Horse Eden Eventing Game
Horse Eden Eventing Game


Year: 197   Season: Fall   
$: 0
Forecast: Heavy Downpours, Flood Warning
Forecast:
Fri 08:42am  
Stables Online:  100 
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Rubygem-Chenya
08:41:37 Asha-Star
Our Bernese Mountain dog love's this weather
Crestwood Eq.
08:40:52 Ivy
I typically do pretty well with genetic practice. I have a system
MPWTS EQUINES
08:40:51 Lunar/luna
I get to be big back because I'm having a christmas party in class right now XD
Crestwood Eq.
08:40:04 Ivy
No snow though
Running R Ranch
08:40:03 RRR (Jo)
Haha xD
The Old Gods
08:40:02 Void Malign
x) and yes. AI does make the genetics practice easier. It'll still make mistakes, but I kinda attribute that to it applying more complete genetics than what HEE has. Still, Gemini got 79/100 correct which is a hell of a lot more than what I could have done.
Crestwood Eq.
08:39:58 Ivy
Same
Rubygem-Chenya
08:39:51 Asha-Star
And then it went back to snow
Rubygem-Chenya
08:39:43 Asha-Star
It was raining yesterday for me
River
08:39:21 ♡ River
Thank youu <3
Running R Ranch
08:39:13 RRR (Jo)
We have yet to have any snow where we are this year. It's currently raining though from the Pineapple Express we're getting x)
Rubygem-Chenya
08:39:06 Asha-Star
Happy HEE anniversary River 😊
Crestwood Eq.
08:38:32 Ivy
I saw!
River
08:38:25 ♡ River
Today is my HEE anniversary!
Crestwood Eq.
08:35:54 Ivy
Lol
Rubygem-Chenya
08:35:46 Asha-Star
Aw come on the snow was melting now it's back darn it (😂)
Crestwood Eq.
08:34:11 Ivy
Oo now i have 3
Crestwood Eq.
08:32:51 Ivy
Ugh i have 1 bar of service
Rubygem-Chenya
08:32:05 Asha-Star
Min
Same
Rubygem-Chenya
08:30:54 Asha-Star
-HEE Click-

Pretty I like her coat

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Rubygem-Chenya
08:41:37 Asha-Star
Our Bernese Mountain dog love's this weather
Crestwood Eq.
08:40:52 Ivy
I typically do pretty well with genetic practice. I have a system
MPWTS EQUINES
08:40:51 Lunar/luna
I get to be big back because I'm having a christmas party in class right now XD
Crestwood Eq.
08:40:04 Ivy
No snow though
Running R Ranch
08:40:03 RRR (Jo)
Haha xD
The Old Gods
08:40:02 Void Malign
x) and yes. AI does make the genetics practice easier. It'll still make mistakes, but I kinda attribute that to it applying more complete genetics than what HEE has. Still, Gemini got 79/100 correct which is a hell of a lot more than what I could have done.
Crestwood Eq.
08:39:58 Ivy
Same
Rubygem-Chenya
08:39:51 Asha-Star
And then it went back to snow
Rubygem-Chenya
08:39:43 Asha-Star
It was raining yesterday for me
River
08:39:21 ♡ River
Thank youu <3
Running R Ranch
08:39:13 RRR (Jo)
We have yet to have any snow where we are this year. It's currently raining though from the Pineapple Express we're getting x)
Rubygem-Chenya
08:39:06 Asha-Star
Happy HEE anniversary River 😊
Crestwood Eq.
08:38:32 Ivy
I saw!
River
08:38:25 ♡ River
Today is my HEE anniversary!
Crestwood Eq.
08:35:54 Ivy
Lol
Rubygem-Chenya
08:35:46 Asha-Star
Aw come on the snow was melting now it's back darn it (😂)
Crestwood Eq.
08:34:11 Ivy
Oo now i have 3
Crestwood Eq.
08:32:51 Ivy
Ugh i have 1 bar of service
Rubygem-Chenya
08:32:05 Asha-Star
Min
Same
Rubygem-Chenya
08:30:54 Asha-Star
-HEE Click-

Pretty I like her coat

You must be a registered member for more
than 1 day before you can use our chatbox.






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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

I'm Writing a Thing December 18, 2020 04:39 PM


TenaciTea
 
Posts: 1929
#825382
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Pandora Creek said:

If the other workers are acting like this is normal and she's surprised maybe make this her first week on the job? Also if there's an elevator but no warning not to take it maybe taking the elevator is a test for people? Also how does the murderer leave if the body slumps right as it opens on the third floor?

Some of your word choices made me have to reread the sentence but it's pretty good. "too-late paramedics" feels particularly clumsy in the sentence.



The idea is that she's kind of isolated from what's going on (doesn't really pay much attention to the news, etc) and the behavior that's been spreading has been kind of normalized violence, justified by "laziness". She's not aware of it. I haven't figured out much of her backstory yet, but the fact that using elevators is generally frowned on (and in her place of work, responsible resource use is especially important) might contribute to why she hasn't witnessed this before.
And I never said which floor the elevator started from xD
Yep! This is only a first draft, I'll look into changing that sentence.

Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
   1    2 

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