One of my old trainer's favourite things to say to me (because I was quite anxious when I was younger, and was often reluctant to try anything like a big canter or higher jumps)

me: *busy freaking out*
Trainer: *forces me to try anyway*
me: *mildly succeeds*
Trainer: "See!? You didn't even die once!"

My mum (aka my trainer) told me this yesterday "slow your ass down to slow his feet!" When I did so he stopped and I got impaled buy the saddle horn

My trainer has said almost all of these to me 😅

I kinda feel bad for the horses that are being riden whilst the rider is being trained by any of these trainers

Her: "Im going to put this imaginary egg under you, dont crack my egg"

Me: two points

Her: "Anddd my egg is all over the saddle"

.

.

Her: "Its like ballet if it hurts your doing it right"

.

.

Her: "Smack her with the crop like you would smack your brothers!"

Him: (a cowboy) Get your hand on the horn! Do you think you're a **** cowboy? You wanna look cool or be dead?

Me: (gladly and quickly grabs horn)

Him: You'll look pretty stupid dead. What a dumb way to kill yourself...

Me: (tries not to cry and keeps loping without reins)
Him: (continues rant about how everyone thinks it's so cool to not hold the horn)

Horse people are a TOUGH kind of people 🙃

A classic "the jump isn't going anywhere, EYES UP!!"

*mare starts bucking*
"SH*T GRAB ON!!"

*doesn't grab on and just pulls her head up and rides it out 😅*

*bucking subsides*
"There you go!"
-
*cantering around bareback (without a bareback pad >.>) gelding decides he's had enough of my sh*t and starts crow hopping, then bucking*
"WHOA WHOA PULL BACK PULL BACK! -- You were squeeezing too hard, go do it again but relax"

-

"Shorten your reins....more....SHORTEN THEM MORE!"

-

-(different trainer)-

*loses both stirrups mid-canter because apparently I just kept my heels down and didn't actually put weight in them 😭*

*freaks out a little (even though I wasn't really using them apparently??) and starts wobbling around like a baby deer before righting myself and stopping*
"hey look you didn't fall!"

(me) "yeah I'm not used to an English saddle after so long"

"oh right you usually ride in a western saddle. Oops xD"

-

"alright (other riders) come to the middle!"

*starts looking around to see who she wants to stay out (spoiler, she meant me xD)*
*walks back out to the rail*
"okay, ask her whenever you're rea- you do want to canter right?"

(me) *has not ridden this horse in a year* "uh yeah?"

-If you don't put your heels down then you'll go over his head!

-*To Flies* "I Kill you!"

-left leg, Left Leg, LEFT LEG

-Why are you pulling on you right rein? I don't understand why your doing that

-*to horse* "You are such a brat!"

-*I feel horses back round and pull her head up* "Why did you do that!? Why did you pull her back!?"

-*horse runs me into fence* That's it I'm comin' in there!

all of those are actually so funny and so real

"She looks like a giraffe get her head down!"

"Good recovery but your not gonna make that- okayy 100% commitment love it"

"More leg MORE LEG"

"I said OVER the jump, not around it"

"COMMITMENT"

"Get. him. in. that. corner."

I had a student practicing an equitation course today for the first time and she did her first ever rollback, and for her first time I told her to go around the end jump, but instead she went to the inside of it and executed it perfectly (it would've been an impressive turn even if it HADN'T been her first time ever attempting something like that) and I just yelled "HELL YEESSSS" before I could stop myself and then immediately had to apologize to the parents for swearing. But omg.