Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 199   Season: Summer   
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Stables Online:  67 
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BlackRose
03:47:56 Stella
Yes please! If I send links and what I think they are would you be able to tell me if I’m correct? It won’t be 100 links don’t worry. Possibly just 3! Or one if you’d prefer!
Vahana
03:46:46 Val
I can try help, if you want, Stella?
BlackRose
03:37:55 Stella
Is anyone free that is good with genetics? I wanna test myself as I’ve been trying to learn them (on here)
Ashcroft Park Stud
03:36:11 Ash
Congrats Jay 🎉
hookfang
03:34:41 jay / hookfang
-HEE Click- Just noticed my boy is on some lbs!! So happy with him:D
Ashcroft Park Stud
03:31:02 Ash
-HEE Click- ooh she also managed to get Elite bravery, makes a change from Average 😂
Alpine Acres
03:21:03 Lily
She's got one of the new homo sabino patterns, Maco. Very pretty :D
Maco Stables
03:17:16 Maco
Thanks!
BlackRose
03:16:47 Stella
She’s beautiful!!
Maco Stables
03:16:02 Maco
-HEE Click- Of course the most random breeding I do just to have some cannon fodder is the one that gives me a filly with an interesting coat pattern...
Minerva
03:12:51 Min
Lol just paid 12k in riders fees, that's a nice feeling. It was 110k last week 🤣
Alpine Acres
02:24:42 Lily
Night Lucky, sleep well :)
Lucky
02:23:58 luvky
Anyways goodnight you guys, i'm gonna head to bed :) good luck for week 7s!
Vancouver
02:22:53 Ana / Van
Thank you <3
Alpine Acres
02:21:56 Lily
Lucky
Isn't it! Van always comes through for my girls ;)
Lucky
02:20:21 luvky
Lily, oh that art is stunning!! Ana, you really outdid yourself with that piece :0
Alpine Acres
02:19:17 Lily
Lucky, did you see what Van did for my girl 0.0
-HEE Click-
Lucky
02:16:43 luvky
Ana, oh i got excited there for a second xD
Vancouver
02:15:44 Ana / Van
Lucky
Well, it was originally Capps girl so not really xD
Lucky
02:13:39 luvky
Ana, Oh my gosh Brinley lines?? That feels ancient lol

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BlackRose
03:47:56 Stella
Yes please! If I send links and what I think they are would you be able to tell me if I’m correct? It won’t be 100 links don’t worry. Possibly just 3! Or one if you’d prefer!
Vahana
03:46:46 Val
I can try help, if you want, Stella?
BlackRose
03:37:55 Stella
Is anyone free that is good with genetics? I wanna test myself as I’ve been trying to learn them (on here)
Ashcroft Park Stud
03:36:11 Ash
Congrats Jay 🎉
hookfang
03:34:41 jay / hookfang
-HEE Click- Just noticed my boy is on some lbs!! So happy with him:D
Ashcroft Park Stud
03:31:02 Ash
-HEE Click- ooh she also managed to get Elite bravery, makes a change from Average 😂
Alpine Acres
03:21:03 Lily
She's got one of the new homo sabino patterns, Maco. Very pretty :D
Maco Stables
03:17:16 Maco
Thanks!
BlackRose
03:16:47 Stella
She’s beautiful!!
Maco Stables
03:16:02 Maco
-HEE Click- Of course the most random breeding I do just to have some cannon fodder is the one that gives me a filly with an interesting coat pattern...
Minerva
03:12:51 Min
Lol just paid 12k in riders fees, that's a nice feeling. It was 110k last week 🤣
Alpine Acres
02:24:42 Lily
Night Lucky, sleep well :)
Lucky
02:23:58 luvky
Anyways goodnight you guys, i'm gonna head to bed :) good luck for week 7s!
Vancouver
02:22:53 Ana / Van
Thank you <3
Alpine Acres
02:21:56 Lily
Lucky
Isn't it! Van always comes through for my girls ;)
Lucky
02:20:21 luvky
Lily, oh that art is stunning!! Ana, you really outdid yourself with that piece :0
Alpine Acres
02:19:17 Lily
Lucky, did you see what Van did for my girl 0.0
-HEE Click-
Lucky
02:16:43 luvky
Ana, oh i got excited there for a second xD
Vancouver
02:15:44 Ana / Van
Lucky
Well, it was originally Capps girl so not really xD
Lucky
02:13:39 luvky
Ana, Oh my gosh Brinley lines?? That feels ancient lol

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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