :D I've gotten so many EWW combos but never any WWW RIDs!
Peachy
11:46:06 peach ❥
congrats Gem!
Peachy
11:45:28 peach ❥
Name ideas?? -HEE Click-
Gemstone Stable
11:44:47 Snow❆Gem
My first ever WWW! XD

-HEE Click-
Moriarty
11:44:37 Mori
J meds are hiding from meee
Ashcroft Park Stud
11:41:28 Ash
Congratulations Sue!
Gamma Designs
11:41:21 Eps Secret PON
O h—
-HEE Click-
The Joker
11:40:24 Ari <3
Aw he finally passed :')
-HEE Click-
Podere 211
11:40:12 Sue
-HEE Click- first home bred WWW KNN, and she's a filly!
Dash and Duchess
11:36:18 DD | ~Squizard~
I feel ya Sunny lol
ⅩⅤ Ranch
11:36:09 Vell | X
I need to know how producing an EEW managed to launch her +30 spots on the ABLB.
-HEE Click-
God is Mighty Stable
11:35:35 Willow: KNN & X
-HEE Click-
He won't spook T-T

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Glacier Bay Cove
12:04:26 Glacier Kittens
Cool, I have an invisible brindle now
Vellum Elites
12:04:16 Vell
I thought it was a fluke the first time, but twice in a row?
Glacier Bay Cove
12:02:20 Glacier Kittens
I might have to borrow her, Vell
Vellum Elites
12:01:06 Vell
-HEE Click-
Her production record as an EEE is insane..
Beamng
11:59:01 Miles Vinuline/Beam
-HEE Click-
Colorful Horse!
Beamng
11:57:09 Miles Vinuline/Beam
-HEE Click-
Horse Just Bred!
Wynter's WB|TB
11:56:59 
-HEE Click-
Match help?
Crestwood Eq.
11:53:51 ivy 💅
-HEE Click- eh. youll be good for SD
Gem Queens Estate
11:46:44 Snow❆Gem
@peach

Thank you! :D I've gotten so many EWW combos but never any WWW RIDs!
Peachy
11:46:06 peach ❥
congrats Gem!
Peachy
11:45:28 peach ❥
Name ideas?? -HEE Click-
Gemstone Stable
11:44:47 Snow❆Gem
My first ever WWW! XD

-HEE Click-
Moriarty
11:44:37 Mori
J meds are hiding from meee
Ashcroft Park Stud
11:41:28 Ash
Congratulations Sue!
Gamma Designs
11:41:21 Eps Secret PON
O h—
-HEE Click-
The Joker
11:40:24 Ari <3
Aw he finally passed :')
-HEE Click-
Podere 211
11:40:12 Sue
-HEE Click- first home bred WWW KNN, and she's a filly!
Dash and Duchess
11:36:18 DD | ~Squizard~
I feel ya Sunny lol
ⅩⅤ Ranch
11:36:09 Vell | X
I need to know how producing an EEW managed to launch her +30 spots on the ABLB.
-HEE Click-
God is Mighty Stable
11:35:35 Willow: KNN & X
-HEE Click-
He won't spook T-T

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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