Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 202   Season: Spring   
$: 0
Forecast: Showers Off and On
Forecast:
Mon 04:50am  
Stables Online:  52 
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Motonemi
04:49:23 AL, mum to Nemi
-HEE Click-

I like this w11
Red Hill Hollow
04:38:25 Red, Hollow
Ahhh thank you!
Alpine Acres
04:37:04 Lily
The shadowing is perfect :D
Red Hill Hollow
04:35:20 Red, Hollow
-Click-
How’s this?
Alpine Acres
04:33:49 Lily
I don't doubt it ^^
Red Hill Hollow
04:33:03 Red, Hollow
Ahh you’re too sweet! I’m definitely a little far off from T1 but hopefully one day <3
Alpine Acres
04:31:59 Lily
Of course! And you've definitely improved so much, especially with your blending. I smell a new T1 artist in the making ;)
Red Hill Hollow
04:29:26 Red, Hollow
I thought it looked weird, I’ll give that a go! Thank you :)
And ahhh tysm! <3 I feel like I’ve made some really big improvements in my last couple of pieces
Alpine Acres
04:27:31 Lily
I would just make the back leg slightly lighter/more visible. It works that it's in shadow but it's currently quite dark so almost looks like it's separate from the horse.
Your art style is magical *-*
Red Hill Hollow
04:25:25 Red, Hollow
Thanks so much and yes please :)
Alpine Acres
04:25:17 Lily
ooh wild was au week 4 :D
-HEE Click-
Alpine Acres
04:19:09 Lily
Red that's absolutely beautiful! Can I offer a tiny little improvement that I noticed ;)
Red Hill Hollow
04:13:08 Red, Hollow
-Click-
Hmmmm
Angel Warmblood Stud
04:00:29 Angel
He´s cute
Black Meadow Estate
03:53:47 Meadow
-HEE Click-
Excited and nervous for his week 7
Black Meadow Estate
03:53:09 Meadow
Best luck with him
Red Hill Hollow
03:52:24 Red, Hollow
All my mare have consistently been in the top 50 on the SHLB so praying he’ll follow
Valhalla Acreage
03:51:17 Eivor/ Rumi
But all my WWW have never been svened
Valhalla Acreage
03:51:00 Eivor/ Rumi
If you do use another sven you could use the sex svens for a filly
Red Hill Hollow
03:49:53 Red, Hollow
His whole line of mares have all gone up in both wk 4 and wk 8, his dam was the first one to go up in wk 7 but none of them have ever been svened so finger crossed he does ok

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Motonemi
04:49:23 AL, mum to Nemi
-HEE Click-

I like this w11
Red Hill Hollow
04:38:25 Red, Hollow
Ahhh thank you!
Alpine Acres
04:37:04 Lily
The shadowing is perfect :D
Red Hill Hollow
04:35:20 Red, Hollow
-Click-
How’s this?
Alpine Acres
04:33:49 Lily
I don't doubt it ^^
Red Hill Hollow
04:33:03 Red, Hollow
Ahh you’re too sweet! I’m definitely a little far off from T1 but hopefully one day <3
Alpine Acres
04:31:59 Lily
Of course! And you've definitely improved so much, especially with your blending. I smell a new T1 artist in the making ;)
Red Hill Hollow
04:29:26 Red, Hollow
I thought it looked weird, I’ll give that a go! Thank you :)
And ahhh tysm! <3 I feel like I’ve made some really big improvements in my last couple of pieces
Alpine Acres
04:27:31 Lily
I would just make the back leg slightly lighter/more visible. It works that it's in shadow but it's currently quite dark so almost looks like it's separate from the horse.
Your art style is magical *-*
Red Hill Hollow
04:25:25 Red, Hollow
Thanks so much and yes please :)
Alpine Acres
04:25:17 Lily
ooh wild was au week 4 :D
-HEE Click-
Alpine Acres
04:19:09 Lily
Red that's absolutely beautiful! Can I offer a tiny little improvement that I noticed ;)
Red Hill Hollow
04:13:08 Red, Hollow
-Click-
Hmmmm
Angel Warmblood Stud
04:00:29 Angel
He´s cute
Black Meadow Estate
03:53:47 Meadow
-HEE Click-
Excited and nervous for his week 7
Black Meadow Estate
03:53:09 Meadow
Best luck with him
Red Hill Hollow
03:52:24 Red, Hollow
All my mare have consistently been in the top 50 on the SHLB so praying he’ll follow
Valhalla Acreage
03:51:17 Eivor/ Rumi
But all my WWW have never been svened
Valhalla Acreage
03:51:00 Eivor/ Rumi
If you do use another sven you could use the sex svens for a filly
Red Hill Hollow
03:49:53 Red, Hollow
His whole line of mares have all gone up in both wk 4 and wk 8, his dam was the first one to go up in wk 7 but none of them have ever been svened so finger crossed he does ok

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:39 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825382
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Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.



The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.
And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD
Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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