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Going to keep this as short as possible. . When I received the crushing news about my father, I wanted to be left be. Like, left BE type be, to just play my games with him and not speak to anybody else verbally. . When I first got with this dude, I made it extensively clear that I am a selective mute, and if he can't deal with it, then I don't think he and I should be a thing. My silence means that I am okay, I said, I just wanted room to breathe and think. He said, you know. He'll work through it, and if not, then he'll learn to live with it. In his words, "you've got your flaws, and if it can't be fixed, then I need to understand that." . Kind of rude considering I've been working on this "flaw" in therapy for over 12 years... But... Meh? . Now... Back to my father. Again, that news made me distant. And I told my ex upfront, I can't tolerate a relationship right now, I can't tolerate cling, you've gotta relax and stop hovercrafting. . He has a history of WATCHING my every move and reloading my profiles to see what I'm up to, EVEN when it's on private. I spoke to him again and again, this is not okay, this isn't what you promised, knock it off. He didn't... He started asking my family and friends, then, where I was and where I was shopping, what I've been eating, etc. CREEPY. So I let him go, under the reason of incompatibility. I did NOT appreciate the "I'm hurting when you're gone" excuse. You think I'm not? . This dude had the guts to message my father (whom I do not even live with) and try a story of abusiveness from me to get me to talk to him again, through my ill father. I'm pissed. |
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I would consider getting a restraining order against him. He's doing the whole stalker thing and that is seriously not okay. |
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Hawkeye Farms said:
I would consider getting a restraining order against him. He's doing the whole stalker thing and that is seriously not okay.
I guess I hadn't thought about that, yet. Thank you for the idea, I will absolutely look into it. I've never gone through with something as such before, and didn't know online profile reloading could qualify in the list of reasons. |
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Yeah reloading the profiles may not fully qualify under the stalker laws, but contacting your family constantly, and showing up where you're at is def. stalker. Also considering he's trying to isolate you to him alone that's abusive to you. He's trying to control and isolate you. DO NOT let him do that to you. Also document everything he's doing. As I said a restraining order might be a good thing to persue with him. Once you have that if he shows up anywhere near you call the cops and they will arrest him. And I will say this if I knew you personally and we were RL friends if he started trying to track you down through me I'd pretty much tell him off, not to contact me again, and if he kept trying to contact me I'd sic the cops on him for harrassment. But then again I'd do that for any of my friends or family who end up in situations like this. I've been in them before as well, and well I can be intimading when I need to be, and my last ex who tried that with me freaked out when I was sharpening a blade then blooded it while giving him a very evil look. |
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Wanted to thank you, Hawkeye, for the restraining order suggestion. . I stopped contacting him for a couple of weeks. Like, fully, and unfriended him on everything to get him to fully stop because he was checking my Steam profile for my move to Tennessee. I told him we needed to stop all of this, because he was stalker-like. I again got the "autism" excuse. A couple of days ago, he exploded at me for "leaving him in the dark" and "calling him worthless" by not speaking to him, which I find heartless considering my father has cancer and I've been moving across the country, and I do not emotionally or physically have time to convince him any longer that we are not compatible. I've told him in the past. It's NOT new information, nor did he keep any of his promises to convince me. . Eventually I removed my state location, and when I arrived in Tennessee, I found this dude NEAR my property, his car on the street, looking for either my house or me. . I am going through with this restraining order as I do not feel safe. He's asking his friends if any of them still have my house number (I've deleted it from all chats), and it's not okay anymore. |
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Versailles said:
Wanted to thank you, Hawkeye, for the restraining order suggestion. . I stopped contacting him for a couple of weeks. Like, fully, and unfriended him on everything to get him to fully stop because he was checking my Steam profile for my move to Tennessee. I told him we needed to stop all of this, because he was stalker-like. I again got the "autism" excuse. A couple of days ago, he exploded at me for "leaving him in the dark" and "calling him worthless" by not speaking to him, which I find heartless considering my father has cancer and I've been moving across the country, and I do not emotionally or physically have time to convince him any longer that we are not compatible. I've told him in the past. It's NOT new information, nor did he keep any of his promises to convince me. . Eventually I removed my state location, and when I arrived in Tennessee, I found this dude NEAR my property, his car on the street, looking for either my house or me. . I am going through with this restraining order as I do not feel safe. He's asking his friends if any of them still have my house number (I've deleted it from all chats), and it's not okay anymore.
Oh my god Versa!! that's terrible! He is 100% stalker-y and that must be incredibly scary!! get that restraining order and stay safe <3 |
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Good about getting the restraining order. If he doesn't respect it he goes to jail simple as that. There are a few things you can do to be extra safe with this guy. 1.) Look into a self defense class 2.) Get security cameras, a ring doorbell, motion sensor flood light for the house. 3.) Get a dog 4.) Vary the driving paths you use to whatever you're doing daily. Make it hard for him to find you on the roads. If he does start following you on the roads, go to a public place, and try to blend into the crowd, or to the police station and aske the police for help. 5.) Learn your state's stand your ground / castle laws 6.) If your car has an alarm system keep the fob near you at night so you can set it off if he shows up at your house. 7.) Keep a weapon by your bed (this is if he does manage to get into your home, and this also ties in with stand your ground / castle law) If you need to talk you can always message me, and I'll try to help you out the best I can. |
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Sunny
