Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Fall   
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Taiga Stables
12:05:09 
-HEE Click-
EE-WWW TB auction!
Bamboozled Ranch
11:40:28 
-HEE Click-
Looking to do full/partial trades for this boy! ISO X and TB WW combo mares, art, palettes, breeding items, ect. Please PM me!
Nightfall Dressage
11:16:00 Witchy
WWW Runfell colt, EEE fillies, and more!
-HEE Click-
Bumblebee Stables
10:59:43 Sprite
Auctioning EWE / EEE Combos. Need them goneee
-HEE Click-
CarterStables
10:59:40 Brooke
Various rated horses up for auction. Breeds ranging from WBs to KNN. Mostly mares. All horses are under 10 years old.
Trying to get these cuties to a new home!

-HEE Click-
Cataclysm
10:41:07 Maple Syrup ✨
-HEE Click-
Midnight Vale
10:03:52 Kore/Vale
MVP Sleep Token
WWW TB Stallion
Multiple EEE and WEE combo producer
Stud Fee: 20k -HEE Click-

Multiple EEE and WEE combo TBs for sale, training tracked -HEE Click-
Silver-Oak Stables
10:02:46 WB & SH Horses
-HEE Click- WB and SH horses for sale - Great colour or ratings.

-HEE Click- Also please vote for this
DragonFyre Estate
09:55:51 Whip
These 3 WWW mares have their 2nd embryo available for this month. PM me if you're interested.
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-

EEE to WWW TB and AA boys for sale. Some are LB themselves and all are LB bred. Some have color to boot. Old lines included. Will be FRd on RO. PM me to discuss. Prices are VERY flexible.
-HEE Click-
Ambrosia
09:52:05 Amb
-HEE Click-
WWW X filly for sale

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Taiga Stables
12:05:09 
-HEE Click-
EE-WWW TB auction!
Bamboozled Ranch
11:40:28 
-HEE Click-
Looking to do full/partial trades for this boy! ISO X and TB WW combo mares, art, palettes, breeding items, ect. Please PM me!
Nightfall Dressage
11:16:00 Witchy
WWW Runfell colt, EEE fillies, and more!
-HEE Click-
Bumblebee Stables
10:59:43 Sprite
Auctioning EWE / EEE Combos. Need them goneee
-HEE Click-
CarterStables
10:59:40 Brooke
Various rated horses up for auction. Breeds ranging from WBs to KNN. Mostly mares. All horses are under 10 years old.
Trying to get these cuties to a new home!

-HEE Click-
Cataclysm
10:41:07 Maple Syrup ✨
-HEE Click-
Midnight Vale
10:03:52 Kore/Vale
MVP Sleep Token
WWW TB Stallion
Multiple EEE and WEE combo producer
Stud Fee: 20k -HEE Click-

Multiple EEE and WEE combo TBs for sale, training tracked -HEE Click-
Silver-Oak Stables
10:02:46 WB & SH Horses
-HEE Click- WB and SH horses for sale - Great colour or ratings.

-HEE Click- Also please vote for this
DragonFyre Estate
09:55:51 Whip
These 3 WWW mares have their 2nd embryo available for this month. PM me if you're interested.
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-
-HEE Click-

EEE to WWW TB and AA boys for sale. Some are LB themselves and all are LB bred. Some have color to boot. Old lines included. Will be FRd on RO. PM me to discuss. Prices are VERY flexible.
-HEE Click-
Ambrosia
09:52:05 Amb
-HEE Click-
WWW X filly for sale

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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