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lately, and by 'lately', i mean from the begining of march to present day (05-10) i dont know if its just a confidence knock but everytime i go out and ride i would much rather just get off, and go home. Walking around is usually fine, and trotting is 50/50 whether i'm okay with it or not. I haven't loped in over a month because my fall from early febuary keeps popping up in my mind, which kind've sucks, because if you didn't know, i'm a barrel racer :/. Also, Twinx never goes into a lope smoothly if she hasn't been working consistenly. Lately what she does is she does a super fast and bouncy trot into a really bouncy and short strided lope before never settling. As im writing this im thinking this is one my thrice yearly major confidence knocks, because i don't (by 'don't' it's more so 'don't want to get thrown off again while simply loping, which is a basic skill and nothing hard, and it's easy, and I still can't even get myself to do it) want to go any faster than a trot, and even when working the barrel pattern, when Twinx boosts off around the turns I psych myself out, and all she's doing is a slightly quicker trot, and it still freaks me out. I haven't said anything about it to my trainer, as i've always been a person to dog through things without saying anything, and i don't think im ever going to change that. i dont want to stop riding because its literally my life, but man, sometimes i sure do hate it with my whole being. zero clue what to do now. |
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Talk to your trainer. They should be aware of your problems and lacking confidence and they should try to help you, going past this. If you don´t tell anyone, you will not get help at all and it will get worse and worse. And this seems quite unfair to your horse and to yourselves. Your anxiety is, what causes your horse to get timid, too. She does not know, that is wrong, but she definitely knows when you are anxious and this will make things do down without any help from outsides. |
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With confidence knocks is better to tell your teacher, and just start riding all over again. Go through all the basics and get the trust back with your horse, it always helps <3 |
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Try find the fun in it again. Maybe this looks like going on hacks, spending time with your pony without riding, messing around at the walk bareback, or anything else low-pressure - I know it's easier said than done, but sometimes you need to take the pressure off 100% to remember why you loved it in the first place. It doesn't sound like just forcing yourself to do the scary thing has worked so far, so maybe a different approach is necessary. 100% agree with Kuewi though. Being honest with your trainer will give them the chance to help you with it. That's exactly what they are there for. An outside perspective (especially while riding, as the anxiety rises) is invaluable. Confidence knocks are normal and nothing to be ashamed of - you've got this <3 |
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