Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Summer   
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Stables Online:  112 
Chatbox
SUMMER OF PEARLS
09:12:02 
oh my!
Hummingbird Meadows
09:10:32 Bird
I think it's so underrated. I recently got Disney+ to watch a series and felt like a movie tonight.
Nightingales Ridge
09:09:59 𔓘 Issy
I have it on dvd lol
Nightingales Ridge
09:09:47 𔓘 Issy
Oh my goodness that's a good one. I hope you have a better day
Alderney Stud
09:09:31 Em
Such a good movie
Hummingbird Meadows
09:08:54 Bird
@Issy, Brother Bear
Nightingales Ridge
09:08:48 𔓘 Issy
Summer - dapples your horse
Nightingales Ridge
09:08:19 𔓘 Issy
Bird which movie?
Coruscant Farm
09:07:38 
Not much, I never do.
Hummingbird Meadows
09:07:01 Bird
Bit of a rough day. Going to watch one of my favorite movies.
SUMMER OF PEARLS
09:04:01 
in the game, what is the importance of feeding grain?
Glacier Bay Cove
09:02:24 Glacier Kittens
I agree,,and it will make beautiful babies with my other daylilies
Alderney Stud
08:54:41 Em
Thats beautiful!
Glacier Bay Cove
08:54:20 Glacier Kittens
I want to buy this one next -Click-
Insignia Elites
08:53:10 Em
Im really trying xD I even started a blog about my little journey lol
Glacier Bay Cove
08:52:26 Glacier Kittens
Love it, Em
Insignia Elites
08:49:51 Em
-Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
08:46:02 Glacier Kittens
Once the flowers open up, I will pop them in chat
Insignia Elites
08:45:56 Em
Im waiting for the dahlias to wake up still. I don't have too much room! I also have snapdragons growing
Insignia Elites
08:44:51 Em
I bought some sunflowers called Pro cut plum and they are sprouting! I also have some filler flowers/greenery for bouquets that are sprouting!

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



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Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
SUMMER OF PEARLS
09:12:02 
oh my!
Hummingbird Meadows
09:10:32 Bird
I think it's so underrated. I recently got Disney+ to watch a series and felt like a movie tonight.
Nightingales Ridge
09:09:59 𔓘 Issy
I have it on dvd lol
Nightingales Ridge
09:09:47 𔓘 Issy
Oh my goodness that's a good one. I hope you have a better day
Alderney Stud
09:09:31 Em
Such a good movie
Hummingbird Meadows
09:08:54 Bird
@Issy, Brother Bear
Nightingales Ridge
09:08:48 𔓘 Issy
Summer - dapples your horse
Nightingales Ridge
09:08:19 𔓘 Issy
Bird which movie?
Coruscant Farm
09:07:38 
Not much, I never do.
Hummingbird Meadows
09:07:01 Bird
Bit of a rough day. Going to watch one of my favorite movies.
SUMMER OF PEARLS
09:04:01 
in the game, what is the importance of feeding grain?
Glacier Bay Cove
09:02:24 Glacier Kittens
I agree,,and it will make beautiful babies with my other daylilies
Alderney Stud
08:54:41 Em
Thats beautiful!
Glacier Bay Cove
08:54:20 Glacier Kittens
I want to buy this one next -Click-
Insignia Elites
08:53:10 Em
Im really trying xD I even started a blog about my little journey lol
Glacier Bay Cove
08:52:26 Glacier Kittens
Love it, Em
Insignia Elites
08:49:51 Em
-Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
08:46:02 Glacier Kittens
Once the flowers open up, I will pop them in chat
Insignia Elites
08:45:56 Em
Im waiting for the dahlias to wake up still. I don't have too much room! I also have snapdragons growing
Insignia Elites
08:44:51 Em
I bought some sunflowers called Pro cut plum and they are sprouting! I also have some filler flowers/greenery for bouquets that are sprouting!

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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