Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


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Maco Stables
01:46:34 Maco
-HEE Click- EWW TB stud up for breeding. It's his last year and there are only a few LC left, don't let this good lad down, give him a chance :)
Whispering Wood Barn
01:16:23 ~Whispy~
Lots of beautiful horses: New Sooty, Brindles, Wild Bays, Chimera, Dark Liver, Peacocks, Manchados and more!
-HEE Click-
Jazz Fingers
12:20:52 
WWW's and more for sale. WB's + TB's.
WWW TB stallion also comes with art.
Prices negotiable, just send me a dm.
-HEE Click-

Auction:
PEE combo's, TB & WB mares. Nice colours.
Highest bid is at 1k.
-HEE Click-
Ghostly Model Horses
11:44:24 Skyrim
I have a full red stained glass for sale in my shop at 80k.
Lunar Wilds
11:26:34 Lux - AAs
WWW AA Freshie Stud up for breed
-HEE Click-
Shiecka
11:11:21 Shi
-HEE Click-
Port Royal Equines
11:05:52 ISO Brave EWW ISH
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
EEW broods!
Whitewolf
10:03:30 Fang
5 year old WWW mare training tracked for sell 450k
-HEE Click-
Last Rose
09:36:28 
-HEE Click-

Cheap foals for adoption or fr quests
Dream Stables
09:34:10 Ava
EEE Broods
-HEE Click-

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Maco Stables
01:46:34 Maco
-HEE Click- EWW TB stud up for breeding. It's his last year and there are only a few LC left, don't let this good lad down, give him a chance :)
Whispering Wood Barn
01:16:23 ~Whispy~
Lots of beautiful horses: New Sooty, Brindles, Wild Bays, Chimera, Dark Liver, Peacocks, Manchados and more!
-HEE Click-
Jazz Fingers
12:20:52 
WWW's and more for sale. WB's + TB's.
WWW TB stallion also comes with art.
Prices negotiable, just send me a dm.
-HEE Click-

Auction:
PEE combo's, TB & WB mares. Nice colours.
Highest bid is at 1k.
-HEE Click-
Ghostly Model Horses
11:44:24 Skyrim
I have a full red stained glass for sale in my shop at 80k.
Lunar Wilds
11:26:34 Lux - AAs
WWW AA Freshie Stud up for breed
-HEE Click-
Shiecka
11:11:21 Shi
-HEE Click-
Port Royal Equines
11:05:52 ISO Brave EWW ISH
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
EEW broods!
Whitewolf
10:03:30 Fang
5 year old WWW mare training tracked for sell 450k
-HEE Click-
Last Rose
09:36:28 
-HEE Click-

Cheap foals for adoption or fr quests
Dream Stables
09:34:10 Ava
EEE Broods
-HEE Click-

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
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High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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