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gurl same
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Amity she's gorgeous omg
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Thank you, Shady. Love that badger on your filly!
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Super pretty!
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This month actually, I was planning on doing embryo pulls
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Dulcie June-July?
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What month does the rumble usually take place in?
Lacy Sky Ranch
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God is Mighty Stable
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Chatbox
fire
11:08:56 
gurl same
Spartan_Silverwood
11:03:09 Gurl
-HEE Click-
I love slowly getting W rated frames into my herd and she's fricken adorable
Amity Point Stables
11:01:08 Amity 🦈
Thank you!
Palomino Meadow
10:57:04 
Amity she's gorgeous omg
Amity Point Stables
10:54:44 Amity 🦈
Thank you, Shady. Love that badger on your filly!
Shady Tree Farm
10:53:17 Shady
Super pretty!
Amity Point Stables
10:52:38 Amity 🦈
Chimera, WWW, from my favorite mare... could not get any better.

-HEE Click-
Shady Tree Farm
10:50:51 Shady
I can't stop looking at her <3
-HEE Click-
Laikaa
10:50:51 Laika
What
fire
10:49:06 
uuuuuuuuu
fire
10:49:00 
ppp
fire
10:48:53 
ewex www straw
equals
Frog Judgment Acers
10:43:14 Dulcie/Crazy
This month actually, I was planning on doing embryo pulls
Gaelic Gladiacres
10:41:43 Gladius
Dulcie June-July?
Frog Judgment Acers
10:35:52 Dulcie/Crazy
Match help?
-HEE Click-
luna stables
10:35:26 
pretty.
-HEE Click-
Frog Judgment Acers
10:34:07 Dulcie/Crazy
What month does the rumble usually take place in?
Lacy Sky Ranch
10:23:51 
-HEE Click- That's an interesting one
God is Mighty Stable
10:16:51 Willow~KNN & PON
-HEE Click-
Nice
God is Mighty Stable
10:14:30 Willow~KNN & PON
-HEE Click-
This coat

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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1 

Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 19, 2020 08:38 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826002
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This story is about a 12-year-old human-animal hybrid (called an Animorphi) named Auburn, her roommates, and an evil force planning to destroy the human population and let the Animorph rise to greatness. Here's the document, for those who wish to read:
(I changed the settings, it should work)
Any ideas? Comments? Constructive criticism?
PLEASE don't edit the document, leave comments instead!
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:34 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#826305
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hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3
Im writing a story (Most likely trash) December 20, 2020 02:37 PM

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Posts: 0
#826307
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High Altitude Horses said:
hi! i didn't read it all through yet, but I definitely have some tips for you c:

-try not to infodump, especially at the beginning of the story. this can definitely deter readers and makes establishing a clear voice difficult. reveal things the POV character knows over time, or more subtly to make it feel more natural, especially when writing in first person.

-try to write numbers and such out in words, this makes the flow seem much less choppy. when listing things that the character is thinking about try to go train of thought and not do a)this and b) this. It doesn't flow very nicely

-with dialogue, especially when it's going fast-paced, you don't need to tag every line if it is clear who's talking! (ex. "woah," she said) it can slow things down and make the dialogue unrealistic.

that's all I have after kinda skimming the first few pages. You're doing a good job! Creating a consistent writing style just takes time! You'll get there eventually, keep it up <3


Thank you! I've been going through and deleting all the unnecessary information

Edited at December 20, 2020 02:38 PM by SweetFire Fields

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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