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Tenebris Hollow
08:26:17 Aris/Maki
Lol Teenee dont worry I love ATLA too
full moon
08:25:49 usagi
stray kids?!!! i've always wanted to go!!!
TEENEE
08:25:41 Cheeto
I saw momo and got excited we were talking about ATLA but alas. I was mistaken
Tenebris Hollow
08:25:22 Aris/Maki
*kpop
Tenebris Hollow
08:25:16 Aris/Maki
This isn't my first loop concert though. I've been to ampersandone, p1harmony, and stray kids
full moon
08:24:22 usagi
me too! I love all of them though!
Tenebris Hollow
08:21:47 Aris/Maki
I love momo ❤
full moon
08:21:30 usagi
mine is Momo!!
Tenebris Hollow
08:20:53 Aris/Maki
My bias is tzuyu
full moon
08:20:33 usagi
yes!!!
Tenebris Hollow
08:19:47 Aris/Maki
You a fan?
full moon
08:19:24 usagi
what!!!!
Tenebris Hollow
08:18:48 Aris/Maki
Twice
full moon
08:18:41 usagi
who's concert?
fire
08:18:37 
what concet
Tenebris Hollow
08:04:39 Aris/Maki
Im so excited! Im going to a concert on Friday
Port Royal Equines
07:56:49 Elfie
thanks everyone. <3
Port Royal Equines
07:56:33 Elfie
I bought that apple tablet for procreate and I am struggling lol. I am going to finish this comm on ibis and then practice pro. I can't find any soft chalk, oil, or pastel brushes to use like I use on ibis. >-< My other tablet croaked.
Glacier Bay Cove
07:55:58 Glacier Kittens
Has the trivia link been posted
Glacier Bay Cove
07:53:15 Glacier Kittens
Very nice, Elfie

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Tenebris Hollow
08:26:17 Aris/Maki
Lol Teenee dont worry I love ATLA too
full moon
08:25:49 usagi
stray kids?!!! i've always wanted to go!!!
TEENEE
08:25:41 Cheeto
I saw momo and got excited we were talking about ATLA but alas. I was mistaken
Tenebris Hollow
08:25:22 Aris/Maki
*kpop
Tenebris Hollow
08:25:16 Aris/Maki
This isn't my first loop concert though. I've been to ampersandone, p1harmony, and stray kids
full moon
08:24:22 usagi
me too! I love all of them though!
Tenebris Hollow
08:21:47 Aris/Maki
I love momo ❤
full moon
08:21:30 usagi
mine is Momo!!
Tenebris Hollow
08:20:53 Aris/Maki
My bias is tzuyu
full moon
08:20:33 usagi
yes!!!
Tenebris Hollow
08:19:47 Aris/Maki
You a fan?
full moon
08:19:24 usagi
what!!!!
Tenebris Hollow
08:18:48 Aris/Maki
Twice
full moon
08:18:41 usagi
who's concert?
fire
08:18:37 
what concet
Tenebris Hollow
08:04:39 Aris/Maki
Im so excited! Im going to a concert on Friday
Port Royal Equines
07:56:49 Elfie
thanks everyone. <3
Port Royal Equines
07:56:33 Elfie
I bought that apple tablet for procreate and I am struggling lol. I am going to finish this comm on ibis and then practice pro. I can't find any soft chalk, oil, or pastel brushes to use like I use on ibis. >-< My other tablet croaked.
Glacier Bay Cove
07:55:58 Glacier Kittens
Has the trivia link been posted
Glacier Bay Cove
07:53:15 Glacier Kittens
Very nice, Elfie

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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