Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 199   Season: Summer   
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Gypsy Family Farm
11:09:02 
Bri; if you have catnip, try making a tea with it. It's a stimulant to cats but a soporific to humans.
Beamng
11:02:59 Miles Vinuline/Beam
-Click-
Just finished watching the movie, When the Bough Breaks. Amazing Movie.
Wyllow Creek
10:52:04 Bri
I am so tired but also jittery at the same time and can't sleep
Wrangler Ranch
10:10:16 Wrangler
-HEE Click-

I'll take that week 7!
Requiem
10:05:54 Dimmed
The fact that this detail I'm working so hard on will be reduced to smudged up pixels when the horse art is uploaded makes me so mad
Midnight Manor
09:52:35 Bunny ♡
-HEE Click-
She earned me a XC Medallion
Christmas Day barns
09:40:49 
River
She’s gorgeous, but I just wish that P was a W
Crescent Estate
09:39:03 River / Crescent
Christmas
I mean I'd take her-
Christmas Day barns
09:38:14 
-HEE Click-
Damn it 😭
Nocturne Fields
09:36:23 
Looking for literate roleplay partners. PM me!
Willow Ridge Stable
09:20:14 
Yeah, and I don't have many rerolls left... I bred her with a world class and elite bravery horse so she should be pretty brave too.
IvorySummitEstate
09:20:10 Ivory
No!! Her dapples are beautiful
Nevernight
09:18:56 :Lulu
Willow, no, she's gorgeous!
Willow Ridge Stable
09:17:05 
-HEE Click-
Sorry it didn't work
Willow Ridge Stable
09:16:11 
Should I reroll her or -HEE Click-
Hyrule Camp
08:57:55 Ryan
rp anyone pm me
Snow Stable
08:49:50 Snow❆Gem
Hm, layering might need tweaked?

-HEE Click-

I can see her seal brown under her neck. O.o
Glacier Bay Cove
08:42:56 Glacier Kittens
Angels
Glacier Bay Cove
08:42:48 Glacier Kittens
One of the things that really hurts
♦Interstellar Path
08:42:26 Starry/Aura/Pea
Thanks!

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Chatbox
Gypsy Family Farm
11:09:02 
Bri; if you have catnip, try making a tea with it. It's a stimulant to cats but a soporific to humans.
Beamng
11:02:59 Miles Vinuline/Beam
-Click-
Just finished watching the movie, When the Bough Breaks. Amazing Movie.
Wyllow Creek
10:52:04 Bri
I am so tired but also jittery at the same time and can't sleep
Wrangler Ranch
10:10:16 Wrangler
-HEE Click-

I'll take that week 7!
Requiem
10:05:54 Dimmed
The fact that this detail I'm working so hard on will be reduced to smudged up pixels when the horse art is uploaded makes me so mad
Midnight Manor
09:52:35 Bunny ♡
-HEE Click-
She earned me a XC Medallion
Christmas Day barns
09:40:49 
River
She’s gorgeous, but I just wish that P was a W
Crescent Estate
09:39:03 River / Crescent
Christmas
I mean I'd take her-
Christmas Day barns
09:38:14 
-HEE Click-
Damn it 😭
Nocturne Fields
09:36:23 
Looking for literate roleplay partners. PM me!
Willow Ridge Stable
09:20:14 
Yeah, and I don't have many rerolls left... I bred her with a world class and elite bravery horse so she should be pretty brave too.
IvorySummitEstate
09:20:10 Ivory
No!! Her dapples are beautiful
Nevernight
09:18:56 :Lulu
Willow, no, she's gorgeous!
Willow Ridge Stable
09:17:05 
-HEE Click-
Sorry it didn't work
Willow Ridge Stable
09:16:11 
Should I reroll her or -HEE Click-
Hyrule Camp
08:57:55 Ryan
rp anyone pm me
Snow Stable
08:49:50 Snow❆Gem
Hm, layering might need tweaked?

-HEE Click-

I can see her seal brown under her neck. O.o
Glacier Bay Cove
08:42:56 Glacier Kittens
Angels
Glacier Bay Cove
08:42:48 Glacier Kittens
One of the things that really hurts
♦Interstellar Path
08:42:26 Starry/Aura/Pea
Thanks!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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