So, I need to vent. I'm a nurse and I am paired with an amazing provider and I tell her everything. She is kind of like my therapist in a way, even though I need to get a therapist for things. She tells me things and I help her as well. So win, win situation. I'll give you a little bit of background so you guys have a general idea what is going on. Basically, my mom is a narcissist, thinks everything is about her, doesn't support me, talks down on me, thinks my life is hers, etc.

So, I have been dating my fiancé for 3 and half months. He has been wonderful and I wouldn't trade him for anyone else in the world. I met him online and then we met in person and we hit it off. Granted, he knows about my past with my dad. My dad is a narcissist and did a lot of emotional, verbal, and mental abuse towards me for my whole life until my parents got divorced about 4 years ago. It was a great day when he moved out of the house and we could finally breathe. But with the years of that, I have learned to keep my emotions behind a mask that it was scary how bad it was. In turn, it made me not trust men and made me not want to find anyone, especially when I got cheated and lied to from an ex before I met my fiancé a few years later.

Anyways, back to topic. Everybody has some issues that they need to work on, which he has and it isn't anything that puts me off or anything. I have came a long way with showing my emotions honestly and it still is hard half the time to express them, which I keep working on to this day. So, my fiancé, my boyfriend at the time, met my mom. She absolutely hates him after being around him for long periods of time. She thinks that he is like my dad, which I hate when she says that because he isn't. I have told her multiple times that I would never put myself into that position again. She thinks I am being blindside, but I am not. If she knew everything my dad did to me, she would think differently about saying that, but I don't need to justify anything to her as this is my life, not hers.

Not long after I got together with my partner, did she find someone for herself. He is nice and all, but he is in a lot of ways like my dad. Not as bad as he treats us well, but still has a lot of similar traits. I have told her before but she didn't see it. Just about two months ago roughly, she told me how he was like dad and blah, blah. They even got engaged about a year after dating. They recently broke up, but are still living together and might get back together. I can't help but bang my head against the wall since she obviously put herself back in the same position she was with dad, but not as bad of one.

The last fight we had before we got engage had to do with hugs of all things that started the argument. I was in no mood to be touched by anyone or hugged and my mother kept on poking me even after I told her to stop. Then she asked my partner "I should be able to touch her, shouldn't I?" He answered along the lines of if I didn't want to be touched, I didn't want to be touched. Then she processed to say that since I am her daughter, I should be able to hug her and touch her if she wants to. He said, well, if she doesn't want to be touched, that is her right. My mom got so upset that she ended up going upstairs and started crying. He was nice about it but she was upset with his answers. I talked to her and then she started a fight with me of not liking him and blah, blah ,bah. The usual things she tells me. Then the next day, she said that if I want her in my life or if I need her, she will be there, but other than that, she won't be there.

She also called me a disappointment over Christmas as well. We were supposed to go to her in Nevada for Christmas, but we ended up not going down as I ended up not feeling well. I didn't want to be around them and my Grandma was out as well and I especially didn't want to be around her as I didn't want to get her sick. She said that I should still come down as they have the space in the house to keep the distance. She didn't understand I didn't want to come because I wasn't feeling good and I didn't want to drive seven hours on top of that to them. She said some things and then proceed to say I was a disappointment, which caused a lot of emotional damage to me. I told him we should go down since then I wouldn't be a disappointment to her. He said that would be giving into what she wants and said we aren't going. I brought this p to her during out fight and she said I didn't, which I proceed to go back on the messages and sent her the screenshot when she texted me that. Of course she didn't say anything as usual.

She tells me my partner holds me back, doesn't want to do anything, everyone that she talks to doesn't like him. I told her, the people you talk to only hears what you think about him and doesn't know him personally and that if they knew him, they would like him. He doesn't hold me back at all and I am doing great in life with my career. We also do things all the time together.

So now to present. My partner ended up proposing to me on birthday last month in June. We were already going to get married in October this year, but he still wanted to propose regardless. His family knew about it as they love me and whatnot. We didn't tell my mom because a lot of things have been going on with her and I didn't want to add more frustration and whatnot onto her plate. We were just waiting for the right time to tell her. Well, she found out last night while I was at work. She was talking to my fiancé and then she caught him off guard and asked if we were engaged. He said yes as he wasn't fully paying attention as he was doing something when she asked. She got upset and frustrated that she only now found out. He told her why we didn't tell her yet. I get where she is coming from, but at the same time, so many things were going on with her that we didn't want to tell her yet. She didn't say anything when I got home, but then she texted us both in a group chat at 11PM how hurt and upset she was.

Oh, also, his grandparents out putting a huge down payment on a house for us as our wedding gift. No one knows about it except his grandparents as we and them didn't want to say anything to anyone until we found a house we were serious in buying and whatnot. I told her about that the other day as she was upset that we talked to them but I wasn't answering her texts for a day and she became so upset that we didn't tell her even though no one except his grandparents knew about it since they are putting down the payment. I told her this is going to be our house and no hers, so there was no need to tell her until we were in the stages of going through the process of buying the house.

His sister came out as a surprise for his birthday over the 20th of July for just the weekend. She wanted to come down sooner, but I asked her to come on Sunday as we will be out and about doing things and that his sister is coming out as a surprised and she knows that we haven't seen them in awhile. She got upset that she couldn't come out. I told her again that we will be gone and that she gets upset that we are doing something that we planned in advance and she can't come with. She was still upset as she was like, well, "I should be invited if he so wishes". I didn't say anything as I knew that he didn't want her to come with and we already had plans in advance, even if he didn't know what they were since it was a surprise for his birthday.