Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


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Angels angels
02:08:19 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Sting
Depends on for what lol
Narran Park
02:07:54 Sting
To buy a Sven...or to NOT buy a Sven...
SwankPony
02:07:17 Swanky
Such a procrasinator. Waiting last minute to track my training for the week.
BlackRose
02:07:15 Stella
I got one for you to help you out :)
Rubygem
02:06:29 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
You don't have to give it to me if you don't want to I don't mind
Rubygem
02:05:55 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
No
BlackRose
02:05:44 Stella
Is it for a quest?
Rubygem
02:05:12 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
And my grandpa sent me 250 dollars for Christmas which was a surprise
Rubygem
02:04:29 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
Ya
Rubygem
02:04:19 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
Lol Christmas is coming up soon
BlackRose
02:04:15 Stella
Like him?

-HEE Click-
The Undercity
02:04:07 Dory
Peggy
Its hard for me to tell cause honestly you can't tell what her weaknesses are
Rubygem
02:03:46 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
Yes solid
Nightfall Dressage
02:03:35 Witchy
Omg I didn’t even realize RO is tonight
Pegasus Lane
02:03:13 Peggy (or) Peg
Ohh I forgot about him. What items would be needed?
BlackRose
02:02:28 Stella
Just solid Blue Roan?
Rubygem
02:01:59 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
No I don't really need that
BlackRose
02:01:36 Stella
Sorry for all the questions, do you prefer any other markings on? Like splash white or anything? Or no..?
The Undercity
02:01:22 Dory
Peggy
Telperion might be fun cause he is LpLp and your girl is ToTo
Rubygem
01:59:36 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
Foals

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Angels angels
02:08:19 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Sting
Depends on for what lol
Narran Park
02:07:54 Sting
To buy a Sven...or to NOT buy a Sven...
SwankPony
02:07:17 Swanky
Such a procrasinator. Waiting last minute to track my training for the week.
BlackRose
02:07:15 Stella
I got one for you to help you out :)
Rubygem
02:06:29 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
You don't have to give it to me if you don't want to I don't mind
Rubygem
02:05:55 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
No
BlackRose
02:05:44 Stella
Is it for a quest?
Rubygem
02:05:12 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
And my grandpa sent me 250 dollars for Christmas which was a surprise
Rubygem
02:04:29 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
Ya
Rubygem
02:04:19 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
Lol Christmas is coming up soon
BlackRose
02:04:15 Stella
Like him?

-HEE Click-
The Undercity
02:04:07 Dory
Peggy
Its hard for me to tell cause honestly you can't tell what her weaknesses are
Rubygem
02:03:46 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
Yes solid
Nightfall Dressage
02:03:35 Witchy
Omg I didn’t even realize RO is tonight
Pegasus Lane
02:03:13 Peggy (or) Peg
Ohh I forgot about him. What items would be needed?
BlackRose
02:02:28 Stella
Just solid Blue Roan?
Rubygem
02:01:59 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
No I don't really need that
BlackRose
02:01:36 Stella
Sorry for all the questions, do you prefer any other markings on? Like splash white or anything? Or no..?
The Undercity
02:01:22 Dory
Peggy
Telperion might be fun cause he is LpLp and your girl is ToTo
Rubygem
01:59:36 Asha ~ Ruby girl :D
Foals

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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