Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 199   Season: Fall   
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Forecast: Sunny Day with a Full Moon tonight
Forecast:
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Stables Online:  64 
Chatbox
Mythological
06:11:03 Crowley | Krampus
God I'm tired. Body hurts too. T-T
Santana Rising
05:31:24 San
-HEE Click- mean!
Heavenly Skies Farm
04:50:45 Moonglow
Are there any good AA specific clubs that are open to accepting members? Trying to find one that's accepting people is proving to be more difficult than I thought xD
Bioshock Manor
04:22:40 Storm
I really hope March that I show the way I used to. It would greatly help to be doing something productive here to ease my mind
Equile
04:21:24 Tosk's RID
Haven't gotten one this year either... except for one during the capture day I think
Bioshock Manor
04:21:08 Storm
Actually, never a wild one
Bioshock Manor
04:20:44 Storm
I haven't gotten a WWW in years
Moonbird Magic
04:20:10 🛸Divaaa
I still don't know how you are capturing, one of HEEs bigger mysteries
Bioshock Manor
04:19:31 Storm
That's just mean Tosk
At Wit's End
04:19:12 Gosky
This.. is rude.
-HEE Click-
At Wit's End
04:18:28 Gosky
This is rude. 3 captures.. PEW SEW and EWP -_- two with frame.
Bioshock Manor
04:17:33 Storm
It wouldn't be until next year we move unless we win the lottery :(
Moonbird Magic
04:16:56 🛸Divaaa
Well at least it's not next year or the year after, summer isn't that far off
Bioshock Manor
04:14:12 Storm
It really is. And dad is the most useless. It's pathetic. He lives in his truck because he so consumed in his own greed to 'win big'. I'm so glad i got away from him. I finish school in May. Then might go to the police academy, no idea yet. But after this year I'm booking it to Nevada or another state, but need to do research on which one. And Definitely need money. Mom, sis and I are moving, but I really wish it could be now
Moonbird Magic
04:09:07 🛸Divaaa
Fingers crossed you sort yourself out soon and better times are coming
Moonbird Magic
04:08:31 🛸Divaaa
The judgment sometimes is so unnecessary, it hurts more if its from your own family, it's odd , the ones that are supposed to be there are often harshest critics.
Bluegrass Racing
04:08:18 Blue
Dang, grew up handsome
-HEE Click-
Bioshock Manor
04:06:50 Storm
Im going crazy here. I need to start my internship ASAP
Bioshock Manor
04:06:08 Storm
I don't habe any in person friends. Cousins are toxic and don't talk to us. My friend, but super distant cousin near home has no room, plus people would start rumors about us -.- my home is a camper that I keep at his family's barn. 4 hours south of moms
Moongold Magic
04:01:49 🍭 Diva
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Chatbox
Mythological
06:11:03 Crowley | Krampus
God I'm tired. Body hurts too. T-T
Santana Rising
05:31:24 San
-HEE Click- mean!
Heavenly Skies Farm
04:50:45 Moonglow
Are there any good AA specific clubs that are open to accepting members? Trying to find one that's accepting people is proving to be more difficult than I thought xD
Bioshock Manor
04:22:40 Storm
I really hope March that I show the way I used to. It would greatly help to be doing something productive here to ease my mind
Equile
04:21:24 Tosk's RID
Haven't gotten one this year either... except for one during the capture day I think
Bioshock Manor
04:21:08 Storm
Actually, never a wild one
Bioshock Manor
04:20:44 Storm
I haven't gotten a WWW in years
Moonbird Magic
04:20:10 🛸Divaaa
I still don't know how you are capturing, one of HEEs bigger mysteries
Bioshock Manor
04:19:31 Storm
That's just mean Tosk
At Wit's End
04:19:12 Gosky
This.. is rude.
-HEE Click-
At Wit's End
04:18:28 Gosky
This is rude. 3 captures.. PEW SEW and EWP -_- two with frame.
Bioshock Manor
04:17:33 Storm
It wouldn't be until next year we move unless we win the lottery :(
Moonbird Magic
04:16:56 🛸Divaaa
Well at least it's not next year or the year after, summer isn't that far off
Bioshock Manor
04:14:12 Storm
It really is. And dad is the most useless. It's pathetic. He lives in his truck because he so consumed in his own greed to 'win big'. I'm so glad i got away from him. I finish school in May. Then might go to the police academy, no idea yet. But after this year I'm booking it to Nevada or another state, but need to do research on which one. And Definitely need money. Mom, sis and I are moving, but I really wish it could be now
Moonbird Magic
04:09:07 🛸Divaaa
Fingers crossed you sort yourself out soon and better times are coming
Moonbird Magic
04:08:31 🛸Divaaa
The judgment sometimes is so unnecessary, it hurts more if its from your own family, it's odd , the ones that are supposed to be there are often harshest critics.
Bluegrass Racing
04:08:18 Blue
Dang, grew up handsome
-HEE Click-
Bioshock Manor
04:06:50 Storm
Im going crazy here. I need to start my internship ASAP
Bioshock Manor
04:06:08 Storm
I don't habe any in person friends. Cousins are toxic and don't talk to us. My friend, but super distant cousin near home has no room, plus people would start rumors about us -.- my home is a camper that I keep at his family's barn. 4 hours south of moms
Moongold Magic
04:01:49 🍭 Diva
Even friends

