Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 198   Season: Spring   
$: 0
Forecast: Nighttime Thunderstorms with Hail
Forecast:
Wed 03:19pm  
Stables Online:  144 
Chatbox
BlackRose
03:18:53 Stella
Oh! My bad
BlackRose
03:18:46 Stella
I’m confused?
Rubygem-Chenya
03:18:46 Cheshire
I have 90k in my saving and I only needed 10k more
Rubygem-Chenya
03:18:29 Cheshire
No
BlackRose
03:18:20 Stella
Pastures are 10k now???
Rubygem-Chenya
03:17:56 Cheshire
Ah forget it I'm getting the pasture I'll easily get 10k more pretty quick
BlackRose
03:17:52 Stella
Do quests automatically change themselves if you leave them for weeks?
Rubygem-Chenya
03:16:44 Cheshire
I'm going to be rich on WP
Aura Show Horses
03:15:06 Pea/Aura
Me too Thanks
It is very hard
He is having emergency stuff being done
I very scared
The Joker
03:14:05 Ari <3
Sweet Valley
Bottom of the pasture there is an option to if you have water
Rubygem-Chenya
03:13:48 Cheshire
Pea
Oh no hope he gets better ):
Aura Show Horses
03:13:21 Pea/Aura
Cheshire
Absolutely Terrible 😭
Just heard my grandpa is in the hospital with a stomach ulcer and in terrible condition
Rubygem-Chenya
03:12:40 Cheshire
I'm wondering if I should just take my 10k ebs that I'm saving for art that I haven't gotten and I've been waiting since June of last year and just use it to get a pasture
The Old Gods
03:11:41 Void Malign
That's how I'm feeling since I closed on the trailer on Monday
Rubygem-Chenya
03:11:27 Cheshire
Good you Pea?
Pegasus Lane
03:10:04 Peggy (or) Peg
I officially have a place to stay when I move. It's starting to feel real! 😳
Unclouded Day
03:09:48 Sweet Valley Side Ac
How do you water a pasture?
Aura Show Horses
03:08:48 Pea/Aura
Hey Cheshire!
How are you?
Rubygem-Chenya
03:08:08 Cheshire
Hi pea
Rubygem-Chenya
03:07:57 Cheshire
-HEE Click-
Omg nicknaming my horses and describing it took forever

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BlackRose
03:18:53 Stella
Oh! My bad
BlackRose
03:18:46 Stella
I’m confused?
Rubygem-Chenya
03:18:46 Cheshire
I have 90k in my saving and I only needed 10k more
Rubygem-Chenya
03:18:29 Cheshire
No
BlackRose
03:18:20 Stella
Pastures are 10k now???
Rubygem-Chenya
03:17:56 Cheshire
Ah forget it I'm getting the pasture I'll easily get 10k more pretty quick
BlackRose
03:17:52 Stella
Do quests automatically change themselves if you leave them for weeks?
Rubygem-Chenya
03:16:44 Cheshire
I'm going to be rich on WP
Aura Show Horses
03:15:06 Pea/Aura
Me too Thanks
It is very hard
He is having emergency stuff being done
I very scared
The Joker
03:14:05 Ari <3
Sweet Valley
Bottom of the pasture there is an option to if you have water
Rubygem-Chenya
03:13:48 Cheshire
Pea
Oh no hope he gets better ):
Aura Show Horses
03:13:21 Pea/Aura
Cheshire
Absolutely Terrible 😭
Just heard my grandpa is in the hospital with a stomach ulcer and in terrible condition
Rubygem-Chenya
03:12:40 Cheshire
I'm wondering if I should just take my 10k ebs that I'm saving for art that I haven't gotten and I've been waiting since June of last year and just use it to get a pasture
The Old Gods
03:11:41 Void Malign
That's how I'm feeling since I closed on the trailer on Monday
Rubygem-Chenya
03:11:27 Cheshire
Good you Pea?
Pegasus Lane
03:10:04 Peggy (or) Peg
I officially have a place to stay when I move. It's starting to feel real! 😳
Unclouded Day
03:09:48 Sweet Valley Side Ac
How do you water a pasture?
Aura Show Horses
03:08:48 Pea/Aura
Hey Cheshire!
How are you?
Rubygem-Chenya
03:08:08 Cheshire
Hi pea
Rubygem-Chenya
03:07:57 Cheshire
-HEE Click-
Omg nicknaming my horses and describing it took forever

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:39 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825382
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Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.



The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.
And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD
Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

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