Horse Eden : I'm Writing a Thing

Echo Creek

12:18:41 Echo | River

I'm so happy about this girl, shiny! -HEE Click-

Westeros Livery

11:34:58 Khaleesi

i was just using a bunch of free captures, sad about his rating, hope his bravery is good though

Looking Glass Stable

11:31:32 IA Glass 👋

So cute Khaleesi ♡

Westeros Livery

11:30:00 Khaleesi

-HEE Click-

wild chimera oh sweet baby

Lucky Ranch

11:27:37 luhckeigh

a lot of nitpicky little things!
hip control, lead departures, did some figure 8's and counter canter and a lot of regular walk to extended walk transitions
he also ran around like a headless chicken first in the roundpen lol but its been like a month since he got to do that so i guess it was time for that

Lucky Ranch

11:25:20 luhckeigh

hi wolf!!

Boulder Creek

11:22:08

What did you work on?

Wolf Dancer

11:21:06 Wolf Burger (Leg)

Lucky!

Lucky Ranch

11:11:28 luhckeigh

hummer
he got worked good today! he was a happy lil guy though

BlackRose

11:10:29 Stella

Ohhhh!!! It’s exciting

The Joker

11:10:13 Ari <3

Stella
No, we draw numbers for the bonus ones :)

Greenheart Stables

11:09:24 Gren|Grenlin|Snek

@Bird
I don't know, shes the only one that ever aware its feeding day 😭, I fear for my hand every time

BlackRose

11:08:41 Stella

Does the winner pick from the list what they want?

Hummingbird Meadows

11:07:23 Bird

@Lucky, he's a sweaty boy!

Lucky Ranch

11:06:55 luhckeigh

cutie
-Click-

The Joker

11:05:14 Ari <3

Pssst, bonus prize list has been published 👀 take a sneak peek here
-HEE Click-

Hummingbird Meadows

11:02:38 Bird

@Green, that seems to be a common occurrence among snakes. XD

Greenheart Stables

10:57:45 Gren|Grenlin|Snek

@Bird
Yeah my other two are absolutely angels if you don't count the monster Aphrodite becomes when she sees a rat 😆

Hummingbird Meadows

10:55:46 Bird

@Green, oof, yeah that doesn't sound fun.

Greenheart Stables

10:54:28 Gren|Grenlin|Snek

@Bird
No i wish lol, Zazi despite everything ive tried is still headshy and easily spooked on his best days and nippy on his worst. Athena is just straight up up unpredictable too the point the only way I can grab her is by snake hook because otherwise its defensive strikings on her worst days, her best is mild hissing. Shes been to the vet and its been the same, shes just a cunt with a expensive bill attached afterwards

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Echo Creek

12:18:41 Echo | River

I'm so happy about this girl, shiny! -HEE Click-

Westeros Livery

11:34:58 Khaleesi

i was just using a bunch of free captures, sad about his rating, hope his bravery is good though

Looking Glass Stable

11:31:32 IA Glass 👋

So cute Khaleesi ♡

Westeros Livery

11:30:00 Khaleesi

-HEE Click-

wild chimera oh sweet baby

Lucky Ranch

11:27:37 luhckeigh

Lucky Ranch

11:25:20 luhckeigh

hi wolf!!

Boulder Creek

11:22:08

What did you work on?

Wolf Dancer

11:21:06 Wolf Burger (Leg)

Lucky!

Lucky Ranch

11:11:28 luhckeigh

hummer
he got worked good today! he was a happy lil guy though

BlackRose

11:10:29 Stella

Ohhhh!!! It’s exciting

The Joker

11:10:13 Ari <3

Stella
No, we draw numbers for the bonus ones :)

Greenheart Stables

11:09:24 Gren|Grenlin|Snek

@Bird
I don't know, shes the only one that ever aware its feeding day 😭, I fear for my hand every time

BlackRose

11:08:41 Stella

Does the winner pick from the list what they want?

Hummingbird Meadows

11:07:23 Bird

@Lucky, he's a sweaty boy!

Lucky Ranch

11:06:55 luhckeigh

cutie
-Click-

The Joker

11:05:14 Ari <3

Pssst, bonus prize list has been published 👀 take a sneak peek here
-HEE Click-

Hummingbird Meadows

11:02:38 Bird

@Green, that seems to be a common occurrence among snakes. XD

Greenheart Stables

10:57:45 Gren|Grenlin|Snek

@Bird
Yeah my other two are absolutely angels if you don't count the monster Aphrodite becomes when she sees a rat 😆

Hummingbird Meadows

10:55:46 Bird

@Green, oof, yeah that doesn't sound fun.

Greenheart Stables

10:54:28 Gren|Grenlin|Snek

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than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.

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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook

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I'm Writing a Thing

December 18, 2020 04:39 PM

TenaciTea

Posts: 1929
#825382
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Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.

The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.

And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD

Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook

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