Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Fall   
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Stables Online:  74 
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Cappuccino
05:49:06 Heyy it's Capp
Ok sweet -HEE Click-
and surprising: -HEE Click-
Dunhill Farms
05:29:13 Colorful Capp
Ew thats weird Min.
Minerva
05:14:42 Min
Worth a shot Ash!!


Ugh work have put a new HR policy in place- Ive got to do a back to work meeting over the phone in the middle of what should be my lunchtime because I was off sick on Tuesday. What a pain in the arse!
QualitySH
04:19:51 
with 700k store credits lol
QualitySH
04:19:38 
im currently at 234
Ashcroft Park Stud
04:19:03 Ash
Struggling to find a match for her (haven’t been successful so far lol).. leaning towards this for both embryos + XC med: -HEE Click-
Calela Eventing
04:14:33 Cali
Summit was impressive with their climb! I haven't even hit 100 yet lol
Minerva
04:12:46 Min
Thats assuming the target doesnt move lol. If they start up again at the rate they got to 365 Ive got no chance 🤣
Ashcroft Park Stud
04:11:38 Ash
Ooh amazing, keep it up - hope you can! Still a fair bit of time to be fair
Minerva
04:09:53 Min
I might overtake Summit after all at this rate- currently at 331 gingerbread men
Ashcroft Park Stud
04:06:53 Ash
Yess, that’s the Gemma we like to see!
Minerva
04:06:03 Min
Ooh nice, two double premium pearl quests in a day- thanks Gemma!
Wild River Run Farm
04:04:07 WRR
it may simply be after my premium runs out but thats okay
Wild River Run Farm
04:03:46 WRR
we will be saving for the barn
Wizard Flowers
03:52:42 Flowers
Elfie
Sleep well! I hope you feel better in the morning!
Port Royal Equines
03:50:32 Elfie
I'm off to bed. It's 4am for me. Goodnight everyone. :)
Wizard Flowers
03:47:01 Flowers
-HEE Click- Oops broken link, this one!
Wizard Flowers
03:46:36 Flowers
-HEE Click- I did a couple rerolls for fun and... oh the dopamine.
Calela Eventing
03:38:05 Cali
I sit at the kitchen table or on the carpet and at the ripe age of 13 i have back issues 😅
Ravenwood Farm
03:34:36 
I'm sorry to hear that, Elfie

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Chatbox
Cappuccino
05:49:06 Heyy it's Capp
Ok sweet -HEE Click-
and surprising: -HEE Click-
Dunhill Farms
05:29:13 Colorful Capp
Ew thats weird Min.
Minerva
05:14:42 Min
Worth a shot Ash!!


Ugh work have put a new HR policy in place- Ive got to do a back to work meeting over the phone in the middle of what should be my lunchtime because I was off sick on Tuesday. What a pain in the arse!
QualitySH
04:19:51 
with 700k store credits lol
QualitySH
04:19:38 
im currently at 234
Ashcroft Park Stud
04:19:03 Ash
Struggling to find a match for her (haven’t been successful so far lol).. leaning towards this for both embryos + XC med: -HEE Click-
Calela Eventing
04:14:33 Cali
Summit was impressive with their climb! I haven't even hit 100 yet lol
Minerva
04:12:46 Min
Thats assuming the target doesnt move lol. If they start up again at the rate they got to 365 Ive got no chance 🤣
Ashcroft Park Stud
04:11:38 Ash
Ooh amazing, keep it up - hope you can! Still a fair bit of time to be fair
Minerva
04:09:53 Min
I might overtake Summit after all at this rate- currently at 331 gingerbread men
Ashcroft Park Stud
04:06:53 Ash
Yess, that’s the Gemma we like to see!
Minerva
04:06:03 Min
Ooh nice, two double premium pearl quests in a day- thanks Gemma!
Wild River Run Farm
04:04:07 WRR
it may simply be after my premium runs out but thats okay
Wild River Run Farm
04:03:46 WRR
we will be saving for the barn
Wizard Flowers
03:52:42 Flowers
Elfie
Sleep well! I hope you feel better in the morning!
Port Royal Equines
03:50:32 Elfie
I'm off to bed. It's 4am for me. Goodnight everyone. :)
Wizard Flowers
03:47:01 Flowers
-HEE Click- Oops broken link, this one!
Wizard Flowers
03:46:36 Flowers
-HEE Click- I did a couple rerolls for fun and... oh the dopamine.
Calela Eventing
03:38:05 Cali
I sit at the kitchen table or on the carpet and at the ripe age of 13 i have back issues 😅
Ravenwood Farm
03:34:36 
I'm sorry to hear that, Elfie

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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