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Belle said:
Notable things my Army-qualified riding instructor said to me: "Well that was shit, wasn't it?" "BE BETTER" "Sit up" "What the FUCK is wrong with you"
"Never ride this horse again" "Ok, that was decent"
"Nope" "WRONG LEG"
Me: "I'm kinda scared," Her: "I'm putting the jump up" "If you fall, that's your fault"
*Head in hands*
Her: "HOW OLD ARE YOU?" Me: "I'm 16..." Her: "That didn't require an answer!" *Growling*
*Walks away* "Ooh, that was nice!" "You're done" *Clap* "You're done" *Clap*
these are my absolute favourites XD |
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Belle said:
Notable things my Army-qualified riding instructor said to me: "Well that was shit, wasn't it?" "BE BETTER" "Sit up" "What the FUCK is wrong with you"
"Never ride this horse again" "Ok, that was decent"
"Nope" "WRONG LEG"
Me: "I'm kinda scared," Her: "I'm putting the jump up" "If you fall, that's your fault"
*Head in hands*
Her: "HOW OLD ARE YOU?" Me: "I'm 16..." Her: "That didn't require an answer!" *Growling*
*Walks away* "Ooh, that was nice!" "You're done" *Clap* "You're done" *Clap*
these are my absolute favourites XD |
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my instuctor's on summer break right now but i sure miss her
"WHAT are you looking at?? do i need to take his ear bonnet and put it on you?"
"we are NOT vaulters WHY ARE YOU DOING GYMNASTICS"
"when i say canter you canter. if he won't do it get on all fours and do it yourself."
"why exactly are we dipping our shoulders side to side like a broken seesaw??"
"oh my god how have you stayed alive for so long with that seat" |
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She's awesome, and most of the time she's joking... Most of the time lol - I'm not actually the worst rider >.>
FirstLightFarms said:
Belle said:
Notable things my Army-qualified riding instructor said to me: "Well that was shit, wasn't it?" "BE BETTER" "Sit up" "What the FUCK is wrong with you"
"Never ride this horse again" "Ok, that was decent"
"Nope" "WRONG LEG"
Me: "I'm kinda scared," Her: "I'm putting the jump up" "If you fall, that's your fault"
*Head in hands*
Her: "HOW OLD ARE YOU?" Me: "I'm 16..." Her: "That didn't require an answer!" *Growling*
*Walks away* "Ooh, that was nice!" "You're done" *Clap* "You're done" *Clap*
Okay I LOVE your trainer
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Trivia Team
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Child, distracted and riding poorly: Me: what is WRONG with you Child: I lost a tooth! Me: congrats! Please ride your pony! Child: can you hold it? Me: Me: OH YOU JUST LOST YOUR TOOTH RIGHT NOW (I ended up holding it for the rest of her lesson. I don't even know anymore.) |
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My mother took her stallion at the time (now gelded) to a Dressage Clinic at this fancier arena that had a wall of mirrors along one side. And her stallion, being the massive jackass flirt that he is, sees this gorgeous horse in the arena (his reflection) and he gets a little excited. And then the other horse (reflection) gets a little excited so Stallion gets more excited that the other horse (reflection) is also excited... And this escalates to the point where Stallion is trying to mount the mirrors/wall of the arena... And the Clinician, after the shitshow that is this Stallion gets settled, tells my mother: "Maybe it is good he does Dressage, maybe he is gay, no?" in a thick french accent. |
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so I have some really bad luck with horses, especially leased ones. Basically, if a horse is going to spook, trip, buck, etc, it will do that while I am on it. First horse I leased was called Simon, great boy, then he got lime and took me for a one stirrup 15 minute gallop in 85 degree weather. Then I leased Duke who was... a special boy (aka acted like a 2 year old thoroughbred instead of a 12 year old warmblood). Chewy was great, but he went lame and needed surgery (he's fine just needs stall rest) after falling on his face with me on him. So my trainer decided to put me on this horse called Wayland for my most recent show. Wayland is a good boy, but spiritually he is 25 and honestly is one of the safest horses and knows his job and can basically just do the show by himself. Of course, during my second trip, he fall almost on his face right in front of the jump. I'm talking his head went almost between his legs. Somehow, I managed to stay on (Wayland saved my butt but putting his neck out so that when I fell forwards I landed on it and he kept his neck like that so that I could recenter myself). After I finished the course, my trainer took me aside and said "Next show, I'm having you show Princess Glitterhoof. She's the only one right now that I trust will not fall, buck, or spook" |
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Showers Off and On
