Horse Eden : I'm Writing a Thing

Year: 196 Season: Fall

$: 0

Forecast:

Breezy and Pleasant

Forecast:

Sat 01:28am

Stables Online: 61

QualitySH

01:07:25

-HEE Click- tons of EEE+ mares and stallions for sale. Want a lower price DM to negotiate. Clearing them out so will consider offers or a bulk discount

Boulder Creek

11:11:56

Time to send in your Entries for the
Pretty Pony Pageant
November Show:

- Eventing
- Vaulting
- Foxhunting
- Snazzy Solids
~ Awareness Ride (Special!)
~ Turkey Trot

Thousands Awarded - Everyone Wins - Free to Enter

-HEE Click-

Haylo

11:06:06 elisa ✦

Tons of tack for sale (saddles, bridles, pads, polos, and much more).
All priced cheaper than if bought new. Plus, no cleaning needed... Everything is in perfect shape!

RFS Thoroughbreds

10:57:55 TB'S / T3 Artist

Art Auction 1:
No Bids
-HEE Click-
Art Auction 2:
No Bids
-HEE Click-

The Undercity

10:51:59 Dory

one premade up!
-HEE Click-

Aerys

10:28:54 Aerys

taking offers on ewe colt -HEE Click-

Fairytale Paints

10:28:22 T1 Artist 🎨

Art Auction
-HEE Click-

Asfamoth

10:27:16 Asfa

-HEE Click-
1 month upgrades, always available.

Port Royal Equines

10:22:39 Elfie

-HEE Click-

Speer Ranch

10:08:55 Cowgirl / Imp

Breeding Item Auction!
-HEE Click-
Hatchable Horse Adopts!
-HEE Click-
Chibi Horse Adopts!
Lots available!
-HEE Click-
Interactive Horse Adopts - Premades Available!
-HEE Click-

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.

Rules Hide
You are in: Sales
View Main Chat

Embark on a Quest.

QualitySH

01:07:25

-HEE Click- tons of EEE+ mares and stallions for sale. Want a lower price DM to negotiate. Clearing them out so will consider offers or a bulk discount

Boulder Creek

11:11:56

Haylo

11:06:06 elisa ✦

Tons of tack for sale (saddles, bridles, pads, polos, and much more).
All priced cheaper than if bought new. Plus, no cleaning needed... Everything is in perfect shape!

RFS Thoroughbreds

10:57:55 TB'S / T3 Artist

Art Auction 1:
No Bids
-HEE Click-
Art Auction 2:
No Bids
-HEE Click-

The Undercity

10:51:59 Dory

one premade up!
-HEE Click-

Aerys

10:28:54 Aerys

taking offers on ewe colt -HEE Click-

Fairytale Paints

10:28:22 T1 Artist 🎨

Art Auction
-HEE Click-

Asfamoth

10:27:16 Asfa

-HEE Click-
1 month upgrades, always available.

Port Royal Equines

10:22:39 Elfie

-HEE Click-

Speer Ranch

10:08:55 Cowgirl / Imp

Breeding Item Auction!
-HEE Click-
Hatchable Horse Adopts!
-HEE Click-
Chibi Horse Adopts!
Lots available!
-HEE Click-
Interactive Horse Adopts - Premades Available!
-HEE Click-

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.

Refresh

Forums

→ Horse Eden is a fun game! Sign Up Now! ←

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook

1 2

I'm Writing a Thing

December 18, 2020 04:39 PM

TenaciTea

Posts: 1929
#825382
Give Award

Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.

The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.

And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD

Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook

1 2

Refresh