I don't really even know how to process this, in all honesty, but I really need to vent because life is hell right now.

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We found out one of our dogs had cancer about...a month ago. It was wholly inoperable, and very unlikely to be put into remission. The vet said even with attempts to put it into remission, she'd more than likely only have two months.

I personally wanted to have her PTS that week, because I'd noticed how quickly she was losing weight and wasn't wanting to eat or do anything, but I don't technically own her, so it wasn't my choice. I hate the fact that my family doesn't listen to anyone (there's a hell of a lot where that comes from, but...dont have the energy right now), I feel like I should've done more to get my point across, but. yknow, hindsight is 20/20, right?

My family chose to do chemo, and, well, here we are. A month later and she's worse off than she was before, so we're doing an at home euthanasia. This was one thing I convinced them to do since she's already a really anxious dog and I think she'd have a much more peaceful time going to sleep somewhere she is warm and loved and not a place that was a source of pain and fear for her (we made mistakes when we first got her, and she wasn't properly socialized. we've learned from these mistakes, now)

We have another dog who's older, but they've grown together for 8 years. I know this will be just as hard for her and it pains me to think that she'll be losing her too. I don't know what to do, really. I know I want her to be able to have closure, so we're letting her sniff the body when the time comes, but. Aghhhhh. Other than that, I don't know what to do? We owned a pair previously, but one of them passed naturally so the other dog was there with her but we weren't, so she had her own time to grieve without us there.

I've never had to have to deal with losing a dog in this way before (specifically with another dog present- my family has had other dogs PTS before, but not with pairs). I know it is the right thing to do, I wish we'd done it sooner so she didn't have to suffer for so much longer. I'm just terrified that this will be the thing that sends my other dog into a downward spiral, too.

Dealing with this (she was my dog even if I didn't own her, yknow? Best dog I've ever had even if she was an absolute menace sometimes) along with a lot of other family, health, and life matters is starting to feel an awful lot like im drowning.

Do you guys have any ideas on how to help other dogs (and me, aha) grieve, and, well. ideas on how to honor her? We're keeping her collar, I'll probably mount it somewhere, but haven't decided whether to cremate or bury her.