I looked up at my husband, dressed fully in his military uniform. A tear dripped down my face, which he quickly brushed away. "But why, Tyler? You haven't gone into the Force for years now. The kids need you. I need you." He shook his head. "I know. But all those years ago, I swore I'd serve for six years. I only made it two. They have a right to ask me to defend my country for the next four years."

I bit my lip and looked down. I knew he was right, but I didn't want him to go. Tyler pulled me into a tight, fierce hug. "It'll be just fine, Agnus. The four years will be up before you know, then I'll be home. Just you wait."

But I waited. And he never came back.

Our three children were called down to break the news to them, May, eighteen, Matt, sixteen, and Daisy, fourteen. "Dad, why are you dressed like that?" Daisy was the first to ask. "That's why we called you down here," Tyler replied with regret in his voice. "I have to go back into the military." Matt's brow furrowed. "But Dad," he said. "The last time you went in you almost.. Died." Tyler nodded and patted Matt's shoulder. "I know, son. But it's still my duty to serve."

Then May spoke for the first time. Her voice broke my heart. Thin, quiet. Scared. Helpless, even. She didn't know what to do if her father left. None of us did. "Why?" She asked. "How can they do this? They can't just drag you away from us." I shook my head. "He took an oath, May. He has to if they need him." May looked down, but couldn't hide her tears. Everyone's eyes were at least moist. "I love you all so much," Tyler said. "I'll be able to talk to you pretty often. I'm only training recruits, I'm not flying again." This seemed to put the kids at ease a little.

Tyler continued. "It's not like when I was deployed on a mission, even though you were too young to remember that. I'll be able to talk to you all the time."

But one day, the texts stopped.

As final hugs were given all around, even Tyler was fighting to keep his face strong. He pulled me aside again and told me that he had a bank account I didn't know about that he had been depositing a little into each week for the past eighteen years. It was a fair fortune. "Don't dip into it if you don't need to," he said. "But I don't want you to have to go back to work." Since we married, I hadn't worked. I didn't need to. Tyler worked as a pilot for a large airline that he flew with out of Chicago, and he had been promoted to senior pilot recently since he had been there so long. But now he had to give it up. Fifteen years of flying, to go back to the same place that had rejected him as a liability once.

He pulled me into one last deep, loving kiss then then hugged the girls goodbye, pausing when he got to Matt. "I'm proud of you, son." he said. I could see Matt straighten up the tiniest bit. Tyler placed a strong hand on Matt's shoulder and continued. "You've turned into a man. Not just a man, but a good man. Take care of your mother and sisters while I'm gone." Matt nodded stiffly. To my surprise, I noticed he was fighting to not cry. But as he hugged his father, something I didn't see often, I knew just how close a bond they shared.

Finally Tyler reluctantly left. We all stood outside to watch him go, my dam finally breaking as silent tears rolled down my face. He drove off to the military bases few states away, and after a few days we finally managed to get back into a routine. The kids went back to school. I tried to figure out what Tyler was doing with paying the bills, as that was always his job, not mine. He coached me at night on what to do, but we spent more time talking about the kids than we did working.

But one day, about a month later, the texts stopped. No texts, no calls, nothing. I decided he was just busy, he couldn't get the time to talk. A week dragged by into two. I was starting to get scared now, even angry at him. Then the call finally came.

I was in the kitchen one evening, packing the kids their lunches, when the phone rang. I immediately assumed it was Tyler and answered without even looking at the caller ID. It wasn't him. "Mrs. Anston?" The voice on the other line said. I felt my heart drop. This couldn't be good. The voice was grave, also cold. He sounded like he had other things to do and wanted to get this over with. "Speaking," I replied shakily. The voice on the other line started talking as soon as he heard that. It was down to the point and blunt. "Mrs. Anston, the late Tyler Salvador Anston was shot and killed on January 8th. He fought bravely and sacrificed himself for his squadmates. A memorial flag will be delivered to you in the next week."

I could tell he was reading from a script, as there was no heart in his words. But at that moment, I didn't care. I didn't say anything to the man, just hung up the phone and stood there in shock. I didn't wail or sob. I wish I did, but there reaches a threshold of pain that it hurts too much to cry. That was where I was. I just felt.. Numb.

I don't really remember what I did. It all became a blur. Somehow I ended up curled up on the couch. I remember the phone ringing in the kitchen still, probably my parents. I remember staring blankly across the room, then Matt coming downstairs,wondering why the phone was ringing still I guess, and seeing me. He didn't ask any questions. He just got this horrible injured look on his face and sat next to me. Neither of us said a word for a while, but in that time a few tears had slid down my cheeks. "M- mom?" He finally asked quietly. I looked over at him, trying to pull myself from this numb state but I couldn't. "It's Dad, isn't it?" I nodded slightly,but that phrase broke me the rest of the way, and I started sobbing. Even Matt, who never cried, first looked pained and conflicted then leaned into me, quietly crying too.

The dead silence brought the girls downstairs too, and seeing both of us in tears made them both understand what happened. May bit her lip, her eyes already watering, but the look on Daisy's face jolted me out of my numb state. No tears were in her eyes that sparked with anger. Her face was set and grim, her fists clenched. She reminded me far too much of myself. She was grieving just like us.. She just channeled the grief into pure, unrestrained rage.

"Daisy.." I started weakly as she turned on her heel, but too late. She stormed out of the room and into the basement, slamming the door shut behind her. Each step she took down the stairs echoed, and then every punch she made. I could tell by the sound that she was hitting the heavy bag with bare fists, not bothering to put gloves on.

May hesitated for a moment then came over to my other side, curling up then putting her head on my shoulder. I don't know how long we laid there. The darkness deepened, minutes ticked by. My mind couldn't stop running through the drama that was my life, and how I met him.

I had never told the kids everything, about our relationship, about how we met.. They knew key things, that was about it. Now I wanted to tell them the rest of the story, but it was just too soon after a loss. It must have been twelve thirty, maybe even one in the morning, when I finally took a deep breath and said, "I need to go check on Daisy." May nodded, but Matt moved to come with me. I shook my head. "No. I'll go alone," I said, then turned and padded softly downstairs.

It was worse than I'd imagined. Daisy hadn't stopped punching yet, and her hair was a mess, her whole body soaked in sweat. That wasn't really my worry though. The heavy bag had blood dripping down it, Daisy's fists raw and bleeding from not wearing any sort of protective wrap. She didn't look at me as I came down.

Inspires me to stick to some of my life choices.

ItÂ’s such an amazing piece of writing! Very touching and plays with your emotions. I love it!