The problem: I'm losing all motivation to ride and be involved with horses right now.

.

My riding ability and background: I've ridden for about 15 years, I started with hunters and dressage as my flatwork foundation. I ended up riding for two barns, one I did 2'6 hunters, and the other I did pretty much everything else (dressage, arab pleasure, western pleasure, etc.) I showed both locally and regionally in arabian breed shows and placed well, I have some champion and high point awards, along with an annual award for best half arab horse and rider combo. (So a pretty decent record.) During that time I was also working with a trainer and helping her back her green young horses & taking them to these shows as well. I also was involved in a rescue and at the time was their 'is this horse kid/ammy safe' guinea pig, along with helping them determine the level of rider they would need once adopted. While doing this I suffered a pretty bad fall and nearly broke my spine and tailbone. I recovered quick though and was riding again within a month. Then I got super busy with work and moved states so I took about two years off. When I got back into riding I had about a month or two of flatwork and building back my strength while we evaluated where I was. I ended up getting right back to where I was pretty easily and ended up progressing up to 3ft (riding two horses, one a hunter and the other a jumper) after a few more months. My new trainer would ask some of the younger owners (think middle and high schoolers) if they were okay with me working their horse when they had issues or the owner was going to miss some rides. I just couldn't afford to show as I was a full time high school student, a part time worker, and had a pretty normal social life as well but I didn't own a car and I paid for all of my lessons and personal things growing up. The reason I mention all of this in decent detail is so I know my ability isn't just in my head and me thinking I'm better than I am if other people and trainers also feel the same.

.

Where I'm at currently: I'm finishing up this year at my current college and transferring this summer (and moving states back to where my previous trainer is). The college I currently ride with is hunter focused which is totally fine with me as I have always enjoyed it, although I personally feel more satisfaction with jumpers. But while at my current college I feel as though my riding has been regressing the past few years. The lessons are very 'superficial' for a lack of better words, most lessons have 5 or 6 horses in them and often two lessons run at once in the same ring. I get few to no corrections, even though I know I need them as I know my bad habits, and since I don't own a horse to bring to campus & don't have a USEF record I was dropped down far below what I personally think I should be in. I lesson twice a week, the first being a flat lesson, and the second a 'jump' lesson, however I've gone from schooling 3ft to schooling crossrails or the occasional crossrail into a 2ft vertical. No courses, no corrections, no hacking (as you have to own a horse to ride outside of lesson time), no one-on-one work, etc. They hosted a home show for students a few months ago and would only let me do the crossrails devision, which I ended up winning both over fences and the flat class in. However the show that is coming up, they will not let me "move up" into the 2'3 division and have instead moved me down into just a flat class. It's not like I'm missing lessons or anything so I really don't understand their motivation. The worst part is that I chose this college because of the riding opportunities and now I'm not being able to take advantage of them. Everyone in the barn knows that they play favorites, and since I'm not on their IHSA team, I'm not one of them, which I personally don't care about, but it really shouldn't affect my riding career and at minimum, education, this much.

.

My Thoughts: Since there are no nearby barns and I don't have a car on campus, I'm unable to drop riding at the school and take my lessons else where. But I'm overall just not enjoying riding anymore, rather than being excited to go ride or even spend time in the barn, I dread going down and all I can think about is what else I could be doing. I'm thinking about stopping riding for now until I move in June, and just keeping my fitness up in the gym (which I already do) and going back to my old trainer. This is just the worst case of burnout I've ever faced with anything, let alone riding, and I just need some advice and opinions on the situation! I know it's a lot to read and take in but really any advice from those who have dealt with this before would be greatly appreciated, I'll likely take a few months off and return to riding with my old trainer in the other state.

If you can't find a different barn, take a break. It doesn't sound like riding is the problem- but the barn is. Absolutely not worth sticking it out and risk losing your love and confidence.

Thank you puck! <3

That's what I was thinking too, I'm sure part of it is liability because it is a college and not just a barn (don't ask me what legal changes that makes lol), but it can be frustrating when I try to figure out if I'm just not as good as I think, or it's just a shitty barn, and I've been luck enough to not have much experience with the latter so it's new territory for me.

If nobody else was jumping bigger than crossrails and they were nailing down your flatwork and actually helping you, it'd be one thing, but from the sounds of it they're just playing favorites and that's not fair to you.

Though it is possible that they don't allow non-lease or owners to move up, which I know some barns do to keep the workload on their horses down, which is fine! Prioritize the horse! But the fact that they moved you DOWN makes me think that's not what's happening.

Oh yeah I totally get that if that was the case, but they have two or three older horses (late teens) that they keep pushing to do 2'9ish and one now has an issue with refusing and just generally not enjoying jumping anymore, not to mention the time they wanted me to ride a horse with open rainrot sores under his saddle. What confuses me is how much they flip flop their priorities and standards, if it was consistent I think I would have had an easier time coming to a conclusion about what I want to do. But hearing it from you really helped me make my mind up!