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This is Lovsey She has grown up with me ever since childhood, she has made me the person that I am today. She was a 6 week kitten at a local pet store with her sibling which they were the only two left, even though I was a kid back then, I felt something about her as if someone has lit a match to create a spark of a fire that started and we also got my first rabbit at the same age. Elementary school days as a kid were great, I was happy & outgoing while doing my best in my classes then my vision started to get blurry to where my teacher told both my mom & grandma that I needed an eye doctor and I ended up with glasses, that's when everything started going down hill. I started to get made fun by other kids because of the hair on my arms and legs which was how my insecurities of my body had started but I would just laugh with them to keep the pain away. When I got older, I started going to middle school, thinking that everything was gonna be different but it wasn't. I got made fun of because of my learning disability, constantly body shamed because of how skinny I was to make my self of steam and insecurities worse, and being bullied & made fun of just because I didn't know what gender I liked, I remember coming home to school that I would lie to my mom & grandma about how my day was because I didn't want them to worry. On a Sunday, I lost my rabbit from tumors in her stomach which I finally broke. I started to become very cold & aggressive towards people while pushing anyone away in order to keep myself isolated from the world, I was slowly devoured by Depression while disturbing thoughts ran through my head then I had to have a cast on my right leg twice to stretch a bone in order to correct my spine but I was kicked in the back of the leg, falling hard on concrete when I was just walking to class with one of my guy friends. I started to shake while tears ran down my face, I could hear everyone laughing at me but my friend helped me back up. I would make friends with the wrong crowd and I was "friends" with this wrong girl that used me for my money which I'm not rich by any means then on christmas break, my aunt saw the signs and told me that I'm diagnosed with a panic disorder which is a type of Anxiety of panic attacks . Then High school came around, I was in a dark place but I was afraid to tell anyone because of my trust issues that have developed along with me because of the fears of being used again. My two closest friends stopped me twice from trying to harm myself while going through an emotional breakdown but when I got home, everything changed. I was sitting on the porch one day, minding my own buisness while petting lovsey before I started to shake, I was starting to have a panic attack but she crawled into my lap as she pressed herself against me to put pressure on my chest & stomach while loudly purring |
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She got me out of my dark place not once but twice and she has helped me through my panic attacks so many times, she would constantly check up on me to see if I'm truely ok. As much I could fake a smile with my family & friends, Lovsey or any other animal in the family could see right through it. When I was sleeping over at my cousin's house, her large german shepherd would consistently follow me where ever I went in the house and I would get laid on by the cats when I was simply watching stufd on tv, I remember sitting on the couch before the shaking began, feeling like I couldn't breath while I was badly hyperventilating as my panic attack was starting. My cousin's German Shepherd came quickly around the couch and placed his big head on me with gentle pressure against my stomach, I started hugging him while burying my face into his fur, he stayed there with me until it finally passed. I'm greatful for having Lovsey in my life because she's the best that has ever came into my life and I love her to bits with all my heart, my aunt was the first to notice that I was a lot calmer around animals like dogs, cats, horses, etc. She saw how happy I was around them and I could comfortably say that my cat was my first best friend that was meant to be in my life and she has made me the person that I am today along with the other animals that have came into my life also and I'm honestly happy to have Lovsey in my life since she's the best that has a ever happened to me and I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world |
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Overcast and Calm
