For the past 8 months I have the opportunity to lease a wonderful thoroughbred gelding named Mars. But due to time constraints and conflict with his owner I have made the decision to longer lease him. I really loved Mars and was hoping one day I could buy him, but yesterday his owner made it clear to me she is not happy with me. This isn't the first time she has been upset with me and it has honestly tainted my view of people in the horse world.

When I first started leasing Mars I would get texts from his owner asking me where her tack was and why her locker was unlocked. I always use my own tack when riding him and would remind her that I had not been in her locker.

A little while later my trainer told me Mar's owner had asked her if she could buy him. My trainer was unable to buy him so suggested I reach out and say I was interested. His owner then tells me she was talking about selling him in a couple years, not now. Why ask someone to buy your horse when you actually meant in a couple years?

Throughout the summer there would be occasions where I would show up and Mars would not be there for me to ride him because his owner had taken him to a show without informing me. We did not have a written contract so there wasn't much I could do.

Finally, a 2 weeks ago I informed his owner I needed to find a job in order to continue leasing. Despite this, I offered to pay half of what I normally pay in December because I was going to be out of country on vacation for 2 weeks.

It took her 1 week to respond to my message and she basically took all her anger out on me. She said she is going to be searching for someone new to lease him and is upset I am not taking exercising her horse seriously.

Excuse me? Our verbal agreement for leasing is not about ME exercising YOUR horse. It is about me getting the opportunity to ride and learn. Turns out the whole reason she wanted me to lease her horse was so he can be exercised because she is too lazy or busy to do it herself.

I have been nothing but kind to this girl. I reached out to offer my condolences when her grandfather died. I congratulated her when she won at shows. I informed her if her horse was lame. And what do I get in return? I get treated like crap by a spoiled brat.

I am so tired of being treated like I am nothing because I can't afford my own horse. I have reached the point in my riding career where I cannot progress or be treated with respect unless I have my own horse. I cannot afford a horse until I graduate which won't happen for another 3 years.

This isn't the first time I have been treated badly because I can't afford a horse. At my old barn I was even shamed for not being able to afford fancy saddle pads and tack. I was left out of shows and barn events because I didn't have my own horse.

Why can't the horse community be welcoming to others? Why is everyone so entitled? I would like to continue weekly lessons, but don't know if my trainer has another horse available for me to ride. I have looked into taking lessons at other places, but most barns require you to have your own horse. I am honestly tempted to just give it all up until I can afford my own horse when I graduate.

Right now my only comfort comes from my Breyer horses. They are the closest I can come to the horse world right now because thery are affordable and welcoming.

I am so so sorry this is what you're dealing with. The horse world can definitely be snarky and snobby and unnecessarily rude. Do you have to time for a horse thats a project? Or do you need a horse that is ready to be a riding partner so you can advance together?
Project and rescue horses can be super rewarding (they take lots of time though)
I hope you don't give up on your horse journey and that you find nicer people to surround yourself with. Lots of hugs