Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Spring   
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Bubble Acres
05:04:43 
Briar just wanna say when you click the link it's a white page and shows nothing.
Briar Thorn Ranch
05:04:40 Rowena/Ro
broken link Ally
Alsike Equestrian
05:03:05 Ally
-HEE Click- !!!
Briar Thorn Ranch
04:59:53 Rowena/Ro
-HEE Click-

urgh he's so pretty, if he had 1 more W he could have stayed intact but instead he's gone to gelding camp :(
Lilac Heart
04:59:32 Lilac
-HEE Click-
Ugh only an EEE of course
Sychnant Stables
04:57:56 
-HEE Click- Prettiest so far!
Bubble Acres
04:57:14 
Isn't she a beauty -HEE Click-
Wolf Dancer
04:51:51 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Oh Shiney *_*
-HEE Click-
Oakmoss Stud
04:49:50 Oak
-HEE Click- I hate that capture quests always give me the prettiest, most terribly rated horses 🥲
Wolf Dancer
04:48:02 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Val
Real >.>
Vahana
04:47:40 Val
I need to go through my barns later today and start a cull now... Too many mares floating around xD
Gem
04:47:39 Gem
Aww haha cute Court!
Hickory Park Farm
04:47:16 Stone Haven/Court
-HEE Click- oop theres mine lol
Hickory Park Farm
04:46:47 Stone Haven/Court
I have her twin, except as a WB Gem lol -HEE Click-
Minnie RID
04:46:04 Min
-HEE Click-

Why are you a colt aargh
Gem
04:44:59 Gem
Thanks Wolf!
Wolf Dancer
04:43:19 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Gem
Ohh congrats!
Ashcroft Park Stud
04:42:31 Ash
Oak - haha we’re in the same boat, working from home is the best 😂
Ashcroft Park Stud
04:42:04 Ash
So proud of her, homebred and first foal was WWW. Deffo going to repeat the match for her second embryo
Gem
04:41:56 Gem
Almost makes up for this disgrace
-HEE Click-

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Bubble Acres
05:04:43 
Briar just wanna say when you click the link it's a white page and shows nothing.
Briar Thorn Ranch
05:04:40 Rowena/Ro
broken link Ally
Alsike Equestrian
05:03:05 Ally
-HEE Click- !!!
Briar Thorn Ranch
04:59:53 Rowena/Ro
-HEE Click-

urgh he's so pretty, if he had 1 more W he could have stayed intact but instead he's gone to gelding camp :(
Lilac Heart
04:59:32 Lilac
-HEE Click-
Ugh only an EEE of course
Sychnant Stables
04:57:56 
-HEE Click- Prettiest so far!
Bubble Acres
04:57:14 
Isn't she a beauty -HEE Click-
Wolf Dancer
04:51:51 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Oh Shiney *_*
-HEE Click-
Oakmoss Stud
04:49:50 Oak
-HEE Click- I hate that capture quests always give me the prettiest, most terribly rated horses 🥲
Wolf Dancer
04:48:02 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Val
Real >.>
Vahana
04:47:40 Val
I need to go through my barns later today and start a cull now... Too many mares floating around xD
Gem
04:47:39 Gem
Aww haha cute Court!
Hickory Park Farm
04:47:16 Stone Haven/Court
-HEE Click- oop theres mine lol
Hickory Park Farm
04:46:47 Stone Haven/Court
I have her twin, except as a WB Gem lol -HEE Click-
Minnie RID
04:46:04 Min
-HEE Click-

Why are you a colt aargh
Gem
04:44:59 Gem
Thanks Wolf!
Wolf Dancer
04:43:19 Wolf Burger (Leg)
Gem
Ohh congrats!
Ashcroft Park Stud
04:42:31 Ash
Oak - haha we’re in the same boat, working from home is the best 😂
Ashcroft Park Stud
04:42:04 Ash
So proud of her, homebred and first foal was WWW. Deffo going to repeat the match for her second embryo
Gem
04:41:56 Gem
Almost makes up for this disgrace
-HEE Click-

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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