Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Winter   
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Forecast: Sunshine with a Solar Eclipse
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Stables Online:  96 
Chatbox
moon stable
10:17:19 
thank you! I started yesterday!
Phantom Echoes
10:16:46 Win | Mar
You just copy the link, Moon and then post it
moon stable
10:16:06 
how do you add a link to your posts?
Calela Eventing
10:10:40 Cali
Wondering if i should be offended your EWE went AU and my WWW didnt lol
moon stable
10:10:21 
hi! I'm new! can you guys show me how everything works?
Calela Eventing
10:10:09 Cali
He's stunning Em!
At Wit's End
10:08:22 Gosky
I'll take that wk 4
-HEE Click-
Phantom Echoes
10:07:43 Win | Mar
Em
That's gorgeous
Insignia Elites
10:07:25 Em
This is my favourite brindle I have and he got me into RID -HEE Click-
Nordic Designs
10:06:30 Keonah
yasss thank you love
Insignia Elites
10:05:25 Em
Nope not the first, I just don't keep them unless their rating is well. I also always get them when I don't have the quest xD
At Wit's End
10:05:07 Gosky
I'm sorting through my accounts, so probably even more SDs coming your way
Nordic Designs
10:04:47 Keonah
I love dark brindles on light horses
Disney Star Flames
10:04:33 Win | SA
Em
Is it your first brindle? I think yesterday you said you want a brindle very badly :D
Nordic Designs
10:04:25 Keonah
I just had to FR a splash dressage filly for being boooboo cheeks so this is perfect timing <3 and of course I'm always trying to add rabi to everything
Insignia Elites
10:03:44 Em
A brindle I will keep lol -HEE Click-
Nordic Designs
10:02:52 Keonah
not a shame for me XD thank youu <3
At Wit's End
10:02:35 Gosky
I know. such a shame she's only SD :C
Nordic Designs
10:02:14 Keonah
ohhhh tosk X.x that one is purrrddyyyy
Phantom Echoes
10:00:45 Win | Mar
Fern is finally on!!!

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Chatbox
moon stable
10:17:19 
thank you! I started yesterday!
Phantom Echoes
10:16:46 Win | Mar
You just copy the link, Moon and then post it
moon stable
10:16:06 
how do you add a link to your posts?
Calela Eventing
10:10:40 Cali
Wondering if i should be offended your EWE went AU and my WWW didnt lol
moon stable
10:10:21 
hi! I'm new! can you guys show me how everything works?
Calela Eventing
10:10:09 Cali
He's stunning Em!
At Wit's End
10:08:22 Gosky
I'll take that wk 4
-HEE Click-
Phantom Echoes
10:07:43 Win | Mar
Em
That's gorgeous
Insignia Elites
10:07:25 Em
This is my favourite brindle I have and he got me into RID -HEE Click-
Nordic Designs
10:06:30 Keonah
yasss thank you love
Insignia Elites
10:05:25 Em
Nope not the first, I just don't keep them unless their rating is well. I also always get them when I don't have the quest xD
At Wit's End
10:05:07 Gosky
I'm sorting through my accounts, so probably even more SDs coming your way
Nordic Designs
10:04:47 Keonah
I love dark brindles on light horses
Disney Star Flames
10:04:33 Win | SA
Em
Is it your first brindle? I think yesterday you said you want a brindle very badly :D
Nordic Designs
10:04:25 Keonah
I just had to FR a splash dressage filly for being boooboo cheeks so this is perfect timing <3 and of course I'm always trying to add rabi to everything
Insignia Elites
10:03:44 Em
A brindle I will keep lol -HEE Click-
Nordic Designs
10:02:52 Keonah
not a shame for me XD thank youu <3
At Wit's End
10:02:35 Gosky
I know. such a shame she's only SD :C
Nordic Designs
10:02:14 Keonah
ohhhh tosk X.x that one is purrrddyyyy
Phantom Echoes
10:00:45 Win | Mar
Fern is finally on!!!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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