obviously its not that exact unicorn but it looks very similar.

I would have most stories but usually im the one saying the stuff making my trainers laugh not the other way around XD

I've got everyone's favorite

"If you don't get your shit together I'm taking your stirrups"

Once I had to do a 2'9 course stirrupless because another girl, who doesn't lesson with my trainer, said she didn't think it was doable :')

honestly that was the one of the few good things about Duke. I leased this horse for a while who thought he was a 2 year old thorougbred nont a 12 year old warmblood. He was a ... special boy. We called him Spooky Dukey for a reason. But while i was leasing him my trainer would always be like "okay, everyone but Eldritch drop your stirrups!" because while i have gallops around with no stirrups, none of us wante to repeat the experinece

oh also i rode in spain once for a bit and the trainer there, he mostly spoke spanish and I spoke very little. I was like 12 and had problems back then with hunching while I was riding so he would just yell "Straight the back!" and for some reason that triggered my body into straightening up and then when we told my trainer she liked it so much that she began using it.

Here's mine when I first started cantering.

"stop flopping around like a sack of potatoes" I dont think i was sitting up straight or something

This is hilarious 😂

"Kick your slow dinosaur and get him moving!"

My old trainer would say during a bridleless clinic "the more you use your reins the less they use their brains"

My trainer says after bad rides.

"You still know how to dance right, well cartwheel your dumb ass out of here"

"Tuck your arms in you chicken"

"I don't get paid enough"

"Great jump, you know it might be easier if the horse goes with you"

"If i see that elbow drop again I'm cuttin of your elbow"

Plus the sarcastic remarks

"Well I need my extra glass of wine tonight"

"Did you forget to pick up a new brain on your way here"

"I don't know why that horse did not buck you off, I would of ran you over"

I was doing XC this weekend, and I have a problem with looking down, and looking at my shadow, idk why, but my trainer said some of the funniest things EVER! here are some of them

¨If you look down one more time, well idk a good threat, but act like im threatening you!¨

¨Dont look at your shadow! Dont worry, you look beautiful!¨

¨If your eyes are down, sooner or latter so will your body!¨

¨ Your horse must think your going crazy! Do you not trust her to pick up the right lead! YOUR GOING IN A STRAIGHT LINE ANYWAYS!!!¨

¨You worry abt the ground, and then, POOF! Your on the ground!¨

These might not be funny to you but Ive never really had a funny trainer

"Don't let him skip his change, he's being a camel." ~ a clinician to a friend who's horse was being heavy and lazy when she let him do a simple change instead of a flying one.