Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Winter   
$: 0
Forecast: Bright Sunshine with a few High Clouds
Forecast:
Tue 08:18am  
Stables Online:  94   Go Raid
Chatbox
The Old Gods
08:17:12 Void Malign
yesterday, they showed up, took down some limbs and downed a few trees. I'm sad to see the big ass pine tree down, but it was too much of a hazard.
Sunfeather Stables
08:16:56 SF
Nice one, Ash!
Ashcroft Park Stud
08:16:13 Ash
Min look what happened this morning - of course she is A bravery though: -HEE Click-
The Old Gods
08:16:11 Void Malign
this is day 2 of the job lol
Bioshock Manor
08:15:38 Storm
Early. Guess it takes a while
The Old Gods
08:15:23 Void Malign
jeeze. the guys that are knocking out all the trees in the driveway are already here
Bioshock Manor
08:14:43 Storm
Oh yes.
The Old Gods
08:13:29 Void Malign
I don't know what we're setting on fire, but I'm here for it
Sunfeather Stables
07:57:56 SF
Good morning all
Minerva
07:57:41 Min
See- I am genius
Angels angels
07:56:09 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Ooo I like that idea lets do that
Minerva
07:54:59 Min
Have you considered just setting everything on fire?
Angels angels
07:48:40 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Awe dang that sucks then
Jericho Stables
07:46:51 
That would mess with my metrics though D:
Angels angels
07:46:30 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Jeri
Maybe just don't show up to it? Lol
Angels angels
07:46:16 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Van
Well you can have color or ratings. You have to pick one xD
Wild Oakley Ranch
07:46:13 Cat
where can you find your adornments (the backgrounds)?
ArcticLights
07:45:20 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Some mares are real divas
Vancouver
07:45:01 Ana / Van
The baby did of course dodge the tobi from both lol
Jericho Stables
07:44:51 
Really bugs me when I keep reaching out to my manager and she doesn't help. I've been trying to get something removed from my schedule for over a week and a half. Now it is in about an hour and still on my schedule.

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The Old Gods
08:17:12 Void Malign
yesterday, they showed up, took down some limbs and downed a few trees. I'm sad to see the big ass pine tree down, but it was too much of a hazard.
Sunfeather Stables
08:16:56 SF
Nice one, Ash!
Ashcroft Park Stud
08:16:13 Ash
Min look what happened this morning - of course she is A bravery though: -HEE Click-
The Old Gods
08:16:11 Void Malign
this is day 2 of the job lol
Bioshock Manor
08:15:38 Storm
Early. Guess it takes a while
The Old Gods
08:15:23 Void Malign
jeeze. the guys that are knocking out all the trees in the driveway are already here
Bioshock Manor
08:14:43 Storm
Oh yes.
The Old Gods
08:13:29 Void Malign
I don't know what we're setting on fire, but I'm here for it
Sunfeather Stables
07:57:56 SF
Good morning all
Minerva
07:57:41 Min
See- I am genius
Angels angels
07:56:09 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Ooo I like that idea lets do that
Minerva
07:54:59 Min
Have you considered just setting everything on fire?
Angels angels
07:48:40 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Awe dang that sucks then
Jericho Stables
07:46:51 
That would mess with my metrics though D:
Angels angels
07:46:30 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Jeri
Maybe just don't show up to it? Lol
Angels angels
07:46:16 [1k+ brindles] Angel
Van
Well you can have color or ratings. You have to pick one xD
Wild Oakley Ranch
07:46:13 Cat
where can you find your adornments (the backgrounds)?
ArcticLights
07:45:20 Ceci / (Call me) AL
Some mares are real divas
Vancouver
07:45:01 Ana / Van
The baby did of course dodge the tobi from both lol
Jericho Stables
07:44:51 
Really bugs me when I keep reaching out to my manager and she doesn't help. I've been trying to get something removed from my schedule for over a week and a half. Now it is in about an hour and still on my schedule.

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:39 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825382
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Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.



The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.
And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD
Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
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