So it's been just over 1 year since my ex abused my now 2 1/2 year son while I was 7 months pregnant. 3 months after he did so I find out he is dating a girl and has known her since before I found out about second baby. I allow 1 day visitation (supervised) a week to keep from having to deal with a judge possibly giving him more visitation privileges. Every time I take them his girl friend accuses me of not keeping the boys well groomed and her recent one has my blood boiling. She told my mom that it's my fault my first born is 5% growth and has speach delayed because I consumed too much caffeine while pregnant. I only ever drank 1-2 8oz cups of decaf which each 8oz only had 2milligram caffeine in it but she go ticked because my mom replied back that it is more likely due to all the marijuana. I was exposed to 5+ nightcap every time I was over and I was over 2+ times every week plus they were doing one that he would close the door on while they used it. I never learnt anything about the stuff so I believed him when he said that the medical was safe. I did not find out till second baby that I had been being exposed enough to feel effects (mom kept me home to prove to me) at that point I took a test after being over for two days and I found out it was in my system. I had a long talk about it and we were trying to come up with plans to keep us protected but none worked. But he had a blind rage attack one night and released on my son and me. I will always hate myself for not thinking better and sooner.

I'm also mad because most all his family refuse to see the boys because I would not talk to my ex after his attack even thow I was told by a judge not to.

Since being away my oldest is gradually gaining ground and his Early education teacher is amazed by how fast he is catching up. He now talks even though I'm the only one that can understand most of what he says. My second boy is a wiz kid and gets mad when he can't figure things out the first time. 10 months old and already saying 6+ words and is 7 lb lighter than his brother.

Normally I don't post in snark anymore, but I don't like posting anything where my ex can see it

New GF needs to be out of the picture. It's absolutely none of her business, and she especially has some audacity going to your parents to smear you.

No matter what is going on between you and your ex, his family should want to see the kids. The fact that they're alienating their grandchildren to try and hurt you shows that they aren't mature enough to be caregivers to young kids in the first place. They have the chance to be a loving, safe, nurturing place for those babies regardless of all other drama, and they're throwing it away. Shame on them. They're missing out.

Do everything you can to keep your ex away from both you and those babies. This isn't me being an alarmist. He has proven that he's capable of harming all of you. Document every single time he steps out of line. Get an emergency custody order, protective/restraining order, anything and everything you can do.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm trying not to get mad for you, but I'm the mother of a little one and it's just fucking unacceptable. May you all heal from what you've been through, and please stay safe.