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This has gotten to a point where I am venting here because I would really like some outside opinions. I feel like I am going crazy one minute, then like I am overreacting the next, but the truth is, the following situation is very very emotional for me. I am 24. The youngest in my family, and I have quite a hectic history in my little life. As some may know, I recently lost my dad on the 29th of December 2025.
My parents were divorced for 3+ years (I can't really remember the dates), and he was with his girlfriend "B" for about a year. They didn't move in together, they weren't planning on ever getting married, and my dad would talk about not wanting to get married again, ever.
I was very close to B. She was very cool.
Not anymore. B has blocked me.
Why? You ask.
Because I had to ask my mom and her lawyers to get involved to get her to stop using my dads personal email and going through it. Once the lawyers were involved, I then received multiple messages from some of my dads closest friends, about how I am a disappointment for letting my mom get involved especially against such a sweet woman.
(Some background: My brother was in rehab for the beginning of the year. My mom took over as his representative during this whole estate stuff for my dad, so, she legally is required to be aware of what is going on, and she does have 50% say in the matter, too.)
This sweet woman called me a child, and said I do not know what I am doing, an that I can't handle my dads emails or look for what she needs. This woman kept my dads phone for 2-3 days after his death, saying she "wants the last living thing of him" with her. What did I have? Nothing. What did I do? I screamed and cried in the car on the way home, nearly deafening my boyfriend in the process. But I let her do that.
Now, I find a picture of one of my dads missing watches, on her table in her room. (Posted a day ago.) The watch my mom gave my father for their 10th anniversary. The one where he save dup to get it repaired, even after his divorce. But I am blocked, what can I do?
My brother reached out to her and asked her for it, only to be lied to, saying it was at my dads place. (It is not. I know it is not. But those details are not so important.)
I am now at the point where I am going to get the police involved. This isn't a cheap watch, and I am executor of my dads estate. My family has a tradition that the father's watch goes to the son, or the grandson. This watch should be going to my brother.
And now, reading this, I am like, all of this over a watch? Really? But, I really don't think my dad would want his watch sitting on her bedside table for the rest of her life. I remember how he would talk about her. He loved her, but he didn't want his whole life to be around her, and now I feel like that's all shes trying to do.
I had to fight to get his entire marvel collection from her place as well, too. Had to have a breakdown just to get her to allow me to come to her house and collect the boxes. I know people grieve differently, I do, and my dad would say to be understanding, but this has gotten to a point of, what about me? What about the family?
There's so many financial difficulties we are facing now because of how he died and the implications, this is the last type of thing I want to be dealing with, but I feel like a daughter and son have the next say in who gets what of their father's things. Not the woman he knew for two years at most...
I reall am so lost with how to proceed. I don't want police involved, because that's nasty, but this lying and stuff is really getting to me, and being nice and understanding clearly isn't getting results. I am afraid of being bullied by people twice my age again for being so "rude" and "formal" too, but I really have no idea on how else to make her understand how serious these things are to our family?
I even allowed her to seperate his ashes and let her keep some. This went directly against one of my dads wishes of all of his ashes being spread in the ocean.
What more do you want from my father other than literal ashes of his body? Honestly.
Am I being crazy? Edited at March 18, 2026 06:03 AM by Vahana Hollow
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Moderator
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First I'm sorry for your loss and that you are going through this.
We had to deal with something similar-ish. My MIL passed away about ten years ago. My FIL got a girlfriend about 5-6 years after. He did pass away about a year and a half ago. The girlfriend tried saying she was his health care proxy (there was no proxy so decisions would go to my husband as next of kin), wouldn't tell my husband his father was in the hospital, etc. my husbands grandmother was letting them live for free in one of her houses that she trashed. She ended up having to evict her after he passed (mind you nearly a year later) then slandered the whole family online for being heartless and putting a woman who just lost the love her life out onto the streets. Then messaged freaking everyone for rides places. Oh and she showed up late late to his funeral and never came to the get together after because "it was too hard".
tony could get any of his fathers belongings. His grandmother had to go gather things in the 24 hours she was allowed.
so based on my similar experience. Get that watch. Use your power as the executor. Get the police involved. This is bullshit and people are freaking batshit if they think what she is doing is remotely ok in an already difficult situation.
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I reached out to B's sister, providing evidence and asking for a response or to talk about the situation.
I was blocked without a reply. These people are like twice my age? What is with this blocking? I was not rude, mean, or insincere in my message.
This sounds like a big fat joke. ;-;
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I'm so sorry for you loss and what you are having to deal with now. You are not crazy. Keep in mind that other people are only hearing one side of the story so don't let what they do or say get to you. Block them in whatever way necessary if you have to. You are trying to do what is right for you, your family, and to follow your father's wishes. Get the police involved so that you can get your father's watch and then use whatever legal means necessary to cut off her access to everything.
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I went through something similar like this as well with my dad's girlfriend when he passed. Except she took his bank card after he passed and spent a whole bunch of money. We ended up filing fraud charges against her. In retaliation, she kept my dad's ashes.....people are petty I'm sorry for your loss. Keep your head up, I wish you the best.
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Thank you for all of the feedback, everyone. I am actually quite relieved knowing I am not crazy or the only one that has had to experience such things.
I have had a friend reach out to her today, and have had an attorney send a formal letter to her emails regarding this watch and wanting to communicate.
If there is no headway made in the next 24 hours, then I will sadly be handing this over to the attorneys entirely to handle and involve the law. :)
I have a feeling my name will be dragged through the dirt on Facebook for this, but I have taken screenshots of everything, and I am not going down without one hell of a fight.
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