"Land and go back to your original canter. Unless your original canter was crap, then don't do that."

"Put you big girl panties on", "Your horse is still there, stop looking down", "Ride em' like you stole em'" are some of my favorites. There's more though, specifically referencing the movie Major Payne lol xD

"What the hell do you think you are riding?" Puts her hands in the air, "A motorcycle? Vroom Vroom." Was the latest one.

"Now, do it again. This time don't ride like your drunk"

The exercise was cantering down a set of narrow poles with 5 strides between them and I was failing miserably

"Stop leaning! You look like the fin of a orca in captivity."

I'm a trainer at a farm with multiple trainers. The other day we were setting up something and the other trainer said "okay, one more time." and then a few moments later, "one more time. One more time again. Last time, I promise." and I just went "wow that really is the biggest lie we say, isn't it?"

I don't take human clients but I do train horses and the shit I say to them makes me crack up. It's the only way I stay sane!

One of my favorite things to say to horses that are hard to catch is "that's alright, I'm a persistence predator. I'll just follow you around at a close distance til you give up."

My old trainer bought a horse and was talking about her draft bolting "I like my arms ... attached" she said

I had a trainer who once told another girl "a bag of potatos has a better seat than you do". Another time he told another rider "The horse doesn't need to bunny hop. How the hell do you stay on a bunny rabbit."

to someone riding in a lesson after me "you don't get to ruin another horse that's not yours." just a little brutal lol