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Port Royal Equines
12:00:46 Elfie
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Lvl 7 gelding for 3k.

Cheap EEE broods.
-HEE Click-
PoloStables
11:32:10 MightyMo
-HEE Click- WWW stallion for stud 5 covers left get them while you still can!
lass
11:17:58 Captain America
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4 WWW stallions for sale!
One of the stallions also has a world class bravery rating!

Straws available from most of the stallions!
Asfamoth
11:01:01 Asfa
Looking to trade maps.
1 Adventurer's for 5 Sherpas.
Fixed rate. Please PM.
Faithful Stables
10:40:10 Faith
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Get them before I geld/FR!
Beamng
10:40:07 Miles Vinuline/Beam
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Free Tack Giveaway! Ends on the 20th!
Includes wings, unicorn horn, and more!
Gem
10:23:36 Tier 1 Artist
Art giveaway #3!!
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AD RID auction, EEE-EWWs. Ends Monday!
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Hayes Family Ranch
09:50:01 Fallon
Tons of World Class Producer Stallions up for Stud! Best prices you'll find, come check them out! Need Ebs! -HEE Click-

Tons of items for sale in my shop as well.

Tons of horses for sale! Open to offers on all of them! -HEE Click-
Cataclysm
09:31:52 Maple Syrup ✨
-HEE Click-
Alderney Stud
09:19:45 Em
Sherpas in shop! -HEE Click-

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Port Royal Equines
12:00:46 Elfie
-HEE Click-
Lvl 7 gelding for 3k.

Cheap EEE broods.
-HEE Click-
PoloStables
11:32:10 MightyMo
-HEE Click- WWW stallion for stud 5 covers left get them while you still can!
lass
11:17:58 Captain America
-HEE Click-

4 WWW stallions for sale!
One of the stallions also has a world class bravery rating!

Straws available from most of the stallions!
Asfamoth
11:01:01 Asfa
Looking to trade maps.
1 Adventurer's for 5 Sherpas.
Fixed rate. Please PM.
Faithful Stables
10:40:10 Faith
-HEE Click-

Get them before I geld/FR!
Beamng
10:40:07 Miles Vinuline/Beam
-HEE Click-
Free Tack Giveaway! Ends on the 20th!
Includes wings, unicorn horn, and more!
Gem
10:23:36 Tier 1 Artist
Art giveaway #3!!
-HEE Click-

AD RID auction, EEE-EWWs. Ends Monday!
-HEE Click-
Hayes Family Ranch
09:50:01 Fallon
Tons of World Class Producer Stallions up for Stud! Best prices you'll find, come check them out! Need Ebs! -HEE Click-

Tons of items for sale in my shop as well.

Tons of horses for sale! Open to offers on all of them! -HEE Click-
Cataclysm
09:31:52 Maple Syrup ✨
-HEE Click-
Alderney Stud
09:19:45 Em
Sherpas in shop! -HEE Click-

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

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Posts: 0
#826307
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High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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