Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 198   Season: Winter   
$: 0
Forecast: Sunny
Forecast:
Thu 08:28am  
Stables Online:  110 
Chatbox
Gemstone Stable
08:26:47 Snow❆Gem
@opal

lol Oh yes! XD
Phantom Echoes
08:26:43 Win | Mar
Anyone want to help stock hunting? Shoot me a DM ^^
Gemstone Stable
08:25:46 Snow❆Gem
@swanky

I've heard about Pontiacs. ;P You could drive into the ground and still have a long life. lol

I'm into Buicks. I'd love to get my parents car. 2012 4cly very good on gas and I know all the maintenance/replacements its had. ;P 117k too!
Tamarack Mountain
08:24:37 Opal
she is pretty much ready to marry Mr. Endeavor lol -HEE Click-
SwankPony
08:20:58 Swanky
It was my first car, so a lot was learned since then but man was that car great. I had it for about 5 yrs and did the oil twice… that car got abused so much but could always get from A to B …
Calela Eventing
08:20:52 Cali
Happy 15th you two!
Faithful Stables
08:19:49 Faith
I can't believe its been 15 years, time really does fly!
Faithful Stables
08:19:25 Faith
Happy 15 to you too! <3
Phantom Echoes
08:19:24 Win | Mar
Faith
Ooh! Congrats!
Faithful Stables
08:19:07 Faith
Hi Ven!! Thank you so much!! 🥰
Calela Eventing
08:17:26 Cali
my face is so stuffed, i haven't gotten any work done
Stormsong Manor
08:17:15 Ven
I hit 15 years two weeks ago :D
Stormsong Manor
08:16:53 Ven
Faith <3 Happy 15!!
Gem Queens Estate
08:16:41 Snow❆Gem
I can't wait to drive myself to work and get more hours. But works parking lot is TIGHT. O.o
Daydream
08:14:34 Win | ISH
Swanky
Damn, thats... An impressive car lol
SwankPony
08:14:34 Swanky
It got sick of the abuse. I totally would get another Pontiac tho!
Gemstone Stable
08:13:39 Snow❆Gem
@swanky

O.o holy moly!
Angels angels
08:13:28 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Swanky
It self destructed lol
SwankPony
08:12:48 Swanky
Once had a car that was a tank, hit 3 deers, 2 cars, and had its bumper torn off… at the end was held together by duck tape. Shame what did the car in was its own hood smashing the window.
Angels angels
08:11:50 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Aris
I go to school in Kennesaw so yeah I know lol
My car is so dinged up from college people who can't drive and just driving on the interstate so much

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



Rules   Hide
You are in: Main Chat
View Sales Chat
Quests

Embark on a Quest.

Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
Gemstone Stable
08:26:47 Snow❆Gem
@opal

lol Oh yes! XD
Phantom Echoes
08:26:43 Win | Mar
Anyone want to help stock hunting? Shoot me a DM ^^
Gemstone Stable
08:25:46 Snow❆Gem
@swanky

I've heard about Pontiacs. ;P You could drive into the ground and still have a long life. lol

I'm into Buicks. I'd love to get my parents car. 2012 4cly very good on gas and I know all the maintenance/replacements its had. ;P 117k too!
Tamarack Mountain
08:24:37 Opal
she is pretty much ready to marry Mr. Endeavor lol -HEE Click-
SwankPony
08:20:58 Swanky
It was my first car, so a lot was learned since then but man was that car great. I had it for about 5 yrs and did the oil twice… that car got abused so much but could always get from A to B …
Calela Eventing
08:20:52 Cali
Happy 15th you two!
Faithful Stables
08:19:49 Faith
I can't believe its been 15 years, time really does fly!
Faithful Stables
08:19:25 Faith
Happy 15 to you too! <3
Phantom Echoes
08:19:24 Win | Mar
Faith
Ooh! Congrats!
Faithful Stables
08:19:07 Faith
Hi Ven!! Thank you so much!! 🥰
Calela Eventing
08:17:26 Cali
my face is so stuffed, i haven't gotten any work done
Stormsong Manor
08:17:15 Ven
I hit 15 years two weeks ago :D
Stormsong Manor
08:16:53 Ven
Faith <3 Happy 15!!
Gem Queens Estate
08:16:41 Snow❆Gem
I can't wait to drive myself to work and get more hours. But works parking lot is TIGHT. O.o
Daydream
08:14:34 Win | ISH
Swanky
Damn, thats... An impressive car lol
SwankPony
08:14:34 Swanky
It got sick of the abuse. I totally would get another Pontiac tho!
Gemstone Stable
08:13:39 Snow❆Gem
@swanky

O.o holy moly!
Angels angels
08:13:28 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Swanky
It self destructed lol
SwankPony
08:12:48 Swanky
Once had a car that was a tank, hit 3 deers, 2 cars, and had its bumper torn off… at the end was held together by duck tape. Shame what did the car in was its own hood smashing the window.
Angels angels
08:11:50 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Aris
I go to school in Kennesaw so yeah I know lol
My car is so dinged up from college people who can't drive and just driving on the interstate so much

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






Refresh


Forums

→ Horse Eden is a fun game! Sign Up Now!

My Subscriptions
My Bookmarks
My Topics
Latest Topics
Following

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
Give Award
This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
Give Award
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826307
Give Award

High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Refresh