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oh boy just had the most chaotic lesson of my life so here we go: "ok so if she does that again then heh, no treats" "NO TRICK RIDING I ALREADY HAVE TO PAY VET BILLS I'M NOT PAYING YOUR HOSPITAL BILLS" "Ma'am why were you not sitting down? You're not a bird so you're not flying either" |
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Classic- *riding perfectly well*
<oh for goodness sake get your heels down>
<seriously if your legs were wings you would be in space by now> * says as I canter into a large oxer on a horse who's favourite things to do are buck, bolt and rear* Im not kidding about that horses favourite things to do being bucking, bolting and rearing. I once (on a rare occasion) told her she was a good girl and yet she put her ears back yet when I told her she was bad she put her ears forward. For those who dont ride a horse with it's ears back is a angry/sad/upset horse but one with their ears forward is a happy/pleased horse *I fall off* <where is the horse and where are you ???> |
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Trivia Team
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Me today, throwing a saddle at a teenager: hang on I gotta go save a small child from a raccoon (In the raccoons defense, the small child was trying to fight it. However strange you think your trainer is, I guarantee we have a 6 year old student that's 10x weirder) |
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Today was....rough My student has a show tomorrow (20in hunter class) and rusty her horse wasn't being very helpful so here are the things I had said today ×××××× "Oh yay he turned into a bunny wabbit and hwopped over dee wee jump" *proceeds to walk over to the jump and hop over it* "see that was so hard" <twelve minutes later> "Lord help me the cat is not going to make the barn fall over pay attention to the horse" "Heh that was very horrible try getting him to canter before trying to jump" "Very nicely ask him to move his fat butt faster" |
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Rumble Team
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During a jumping lesson quite some time ago, this comment made me laugh so hard I still think about it. While doing bounces down the center of the arena with no reins or irons my trainer yelled out "You look like a chicken! Do you like looking like a chicken?" It was out of nowhere and I laughed the entire way down the line and through the corner. |
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A clinician to my friend today: "God's not going to help you when you're a stride away from the jump and decide to make a change!" |
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Me at 6 am having to walk through the pasture to save the yearling from the cows that stepped on his blanket so he couldn't stand "well this is a nice way to spend my morning, let's do this all the time " cutely throws a rock at the cow |
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" are you riding a horse or playing a piano? Get your hands up" |
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This thread is the funniest thing I've read in my life. I would cry if any of these happened to me. |
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Dusty Hooves said:
(little insight... I'm not small, standing at 5'6 and weighing 150 lbs) * my instructor tells me to do a turn on the forehand on a very stubborn horse * -10 minutes later- * my leg is literally falling off I think I am going to die I've been kicking for hours * * my instructor * "WHAT ARE YOU, A 3'2 BABY WITH PUDGY CHEEKS AND FLOPPY ARMS?! KICK HARDER!" "HARDERRRRRR" "YOU LOOK LIKE A DODO BIRD. YOU'RE LEGS ARE FLAPPING AROUND LIKE THEY CAN FLY. YOU DO KNOW IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO FLY YOU FLAP WITH YOUR ARMS, RIGHT?" -ten minutes later... I still haven't got the horse to move and quite literally am passing out- * instructor gets whip and smacks horse so hard it flies across the arena, almost leaving me in the dust * * instructor * "SEE? I got him to move!"
I can 100% relate to that experience. Like, I'm struggling to move the horse faster and the only advice they have for me is "Kick him harder!". Like, thanks, you're not really helping me though? |
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Showers Off and On
