I have loved horses for as long as I can remember and started taking horseback riding lessons at the age of 6. I have always dreamed of owning my a horse, but in the last couple years I have had a lot happen that has dampened my passion. I am starting to give up on my dream and I don't know if I should keep fighting or quit. To give you some background...

- About 2 years ago I bought my first horse after many years of lessons and experience with leasing. This horse ended up seriously injuring my trainer after he spooked. Someone else was willing to work with me and my horse, but my trainer cut off complete contact with me. I would still see her at the barn, but she refused to even look at me even though I wasn't even present when the accident happened

- I paid the new trainer to work with my horse, however I learned that she was taking my money and never working with my horse which resulted in me losing over $1,000

- I moved barns and after a couple months figured out my horse was too spooky for me to handle. I sold him and never even reached a full year of owning him

- I started a private half-lease on a wonderful TB, but the owner treated me poorly. She accused me of things and was overprotective of him to the point that I didn't feel like she wanted me riding him so I quit leasing him and took a break from horseback riding.

- In September I started taking horseback riding lessons again. The barn owner is having me ride the same horse I leased which makes me uncomfortable. I am much more anxious than I used to be which is making my trainer frustrated at times.

I was really looking forward to getting back into horseback riding lessons, but it hasn't turned out the way I want to. I have thought about switching to western, which would require me to switch barns, but I am not sure that will solve the way I feel. I am tired of being treated like crap by my fellow equestrians and even trainers. I am bitter towards other people who own horses, but don't care for them properly.

I hate feeling this way, but getting back into horseback riding seemed to just remind me how hard it is to make it in the horse world. Horses are expensive and I find myself questioning if I will ever be able to afford one when years before I told myself I will find a way to make it work, no matter what. I collect model horses, I watch horse training videos, I have books about horses. Why do I feel so angry and bitter about something that I obviously love so much?

When do you know it is time to throw in the towel? How do I overcome my bad experiences?

Your story sounds to me, as if you are not in the right barn with the right trainers to feel comfortable and to make progress in your skills.

Do you have other options than just the way of riding you did by now? There are a lot of more disciplines and styles you did not try by now - maybe you can find one that fits better to you?

As a fully western rider and trainer I would suggest you try a western discipline stable - anything ranch or trail riding focused will be much more laid back than some other disciplines. It sounds like you've had some bad luck and a few trainers you haven't totally meshed with: don't lose hope, sometimes it takes a while and a lot of work to find that horse and trainer that's right for you. Find a trainer who respects/remembers that you're the paying client and treats you like that and you'll probably have a bit better experience