Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Winter   
$: 0
Forecast: Sunshine with a Solar Eclipse
Forecast:
Sat 09:10pm  
Stables Online:  114 
Chatbox
the Lost Mills
08:57:05 Please buy!!!!!!*
Auction starting soon! Cheap horses!

-HEE Click-
Blueberry Ledge
08:55:20 
-HEE Click-

Brindles
Chimera
Manchado
Sooty
1/1s
Peacocks
Bloody Shoulder
Willow Kiss Stables
08:51:32 Hannah
Looking to buy 3 month upgrades for all 3 of my accounts! Ebs in hand.
Willow Rose
08:33:49 Willow
Highly rated and colorful SH stallions for stud including WWW’s and color W combos! Low cost breeding fee. Please help me test out my boys, it’d be greatly appreciated!! -HEE Click-

WWW freshman SH stallion and W combo producer Open to offers and/or trades (including mares!)
-HEE Click-
moon stable
08:31:02 
all bigs are 2500 and littles are 750-1000 ebs
moon stable
08:29:27 
I need ebs for another barn please buy from me!
moon stable
08:27:15 
huge blowout sale
Paradise Stables
08:24:17 Ariel / Tara
1. Stallions up for stud and for sale:
-HEE Click-

2. Mares for sale:
RID/ISH/SH:
-HEE Click-
RID/KNN/SH (14.3-15.3h)
-HEE Click-
PON:
-HEE Click-

3. Geldings for sale. Most are 1000ebs.
-HEE Click-

4. Colts for sale:
-HEE Click-
Hotel California
08:23:53 
Looking for a 3 month upgrade, ebs on hand
Cataclysm
08:13:33 Maple Syrup ✨
-HEE Click-

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



Rules   Hide
You are in: Sales
View Main Chat
Quests

Embark on a Quest.

Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
the Lost Mills
08:57:05 Please buy!!!!!!*
Auction starting soon! Cheap horses!

-HEE Click-
Blueberry Ledge
08:55:20 
-HEE Click-

Brindles
Chimera
Manchado
Sooty
1/1s
Peacocks
Bloody Shoulder
Willow Kiss Stables
08:51:32 Hannah
Looking to buy 3 month upgrades for all 3 of my accounts! Ebs in hand.
Willow Rose
08:33:49 Willow
Highly rated and colorful SH stallions for stud including WWW’s and color W combos! Low cost breeding fee. Please help me test out my boys, it’d be greatly appreciated!! -HEE Click-

WWW freshman SH stallion and W combo producer Open to offers and/or trades (including mares!)
-HEE Click-
moon stable
08:31:02 
all bigs are 2500 and littles are 750-1000 ebs
moon stable
08:29:27 
I need ebs for another barn please buy from me!
moon stable
08:27:15 
huge blowout sale
Paradise Stables
08:24:17 Ariel / Tara
1. Stallions up for stud and for sale:
-HEE Click-

2. Mares for sale:
RID/ISH/SH:
-HEE Click-
RID/KNN/SH (14.3-15.3h)
-HEE Click-
PON:
-HEE Click-

3. Geldings for sale. Most are 1000ebs.
-HEE Click-

4. Colts for sale:
-HEE Click-
Hotel California
08:23:53 
Looking for a 3 month upgrade, ebs on hand
Cataclysm
08:13:33 Maple Syrup ✨
-HEE Click-

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






Refresh


Forums

→ Horse Eden is a fun game! Sign Up Now!

My Subscriptions
My Bookmarks
My Topics
Latest Topics
Following

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
Give Award
This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Refresh