Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 201   Season: Winter   
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Stables Online:  142 
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The Old Gods
09:17:26 Void Malign
okay, well, that's dumb lmfao. So much for an easy overview
Sweet Valley
09:16:56 Anna/Jewel
Ive got just 30k saved for RO... Which is tomorrow... but 30k saved is a start for me!
Snitches' Stitches
09:16:24 Snitch
Hmmm do I buy a barn for my bravery horses or buy one and expand my random collection barn
Vixen Creek
09:15:50 Vixie
this person next to me on the bus is making a call on speaker phone... seriously?
The Old Gods
09:14:51 Void Malign
you'd assume they'd be under 'extras'
full moon
09:14:50 usagi
I am 3 points behind the 2nd team for Most Points This Year
Team
Vixen Creek
09:14:47 Vixie
i should also probably just save some embryos for later
Vixen Creek
09:13:39 Vixie
it is Ash lol, just wish i was better at making decisions so i know who to use them on 😂
Silver Melody Acres
09:12:59 Solar - KNNs
I'm not sure there's anywhere else besides that
The Old Gods
09:12:51 Void Malign
yeah, that only helps with decor that's on a horse
full moon
09:12:42 usagi
I wish I had a sven. I've never used one, so I'm sitting there waiting for it in the store.
Ashcroft Park Stud
09:12:38 Ash
That’s a great problem to have though Vixie 🦄
ryn - RIDs
09:12:30 sxdisticsoul ♱
So I'm new to premium, I so didn't realize there was an actual match maker, I've been hand matching my horses this entire time LOL.
Silver Melody Acres
09:12:09 Solar - KNNs
oh, there's Where's My Decor in reports!
The Old Gods
09:11:55 Void Malign
I just want a list of decor I have like the inventory e_e; only place I'm finding a list is the art editor
Vixen Creek
09:11:48 Vixie
i have too many promising/good mares to use this ro to sven all of them :,)
Eclipse Estate
09:11:48 EE
-HEE Click- 0.0 that color
full moon
09:10:51 usagi
maybe try reports>wheres my tack?
Looking Glass Stable
09:10:08 IA Glass 👋
I'm barely getting through my bravery programs now. Hooray (':
The Old Gods
09:09:12 Void Malign
already looked there

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The Old Gods
09:17:26 Void Malign
okay, well, that's dumb lmfao. So much for an easy overview
Sweet Valley
09:16:56 Anna/Jewel
Ive got just 30k saved for RO... Which is tomorrow... but 30k saved is a start for me!
Snitches' Stitches
09:16:24 Snitch
Hmmm do I buy a barn for my bravery horses or buy one and expand my random collection barn
Vixen Creek
09:15:50 Vixie
this person next to me on the bus is making a call on speaker phone... seriously?
The Old Gods
09:14:51 Void Malign
you'd assume they'd be under 'extras'
full moon
09:14:50 usagi
I am 3 points behind the 2nd team for Most Points This Year
Team
Vixen Creek
09:14:47 Vixie
i should also probably just save some embryos for later
Vixen Creek
09:13:39 Vixie
it is Ash lol, just wish i was better at making decisions so i know who to use them on 😂
Silver Melody Acres
09:12:59 Solar - KNNs
I'm not sure there's anywhere else besides that
The Old Gods
09:12:51 Void Malign
yeah, that only helps with decor that's on a horse
full moon
09:12:42 usagi
I wish I had a sven. I've never used one, so I'm sitting there waiting for it in the store.
Ashcroft Park Stud
09:12:38 Ash
That’s a great problem to have though Vixie 🦄
ryn - RIDs
09:12:30 sxdisticsoul ♱
So I'm new to premium, I so didn't realize there was an actual match maker, I've been hand matching my horses this entire time LOL.
Silver Melody Acres
09:12:09 Solar - KNNs
oh, there's Where's My Decor in reports!
The Old Gods
09:11:55 Void Malign
I just want a list of decor I have like the inventory e_e; only place I'm finding a list is the art editor
Vixen Creek
09:11:48 Vixie
i have too many promising/good mares to use this ro to sven all of them :,)
Eclipse Estate
09:11:48 EE
-HEE Click- 0.0 that color
full moon
09:10:51 usagi
maybe try reports>wheres my tack?
Looking Glass Stable
09:10:08 IA Glass 👋
I'm barely getting through my bravery programs now. Hooray (':
The Old Gods
09:09:12 Void Malign
already looked there

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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