Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Summer   
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Aura Show Horses
01:30:05 pea/ brindle buddie
-HEE Click- your horse is so cool!
Aura Show Horses
01:27:48 pea/ brindle buddie
Thanks time!
Unicorn Academy
01:27:13 D Time/Wildstar
Amazing horse, Brindle!
Aura Show Horses
01:26:21 pea/ brindle buddie
-HEE Click- my best horse so far! See ya 123!
Unicorn Academy
01:26:01 D Time/Wildstar
Good Night, 123!
123 I don't know
01:24:56 123/Screamin Eagle
I'll have to go, but I will be back tomorrow! Good Night!
Aura Show Horses
01:24:44 pea/ brindle buddie
Oh I've done that before! It hurts!
123 I don't know
01:23:48 123/Screamin Eagle
I tried to both, but I ended up spending 50k without any world class ratings.
Aura Show Horses
01:23:13 pea/ brindle buddie
I have bred horses with world class ratings but not a WWW yet...
123 I don't know
01:21:51 123/Screamin Eagle
Brindle

Have you breed a WWW or an horse with an world class rating?
MC Ace
01:20:44 McFossil
Thanks all!
He was definitely a surprise.
Aura Show Horses
01:20:02 pea/ brindle buddie
Cool 123!!! I also work on breeding!
Aura Show Horses
01:19:15 pea/ brindle buddie
Cute colt!!
123 I don't know
01:18:58 123/Screamin Eagle
I'm trying to breed many horses.

I don't have real horses, but I wish I do. I'm also 14 years old and homeschooled.
Lucky
01:18:48 luvky
Oh nice colt!
MC Ace
01:17:46 McFossil
Wowza

-HEE Click-
Aura Show Horses
01:16:59 pea/ brindle buddie
What are you up to? Horse something?
123 I don't know
01:16:01 123/Screamin Eagle
I'm doing great as well.
Aura Show Horses
01:15:28 pea/ brindle buddie
I'm great!(: how are you?
123 I don't know
01:14:48 123/Screamin Eagle
Hi, Brindle! How are you doing?

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Chatbox
Aura Show Horses
01:30:05 pea/ brindle buddie
-HEE Click- your horse is so cool!
Aura Show Horses
01:27:48 pea/ brindle buddie
Thanks time!
Unicorn Academy
01:27:13 D Time/Wildstar
Amazing horse, Brindle!
Aura Show Horses
01:26:21 pea/ brindle buddie
-HEE Click- my best horse so far! See ya 123!
Unicorn Academy
01:26:01 D Time/Wildstar
Good Night, 123!
123 I don't know
01:24:56 123/Screamin Eagle
I'll have to go, but I will be back tomorrow! Good Night!
Aura Show Horses
01:24:44 pea/ brindle buddie
Oh I've done that before! It hurts!
123 I don't know
01:23:48 123/Screamin Eagle
I tried to both, but I ended up spending 50k without any world class ratings.
Aura Show Horses
01:23:13 pea/ brindle buddie
I have bred horses with world class ratings but not a WWW yet...
123 I don't know
01:21:51 123/Screamin Eagle
Brindle

Have you breed a WWW or an horse with an world class rating?
MC Ace
01:20:44 McFossil
Thanks all!
He was definitely a surprise.
Aura Show Horses
01:20:02 pea/ brindle buddie
Cool 123!!! I also work on breeding!
Aura Show Horses
01:19:15 pea/ brindle buddie
Cute colt!!
123 I don't know
01:18:58 123/Screamin Eagle
I'm trying to breed many horses.

I don't have real horses, but I wish I do. I'm also 14 years old and homeschooled.
Lucky
01:18:48 luvky
Oh nice colt!
MC Ace
01:17:46 McFossil
Wowza

-HEE Click-
Aura Show Horses
01:16:59 pea/ brindle buddie
What are you up to? Horse something?
123 I don't know
01:16:01 123/Screamin Eagle
I'm doing great as well.
Aura Show Horses
01:15:28 pea/ brindle buddie
I'm great!(: how are you?
123 I don't know
01:14:48 123/Screamin Eagle
Hi, Brindle! How are you doing?

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

I'm Writing a Thing December 17, 2020 04:30 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#824710
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For those of you who don't know me, hi. I exist. *waves awkwardly*
I wrote a story last summer, submitted it to an anthology, and it got published (I have a link to the google doc containing that short story on my profile page :D)
This year, I wrote something in a free write for AP Literature that I've decided is an idea worth exploring. The free write itself is in my blog somewhere, in case you want to check it out (it's not polished at all)
So I decided- I'm going to write a medium length story about it!
As of this post:
-I haven't exactly settled on the plot. There are a handful of concrete ideas I have picked out, and they have to do with making the story as eerie as possible.
-Characters I am still working on.
-I've got a kind of "prologue" finished, and I would love any thoughts or insight into what I've done so far. Critique is welcome. As are questions.
This is the link to what I've got so far:
(the name is not final and I am open to suggestions)
I'm Writing a Thing December 17, 2020 04:41 PM


Lucky Ranch
 
Posts: 10796
#824713
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O.O I exist too. Omg-
I'm Writing a Thing December 17, 2020 04:53 PM


Savannah Stables
 
Posts: 1471
#824718
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O i exist too
I'm Writing a Thing December 17, 2020 05:43 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#824739
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Hey, Tea! Love the title, already has me thinking "What in the world?"
Awesome job!
I'm Writing a Thing December 17, 2020 09:37 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#824876
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SweetFire Fields said:
Hey, Tea! Love the title, already has me thinking "What in the world?"
Awesome job!


I aspire to inspire confused horror. :D
I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 12:44 PM


Darkside Dreams
 
Posts: 1567
#825237
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Oh my god I LOVE IT.
I don't really have any critiques, you're doing great so far! Honestly for your first draft, get words on paper and worry about grammar and word choice later. Write the story. Write it your way. After that's finished, take a step back and look at it objectively. Get some other people to read it and suggest, read it out loud, and that's when you get the flamethrowers out and burn the thing to pieces before stitching it back together into a final draft.
Tl;dr: write the damn thing and edit it into a real book later.

It looks awesome so far!

I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 12:46 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825238
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Sunshine Jumpers said:
Oh my god I LOVE IT.
I don't really have any critiques, you're doing great so far! Honestly for your first draft, get words on paper and worry about grammar and word choice later. Write the story. Write it your way. After that's finished, take a step back and look at it objectively. Get some other people to read it and suggest, read it out loud, and that's when you get the flamethrowers out and burn the thing to pieces before stitching it back together into a final draft.
Tl;dr: write the damn thing and edit it into a real book later.

It looks awesome so far!



Thank you! :D
I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 12:53 PM


Broadway
 
Posts: 738
#825240
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That was amazing! The word choice is perfect and really gets the story across well! You have to let us know when this is finished because it is something I would love to read!
I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 01:01 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825241
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Birch Wood Barns said:
That was amazing! The word choice is perfect and really gets the story across well! You have to let us know when this is finished because it is something I would love to read!


Aww thank you!
I'm glad you all seem to like my elevator murder weirdness xD
I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:30 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#825374
Give Award

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.


Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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