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

I'm Writing a Thing December 17, 2020 04:30 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#824710
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For those of you who don't know me, hi. I exist. *waves awkwardly*
I wrote a story last summer, submitted it to an anthology, and it got published (I have a link to the google doc containing that short story on my profile page :D)
This year, I wrote something in a free write for AP Literature that I've decided is an idea worth exploring. The free write itself is in my blog somewhere, in case you want to check it out (it's not polished at all)
So I decided- I'm going to write a medium length story about it!
As of this post:
-I haven't exactly settled on the plot. There are a handful of concrete ideas I have picked out, and they have to do with making the story as eerie as possible.
-Characters I am still working on.
-I've got a kind of "prologue" finished, and I would love any thoughts or insight into what I've done so far. Critique is welcome. As are questions.
This is the link to what I've got so far:
(the name is not final and I am open to suggestions)
I'm Writing a Thing December 17, 2020 04:41 PM


Lucky Ranch
 
Posts: 10801
#824713
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O.O I exist too. Omg-
I'm Writing a Thing December 17, 2020 04:53 PM


Savannah Stables
 
Posts: 1471
#824718
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O i exist too
I'm Writing a Thing December 17, 2020 05:43 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#824739
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Hey, Tea! Love the title, already has me thinking "What in the world?"
Awesome job!
I'm Writing a Thing December 17, 2020 09:37 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#824876
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SweetFire Fields said:
Hey, Tea! Love the title, already has me thinking "What in the world?"
Awesome job!


I aspire to inspire confused horror. :D
I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 12:44 PM


Darkside Dreams
 
Posts: 1568
#825237
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Oh my god I LOVE IT.
I don't really have any critiques, you're doing great so far! Honestly for your first draft, get words on paper and worry about grammar and word choice later. Write the story. Write it your way. After that's finished, take a step back and look at it objectively. Get some other people to read it and suggest, read it out loud, and that's when you get the flamethrowers out and burn the thing to pieces before stitching it back together into a final draft.
Tl;dr: write the damn thing and edit it into a real book later.

It looks awesome so far!

I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 12:46 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825238
Give Award

Sunshine Jumpers said:
Oh my god I LOVE IT.
I don't really have any critiques, you're doing great so far! Honestly for your first draft, get words on paper and worry about grammar and word choice later. Write the story. Write it your way. After that's finished, take a step back and look at it objectively. Get some other people to read it and suggest, read it out loud, and that's when you get the flamethrowers out and burn the thing to pieces before stitching it back together into a final draft.
Tl;dr: write the damn thing and edit it into a real book later.

It looks awesome so far!



Thank you! :D
I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 12:53 PM


Broadway
 
Posts: 738
#825240
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That was amazing! The word choice is perfect and really gets the story across well! You have to let us know when this is finished because it is something I would love to read!
I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 01:01 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825241
Give Award

Birch Wood Barns said:
That was amazing! The word choice is perfect and really gets the story across well! You have to let us know when this is finished because it is something I would love to read!


Aww thank you!
I'm glad you all seem to like my elevator murder weirdness xD
I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:30 PM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#825374
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If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.


Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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