Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 195   Season: Summer   
$: 0
Forecast: Steady Rain all Day
Forecast:
Mon 04:23pm  
Stables Online:  140 
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Arvalon Studs
04:23:08 Tosk's KNN
Well. Considering your sire matches you the best.. might as well turn your pedi into a circle.

-HEE Click-
The Old Gods
04:22:22 Void Malign
Just bad luck, unfortuantely
Glacier Bay Cove
04:21:10 Glacier Katz
Did any of the parents have dominant champagne genes
Acacia Riding Center
04:19:26 
Breed a homozygous Champagne foal. This is a foal with two dominant Champagne genes:ChCh
I have literally bred almost 10 foals trying to get this quest and they were champagne, both parents as well. What is going on :(
MakeEm Fancy
04:18:03 Ally 💜
Oh no Storm XD
Bioshock Manor
04:17:37 Storm
I made mine die Ally XD
Clay Dawn
04:16:36 
anyone wanna join raid for a quest ^_^
MakeEm Fancy
04:16:00 Ally 💜
I made my accountant cry
ghost light stables
04:13:50 Ghost rapcoon(the og
Ducky

For my birthday I got three whole sets of cooling sports medicine boots :3 I volunteer you to ride duchess in the cheetah print set XD but shinner is scared of them because they have patterns
Peachy
04:13:33 peach ❥
thank you, lovely!!
Dash and Duchess
04:10:54 DD | ~Squizard~
heya Willow!
-
ghostie, xD i swear i wish they understood our efforts to help them lol
-
peach, happy early b-day!!
Peachy
04:08:26 peach ❥
should have it up by next month :)) it's my birthday this weekend so i don't want to take too much on before this is over :p
Glacier Bay Cove
04:05:39 Glacier Katz
Stalking Peachy’s future art shop as well
Peachy
04:03:47 peach ❥
def need to work on getting lighting down, that was my weak spot before too
Bluegrass Racing
04:03:15 Blue
O_O never had any horse show up on HOTY boards before. Thats random and cool.
-HEE Click-
ghost light stables
04:02:18 Ghost rapcoon(the og
Ducky
He's now pissed at me because I put bak on trak boots on him lmao
Willow Grove
04:02:09 Stalker of Chat
DD! Heya :)
Dash and Duchess
04:02:06 DD | ~Squizard~
Peach, you got this! And I'll totally stalk that shop <3
Peachy
04:00:04 peach ❥
thank you <33 i can't wait to get better haha maybe an art shop in my future
Dash and Duchess
03:59:20 DD | ~Squizard~
Eagle, she's so awesome!
-
Peach, it looks so great! That does not look like it's a just first piece back lol!

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Arvalon Studs
04:23:08 Tosk's KNN
Well. Considering your sire matches you the best.. might as well turn your pedi into a circle.

-HEE Click-
The Old Gods
04:22:22 Void Malign
Just bad luck, unfortuantely
Glacier Bay Cove
04:21:10 Glacier Katz
Did any of the parents have dominant champagne genes
Acacia Riding Center
04:19:26 
Breed a homozygous Champagne foal. This is a foal with two dominant Champagne genes:ChCh
I have literally bred almost 10 foals trying to get this quest and they were champagne, both parents as well. What is going on :(
MakeEm Fancy
04:18:03 Ally 💜
Oh no Storm XD
Bioshock Manor
04:17:37 Storm
I made mine die Ally XD
Clay Dawn
04:16:36 
anyone wanna join raid for a quest ^_^
MakeEm Fancy
04:16:00 Ally 💜
I made my accountant cry
ghost light stables
04:13:50 Ghost rapcoon(the og
Ducky

For my birthday I got three whole sets of cooling sports medicine boots :3 I volunteer you to ride duchess in the cheetah print set XD but shinner is scared of them because they have patterns
Peachy
04:13:33 peach ❥
thank you, lovely!!
Dash and Duchess
04:10:54 DD | ~Squizard~
heya Willow!
-
ghostie, xD i swear i wish they understood our efforts to help them lol
-
peach, happy early b-day!!
Peachy
04:08:26 peach ❥
should have it up by next month :)) it's my birthday this weekend so i don't want to take too much on before this is over :p
Glacier Bay Cove
04:05:39 Glacier Katz
Stalking Peachy’s future art shop as well
Peachy
04:03:47 peach ❥
def need to work on getting lighting down, that was my weak spot before too
Bluegrass Racing
04:03:15 Blue
O_O never had any horse show up on HOTY boards before. Thats random and cool.
-HEE Click-
ghost light stables
04:02:18 Ghost rapcoon(the og
Ducky
He's now pissed at me because I put bak on trak boots on him lmao
Willow Grove
04:02:09 Stalker of Chat
DD! Heya :)
Dash and Duchess
04:02:06 DD | ~Squizard~
Peach, you got this! And I'll totally stalk that shop <3
Peachy
04:00:04 peach ❥
thank you <33 i can't wait to get better haha maybe an art shop in my future
Dash and Duchess
03:59:20 DD | ~Squizard~
Eagle, she's so awesome!
-
Peach, it looks so great! That does not look like it's a just first piece back lol!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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