Hello there. I've been riding for four years now, and been competing for two years together with my project pony.
We started off in the easy levels, scoring 70-73% and winning, I was confident and loved it. My pony has always been nervous and spooky, but it went well as I could handle it by staying calm and giving her a helping hand when she started to get worked up over nothing.

However, this last year has been a disaster. We've reached the FEI-levels on pony and, at home everything works very very good. Pony is super nice to work with and has really gotten strong and supple in all the movements. We've gone out on training competitions and scored up to 68% in the FEI Individual and Team test.

But as soon as I'm out on a real competition, I feel like I'm going to throw up. I get so incredibly nervous. And, since I got a horse that already is tense and nervous, of course she gets just as bad as me. It's gotten dangerous. I don't know what to do.

What are your tips on becoming calm again? I guess I just need to go back to competing and coming out every single weekend, getting the routine back. Covid-19 stopped us from competing for half a year, so I kinda lost the routine.

I just need some advice. I have good trainers but they're not able to follow me across the country on competitions and couch me unfortunately.

// Tanzi

coach lol oops not couch

First of all, that's so cool that you're able to ride that well. Second of all, trust your pony. I mean not *too* much since we all know that ponies are at least a quarter evil, but still. You've worked with this horse and done well with her for a while. Third, remember that you've done this before. Just try to relax and your pony will relax too.

With nerves in general, I find thinking of a good memory helps personally. This night not work for you, but it's one of the few ways I can control myself. A 'mantra' seems to help a bit too. I use "You're an overcomer". It sounds really weird, repeat it under your breath putting an emphasis on the same word each time.

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No idea if that helps xD but good luck!

I had this for a while to. To the point where I would spend hours throwing up while cleaning pens. One day my parents took me off the property for about an hour and we went to mcdonalds and ate food. The getting away and doing something we wouldnt normally do at a show really helped. Every time I go into the ring I do still get the butterflies but I take a breath and remember that show. It sounds stupid BUT it has helped. I would find something that helps you 'get away' and remeber that.

I would go to low level fun shows and give the horse more experience away from the house. It can be participating in shows or just riding around at rodeos. If your horse only leaves the house for serious competitions and vet work, it may be afraid of going to the vet or messing up. What you need is to show it that you can leave the house and have a nice, calm, relaxed experience. By going places where you aren't competing or aren't worried about winning, you'll take some pressure off it. Going to strange arenas to practice could also help. It sounds like your horse just gets nervous in places it isn't familiar with. Going to places to ride for fun could help with your nerves as well. If you're just there to have a good time and aren't worried about winning, it's way less stressful. Exposure therapy works wonders for me. When I want to take a new horse to playdays, I take it with one of my horses that is used to hauling so that they learn the first time that it isn't scary. I just started a colt that I'm going to haul along and lope the patterns with next year and he may be the one exception though. He didn't seem to mind his trip to be gelded until it was time for the anesthesia.

I see no one else has suggested this yet, but if you are keen and there are any in your area try going to a sport psychologist. Many (if not the majority) top athletes in other sports actually work with sport psychologists to ensure they are at the top of their game mentally. It sounds to me as if you have performance anxiety, a sport psychologist would be able to give you strategies to help cope with your nerves.

You may also find now that you are competing again that after a few competitions that your nerves may naturally start decreasing.

I agree with this. I see a psychologist for things in general but he's definitely helped my riding. I had a traumatic brain injury a few months ago and struggled to get back into riding, I used to be so nervous I'd hold my breath whilst I was jumping and utterly exhaust myself. Last week I won £100 in a triple bar high jump competition, didn't hold my breath once :)

Definitely consider a psychologist. Might just change your life.