When I moved back to the US from Australia, all of my Aussie friends were worried I wouldn't stay in contact with them. A couple of them even came to the airport to wait at the gate with me before I boarded the plane. I have tried to reach out and maintain a friendship with some of them but I feel like my attempts are failing and friendship is not one sided. It can't be. But that is how it has felt with all of the friends I have or have had over the past few years. Perhaps its the pandemic or maybe it is just me?

For about a week now one of my Aussie friends and I have been planning to game today, playing a videogame we use to enjoy online. I was the one to suggest it since I am getting ready to move yet again and I just wanted to talk to my Australian friends one more time before I move across the US and will have limited time to talk. And it really has been a while. Anyways, I reached out and he seemed interested in gaming and we tried to work out a day and time. We agreed on today at noon his time (which is 7 my time). I just told him to text me when he was hopping online so then I am not just waiting in a discord voice chat by myself since I know that sometimes he gets busy. But today he was and is entirely free because he has work off. I even double confirmed it with him last night which would be early morning his time. So far, it is 2 hours past the time we were set to hop on the voice chat to play games and I still haven't heard anything. I wonder if maybe he did get busy? Or that something came up? But is it possible he is avoiding me so we are no longer friends?

Another member of our friend group told me once last year that the reason they are not contacting me isn't because they don't want to be friends but is instead because I am not exactly in their thoughts. And by that he meant ever. And while the rest of the group snapped at him and said that it is not at all true, could their "snapping" just have been a cover up of conversations they have when I am not there?

I am beginning to spiral. And although I no longer live in the same country as them, and it feels like lifetimes ago when I did live in Australia (it was only 2.5 years ago), there is a part of me that is still stuck trying to save a friendship that may not even be there anymore. Are we even friends?

FirstLightFarms said:

You've so clearly made a massive effort and they haven't bothered at all. I would set them aside and focus on other, more present friends.

It's nothing personal, some people just can't handle long distance friendships. Life happens and people change and grow. It's sad, but it also means you're moving through life. Hang in there ♡