Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


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Requiem
04:22:04 Dimmed
Is A dominant over At
WildWind
04:18:24 Wild
-HEE Click-
really happy with him
Lucky Ducky Lane
04:03:45 
Ah jeez, okay thanks!
ArcticLights
03:59:21 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Lucky, if he doesnt have any foals then yes. 10 foals
Lucky Ducky Lane
03:58:39 
If I have a 4 year old stud that I forgot to test, does he still need 10 foals to hit an LB?
Requiem
03:57:04 Dimmed
Jungle might be best since it's cheaper
Requiem
03:56:40 Dimmed
I mean Palo is chestnut cream so... not really
Insignia Elites
03:55:59 Em
Any place in particular?
Amber Basin
03:55:45 Dimmed | Rabi RID
Capture KNN
Insignia Elites
03:55:05 Em
Capture a Premium Palomino Leopard Appaloosa horse.

Whats the best strategy?
Elite Equine Stables
03:51:01 Honey
-HEE Click- Omg
Got one of the new sabinos! 😍
The Old Gods
03:49:07 Void Malign
:| it's almost 90 in the house
Hyrule Camp
03:48:05 Ryan
rp anyone pm me
KPH Equestrian
03:45:17 Rapcoon | Jester
Thanks fea!<3
Sunfeather Stables
03:40:22 🪶Fea
Nice, KPH!
KPH Equestrian
03:37:35 Rapcoon | Jester
Good spitsy!
-HEE Click-
E.T. Eventing
03:32:59 Zrek
Anyone have experience with housing preferences for uni? Trying to up my chances for the best options but confused about some bits
Dash and Duchess
03:15:01 DD | ~Squizard~
That's amazing sunny!!
Sunstone Elite
03:09:16 Sun/Sunny
Thanks Dim <3
Requiem
03:08:48 Dimmed
Nice Sunny!

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Requiem
04:22:04 Dimmed
Is A dominant over At
WildWind
04:18:24 Wild
-HEE Click-
really happy with him
Lucky Ducky Lane
04:03:45 
Ah jeez, okay thanks!
ArcticLights
03:59:21 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Lucky, if he doesnt have any foals then yes. 10 foals
Lucky Ducky Lane
03:58:39 
If I have a 4 year old stud that I forgot to test, does he still need 10 foals to hit an LB?
Requiem
03:57:04 Dimmed
Jungle might be best since it's cheaper
Requiem
03:56:40 Dimmed
I mean Palo is chestnut cream so... not really
Insignia Elites
03:55:59 Em
Any place in particular?
Amber Basin
03:55:45 Dimmed | Rabi RID
Capture KNN
Insignia Elites
03:55:05 Em
Capture a Premium Palomino Leopard Appaloosa horse.

Whats the best strategy?
Elite Equine Stables
03:51:01 Honey
-HEE Click- Omg
Got one of the new sabinos! 😍
The Old Gods
03:49:07 Void Malign
:| it's almost 90 in the house
Hyrule Camp
03:48:05 Ryan
rp anyone pm me
KPH Equestrian
03:45:17 Rapcoon | Jester
Thanks fea!<3
Sunfeather Stables
03:40:22 🪶Fea
Nice, KPH!
KPH Equestrian
03:37:35 Rapcoon | Jester
Good spitsy!
-HEE Click-
E.T. Eventing
03:32:59 Zrek
Anyone have experience with housing preferences for uni? Trying to up my chances for the best options but confused about some bits
Dash and Duchess
03:15:01 DD | ~Squizard~
That's amazing sunny!!
Sunstone Elite
03:09:16 Sun/Sunny
Thanks Dim <3
Requiem
03:08:48 Dimmed
Nice Sunny!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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