Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Winter   
$: 0
Forecast: Bright Sunshine with a few High Clouds
Forecast:
Tue 07:30pm  
Stables Online:  113 
Chatbox
Crescent Estate
07:26:33 River / Crescent
I'm praying for an apricot
-HEE Click-
ShiningStar Stables
07:24:53 Chey / Star
Aris
Okay! One of those is a lot more promising than the other xD
#1
-HEE Click-
×
-HEE Click-
Crescent Estate
07:24:38 River / Crescent
Aris
Cutee, gonna shrink that down to a one word name so he fits with the rest in my stable <3
Tenebris Hollow
07:23:24 Aris/Quinn
River
On the dollar
Crescent Estate
07:22:53 River / Crescent
Name ideas? -HEE Click-
Tenebris Hollow
07:22:51 Aris/Quinn
23 and 7
ShiningStar Stables
07:22:39 Chey / Star
I need someone to pick two numbers from 1-36
Sunset River Arabian
07:20:27 Athena - AAs
And she gets all mine lol
Crescent Estate
07:17:29 River / Crescent
Jeri
Lmao xD
Jericho Stables
07:16:46 
River, -Click-
Angels angels
07:12:11 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I don't lol I buy them
River
07:06:07 ♡ River
Angel
How do you breed so many brindles 😭🙏🏻
Angels angels
07:05:23 [1k+ brindles] Angel
That is adorable lol
Cozmic Elite
07:04:59 
Im picturing a glass horse with a pink bow tied around the neck which is really cute actually
Angels angels
07:00:00 [1k+ brindles] Angel
When are we getting sexed glasses lol
I hate having to choose risking getting a colt to use a glass
Angels angels
06:56:15 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I get black TBs more than any other color lol
Two Trees Stables
06:55:57 Willow ~ TB Breeder
I get so many black TBs on this account
Tenebris Hollow
06:55:36 Aris/Quinn
I get the most black outta Wb
Two Trees Stables
06:55:32 Willow ~ TB Breeder
Higher chances with those breeds

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Crescent Estate
07:26:33 River / Crescent
I'm praying for an apricot
-HEE Click-
ShiningStar Stables
07:24:53 Chey / Star
Aris
Okay! One of those is a lot more promising than the other xD
#1
-HEE Click-
×
-HEE Click-
Crescent Estate
07:24:38 River / Crescent
Aris
Cutee, gonna shrink that down to a one word name so he fits with the rest in my stable <3
Tenebris Hollow
07:23:24 Aris/Quinn
River
On the dollar
Crescent Estate
07:22:53 River / Crescent
Name ideas? -HEE Click-
Tenebris Hollow
07:22:51 Aris/Quinn
23 and 7
ShiningStar Stables
07:22:39 Chey / Star
I need someone to pick two numbers from 1-36
Sunset River Arabian
07:20:27 Athena - AAs
And she gets all mine lol
Crescent Estate
07:17:29 River / Crescent
Jeri
Lmao xD
Jericho Stables
07:16:46 
River, -Click-
Angels angels
07:12:11 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I don't lol I buy them
River
07:06:07 ♡ River
Angel
How do you breed so many brindles 😭🙏🏻
Angels angels
07:05:23 [1k+ brindles] Angel
That is adorable lol
Cozmic Elite
07:04:59 
Im picturing a glass horse with a pink bow tied around the neck which is really cute actually
Angels angels
07:00:00 [1k+ brindles] Angel
When are we getting sexed glasses lol
I hate having to choose risking getting a colt to use a glass
Angels angels
06:56:15 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I get black TBs more than any other color lol
Two Trees Stables
06:55:57 Willow ~ TB Breeder
I get so many black TBs on this account
Tenebris Hollow
06:55:36 Aris/Quinn
I get the most black outta Wb
Two Trees Stables
06:55:32 Willow ~ TB Breeder
Higher chances with those breeds

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:39 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825382
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Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.



The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.
And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD
Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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