Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Summer   
$: 0
Forecast: Evening Thunderstorms, Hail Possible
Forecast:
Thu 10:56am  
Stables Online:  155   Go Raid
Chatbox
Morningstar Training
10:55:46 Kay <3
-HEE Click-
It looks like shes wearing eyeliner lol very pretty mare
Marvel Farms
10:53:36 Hails
-HEE Click-

This boy is my “pretty privilege”
SandWitch Arabians
10:51:41 Witchypoo
I normally don't care much for patterns, but I do like a pretty Manchado
-HEE Click-
Willow Grove
10:49:40 Stalker of Chat
Hails
Thats the only reason I still have that chimera lol
Hence her name "Pretty Privilege"
Angels angels
10:49:02 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I should study.. but I don't want to
Triple E
10:48:55 Campbell
-HEE Click-

But I really need a good match for her next year!
Triple E
10:47:48 Campbell
-HEE Click-

I am 100% repeating this cross forever lol
God is Mighty Stable
10:46:12 Willow: KNN & X
Angel
:P
God is Mighty Stable
10:46:03 Willow: KNN & X
Willow
I love me a chimera
Angels angels
10:45:59 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I already finished matching lol
Campbell Equestrian
10:45:44 Hails
-HEE Click-

I genuinely have no use for you, but you’re too pretty to FR
Lunalovegood
10:45:35 Loony/Loony Tune
*glacier
Lunalovegood
10:45:21 Loony/Loony Tune
there is an very cheap shop open at the minute angel :) try savagemare's :)
Glacier Bay Cove
10:44:14 Glacier Kittens
Wishing I had a premium upgrade, so that I could rate more horses
Icewar Isles
10:43:51 Ice
I'm excited but very nervous for this match because it's a very risky KNN.. I'm much more excited about other people's matches to that boy that I am for my own 🤣
-HEE Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
10:43:06 Glacier Kittens
Consider her stolen, Willow. She is so beautiful
Willow Grove
10:42:03 Stalker of Chat
I keep forgetting about this pretty little thing
-HEE Click-
God is Mighty Stable
10:41:46 Willow: KNN & X
Time to start working on matches
GirGantuan
10:39:57 Key
please please please train well -HEE Click-
Angels angels
10:39:15 [1k+ brindles] Angel
oooo

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Chatbox
Morningstar Training
10:55:46 Kay <3
-HEE Click-
It looks like shes wearing eyeliner lol very pretty mare
Marvel Farms
10:53:36 Hails
-HEE Click-

This boy is my “pretty privilege”
SandWitch Arabians
10:51:41 Witchypoo
I normally don't care much for patterns, but I do like a pretty Manchado
-HEE Click-
Willow Grove
10:49:40 Stalker of Chat
Hails
Thats the only reason I still have that chimera lol
Hence her name "Pretty Privilege"
Angels angels
10:49:02 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I should study.. but I don't want to
Triple E
10:48:55 Campbell
-HEE Click-

But I really need a good match for her next year!
Triple E
10:47:48 Campbell
-HEE Click-

I am 100% repeating this cross forever lol
God is Mighty Stable
10:46:12 Willow: KNN & X
Angel
:P
God is Mighty Stable
10:46:03 Willow: KNN & X
Willow
I love me a chimera
Angels angels
10:45:59 [1k+ brindles] Angel
I already finished matching lol
Campbell Equestrian
10:45:44 Hails
-HEE Click-

I genuinely have no use for you, but you’re too pretty to FR
Lunalovegood
10:45:35 Loony/Loony Tune
*glacier
Lunalovegood
10:45:21 Loony/Loony Tune
there is an very cheap shop open at the minute angel :) try savagemare's :)
Glacier Bay Cove
10:44:14 Glacier Kittens
Wishing I had a premium upgrade, so that I could rate more horses
Icewar Isles
10:43:51 Ice
I'm excited but very nervous for this match because it's a very risky KNN.. I'm much more excited about other people's matches to that boy that I am for my own 🤣
-HEE Click-
Glacier Bay Cove
10:43:06 Glacier Kittens
Consider her stolen, Willow. She is so beautiful
Willow Grove
10:42:03 Stalker of Chat
I keep forgetting about this pretty little thing
-HEE Click-
God is Mighty Stable
10:41:46 Willow: KNN & X
Time to start working on matches
GirGantuan
10:39:57 Key
please please please train well -HEE Click-
Angels angels
10:39:15 [1k+ brindles] Angel
oooo

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:39 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825382
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Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.



The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.
And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD
Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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