Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 198   Season: Spring   
$: 0
Forecast: Afternoon Storms, then Clearing
Forecast:
Sat 02:48am  
Stables Online:  67 
Chatbox
Halo
02:29:12 
-HEE Click-
Seems to be the seal brown day today
SUMMER OF PEARLS
02:16:58 
ooohhh that one is beautiful
Nightingales Ridge
02:03:57 Issy
Just free capturing for a quest...such a pretty colouring! Alas cheerio bud
Black Dragon Stable
01:30:06 BDS / Black / Stormy
Oops. Buying 3 WWW studs apparently gave my accountant a heart attack.
Nightingales Ridge
01:26:34 Issy
I love buttermilks! Very pretty Crimson
MC Ace
12:39:08 McFossil
Crimson you were just talking about this kind of a thing too. Thank you and thank you.
ArcticLights
12:38:47 Ceci / (Call me) AL
I like her Crimson ,but I am big fan of buttermilks
ArcticLights
12:37:55 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Starshine, the 15th
CrimsonValleyEstate
12:37:43 Crimson
She's stunning MC Ace
MC Ace
12:36:59 McFossil
Oh my lord. I just cannot. Dam has made me 2 WWW. I quit

-HEE Click-

I bred to Stormrage twice for an EEE and EEP. I have strong feelings atm.
Lucky Star Meadow
12:36:50 Starshine
When is capture day
CrimsonValleyEstate
12:36:40 Crimson
-HEE Click-
What do we think, should I keep the buttermilk or reroll?
Asfamoth
12:28:26 Asfa
I need it to be capture day, my trigger finger is itching so bad.
MC Ace
12:27:49 McFossil
It's called Together. Had to find the name. Dad was 1/2 when I walked in after feeding the horses.
ArcticLights
12:26:41 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Which movie MC Ace?
MC Ace
12:26:11 McFossil
Whhhhaaa this movie is psycho... like who thought of this brated bs
CrimsonValleyEstate
12:25:43 Crimson
Its so frustrating but at the same time I'm definitely not complaining haha
Charmed Acres
12:25:22 Charm/Charmie
-HEE Click-

Not a bad haul of wilds tonight.
MC Ace
12:23:38 McFossil
It's like it makes up for the flop. Best laid plans amiright?

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Halo
02:29:12 
-HEE Click-
Seems to be the seal brown day today
SUMMER OF PEARLS
02:16:58 
ooohhh that one is beautiful
Nightingales Ridge
02:03:57 Issy
Just free capturing for a quest...such a pretty colouring! Alas cheerio bud
Black Dragon Stable
01:30:06 BDS / Black / Stormy
Oops. Buying 3 WWW studs apparently gave my accountant a heart attack.
Nightingales Ridge
01:26:34 Issy
I love buttermilks! Very pretty Crimson
MC Ace
12:39:08 McFossil
Crimson you were just talking about this kind of a thing too. Thank you and thank you.
ArcticLights
12:38:47 Ceci / (Call me) AL
I like her Crimson ,but I am big fan of buttermilks
ArcticLights
12:37:55 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Starshine, the 15th
CrimsonValleyEstate
12:37:43 Crimson
She's stunning MC Ace
MC Ace
12:36:59 McFossil
Oh my lord. I just cannot. Dam has made me 2 WWW. I quit

-HEE Click-

I bred to Stormrage twice for an EEE and EEP. I have strong feelings atm.
Lucky Star Meadow
12:36:50 Starshine
When is capture day
CrimsonValleyEstate
12:36:40 Crimson
-HEE Click-
What do we think, should I keep the buttermilk or reroll?
Asfamoth
12:28:26 Asfa
I need it to be capture day, my trigger finger is itching so bad.
MC Ace
12:27:49 McFossil
It's called Together. Had to find the name. Dad was 1/2 when I walked in after feeding the horses.
ArcticLights
12:26:41 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Which movie MC Ace?
MC Ace
12:26:11 McFossil
Whhhhaaa this movie is psycho... like who thought of this brated bs
CrimsonValleyEstate
12:25:43 Crimson
Its so frustrating but at the same time I'm definitely not complaining haha
Charmed Acres
12:25:22 Charm/Charmie
-HEE Click-

Not a bad haul of wilds tonight.
MC Ace
12:23:38 McFossil
It's like it makes up for the flop. Best laid plans amiright?

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:39 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825382
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Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.



The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.
And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD
Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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