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"WHY are you flying? Last time I checked, you aren't a KITE" |
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Whee I have a lot. Keep in mind: my trainer is an old lady with a heavy smokers voice. Imagine everything being said by this woman and it's 10x funnier.
"Get your taIL UNDER YOUU" (I'm 110 lbs with an extremely arched back and a curvy booty- she calls it a tail) xD
"TROT TROT TROT TROT TROT TROT"
"NO MACY. HALT RIGHT NOW AND GET OVER HERE."
*runs out on an oxer* *loses my stirrup and almost falls off side but regains balance* *slows down to reorganize myself* "NO. GO. NOW. DO IT AGAIN."
*at a problem fence that we keep refusing* "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO. RUN HIM INTO THE STANDARD IF HE RUNS OUT. DON'T YOU DARE LET HIM GO PAST IT AGAIN."- Shirley 2k18
"ONE MORE TIME."-said every trainer ever |
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And things I've overheard at horse shoes from other trainers-
"SLOWWWWW DOWWWNNNNNN AMANDAAAA. THIS IS NOT A NASCAR RACEE" (in British accent) |
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Me to my horse: "YOU ARE A @$#@%# REINER, NOT A KENTUCKY DERBY HORSE!!!" "You bite me, and you'll wake up in next week" said to a nasty little mare "FINE. You wanna back up? You can run backwards to Timbuktu. Always wanted to go there" *to a tied up pawing horse* "Go ahead and dig to China. They eat horses"
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Dimrill Dale said:*to a tied up pawing horse* "Go ahead and dig to China. They eat horses"
this is my new quote for when DJ paws the ground during a bath.... |
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Dimrill Dale said:
*to a tied up pawing horse* "Go ahead and dig to China. They eat horses"
I am going to tell this to my yearling. He paws all. the. time. |
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LOL, I tell my boys that all the time, and funnily enough, sometimes they'll actually stop.
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My trainer: Alright one more time.
Me: *Does what I'm supposed to do and starts walking out horse after*
My trainer: Why'd you stop?
Me: *sharp inhale*
In my head: *Boy, every time you say one more time, five times later here we are doing the same. darn. thing.
. . . She speaks lies >.>* |
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I was lucky enough to attend a clinic with one of the best trainers in the world (in the eventing world anyways!), and he had some gems. At one point he asked the three riders (all teens) to close their eyes while they were trotting around the arena. Some chaos ensued. He then asked them to halt. <“Why do you think I asked you to close your eyes?”> ... “<Because you weren’t using them anyways so there was no need to have them open!!”>
At one point he had one girl halted, then asked her to walk on. Then went <AH”>, and asked her to stop again. “<Now I want you to jump off your horse but stay in the saddle. Jump. But STAY. JUMP. NO STAY. See how confusing that is? I can only ask you to do one thing at a time. So when you ask your horse to go forwards, DO NOT PULL YOUR REINS LIKE YOU JUST DID.”>
I myself am a (new!) trainer so do find myself using those old gems.. “<Okay! Aaaaaand... just one more time!”> <“Leg leg leg leg leg leg SEE YOU DIDNT USE ENOUGH LEGGGG”> <“Goooooood!>” <“Up down up down up down up down”> x100 for beginners’ lessons ;)
I had a very funny but very.. erm... honest.. instructor in college, but as much of her rhetoric wasn’t very PG-13 I won’t repeat it here ;) ;) |
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I guarantee all of you have heard this. I don't hear this much anymore, but for the first three years of my riding lessons what I mostly heard was the classic "HEELS DOWN" |
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Showers Off and On
