Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Fall   
$: 0
Forecast: Heavy Downpours, Flood Warning
Forecast:
Sun 01:13pm  
Stables Online:  121 
Chatbox
Ranch Lands Training
12:42:46 Lilly/PON Addict
-HEE Click- What the f? His crappy training is a first
Fluffy's Cosy Home
12:38:43 Fluffy
I have:
*WWW/WW Straws
*Studs
*Items in my store
*Decors
*Sale horses
-HEE Click-
Country Stables
12:33:54 CS
Tons of stuff for sale in my shop for 50% off store price!

-HEE Click-
Manson Stables
12:23:54 MS
Tons of horses for sale! I need them all gone!

-HEE Click-
Ranch Lands Training
12:21:59 Lilly/PON Addict
WAS Smokey Grullo (DD) PON Stallion
10k - will be FR by tomorrow
-HEE Click-
Port Royal Equines
11:59:55 Elfie
-HEE Click-
YHH at auction. 3 days remaining! Very few bids.

-HEE Click-
EEE broods for dirt cheap! W producers included.
KPH Equestrian
11:50:44 Jake From State Farm
-HEE Click-
Dressage medallion for sale!
Aura Show Horses
10:56:24 pea/ brindle buddie
-HEE Click- Cheap Brindles Peacock And rares plus good ratings
Golden Gallop Farm
10:48:04 
-HEE Click-

All horses in Sales & Sales 2 are for sale, open to offers even though it doesn't say, just pm what your offer is and specify horse
Vecchia Modo
10:22:17 Vecc - TBs
Giving away hay bales
Limit of 1,000 per stable.
pm me with your request.

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.



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Horse Eden Eventing Game
Chatbox
Ranch Lands Training
12:42:46 Lilly/PON Addict
-HEE Click- What the f? His crappy training is a first
Fluffy's Cosy Home
12:38:43 Fluffy
I have:
*WWW/WW Straws
*Studs
*Items in my store
*Decors
*Sale horses
-HEE Click-
Country Stables
12:33:54 CS
Tons of stuff for sale in my shop for 50% off store price!

-HEE Click-
Manson Stables
12:23:54 MS
Tons of horses for sale! I need them all gone!

-HEE Click-
Ranch Lands Training
12:21:59 Lilly/PON Addict
WAS Smokey Grullo (DD) PON Stallion
10k - will be FR by tomorrow
-HEE Click-
Port Royal Equines
11:59:55 Elfie
-HEE Click-
YHH at auction. 3 days remaining! Very few bids.

-HEE Click-
EEE broods for dirt cheap! W producers included.
KPH Equestrian
11:50:44 Jake From State Farm
-HEE Click-
Dressage medallion for sale!
Aura Show Horses
10:56:24 pea/ brindle buddie
-HEE Click- Cheap Brindles Peacock And rares plus good ratings
Golden Gallop Farm
10:48:04 
-HEE Click-

All horses in Sales & Sales 2 are for sale, open to offers even though it doesn't say, just pm what your offer is and specify horse
Vecchia Modo
10:22:17 Vecc - TBs
Giving away hay bales
Limit of 1,000 per stable.
pm me with your request.

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:39 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825382
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Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.



The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.
And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD
Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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