Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 202   Season: Spring   
$: 0
Forecast: Tornados ! Run for Cover !
Forecast:
Fri 03:41pm  
Stables Online:  197 
Chatbox
Calela Eventing
03:41:28 Cali
I love them to x
Silver Melody Acres
03:41:15 Solar - KNNs
aw, I love draft horses
Calela Eventing
03:40:14 Cali
I knowww, i almost cried in relief
The mare is lovely to, 16hh draft called Shadow
Whitewolf
03:39:36 Fang
Shocked you actually turned out alright
-HEE Click-
Minerva
03:38:31 Min
Ayyy that's great news Cali!! Much better than the people that were pissing you about
Jericho Stables
03:36:42 
Apparently I didn't breed my bravery horses last month. My bad lol
Sunset River Arabian
03:33:29 Athena - AA/TB
Hes a stunner!
Arvalon Studs
03:33:12 Tosk's KNN
My newest prl addition

-HEE Click-
Sunset River Arabian
03:32:33 Athena - AA/TB
Tosky
Ooh maybe someone will match
Arvalon Studs
03:32:08 Tosk's KNN
I got the pearl Boys.
Arvalon Studs
03:31:26 Tosk's KNN
That's awesome Athena!
Ram Way Stables
03:29:37 
-HEE Click-

Just got this filly and she’s actually just won my heart, such a sweetie!
Nordahl
03:25:31 Athena | RID/KNN
damn and both fillies got moms pearl
Calela Eventing
03:24:43 Cali
We got a new boarder!! I got the call while out riding. They paid within 5 minutes and in a couple hours the new mare was here
Nordahl
03:23:37 Athena | RID/KNN
Damn all 3 foals today were WW+
-HEE Click-
And my only wins over here
Minerva
03:23:26 Min
Oooh do tell Cali!
Calela Eventing
03:22:53 Cali
I have some good news Min!
Silver Melody Acres
03:22:39 Solar - KNNs
and the EEE flops seem to rarely be any good
Alderney Stud
03:20:09 Em
What a stunner -HEE Click-
Ironhorse
03:19:43 Sting
EEE is the new PPP

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



Rules   Hide
You are in: Main Chat
View Sales Chat
Quests

Embark on a Quest.

Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
Calela Eventing
03:41:28 Cali
I love them to x
Silver Melody Acres
03:41:15 Solar - KNNs
aw, I love draft horses
Calela Eventing
03:40:14 Cali
I knowww, i almost cried in relief
The mare is lovely to, 16hh draft called Shadow
Whitewolf
03:39:36 Fang
Shocked you actually turned out alright
-HEE Click-
Minerva
03:38:31 Min
Ayyy that's great news Cali!! Much better than the people that were pissing you about
Jericho Stables
03:36:42 
Apparently I didn't breed my bravery horses last month. My bad lol
Sunset River Arabian
03:33:29 Athena - AA/TB
Hes a stunner!
Arvalon Studs
03:33:12 Tosk's KNN
My newest prl addition

-HEE Click-
Sunset River Arabian
03:32:33 Athena - AA/TB
Tosky
Ooh maybe someone will match
Arvalon Studs
03:32:08 Tosk's KNN
I got the pearl Boys.
Arvalon Studs
03:31:26 Tosk's KNN
That's awesome Athena!
Ram Way Stables
03:29:37 
-HEE Click-

Just got this filly and she’s actually just won my heart, such a sweetie!
Nordahl
03:25:31 Athena | RID/KNN
damn and both fillies got moms pearl
Calela Eventing
03:24:43 Cali
We got a new boarder!! I got the call while out riding. They paid within 5 minutes and in a couple hours the new mare was here
Nordahl
03:23:37 Athena | RID/KNN
Damn all 3 foals today were WW+
-HEE Click-
And my only wins over here
Minerva
03:23:26 Min
Oooh do tell Cali!
Calela Eventing
03:22:53 Cali
I have some good news Min!
Silver Melody Acres
03:22:39 Solar - KNNs
and the EEE flops seem to rarely be any good
Alderney Stud
03:20:09 Em
What a stunner -HEE Click-
Ironhorse
03:19:43 Sting
EEE is the new PPP

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






Refresh


Forums

→ Horse Eden is a fun game! Sign Up Now!

My Subscriptions
My Bookmarks
My Topics
Latest Topics
Following

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
Give Award
This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Refresh